The foreign yet familiar taste of the dusty air filled his lungs drowning him in a laborious memory of a premature and naïve love. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the flicker of a superficial white from the luminous plastic light located on the far wall. The drone of the generator seemed louder than he remembered, his laboured breathing and the whirring of blood rushing in his ears the only sound he recalled from his time in the building built of sentiment and worry. With a casual and strong arm he swiped the gate open watching it role effortlessly along its railed hinges. He stepped into the cage they had frequently shared; the cell in which they locked themselves away from the world. A thousand memories of controlled and sometimes vented emotions coated him in a fine layer of recollection.
History seemed such an inadequate word for the archive of events that occurred between them he mused as he perched on what had become his crate during their cherished clandestine meetings. He exhaled a disbelieving laugh at the way he in admiration of her valour agreed to break into the Vatican with her. The Vatican. If his mother knew she'd kill him; if his father had known he would have laughed gently, his tone a knowing one. He thought about his father for a while. Would he be proud of his unfaltering defiance of the Agency's protocol- his seemingly constant disregard for the rules since his first meeting with Sydney? Perhaps not. But he would understand how in love, the strongest of men adhere to the persistent longing of their hearts, choosing the bittersweet call of adoration over rationality. He missed his father terribly, feeling guilty at the way his grief over losing Sydney seemed to eclipse that of the grief of losing a parent. He wished a thousand times over his Dad could have met the woman who astonished him everyday with her gentle yet fierce love, the woman who's strength and bravery would have put a hundred of the most courageous soldiers to shame, the woman who had wholly and completely stolen his heart. What burned him the most was the fact he knew they would have got on fantastically, never any trace of a doubt that his father would have felt any less than complete adoration towards her. Emotions flitted in his stomach at the excitement of the idea of introducing Sydney and his Mom to each other. He'd never been surprised that Lauren and his mother never really hit it off- his late wife different to any person he had met before. At first he thought the contrast in personality to be endearing- a pleasant change from the woman who had broken him, but the originality in Lauren's temperament over time proved to be awkward and at times unwelcome. When they had met, Vaughn couldn't understand why Lauren and his mother had never bonded in the way he would have hoped. He had been angry at his mother's unfounded dislike of his future wife. She apologised profusely to him simply stating "Michael, je suis si désolé. But this does not feel right. She is not right". To his exasperated response "Why doesn't this feel right Maman?" she simply replied "Intuition de la mere" he was about to argue back when she softly added a statement which chilled his soul "Je ne la fie pas avec votre Coeur".
To be honest with himself he didn't truly trust Lauren with his heart either. He was still slightly distant and jaded, bitterness from Syd's death still looming in his chest. He felt colder than the man he was used to being, a darkened stranger living his life for him. He had been robbed of the most important entity of his life- Sydney, the consequence being the disintegration of the gentle and caring way he was with his former asset. He felt as if he had been raped of the ability to love properly. Lauren never saw the tender and tentative Michael that Sydney had fallen in love with. She became used to the at times stoic and predictable romantic tendencies of her husband as it was all she knew of him, and he became used to being that person. He was the new and not so improved Michael Vaughn- loyal, concise, thoughtful and gentle... but dull. He had liked the person that he was when he was with Sydney- they always managed to bring out the best in each other, only the most likable traits and quirks making an appearance. But he hated the man he had turned into when she died; despising his cowardice for settling for the first woman he felt a flicker of attachment towards. He felt complete abhorrence for the woman who had captured his bruised and blistered soul, consuming his grief as if an addictive scent to inhale and bathe in at her will. He detested the almost cold and ordinary couple he had willingly become a part of, envying the sweet caresses and tender words other couples shared in restaurants or in the park for example. But what made it worse was the fact he knew that these couples had nothing of what he and Sydney had shared over the time they were lovers and even before. He hated knowing if things at been different these amateur lovebirds would be envious of them- of what they shared. He and Lauren simply walked side by side; hands clasped through encouraged affection and obligated attachment.
