A/N: yes, i, sawyerzelda, have decided 2 write a christmas story. i can barely believe it. but alas, it IS my favorite holiday, so i must write a story about it! now--we all know link and zelda are elves. but SANTA'S ELVES?! gasp read on, everyone! AND HAVE A MEEEEEERRRRRY CHRISTMAS!!! (even if its not christmas yet, i want u 2 have a merry one eventually! and a white one at that) and i'm so sry that i keep on coming out w/ all these stories!! i should stop, but i just CAN'T!!!

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"Hmmm," sighed Link, scratching his chin and observing a small model train. "Hmmmm...."

Zelda rolled her eyes as she waited for Link to finish his inspection of her toy. She sighed impatiently as he rolled the train's small wheels with his index finger. Making more mutters, he wrote something down on the paper on his clipboard.

"No," he finally said.

"NO?!" Zelda cried out. "How could you possibly refuse THIS one?!"

"Well, mainly it's the paint job," Link pointed out. "Purple and pink polka dots look terrible together--and it doesn't go with your horizontally striped red-and-pink caboose, either."

"Oh, come on, Link!" Zelda barked. "What difference is that going to make to some ignorant three year old? WHO, IF I MAY REMIND YOU, IS COLOR BLIND!!!"

"Little Billy may be color blind, but the rest of the house hold isn't," Link told her. "Besides, the conductor's door doesn't open. It's supposed to. You used too much glue."

"Again?" Zelda asked, crestfallen.

"Again."

She sighed and picked up the train. "I guess trains just aren't my thing."

"Nope," Link said. "Train's are a man's work. Why don't you go back to making those 'mama' dolls?"

Zelda stared icily at him over her shoulder. "You mean my 'mama' dolls that said 'beware the pumpkin' when you pulled the string instead of 'mama'? And besides, aren't you the one who said my last futile attempt at a doll ended up looking like .... what's his name--that Michael Jackson person?"

Link thought for a moment. "Oh yeah, I did say that. Didn't I?" Zelda nodded, and he continued to think. "Perhaps you could go to making computers."

"Too technical."

"Um... how about toy boats?"

"What makes you think I can do a boat if I can't make a train?"

"Fair question." Link began to pace the room; Zelda watching him impatiently. Then he snapped his fingers. "I know! Even if you have color coordination problems, you've always been the artistic type, right?"

"Yeah..." Zelda prompted him.

"Then why don't you sketch kite designs?"

"Hm. Design kites..." Zelda thought aloud. "Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt."

"Great! Why don't you head on over to the department and get signed up?"

As Zelda turned to leave, she hesitated at the doorway. "I just have one question for you, Link."

"Yeah?"

"How are you at making trains?"

Link frowned. "Um.... I'm pretty good at it, I guess. Yeah, not bad. At least, I can make 'em better than you can," he assured her.

"Oh really?" she asked, seeing his uncomfortable manner as a dead giveaway. "Can I see one of them?"

Link stared at her, and she smirked. "Yeah, hold on a second," he finally said. He opened a cabinet and began rummaging around. "Um, yeah, it's right around here somewhere," he mumbled, as Zelda laughed inwardly. He grabbed a random train from a shelf and held it out. "There, ya see?"

Zelda took the train, and shook her head as she looked at it. "Sorry, Link, you struck out. This is Mido's train."

"It is not!!" Link huffed angrily.

"Yes, it is," Zelda argued back. "It has his trademark giraffe sticking its head out of the caboose. Ya idiot." She put down the train and glared at him. "I can't believe that you'd lie to me about something like this. It's against the rules to lie."

"I CAN make trains!!" Link shouted in frustration.

"No you can't!" Zelda shouted back. "The only reason you're head elf of this department is because you can't do anything! Your major in school was bossing everyone else around!!"

"COME ON, DON'T BE STUPID!!" Link yelled.

"BUDDY, I'M NOT STUPID!" Zelda retorted. "BECAUSE IF I WAS, I WOULDN'T HAVE GRADUATED AT THE TOP OF MY CLASS TWO YEARS EARLY!!!"

"YEAH, WELL I DON'T THINK YOU'RE SO--"

"Okay, you two," came a voice from the door.

Link and Zelda turned to face where the voice was coming from, and they both blanched. "Oh, hi, Santa," Link said nervously.

The man in red stalked towards the two of them, crossing his arms. "You two have been fighting again!" he accused.

"Why Mr. Kringle, what ever makes you say that?" Zelda asked, batting her eyelashes at him.

"Don't you act innocent with me, Missy!" Santa roared. "They can hear you all the way in the Planes, Trains, and Automobiles department!!"

Link and Zelda glanced at each other, neither wanting to say to the man in charge that they were IN the Planes, Trains and Automobiles department.

"Hey!! Look at me when I'm talking to you!!" Santa said to them. "I am Santa Claus, and it is my job to spread joy and good cheer. How am I supposed to do that with you two bickering all the time?! You should be FIRED for disobedience to the rules of Christmas!!"

