Title: Barrier of the Found

author: Elise

G rated

Do not own numb3rs

FOURTH in the Barrier series... and still going...

THANK YOU TO ALL THE REVIEWERS! I LOOOOVE YOU!

IV.

Don scanned the streets from his SUV, cursing the gridlock. With the knowledge of Charlie's bike route, Don followed the busy streets towards the park, the coffee shop and the cemetary. Alan's phone call had been shocking to say in the least. Fortunately, Don was on his last report when he recieved the call. Apparently, Charlie was depressed and had question Alan on some pecular things. don thought back to when he found Charlie in his office, curled up in what could only be described as despair. Don had thought that their talk had smoothed things out. He thought that Charlie was feeling better. Don hit his steering wheel in frustration. He was wrong, and now Charlie was suffering because of it. He knew that Charlie resented his mental abilities as much as Don had in his childhood. So far, there wasn't a single sign of his lone biker.

After the next turn, Don pulled off onto a side street. He mumbled to himself, as if Charlie would appear when he muttered, "Come on Charlie, where are you?"

Driving the back route to the park, his first stop, Don rubbed his forehead. According to Alan, Charlie had spent the entire day in either his room, or the basement. He was thin, depressed, sleep deprived, and starting questioning changing things. Don wouldn't have left work if it weren't for Charlie's declaration that he was moving out. Charlie loved his house. He had put up such a fuss when Alan had placed it up for sale. He had worried that Alan was rejecting him. Don's eyes flashed as he pulled up to the park. Charlie's bike was disgarded by the side fo the road. Don pulled over and placed the bike in his trunk. Walking into the park, Don went through a million things he could say. He promised David that he'd take a few days off to spend with Charlie.

Sitting by the pond, Don had found Charlie. He was sitting, throwing stones. Don walked up to him and said softly, so as not to startle him, "Hey buddy..."

Charlie looked up, eyes wide and slightly unfocused. Their sadness were so evident, it drilled holes in Don's heart. "Hi." Charlie croaked out.

Don sat down beside him, looking at the water. "Dad said you were moving out?"

Charlie nodded, "Yeah, I am. Time to start new."

"Do you not like your life as it is?"

Charlie shrugged, "I used to."

Charlie looked down, tucking his knees up, a recently common gesture. He thought back to all the events, all the emotions. He knew that eventually, he would stop being depressed, but for now it looked like it would never end. Charlie was doubting if he'd ever feel better. Don cleared his throat, "Come on Charlie, You can talk to me."

Charlie looked up, "I'm sorry, what?"

Don smiled, his eyes crinkling in sadness, "Hey, I was just asking what changed."

Charlie shrugged, "Do you... do you think there's a reason for everything? If there is, then why do we change things? Isn't it fate? We can't change fate."

"Charlie, you don't believe in fate." Don said, "You believe in laws, and math, and-"

At the word 'math', Charlie tensed up. Don took note and continued, "You use math for everything."

Charlie shook his head, "Why do I have to? I didn't ask to be like this."

"Charlie, it's not wrong to be like you are. I told you the other day that you weren't a freak, or any of the other names you use to degrade yourself."

"Don, I just... I can't feel happy. Its as if there are these range of emotions that I am just not programmed to feel. Love, happiness.." Charlie trailed off.

Don shook his head, "Why do you think you're barred from emotions like those? Charlie, I know we all have our down days, but you're human just like everyone else. You can achieve anything."

"Don, I can't stop thinking that there are unchangeable things wrong with me. I tried to stop the math, I did. I thought of all different ways to change my brain chemistry, different surgeries. I mean, I even thought of ways to dull it down. All of them... could kill me. I don't want to die, I just want..." Charlie paused again, painfully aware that he had no idea what he wanted.

Don pushed the gravel around with his foot, "But I don't want you to change. I like how you are. Charlie, I know you can get through this. As much as I want you to get your own place, I think you should stay with Dad. You need to be around people who love you for you."

"He loves me because he has to." Charlie whispered.

"You know that isn't true." Don said, "Come on Charlie..."

Charlie percieved Don's comment as patronizing. He sighed and rubbed his face,

"You know, just let me get this apartment and make these changes. I've been really overworked and I see how Dad wishes I would just grow up. Well, growing up means outgrowing certain things. I just have to learn to be like everyone else. Maybe get a job elsewhere..."

"Charlie, I'm not going to leave you alone. I moved back to LA to be with you and Dad. I came back because... well I want to be a part of your life. You're much cooler than I thought you were."

"You thought I was uncool because of this... detestable gift." Charlie tapped his forehead and then proceeded to wring his hands out.

"Charlie, I know you're not feeling very well right now, but, I know you'll get through it. You're resilient."

Charlie scoffed, "You don't know that."

Don raised an eyebrow, "I don't? Charlie, High school alone taught you how to survive. I saw how they treated you, and let me tell you something, I hated it. I saw how you chose to resolve conflicts, instead of starting them, like I did. You've dealt with negative people your entire life, and you STILL want to help people. The FBI, you look at those horrible pictures and you work harder. You save lives. Charlie... you bounce back and help people. You're better than half the world out there."

Charlie sat and listened to his older brother's lecture. Despite the words his mind was telling him how horrible he was. Charlie put his head in his hands, "Don... stop."

Don put his hand on Charlie's shoulder, "No, I won't. I came to LA for mom, I am staying for you."

Charlie looked at his brother, noting the worry in Don's face, the concern in his voice. "Don... is that true?"

"Yes, Charlie, It is." Don said, "Come on, lets go back to the house. We'll all go out to dinner. We can talk this out."

Charlie took a deep breath and stood up, "Ok. Ok, I'll try it out. Maybe I'll begin to feel better, right?"

"Right, Right Charlie." Don stood up and draped an arm around him. "Hey, you know... I realize that I don't know you as well as I should, and I want to. I love you, Charlie. I'm sorry that I made it seem otherwise."

Charlie leaned into Don and smiled, geniunely, "Thanks. For finding me, and talking. I mean... I don't know whats going to happen. I'm kinda afraid to go back to be honest. I'm sorry... i guess I'm stressed or something..."

"You don't have to make excuses. You can feel whatever you want to, I just wish next time, come to me. You can talk to me."

The two began to walk back to the car, Charlie's shoulders still hunched and hands shoved in his pockets. Don cleared his throat and said, "Hey, I've got a few days off coming up and I was wondering if you wanted to take a vacation with me. You and me. Get out of this place."

Charlie looked up, slightly shocked at the proposal, "You never take days off..."

"I will for you Charlie. What do you say?"

Charlie's grin seemed to reach his ears, "Yeah, I think I'd like that."