A/N: woot, woot! go christmas! only 12 days away! shoot, that means I will not be done in time! that had been my original plan. '

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Mido snickered as Malon and Zelda walked towards them. "Hey, Zel!" he called out. "Link says that--"

"--you take way too much time shopping for petty things like clothes," Link interrupted, giving Mido's arm a hard punch.

Frowning, Mido rubbed the spot Link had hit. "Well, excuse me," he muttered.

"Forgive us if we were passionate about fitting in around here," Zelda said. "I don't want to walk around with people thinking we're total weirdos."

"Oh NO!" Malon suddenly gasped.

"What is it?" Link and Zelda asked in unison.

"Mido, they're both wearing leather!" Malon cried. Her hands flew to her face in terror. "Oh, the horror!"

"What's the matter with us both wearing leather?" Link asked. "Is it against the law or something?"

"Geez, of course not," Mido sighed. "You two will just look funny to people if you walk around in the same material. It will look stupid."

"You change," Zelda and Link said to each other at the same time.

"Leather looks way better on guys than it does on women," Link said. "Besides, it's cold outside. I need a jacket."

"Fine," Zelda said, sticking her tongue out at Link. She dug into her clothes bag. "Because I spent 'such a long time' shopping, I was prepared and I have more than one jacket to put on." She slid the leather one off, and took a crimson red one out of a bag. Zelda yanked off the price tag, and put it on. "Voila."

"Hm, not too shabby," Mido said, nodding. "In fact, if you ask me, red suits you better than black."

"Red makes me feel all Christmas-y inside!" Zelda said happily, twirling around in a small circle. "So I'm one up on you, Link."

Before another argument could start, Malon stepped between Link and Zelda. "Ha ha, well, that was nice. Why don't mosey over to the food court and get something to eat, hmmmmmm?"

"Er, okay," Zelda said, pulling her elbow out of Malon's tight grip.

The four of them walked past a store emitting very annoyingly loud music. Zelda paused in front of it briefly. "Abercrombie?" she asked. "Isn't that where we just came from, Malon?"

"No, dear," Malon said, looking at the store in disgust. "We came from Frabercrombie. Big difference."

"Um...oh." Suddenly Zelda's eyes widened in embarrassment. "Oh my Kringle! Malon! EWWWWW! Look, there's a guy in there without a shirt on!!"

(yes, life in the North Pole is very sheltered).

"A pedophile!" gasped Link. "He's posing for a picture with those little girls! How disgusting! How degrading!"

"That is rather disturbing, isn't it?" Mido asked. "I mean, knowing that I'd be much better at that job than that guy." Afer Malon gave him a withering look, he quickly added, "I mean, uh ... that store should be put out of business!"

"Ooh, look!" Malon suddenly gasped. "Camouflage pants! How awesome!"

Completely forgetting the conversation that had just taken place, Malon ran eagerly into Abercrombie.

"What--Malon!" Zelda called after her. "What's wrong with you?!"

"She's entered the store of evil!" Link cried in dismay. "Someone has to go in and rescue her!"

"I'll do it," Zelda sighed.

"Why?" Link countered suspiciously. "So you can have an excuse to go in there and pose with a hunky model?!"

"Link, stop being jealous," Zelda teased, before disappearing into the store. Once inside, she tried desperately to avert her eyes from the scandalous wall posters and find her friend. "Malon? May, where are you?"

"Zelda? You didn't need to come in after me," said the red-head. "I just wanted to buy these awesome pants."

"Malon! You are putting those pants down, and coming with me! Right! Now!"

Zelda grabbed her friend by the arm and started pulling her towards the exit.

"Dude, I can't leave without paying for these," Malon said.

"You're not buying them. You'd be a walking advertisement for this store and all it stands for!"

"Come on, it's just one pair of pants."

Releasing her hold on Malon, Zelda bent down and picked up a catologue that someone had dropped. She flipped through the pages, a clear look of disgust on her face. "Malon, look at this magazine! It's like... Playboy for shy people!"

"Playboy?" Malon asked. "What's that?"

"Well, what do you know?" Zelda sighed. "Something I know about America that you don't. It's this really nasty magazine, okay?"

"Then how come you know about it?"

