Chapter Thirteen
"I think it's great how you find the time to come see Sam so often and do all your briefings, and all the work that must entail, at the White House. I watch them when I get a chance and I think it's great how you…answer those questions," Dr Keel finished lamely and winced at his ineptness to describe just how impressed he was when he watched CJ facing the press. "I'm sorry," he shook his head, "I'm usually more articulate than this."
CJ smiled and laughed. "Believe me; I've heard worse descriptions of how I do my job. Although a lot of it's to do with how I don't answer those questions."
"Yeah, you're particularly good at that!" Keel looked up and saw Toby and Josh leaving Sam's room and immediately went back into doctor mode. "I've only just come on shift. Your friends are here but I'll go find out what's going on."
"Thanks," CJ snagged his arm, "and thanks for the inarticulate praise. It was nice."
He smiled, nodded and hurried away.
Josh looked at Toby but couldn't read the expression on his face as he watched CJ approach them. "They're trying to get his temp down so we got thrown out," Josh explained as she sat down beside him. "He was babbling and muttering all kinds of stuff but then quietened down. His chest sounded bad. Did you think his chest sounded bad?" he asked, leaning over to look at Toby.
"I did." Toby glanced at CJ but looked away, his expression unreadable.
"What?" CJ asked.
"What?" Toby replied.
"Your face," Josh explained on behalf of CJ. "You've got a funny look on it like you know something that no one else does."
"There are many things I know that no one else does. Not least, how to sit by a hospital bed with a quivering wreck on the other side of it!"
Josh nodded. "Yeah, Michael can be a bit emotional."
Toby smacked a hand against his forehead and paced over to the seats on the other side of the corridor.
Michael returned with a pile of sandwiches and coffee. I thought I'd get a few things as I know from old you'll be staying here a while and I bet none of you have eaten."
Josh took the tray off him and placed it carefully on Toby's vacated chair. "You're a good man, Michael." Josh selected a sandwich and peeled the lid off a cup. "Is Diane coming this evening?"
"She's at a charity event in DC tonight. Apparently supporting the Women's Health Fund is more important than checking on the health of her son."
An awkward silence followed in which coffee was sipped and sandwiches eaten until the door to Sam's room was opened revealing Keel. "His temperature is down and he's more lucid now." Keel let them enjoy that news before continuing. "His temperature was high because he's developed a chest infection. That's to be expected really but it's the last thing he needs in the weakened state he's in. We've started treating him and hopefully we've caught it early enough." Keel looked at the dejected faces before him and his gaze settled on CJ. "I'm sorry. I know it seems to be all bad news but we just have to try to take this one day at a time."
"Can we see him?" CJ asked.
Keel nodded and wiped tiredly at his face. "Don't tire him out though, he needs to rest."
Josh finished his sandwich, drained the last of his coffee and went to Sam's room. His stomach lurched, as it often did, on recognising the unique smell of a hospital room which took him back to his own recovery and in particular the initial, painful, frightening days of it.
Sam's eyes were closed. His hair was plastered to his forehead and his breathing sounded laboured and painful. Josh sat down and reached for Sam's hand through the rail. "Don't open your eyes, Sam, just rest. I'm here and CJ, Toby and your dad are outside."
Despite Josh's words, Sam's eyes opened and wandered around the room before focusing and settling on Josh. "Keep getting…ill. Think…can take it…then just get more…ill." He closed his eyes again and was quiet for a few moments. His hand squeezed Josh's tightly. "Don't like it…don't…ill…want it to stop…had enough."
"It's not for much longer. You just have to fight for a little bit more. Your chest is weak but it'll get stronger again and then you'll start feeling better and everything else will be easier." Josh moved his other hand through the rail and placed it on Sam's shoulder when he saw Sam shaking his head. "Sam, it will. You have to believe me. I know it's tough now but it will get better if you hang in there."
"Too tired…Josh…don't think…can…don't think…want to."
"Sam!" Josh wanted to shake him, to shake the fight into him and the despondency out of him. He remembered Keel's instructions that Sam needed to rest and breathed in deeply. He realised that he had Sam's hospital gown scrunched in his fist and he let it go and placed his hand on Sam's head instead. "I know you don't think you've got any fight left, it's a miracle you've got this far, but you have. You're stronger than me- you always have been."
Josh straightened up and rinsed the cloth that sat in a bowl of cold water by the bed. He wrung it out tightly watching its colour change slightly as the soaked flannel lost some of its moisture. He wished he could wring Sam's illness from him just as easily. He sat back down and saw that Sam's eyes were closed once more but knew from the small smile that flickered briefly on his face when he wiped it with the cool cloth, that he wasn't asleep. Sam's mouth opened slowly but Josh stopped him before he could speak. "Don't say anything, Sam, just rest, then you can fight, then you can heal." He placed the cloth back in the bowl. "It's the Lyman three-step programme."
