CHAPTER 2- Cheetos and Twinkies
Hawkeye never once released Mustang from her clutches the whole way to the train station. Fury and Farman had left them briefly in order to pack a bag for Mustang, gather everyone's bags and collect "supplies".
"Sit." She said firmly to Mustang, in a voice similar to the one she used with Black Hayate, pointing to the bench next to a pay phone. Mustang opened his mouth to protest at the ridiculousness of her ordering him around, when Hawkeye shot a glare at him. "Sit." She said, coldly. Mustang sat. Havoc sat a few feet away from Mustang on the same bench, fighting the urge to laugh at the intimidating Flame Alchemist being tamed by a woman. Hawkeye walked over to the pay phone and searched her pockets for change.
After a lengthy silence, Havoc couldn't hold it in any longer and snickered. Mustang jumped to his feet, put his fingers together and prepared to snap them- "Sit. Now." Hawkeye said, arms folded, murder in her eyes.
He sat and muttered under his breathe, "He started it."
Hawkeye rolled her eyes and returned to the pay phone. She entered the number to the Central district and then to the Führer's office. She spoke briefly to his secretary, who transferred her directly to King Bradley.
"Yes?" He said.
By habit, Hawkeye stood at attention, her back ram-rod straight, "Sir, this is First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye reporting."
"Ah, yes. Go on."
"I have called to request an extended vacation for Brigadier General Roy Mustang, as well as for myself and several other subordinates of the Brigadier Generals."
There was a long pause on the line, then "Very well. I really don't have any other option but to accept. Many of those under the Mustang haven't taken any kind of vacation in years. You all deserve a nice long break. I'll expect a report when you come back."
Hawkeye almost sighed with relief, "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
"Good day, First Lieutenant." He said, sounding as jovial as usual, then hung up.
Hawkeye hung up the phone softly, and this time she did sigh. They were extremely lucky that the Führer hadn't questioned the matter further. It would not reflect well to admit that Mustang was slipping into a fit of depression. She glanced over to where Roy sat, pouting like a child while Havoc grinned like a fool. How fitting. But at least so far the plan was working, and Roy was distracted from dark thoughts.
Roy stood and before Riza could say a word, he said, "I'm just going to get a snack. I haven't eatten all day." When Riza gave him suspcious eyes he put his palms in the air, "I won't run away!" When she continued to look unconvinced he said, "C'mon, please?" And gave her that dashing play boy grin of his. She sighed and relented, gesturing for him to go. He made his way to a vending machine on the corner, looking triumphant.
She shook her head, in wonder at how all he had to do was grin and she gave in, just like that. She'd have to watch out for that later. A snack was one thing, but he might pull that on her later over more crucial matters. She shook her head, trying to regain her concentration. She focused on the next step in the plan. As she walked past Havoc, she smacked him on the top of the head.
"Oww! Hey, Riza, what was that for?" He whined, jumping to his feet and rubbing his head.
She spoke to the attendent in the ticket booth and bought five tickets. She was counting out the total and didn't even bother to glance at him as she answered, "You're being a brat and as soon as we all get to our destination I plan on helping him relieve himself of some aggression. If you're not careful, I'll let him take out that aggression on you."
Havoc gulped and remembered that Roy still had his pyrotex gloves, "Maybe we should conficate those gloves of his. You know, to be safe."
"And if we're confronted by an enemy? What will Roy do then? Strip naked and do the macarena? Use what little brain power you have left, Havoc, and don't provoke him further."
Havoc groaned and plopped back down onto the seat, trying to think up ways to suck up to Mustang on the train ride to their destination.
"Aaaagh!" Came the muffled cry of Roy from the direction of the vending machine. As quick as lightening, Riza had both pistols drawn with the safety's off. "Roy!" She yelled running in the direction Roy had gone, her heart racing. She skidded to a halt when she saw possiblily the most disturbing sight of her entire life. She stared slack-jawed, while Havoc ran up behind her, his own weapon drawn and ready.
"CONGRATULATIONS, ROY MUSTANG!" Said the burly, gentle giant named Alex Armstrong, with great enthusiasm as he bear hugged Roy. Roy was turning several interesting shades of red and blue. Havoc stared, dumb-founded and un-moving. Riza's arms which seconds before had held both pistols at the ready, hung limply at her sides.
