Written by Citin (postcount0 moderator)
Harry quickly bounded down the stairs, eager to get away from Ron and Hermoine before either of them noticed how much Ron's new penis was turning him on. As he rounded the corner relief flooded into him like a soothing smell of anal lube, but that relief quickly disappeared when he saw the scene that was laid out before him in the dining room.
A very stern looking Mr. Weasley was sitting the far end of the dining room table. His gaze never left Harry as he stood their jaw agape quickly searching for some means of escape. Slowly his gaze rose and he saw two women, Ginny and Mrs. Weasley, sitting limply behind Mr. Weasley both of them had fresh welts forming on their faces. He tried to look Ginny in the eye, but her head hung limply and the few glimpses he got of her eyes showed an emptiness that chilled him to the core.
"What happened..."? Harry began, but he was quickly cut off as Mr. Weasley rose threateningly to his feet.
"These are troubling times Harry my boy," Mr. Weasley said mildly, "so I'm sure you can't blame a man for wanting a little more protection in his own home." He then raised his wand and, with a quick flash of his wrist, summoned a large television onto the middle of the table. Mr. Weasley walked around, turned on the T.V. and then stood beside it and watched, as did Harry.
Displayed before the two was a summary of all of last night's antics, which caused Harry to pale visibly. Mr. Weasley then turned to Harry and raised his wand menacingly.
"Where's my wand?" Thought Harry, not daring to move his hand for fear of provoking an attack from Mr. Weasley. Instead he backed away slowly around the corner, and as he did he could feel his wand in his pocket, gingerly bumping up against his leg.
"Now," said Mr. Weasley, "to do the task that will that will give me much honour in the eyes of my new lord."
However, when Mr. Weasley turned the corner, intent on killing Harry and horribly defiling his corpse, he was stunned and was left mouth open unable to move. There on the floor, behind Harry was Ron and Hermoine, intimately entwined. This came to no surprise to him; after all he had triumphantly watched the beginning of his son's brilliant achievement the night before. What surprised him was that, instead of simply kissing, Hermoine was currently engaged in sucking a large penis off his son's face.
Harry saw his opportunity and took it. He wasn't sure what had frozen Mr. Weasley but he quickly ran straight for the dinning room, unfortunately missing the sight of his two best friends' passionate entanglement. He quickly grabbed the flu powder container that always rested over the fireplace and threw the entire pot into the flames. Behind him he heard Mr. Weasley begin to come out of his trance and begin casting Magic Missiles in all directions. So, he hurriedly jumped into the flames and called out his destination. At once he was off to Diagon Alley... he hoped, but he wasn't entirely surprised when the dust cleared and he found himself in a familiar shop in the middle of Knock turn Alley.