Sam's eyes opened slightly and the same small smile flickered across his face. "I like this 'Sam not speaking' thing. Normally you'd be making cutting comments about my programme." Josh smiled at Sam and started to move away. Sam's tight grip on his hand stopped him though. Josh bent down so that his face was inches from Sam's. "You're going to get through this, Sam. I won't let you stop fighting."
Sam nodded slowly and held Josh's gaze. He mouthed 'I know' and then closed his eyes, Josh's hand cupping his face as he fell once more into the comforting darkness.
Sam didn't wake and so Toby, CJ and Josh left. Michael stayed and doodled patterns over a crossword as he sat by his son. The sound of Diane's high heels approaching the room made Michael sigh and he folded the newspaper up and placed it under his chair.
"Why didn't you phone me?" Diane asked as soon as she entered the room.
"Why did you have your cell phone switched off? I phoned the place where you were three times and left two messages on your cell. It's not my fault if you'd rather be off swishing around in your…what in the hell colour is that meant to be anyway?" In the clinical and stark hospital environment Dianes gown made her look like she was in fancy-dress.
She ignored Michael's comment and went straight to Sam's side, placing a hand on his shoulder and gently shaking him.
"Don't wake him up! What the hell are you- Jesus! Diane, he can't slip in and out of consciousness to suit your social calendar you know!"
Diane straightened and stared at Michael with a hatred that still took him by surprise. She had hated him before she found out about the affair, but the embarrassment and loss of prestige the scandal had caused her had turned her hatred into venom so vicious it made Michael shiver to see it. "I know you're enjoying your little Seaborn Senior fan club but I know the real you and so does Sam, deep down. Deep down he knows you're nothing but a fake."
Without realising he was doing so, Michael reached for Sam's hand and wrapped his own around it. "You're son is lying here fighting." Michael shook his head and took a deep breath. "They say that hearing is the last sense to go, well I hope to God that Sam can't hear this because standing over his hospital bed coming up with lame insults is hardly likely to make him want to open his eyes anytime soon." He looked up at her, forcing her to meet his stare. "Stay or leave, it's all the same to me. But I'm staying so you'll just have to put up with that I'm afraid."
Michael had beaten her on this one and she knew to carry it on or make another comment would just vindicate what he had said. Slowly she sat down and took Sam's hand. They sat in silence, both focused on their son and trying to appear unconcerned by the presence of the other.
Sam seemed better the next day. His fever had fallen and his eyes seemed more focused. That's what Josh thought as he sat by his bed reading highlights from that day's edition of the Washington Post. "Here's one you'll like," he said folding the paper in half and resting it back against his leg. "U.S. Skipper in Contention for Match Race. American skipper Ed Baird is in position to win his first championship on the Swedish Match Tour, sailing's top professional match-racing circuit." Josh paused and checked to see if Sam was listening. A few times he had got engrossed in an article only to finish and find Sam had drifted off again.
Sam realised Josh had stopped and turned his eyes from the ceiling to his face. He nodded slowly to indicate that Josh should carry on. He liked listening to Josh and Toby reading. He couldn't follow what they said for long but trying to concentrate on their voices stopped him from concentrating on the sheer effort it seemed to take just to draw a breath.
"Baird, who represents America's Cup champion Alinghi of Switzerland, and Australia's Peter Gilmour, of Pizza-La Sailing Team, are tied with 102 points going into the season finale. But Gilmour has competed in one more regatta than Baird. The winner receives a $60,000 bonus and a BMW." Josh stopped again. "Wow! Man, are we in the wrong jobs!"
"No…sea legs…remember."
"No sea legs," Josh agreed resignedly.
Michael appeared carrying a bag and placed it by Sam's bed. "The nurses said you could wear your own tops so I went to your place and got a few T-shirts. You want to put one on now?"
Sam shook his head but held his hand out to show he wanted to see what his dad had chosen. Josh folded the newspaper and tucked it on top of Toby's book on the bedside table. "I'll go get a coffee."
"Thanks…reading to me."
When Josh had gone, Michael finished showing Sam what he had brought and then fished a cap out of the bag. He picked up the chair and took it over to the door. On seeing Sam's puzzled face he explained what he was doing. "When your fever was high you kept going on about goblins and I realised it's this exit sigh you can see. You mumble about them in your dreams as well so I thought if I covered the sign up it might stop you thinking about-"
Michael was silenced abruptly by Josh who, being intent on not spilling his drink, had not looked up through the door's window to see Michael standing on a chair on the other side of it. The bash of the door hitting the chair, the scrape of its legs as it slid slightly before toppling over and the sound of Michael's cry of surprise followed each other in quick succession. A muffled, "I'm okay," came from the floor. As quickly as he could, Michael stood up and moved into Sam's line of sight. "I'm okay, Sam, your old dad's okay. Just a few bruises and perhaps a sprain or two." He shot an accusing look at Josh before turning around and staring up at the exit sign. "Hey, what do you know, the hat stayed on!"