"Don't you remember? Willy Smitherson got fired four months ago for having an 'inappropriate source of medium' in his room. Santa found it during a surprise inspection. Me, being on the inside of matters like these, found out what it w--"

Zelda stopped mid-word because she realized that Malon had snuck away from her and towards a cash register. The red head was already leaving the store by the time Zelda had caught up to her.

"You've got to stop preaching so much," Malon said.

"Ha."

"Hey, you guys want a picture?" the afore-mentioned scantily-clad male model asked Zelda and Malon.

"Excuuuuse me?" Zelda asked, raising an eyebrow. "What do you take me for?"

"Um...what?"

"Just because you happen to be unbelievably attractice does NOT mean that my pal and I will 'pose' with you for any dumb reason!" Malon barked, suddenly back on the offensive. "How dare you be so presumptuous! Why, I wouldn't take a picture with you if you paid me!"

"Why not?" the overly-shallow model dude asked, putting his fists to his hips.

"Because you are a walking, half-naked billboard who must have better things to do with his time," Zelda answered. "And if you ask me, I--"

"Look!" someone suddenly shouted. Zelda whipped around and saw a small man rush up to her with a measuring tape. "Tall! Blonde! Voluptous! She's perfect!"

"Hey, the dude's right," the model said to his photographer.

"I'm sorry?" Zelda asked, getting a little confused.

"How would you like to work for this company?" the man asked. "I'd offer to hire your friend, too, but she's got red hair."

"Is that a problem, pal?!" Malon asked, highly upset. "Heh! I wouldn't work for you if you were the last scum bag on Earth!"

Rolling her eyes, Zelda elbowed Malon. She pointed to the bag which held Malon's new pants. Growling, Malon threw the bag at the short dude, saying, "And you can take back these, too! May lightning strike me if I ever set foot in this store again!"

"And as for you," Zelda said, looking at the model guy with a dark expression, "Get a shirt, and a life!" With that, she put her hand on his dumb-founded face, and pushed him flat on his back on the floor. (A/N: picture what cary grant did to kate hepburn in the philadelphia story!! )

"Wow," the impressed Link said, once the four of them started walking again. "That was rather .... interesting."

"I didn't expect you to push him," Mido said to Zelda. "But it was a nice touch."

"I hope Claus doesn't mind," Zelda sighed. "But I mean, it was self-defense. The guy was harassing us."

"I'll make sure Kringle understands," Malon assured her, patting her arm. She grimaced. "Honestly! Not wanting to hire me, just because I don't have blonde hair!! .... not like I'd work for them, anyway."

--A Tad While Later--

"Well, this should be able to keep you guys for long enough," Malon decided, once they'd all gotten back to the apartment. "Didn't you have fun?"

"Not really," Link and Zelda muttered simultaneously.

"Oh. Well, that's too bad," Malon said flatly. "Our ride should be coming soon, so I guess that means Mido and I can leave you little love birds alone! Tee-hee!" Crickets chirped as the three of them stared at her. Malon's smile slowly faded. "What? Come on, it was a joke."

"Very amusing," Zelda said, flopping onto a couch. She exhaled deeply, putting a hand over her eyes. "Man, I'm beat."

"Me too," Link said, sitting down on a large chair.

"Hey you actually agreed on something!" Malon gasped. "You're both tired! Mido, enter this in the log!"

Mido obediently took out a journal and a pen, muttering as he wrote, "Actually .... agreed on ... something. Very nice for day one."

"You're keeping a log?" Zelda asked in disbelief.

"Orders from above," Mido said, shrugging. "Just try not to think about it."

"But that's so messed up!" Link protested.

"Hey, you argue with Santa if you want to," Malon snorted. "Mido and I, however, are staying on the safe side and playing it cool." She glanced at a clock on the wall. "Speaking of Santa, he should've sent those two reindeer by now."

"Then shouldn't you guys be going to ... where ever it you're meeting them?" Zelda asked.

"Hmph! Well someone's being rude!" Malon said, mocking offense. "They're landing on your fire escape."

"Our fire escape?!" Link cried. "And Santa wants us to fit in around here. I don't believe that crazy kook!"