"Can't…. breathe." He grunted and attempted to squirm his way out his Armstrong's grasp.
"Today is a day of great joy and celebration!" He continued, oblvious to Roy's plight, "From this day forth, you will make even greater leaps and bounds toward creating a world of peace and serenity! I consider it the greatest honor of my life to know and work under you, Brigadier General Roy Mustang!" Tears streamed down the nearly bald man's face.
Roy turned his hed slowly toward Riza and Jean, "Kill…me." Armstrong released Roy to take out a cloth hankerchief to drab away tears and blow his nose. Roy fell to the ground with thud. He lay there, taking deep breathes, trying to regrow the brain cells lost during his time without oxygen.
Riza shook her head weakily and holstered her pistols. Havoc took one slow step backwards, in case the gentle giant decided to take similar actions against him. Alex put away his hankerchief and sighed deeply, "Well I must be off. I only stopped to give my reguards to the Brigadier General."
Roy had just regained his footing when Alex gave him a hearty slap on the back, causing him to fall face first into the pavement. Alex looked down in surprise, "Brigadier General, you really should watch where you're going. Such falls could harm you." He lifted up Roy with one hand by the scuff of his collar and brushed the dirt from his uniform. "Good bye friends!" He said and strode off, leaving the three of them looking dazed.
"I think part of my soul just died." Havoc said, dully, staring in the direction Alex had gone.
Roy ignored him and went over to the vending machine and picked up the snacks, he'd drop. He looked down at the snacks in his hand then over at Riza and frowned, recalling something. "Was it you who yelled my name a minute ago?"
Riza felt her ears get hot, "No. You must have imagined it, Sir."
"Oh." He said, frowning at his snacks as if they had been the ones to yell his name. Riza looked at Havoc briefly and saw that he was looking back, with a quizzical look in his eyes. After a moment he diverted his attention to Roy, deciding to forget that he knew the answer to Roy's question.
"What'd you get?" Havoc asked, both trying to distract Roy and weedle his way into getting Roy to give him some.
"Twinkies and cheetos." He said, simply, opening the twinkie bag and eatting half of one in a single bite.
(A/N: How is it? Still good? I wanted it to get lighter before it gets dark again. But your input would help me figure out which direction you'd like me to take it from here.
Did you notice I switched to first names? I figure after you've seen a grown man pouting like a four-year-old, all formalities fly out the door. Except for Havoc. For some reason I like his last name more than his first. Perhaps because it's so apropos.
I know vending machines, cheetos and twinkies probably don't exist in the FMA world, but I think twinkies are the funkiest food on earth and I just start cracking up when I think about Roy actually eating one.
Roy: So you made me eat some kind of "funky" pastery, a by product of some third world countries children laborers, because you thought it would be funny? -pulls on pyrotex gloves slowly, that vein in his forehead sticking out-
Me: Now, Roy, don't do something you'll regret later -pokes at vein-
Roy: Who said I would regret it later?
Me: Eep! -runs away, ziggazing-
Roy: Hold still! I can't fry you when you do that!
-Hours later, after much carnage and a serveral red alerts across the country side, Roy has been hog tied- Sorry for the delay. Don't you hate it when characters get lose and run amok in your head? -gags Roy and sits on top of him-. Please allow me to continue. I would like to thank some people for reviewing. It means a lot to me!
-Swordmaster Nienna Elensar- Hey, Nienna! Thanks for reviewing! I'll return the favor.
-Flamara Cat Eyes- Thank you so much! And I'd be happy to comply with your request… but I don't know what Royai is 3. Please enlighten me and I'll do my best!
-saffiremoon21- I'm glad you liked it. I think he deserved it. I mean, he has no business getting depressed when he has so many people depending on him! Thank you for reviewing, ..
-Apparition7- You flatter me! That's really sweet of you to say so. I hope you like chapter two too! Thank you so much for reviewing.
-Camille- Heh, I'm not very subtle but hey, what ever works, right? Thanks for reviewing!
Sorry for rambling!)