Sam couldn't keep his head raised any longer and it sunk back onto the pillow but Josh's grin was matched by Michael's when they both realised that Sam was laughing.
"I've seen Sam fall over his own feet more times than I care to remember but never, not once, have I drawn any humour from it." Michael said.
Sam's eyes widened. "You…laugh at me…laugh until crying."
"Often that's the case," Michael admitted. He walked back over to the bed and kissed Sam's forehead. "A few more of those smiles of yours will have me crying with laughter," he whispered and Josh felt such a sudden and strong longing to see his own father again that he said his goodbyes and left the room.
"Hey, Tobus." CJ walked into his office and perched on his desk. "So what do you know that I don't know?"
Toby didn't look up from his work. "I know that you've got a briefing in five minutes so should probably be somewhere else right now."
"I'm clued up on all angles and possible questions on all my stories. Now I want to hear yours."
Toby sighed. He knew he wasn't going to get any peace until he had told CJ so he threw his pencil down on his desk and swivelled his chair to face her. "I know that a certain ER doc has a-"
"Soft spot," CJ offered.
Toby nodded. "Yes, a soft spot for a certain Press Secretary and I also know that this soft spot is reciprocated."
"Can soft spots be reciprocated?" CJ asked.
"I'm not sure but that's what I know and I want you to know that I know so that you don't have to fluffle around in the corridors to talk to him. I think it's a good thing and I don't know if you feel that you're somehow being disloyal to Sam by pursuing a relationship while he's in hospital but he'd think it was a good thing too."
CJ stared at Toby a knowing look on her face. "You know a few days ago when I said you were a Teddy Bear?" Toby nodded and looked wary. "Well you're not only a Teddy Bear but you're one of those ones that has a little pad in its paw that you can press to make it say something sweet and loving."
"Can you go now, please?"
CJ didn't move but then glanced at the clock and realising she had a minute to get to the briefing room, jumped off the desk and walked to the door. Once there she stopped and turned back. "Fluffle?"
Toby shrugged. "I made it up. Speechwriters are allowed to do that."
CJ threw him a sceptical look before departing.
Josh made a serious of strokes with his pen through a report he was reading and called for Donna. She appeared at the door alongside Leo. "Leo's here," she announced unnecessarily.
"Yeah, thanks Donna, I might have missed that. Here's a report for you to send back with politer comments than I've scribbled in the margin. Use the famous Moss charm."
"Moss's aren't famous for their charm."
"Have a go," Josh instructed. Leo stepped aside for Donna to exit and then and walked over to the guest chair. "What's up?" Josh asked, secretly perturbed by Leo's unusual trip to his office.
"Nothing, I just wandered how you're doing." Leo stared at Josh making it clear he expected nothing less than the truth.
"I'm good. Sam seemed a lot better this morning. He was looking at me, you know? It's like he's back with us."
Leo nodded and sat back in the chair. "And how're you doing?"
"I'm okay, Leo, really. I'm not pretending I'm finding any of this easy and it's brought up a few memories but nothing I can't handle."
"You've spoken to Stanley?"
"No, and I don't need to. Honestly, Leo, I'm fine." Josh wiped at his face and walked over to the window. "Well, as fine as I can be. I'd be a lot better if the doctors would say something more hopeful than 'Sam's holding his own', or keep telling me how amazing it is he's survived this long as if they're expecting him to suddenly…" Josh took a deep breath and turned back to Leo a disarming smile on his face. "Okay, forget I said all that and just remember the 'I'm fine' stuff."
"Yeah, I think I'll do that." He looked at him for a while. "Just make sure you're not doing that candle thing, okay."
"Burning it at both ends?" Josh smiled.
"That's the one," Leo nodded and headed back to his own office.
A few hours later Josh was thinking about the conversation as he walked along the hospital corridor. If Leo had come to see him a few days ago he would have given him some very different answers to his questions. But, Sam seemed to be doing better, Josh, Toby and CJ had a good visiting roster going and somehow Michael and Diane had managed to come to some sort of ceasefire. Josh smiled as he entered the room, wondering if Sam was up to hearing the latest gossip from the Hill.
That's why it was such a shock when he saw two nurses by the bed, a doctor at the end of the bed reading a chart and another adjusting the switch on the ventilator that Sam was hooked up to. It was such a shock that Josh turned on his heels, walked outside and phoned Toby and didn't go back in until he arrived.