"Dude, watch what you say," Mido warned. "Just because we aren't in the North Pole doesn't mean Kris Kringle isn't watching you. In fact, he probably is! Don't you know the song? 'He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake!'"

"...that's the stupidest song I've ever heard!" Zelda said. "Who wrote it?!"

"Mrs. Claus," Malon informed her. "Mido, you can't sing those kinds of songs around Link and Zelda. They don't know them."

"But the Mrs. wrote it," Mido said.

"I know, but if you'll recall, it was only released here in the states," Malon said.

Then came a clatter on the fire escape outside the window. All four elves walked over to it, and saw a pair of reinder. The animals' reins were attached to a small but comfortable-looking sleigh.

"Hey, it's Cupid and Dancer!" Mido said, opening up the window. "How nice!"

"Wait a minute, that's not Cupid," Malon said. "It's Prancer."

"No, it's Cupid," Mido argued.

"Santa only sends Cupid to pairs of elves that he wants to fall in love!" Malon retorted. "So that is clearly not..."

She paused mid-sentence, and both she and Mido turned to look at Link and Zelda.

"Don't look at us," Zelda said. "He sent the reindeer to you."

"It's Prancer," Mido decided.

"No, it's Cupid," Malon said, the trace of a smile apparent on her face.

Mido raised an eyebrow at her, then quickly stepped onto the fire escape and into the sleigh. He slid over as far to the edge as he could, distancing himself as far away from his companion as possible. Rolling her eyes, Malon walked onto the fire escape as well.

Link stuck his head out the window; he looked up and down. "Um, is it just me, or is our fire escape like five times as big as everyone else's?"

"You are right, Link, for the first time today," Zelda said, looking out the window as well. "It appears that--"

"MIDO! They agreed on something else!" Malon shouted with excitement. "Quick! Quick! The log man, the log!!"

Immediately Mido took out his log and pen, and began to jot down stuff again. "My, such progress in only one day!"

"W-what're you guys talkin' about?!" Link sputtered.

"Don't fall prey to their immature teasings, dear," Zelda growled. "All I'd like to know right now is why our fire escape is so freaking big!"

"It's obvious, hon," Malon sighed. "A sleigh with two reindeer couldn't possibly fit on this thing unless it was enlarged. Needless to say, Santa probably put some kind of wacko charm on it or something."

"Speaking of Santa, I think we'd best be going," Mido said. "I guess we'll be seeing you next week then, guys."

"Oh here, before I forget," Malon said, digging for something in her pocket. She pulled a fat pile of papers out from her jacket with a loud grunt. "Here." Malon gave the stack to Zelda, who was subsequently sent crashing to the floor with an "oof!"

"What the heck's this?" Link asked, standing idly by and allowing Zelda to help herself back up.

"Santa figured you guys could use a dictionary of American slang words," Malon answered. "So you guys can flip through that later tonight ... over some hot cocoa .... in front of a firepl--"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it," Link interrupted, frowning. "You two can be on your way now, thanks."

"Well!" Malon sniffed, getting into the sleigh. "How rude!"

"See you next week," Zelda said, waving until they were ought of sight. "That Mr. Claus never fails to astound me." She heaved the heavy dictionary into the apartment, and let it fall loudly onto the coffee table. "Phew!"

"Let's have a look at this thing," Link said, picking the book up with ease. "Hm.... well isn't this mighty interesting? I can't understand a thing, don't they have translations anywhere ...? Oh; here we go." He burst out laughing.

"What is it?" Zelda asked, closing the window. She walked over and sat down on the couch next to Link."

"Yo, yo, yo, ma homie," Link said, giving Zelda's shoulder a light punch. "What up, dog?" He consulted the book again. "Fo-shnizzle, yo. Snap (yo), my dad's trippin' because I didn't do ... no homework."

"Wow," Zelda laughed. "That sounds really..." She picked up the book and looked at a page. "...retarded. And wait ... isn't 'I didn't do no homework' a double negative?"

"You're right," Link said. "And yet the dad is still 'tripping' about it."

"This is hilarious," Zelda snorted. "Americans strange people."

"True dat!" Link said, reading another page from the book.

The two of them both fell into a fit of unstoppable laughter. Just as the moment was getting too sappy for me to personally stand, it ended. Zelda awkwardly stood up and announced that she was taking a long bath.