"Santa, I can't help it if women are so edgy," Link pointed out. "Zelda's a right pain in the--"

"Quit your whining, buster!!" Zelda snapped.

"Both of you, ENOUGH!" Santa said. "I'm going to give you one more chance! And if you fail at it, Link, you will be replaced by Little Bunny Fufu!! And that is FINAL!!!" And with that, the fat old guy marched out of the room.

"How complimentary," Zelda said sarcastically. "You must have the I.Q. of a rabbit if Fufu's going to be replacing you."

"Watch your tongue, Zelda," Link said harshly. "If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't have even gotten mad at us in the first place!!"

"I NEVER START THESE FIGHTS, I ONLY FINISH THEM!!" Zelda screamed.

"OH, SO NOW IT'S MY FAULT?!" Link yelled.

"Oi, there they go again," sighed Malon, from the Arts & Crafts department. "Will they ever cease?"

"If I was Santa, I would send those two to Ganondorf at Halloweentown to teach 'em a lesson," Saria remarked, sewing together a Peter Pan costume.

"Brr, I think that'd be too harsh," Malon said, shivering. "Where's Halloweentown, anyway? I forgot."

"I think it's in Transylvania," Saria answered.

"Are you kidding?" Malon asked. "Ganondorf isn't stupid, and he wouldn't put a candy factory in Transylvania."

"Oh yeah, it's in Siberia," Saria said.

"That makes more sense."

-----------Later That Night---------------

Zelda collapsed onto her silk sheets. It had been another long day--she'd moved to the design department, and had had to spend her whole afternoon (and most of the evening) filling out sheets and requirement papers.

'Curse that Link!!' she thought to herself. 'I swear, I'll break down completely if he ever does something like that ever again!!'

"Zeldaaaaaaa, are you awake?" asked Malon, who happened to be her roommate.

"No," Zelda grumbled.

"Listen, if you're upset about Link, don't be," Malon said.

"What d'you mean?" Zelda asked, sitting up. "How can I help being upset? The man's a complete--"

"Dream," Saria (another roommate) sighed, looking wistfully up at the ceiling.

"Surely you must be joking," Zelda snorted.

"Come on, Zelda," Malon said with an impish grin. "Even if Link's rude to you, you have to admit he's the cutest guy to ever work up here."

"He is so NOT," Zelda grunted, crossing her arms.

Malon and Saria looked at each other, then smiled. "She likes him," they said in unison.

"Wh--I DO NOT!" Zelda insisted with annoyance. "How could I like a guy as--as annoying, rude, and quick-tempered as Link?!"

"Zelda, you're falling for the oldest trick in the book!" Malon laughed. "You're making yourself so obvious."

Zelda pursed her lips together and turned deep red. "Oh, FINE! He's sort of cute. Okay, cute. All right, he's really REALLY cute and if I didn't think he was such a detestable elf I'd have snatched him up by now there are you happy, Malon?!"

"Quite," Malon said, grinning.

"Oh, holy Christmas lights, I can't believe I just admitted that," Zelda pouted, pulling the covers way over her head. "Just--neither of you ever talk to me ever again!!"

--------Meanwhile, In A Room Down The Hall---------------

'Man, why is it always the cute ones who have to be so demanding?!' Link thought to himself. 'If she didn't insist on being so proud all the time, I would have asked her out by now. Girls! Sheesh!'

"Thinking again?" asked Mido.

"Yes," Link said.

"What about?"

"Nothing," Link answered rather quickly

"Zelda?"

"Yes. NO!" Link cursed inwardly as Mido laughed.

"Man, I can read you like a book," his roommate chuckled. "What is it that makes you guys fight so much anyway?"

"NONE of your business," Link insisted.

"Uh-huh....I'll bet there are some sparks flying when you two have your little spars, aren't there?" Mido asked, winking.

"Hey, just--what are you insinuating?!" Link demanded.

"You know, I can't stand the way girls think you're so cute," Mido said, picking at something under his fingernail. "You are so hard-boiled and mean. I think that's why Zelda's so attracted to you, perhaps--because from what I hear, that's what she is like as well."

"Oh yeah?" Link asked, snatching Mido's diary off of a nightstand and opening it up to the last page. His eyes widened. "And yet you still refer to her as a 'hot sexy babe that gives ..... Nicole Kidman a run for her money'? Who in the name of Kris Kringle is this Nicole Kidman?"

"Hey, man, don't use Santa's name in vain," Mido said seriously. "And Kidman is someone from America who works as, I think, an actress."

"And you know this how?" Link asked.

"I'm from the Motion Pictures department, remember?" Mido answered. "I take film reels and make them into tapes. I watch them from time to time."

"I see..." Link said, who had never taken the time to watch a movie before. He tossed Mido his journal back. "Well, Zelda may be .... good-looking, but she's no picnic and is sure a pain in the rear."

"Okay," Mido said, grinning and shutting of the light. "G'night."

"Night."

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