A/N: Wow, it's been four months since I've updated! Craziness! This chapter is a little off-kilter (aren't they all…) so I hope it doesn't suck too bad! Malon and Mido will be in the next chapter!

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The day after the disastrous super-market incident (Link and Zelda had gotten rather distracted at a free sample stand), the two elves were sitting dully in their apartment.

"Look here," Link said, opening a closet they'd both neglected earlier. "What are all these boxes?"

Zelda took the top one off. "They're board games, of course."

"What d'you mean, of course?" Link asked. "How would I have known, I was never involved in the board game department!"

"Right," Zelda sighed. On top of a game of Clue she spotted a note, and reading it, said, "Hmm… it appears that Santa had somebody deliver these to us last night. 'So we can find a way to entertain ourselves all day without going outside.' Man, bummer."

"Um, yeah, especially since I think there has to be more than two of us to play a game," Link said, staring at the 4-6 player stickers on the boxes. "Is Santa off his rocker or something?"

"Hold up, here's one," Zelda said, picking up a small box. "Uno?"

"Uno?" Link repeated.

Zelda opened the box and a deck of colored cards fell out of the box. "…oops."

"Nice job," Link snorted, bending down to pick them up. Zelda smacked his head before he got to his feet again; Link chose to ignore this. "Hey, here are some instructions. You wanna try playing it?"

"Um…okay."

The two of them sat down at opposite ends of their kitchen table and Link unfolded the instructions. "What the…?"

"What is it?" Zelda asked curiously, trying to read the pamphlet from upside-down.

"These aren't in English," Link said. "Look at that, that's Spanish… and there's French … and that's Japanese or something. Unbelievable! You have to be trilingual just to find out how to play this stupid game!"

"Wait a sec, there's English," Zelda said, who had been staring at the back of the pamphlet for some time.

"Oh." Link turned it over and said awkwardly, "Thanks."

Zelda shrugged.

A short while later, when all the rules had been read and discussed, Link gave Zelda seven cards. He then turned over the first card in the pile. "Okay Zelda, you know the drill … a green or a zero."

"Ha, ha!" Zelda said triumphantly, putting down a green zero. "I matched the color AND the number! Do I get like double points for that or something?"

"Zelda, there aren't any points in this game, remember?" Link sighed.

"Oh yeah…"

The game was pretty dull until Zelda kept giving Link "Draw 2s" or Wild "Draw 4s". "Sorry," Zelda said, putting down yet another Draw 2. "There was no other card I could play, I swear! I had no more options!"

"Neither do I!" Link said, looking dumbfounded. "I have the whole deck in my hands! …wow, what happens now?"

"I dunno," said Zelda, who still had four cards. "I wonder if this has ever happened to anyone else in the Uno world before?"

"What does Uno mean, anyway?" Link asked.

"Good question."

There was silence for a moment. "What a dumb game," they both said at the same time. There was another awkward silence as they stared at each other—then both of them burst into laughter.

"Uh, maybe we should try playing something else," Zelda giggled. She put all the cards into a pile and placed them carefully back in the box. Walking over to the "game" closet, she said, "Apparently we weren't cut out for Uno."

"No."

Zelda came back a minute later carrying a rather larger box. "Here's something that ought to be interesting. You always liked those G.I. Joe dolls."

"They were action figures, not dolls," Link said, inspecting the box. "'Stratego'? What's this?"

"I don't know, something that has to do with… war," said Zelda, shivering as if war was some kind of curse word. "Let's try it out, huh?"

"Okay…"

The game started out peacefully enough, but we all know that anything connected with war ends with nothing but… well, war.

"LINK, you're cheating!"

"What—I am not!"

"Yes you are, I just saw you look!"

"Zelda, I did not steal a look at your side of the board!"

"You did too, you know exactly where my flag is!"

"I do not!"

"You do too! And you better watch it, pal, because I have several BOMBS awaiting your arrival, ha, ha, HA!"

"You don't scare me, or my general," Link scoffed, moving one of his pieces forward. "…captain."

"Scout," Zelda said, frowning.

"GOTCHA!" Link shouted victoriously. He grabbed Zelda's piece and threw it into the air with excitement. Then he caught it and calmly put it back in the box. "That's five of your little scouts I've caught, Zelda!"

"You'd better count your Colonels and see how many of them you have left, Link!" Zelda said tauntingly. "Ooh, ooh, that's right! NONE! Ha!"

They both jumped when the sound of a knock on their door suddenly sounded. Puzzled, they glanced at each other and then at the door. "I thought Malon and Mido weren't coming until tomorrow…?" Link said uncertainly.

"They're not," Zelda muttered, getting to her feet. She apprehensively put her hand on the doorknob.

"Don't answer it, you twit!" Link hissed. "It could be someone evil! It could be one of Ganon's spies!"