Before he new of Sydney's real status as an alive and operational double he simply thought he'd grow into the role of a doting partner, learning to love her as a husband loves a wife, and not as a man in pain loves his medication. Eventually he grew to love Lauren; perhaps because of who she was, or pretended to be rather, or maybe it was because of the way he made her feel and on the ordinary life they ambled through together. He was normal now. He had a 9 to 5 job, a nice home, a wide-screen t.v, a lazy but adorably loyal dog. A seemingly pleasant wife. What else could a guy want? What normal guy honestly craved a job that varied everyday, where adrenaline was as familiar to him as oxygen. What kind of man wanted to serve his country and work with the most intelligent people the nation had to offer? Which man honestly wanted to fall in love with his breath-taking asset, willingly placing her life before his without a second thought?
He did. Michael Vaughn did. That was who he was. Well, who he had been.
Vaughn was yanked from his thoughts at the distant sound of a second person approaching the cage. He stepped down from the crate reaching for a gun that wasn't there. The footfalls were too heavy for the person he remembered to walk the path that was currently being emulated, and his heart seemed to jump to his throat as his pulse quickened. His body fizzed with anticipation and fear as a familiar substance coursed through him, hurling him into fight or flight. He clenched and relaxed his hands a few times, subconsciously preparing his muscles for confrontation. His arms were placed anxiously by his side, stiffened yet expertly and innately prepared. Thoughts poured through his mind at whom it could be- a process of elimination occurring in his busy mind within milliseconds. He knew through intuition it was not Sydney, but no one else really knew how to get the their warehouse; the address being shown to them in exclusive debriefs involving only the two of them on separate occasions. His body relaxed slightly as his quick mind worked out who it was- who it could only really be. There was quiet for a second
"Jack" he stated coolly with a nod as he watched the agent approach the metallic enclosure. He casually wiped his palms against his trousers, wishing the clammy feeling to disappear.
"Michael" the older man greeted in his usual manner as he passed through the chain-linked fence. He watched as Vaughn sat back upon the crate behind him. There was silence for a few painful seconds as Jack looked at his murky surroundings "I love what you've done with the place" he deadpanned in the way Jack only could. Vaughn eyed him with placid curiosity speaking what was on his mind without hesitation.
"What are you doing here Jack?"
There was a pause while Agent Bristow controlled and categorised the list of things he needed to say to the man before him.
"It has come to my understanding that you and my daughter have rekindled the relationship she and you shared before her abduction." Vaughn remained silent, his stillness prompting Jack to continue. "It has also come to my attention that you and her have recently had a...disagreement resulting in your own brief disappearance" he added wryly
"How did you-"
"I have to hand it to Mr Weiss. He truly is a good friend, who cares for both you and my daughter a great deal. I hope his friendship and generosity will not and has not been previously overlooked"
Vaughn broke their steady eye contact and looked at the hands that lay intertwined in his lap. He pursed his lips and nodded slightly
"How did you find me?" he asked in an almost saddened tone as the seconds crawled by
"Well Agent Vaughn, it appears that not only do you and Sydney to have a clearly very cherished relationship, you apparently also have an extremely predictable one. Where else is there to look than place you fell in love with each other?" he said with a hint humour in his voice.
"Look Jack-"
"Vaughn I don't know what has been said between you and my daughter but after everything you have been through- that Weiss and I have been through, do you honestly believe we are going to just sit here and watch you throw it all away in an act of foolish stubbornness?" He asked, hints of fire underneath his words
"Hey wait a minute you have no idea what-"
"I don't need to know what you fought about Vaughn I just need to know that are not going to destroy my daughter again by terminating the only thing in her life she lives for! Now I don't know how serious an argument it was or where you have been these past few hours, all I do need to know is that you are not going to break her heart."