"I think I'll keep going through this book," Link said, an amused grin on his face.

"Okay."

--Back in The North Pole--

"Hello, Mr. Claus," Malon said, hopping out of the sleigh and saluting her boss.

"Sir," Mido said, getting out and saluting as well.

"Well, how did your visit go?" Santa asked, after setting the two of them at ease.

"Mmm...it could've been worse, I suppose," Malon said. "I mean, they weren't at each other's throats."

"At least...not the whole time," Mido said. "There were a couple few arguments along the way, but I mean it's not like we were surprised or anything."

"Well, just give them some time," Santa said, waving his hand. "It is, afterall, the first real day they've had."

"Yes," Mido agreed, nodding.

"Oh, we got a couple things down in the log," Malon said, taking the journal from Mido and opening it. "They both... Mido, what's this?"

Mido peered over her shoulder and laughed. "Oh. That's something I wrote at the foodcourt--you know, when you were in the bathroom and Link and Zelda were busy fighting over who got to finish your french fries."

Malon began laughing hysterically.

"What does it say?" Santa asked, a little annoyed at being left out.

"Mido wrote down that Link called Zelda hot," Malon said, wiping away a tear. "Oh, this is rich! RICH, I TELL YOU!!"

"What's frustrating is knowing that Zelda feels the same way," Mido said. "I wonder if we could trick her into admitting it ... oh, by the way, the other thing in the log is that they both agreed on something. Twice."

"Really! Well, that isn't half bad," Sant said merrily. "Good work, you two. I hope you enjoyed the day."

"Oh yes; quite," Malon assured him. "It's going to be even better as it goes on!" She snickered, rubbing her hands together. "I can't wait for those two to finally step up to the bat and admit everything. How sweet that'll be."

"That'll be the day, Malon," Mido sighed. "If things keep going like they are, Link and Zelda are going to remain in denial for the rest of their lives."

"But things aren't going to stay the same!" Malon said, as Mido walked off. "Hey, Santa ... is this Cupid you hitched up to the sleigh?"

"Uhhh, yup," Santa answered. He gave Malon a wink, and the red-head giggled and ran after Mido.

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A/N: fo-dizzle, link is all gangsta yo! And yes, Malon has a little thing for Mido. And now, I would like to thank the reviewers of the last chapter!

Devil Seifer: I'm glad you think this is awesome! Mw ha, ha, to you too!

Chris Halliwell: Do you really think it's good? Thanks, I do my best!

Hylian Princess: I find it awesome that you find this funny. If you want to know what happens next, you'd best keep reading!

Blah Girl: Nice name, by the way. I love you because you think my story's funny! That's the best thing an author like me can hear from a reviewer!

Tri: Your review was short, sweet, and to the point! Thanks sincerely for your capitalized proclamation of love!

Tori The Hawk Demon: Do you really think that was the best? I feel so appreciated, thank you oh so very much!!

BeccaHilarious "as usual"?? YAY I LOVE YOU! it's not often someone calls my stories hilarious, so I thank you so, so, SO much!

linkmaster27: Crazy good, eh? Cool! Thanks, dude! I'm glad to see you were glad I updated this.

The Sagittarius Sage: I know, picturing Link and Zelda in American outfits is kind of weird for some people at first. But I do it all the time! And yes, Link deserved to be tricked!! Now I must think of someway to have it happen to Zelda. heh heh!

Tessyboos: How can you justify telling me to update when you never do!??! Anyway, it's a pleasure to hear from you (as always) )

Tiny SweetHeart: Wow!! Thanks for that awesome review! I thought Mido and Malon made a rather interesting team as well. At first it was going to be Saria and Mido, but I thought it would be easier to make Malon as outlandish as she is.

LinksZelda: Astounding! You called my story astounding! Thanks, that's so nice of you. and I will absolutely keep writing, dude.

bionicle guy: gee, thanks! I'm blushing from this praise. I'm really happy that you find this funny & great. your review wasn't annoying at all!! (well, of course I didn't think so)

zelda's baby girl: Ahhh! Please don't hurt me, look! I updated!! I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. I do try.

If your name didn't make this list, it's because you didn't review the last chapter of this story! So that's a hint! Review now!!