"Do you honestly think I'd be that stupid?" Vaughn challenged standing up
"You've done it once. Who's to say you won't do it again?" Jack stated knowing he was pushing the younger man's buttons
"Oh don't do this Jack," he chastised, "don't try to aggravate me as if you know me"
"I know you better than you think"
"You know nothing!" Vaughn shouted. He stepped towards his as he continued, "As far as you are concerned I'm the man who is stealing your daughter and I will never be good enough to her! However much I'll try I will never be the right man to you." He placed his fists to his eyes briefly as he turned back towards the crates. He gently threw his arms down as he carried on speaking. His tone was full of exasperation "You saw how I was after she died" he turned to face him "how could you possibly think I'd willingly break her heart again?" He ran his hand down his face feeling the stubble under his fingers. He stepped up to Jack exhaling before he began. He was calmer now "Do you remember the first time we met? After you pulled on a gun on me" he stated wryly "You said I was young and that I lacked wisdom. You undermined me- put me down because you feared my relationship with Sydney and felt threatened by the closeness you knew we already shared. You accused me of- if I remember correctly- of trying to impress your daughter. Do you remember?"
"Yes, I remember" He said coolly. Of course he remembered. When he met the young agent he had been secretly impressed that he had taken the initiative to call a meet- that had cleared the conference through Devlin. Jack was privately thankful that his daughter's life was in the control of a man who didn't view her just as an asset, but as a person, showing a fear for her well being above the operation at hand. He remembered showing a hint of a smile as he terminated the meeting, Vaughn managing to catch him out offering an intelligent and bold observation. He listened with almost pride as Vaughn continued to speak over his own private thoughts
"After that all I ever wanted from you was your approval- to earn your respect." he paused for a second watching Jack drink in his words "I cannot believe how desperate I was for you to accept me as an agent and more importantly as the man who was in love with your daughter. But now," he said his tone turning more confrontational "if you actually believe I give a rat's ass about what you think of me you're even more pathetic than I thought. I am not going to stand here and ask you to forgive me for marrying Lauren of for hurting Sydney so many times. I mean, I need to forgive over myself without being concerned about whether I have your exoneration. But what I will say to you is that one day, I intend on asking Sydney to marry me and I'm going to do that regardless of whether I get your approval or not." There was silence for a moment
"I wouldn't expect anything less of you Michael"
Vaughn was taken aback by both the statement and the gently smile Jack showed. He cocked his head slightly- was he playing him? Jack was amused by the confused expression that had quickly replaced the one of defiance. Truth is, he couldn't think of a more appropriate match for his daughter, respecting the young man before more than he would ever like to suggest. It wasn't until he saw Vaughn grieving he realised how truly in love he had been with his daughter, and it wasn't until the devastation Sydney had shown after her return that he knew of its avid reciprocation. Michael Vaughn was a courageous, loyal and extremely intelligent man, and at this moment he had never been prouder of him and his obstinate defiance. He knew in his heart how proud his father would have been of the man Michael Vaughn had finally become. He clarified his previous statement hoping Vaughn would pick up on the subtext on his words- it was the most open about he was going to be about his opinions
"Agent Vaughn, I think I knew you were in love with my daughter before you did. I accepted the fact you were going to be my son-in-law a long time ago." He saw a smile tug at the corner of Vaughn's mouth as he understood. He didn't need to fight for Jack Bristow's approval- he already had it. Vaughn nodded softly raising his chin as a sign of strength and determination"Now I believe you need to go home to my daughter" Jack stated steppig back slightly giving Vaughn his cue to leave
"I think you're right" he replied with a subtle smile that both of them shared
"Agent Vaughn, I am always right"
Vaughn grabbed his jacket from the crate stepping pass the only father figure in his life. Not wanting the conversation to end of such an uncharacteristically high note, Jack spoke as Vaughn stepped out into the corridor watching him to turn around at the sound of his name
"Oh and Vaughn. Just for the record, I still don't think you have much of a spine"
Vaughn saw the smile had now gone from Jacks face. His too had disappeared as he terminated what would be their most open conversation in a long time
"I wouldn't expect anything less of you Jack"
And with that he was gone.
Next up: fluff. Thanks for reading!