"Don't be a weirdo," Zelda said, using one of her new American vocabulary words. She opened the door and found a pair of extremely unfamiliar old people. "Um… hello …?"

"Hello!" said the old woman with a smiling face that suggested hearts and rainbows. "You've just moved in, haven't you?"

"Why uh, yes," Zelda said, smiling politely.

"We're your neighbors," said the man with a face that suggested something had crawled up his butt and died.

"That's right!" the elderly woman laughed. "I'm Ruth Tinkleman and this is my husband, George!"

"Oh, um, hello," Zelda said, her smile turning into the kind that any normal person would interpret as please- explain- what- you're- doing- here- or- kindly- leave. If Link and Zelda were ordinary American young people, they might have realized the humor in the last name Tinkleman.

"We were wondering if you'd like to come over for some tea and cake!" Ruth said, sounding as if this was a chance of a lifetime (she threw her arms up in excitement for that extra emphasis).

"Uh…"

"We'd love to," said Link, who had just come over to the doorway. Zelda jumped at the sudden sound of his voice and backed into him by mistake. She scowled up at him.

"Oh, is this your husband?" Ruth asked.

Zelda's mouth dropped. She seemed unable to speak and Link quickly said, "No, ma'am, noooo way."

"You're siblings, then?"

"No."

"Cousins?"

"No, ma'am," Zelda said. "We just live here together. Not relatives."

Ruth's eyes widened in old lady-like horror but her smile remained in place nonetheless. "Oh…well, how—how er, nice! …well, come along then, that tea's not going to drink itself!"

As the four of them walked down the hall, the elves overheard Ruth whispering to George, "How scandalous! Living together and they're not married! What is this horrid generation coming to?"

"Wish I could say," George muttered. "At least our grandson's all right."

"Yes," Ruth said. "You don't see him running around with any scarlet women!"

"Dear, I hardly believe she's all that."

"Excuse me, Mrs. Tinkleman, but I'm a blonde," Zelda couldn't help pointing out. She wondered if perhaps Ruth was color blind and had mistaken her hair for red.

"Yes, dear, I see that," Ruth said, smiling sweetly. She opened the door to her and George's apartment. She would have liked very much to take back her invitation, but that would have been horribly rude, so she led Link and Zelda into their small but humble home. "Please, dears, have a seat on the couch!"

The two elves sat down on a small, stiff couch that smelled like old people and looked suspiciously like a love seat.

"So, how long have you two been in New York?" Ruth asked, pouring them both cups of very steaming tea.

"Uh…only just a few days, actually," Link answered.

"Where'd you move here from?" asked George.

Link and Zelda looked at each other. "Very far north," was how the latter decided to reply. Then she spotted the sugar and nudged Link, looking rather thrilled. Ruth and George stared at the two as they nearly emptied the contents of the sugar dish into their respective tea cups.

"Erm…so, are you Canadian, then?" Ruth inquired politely.

"…" The visitors suddenly began guzzling down their tea in a way most lacking manners, causing the old couple to start sipping down their own.

"So, what do you two do around here for fun?" Zelda asked.

"Well, George and I don't really get out much," Ruth said. "Now and then we have our friends over to play bridge or poker! And then of course there's the occasional Broadway show, if we can afford it, and our grandson likes to take us out to dinner sometimes, and there's a most lovely zoo in the Bronx! But if you don't like zoos, there's always a walk in Central Park you could take! OH, and the museums! Metropolitan, Natural History—they've the most intriguing new dinosaur exhibit—Museum of Modern Art, and oh, so many others!"

A younger woman than Mrs. Tinkleman probably would have noticed the extremely lost expressions on Link and Zelda's faces.

"Oh, and just wait 'til you see the tree at the Met!" Ruth breathed, looking very delighted. "Nobody does Christmas like New York City, as I always say!"

"Tree?" Link asked.

"Christmas?" said Zelda.

"Oh, my! Are you Jewish, dears?"

Link and Zelda stole glances at each other once more. "Uh… we celebrate Christmas, if that's what you mean…"

"Well how splendid; then you must simply come to our grandson's annual Christmas Eve party! It's marvelous, and he never fails to invite us! Such a sweet boy, really! Perhaps you two can meet him someday! Yes, I'll arrange it the next time he stops by, shall I?" Ruth asked, looking very ecstatic at the very idea.

"He's stopping by today, you know," said George. "It's Friday."

"Goodness gracious, you're right!" Ruth gasped. She glanced at the clock. "And by golly, he should be here any minute n—"

They suddenly heard the sound of a door closing. "Mimi? Grandpa?" A red-headed young man walked into the living room and froze in the middle of taking his jacket off. He stared at Link and Zelda.

"Roy?" Zelda asked, recognizing the hair and the face at once.

"Oh, uh, hi!" Roy said, looking rather embarrassed.

"My, my, do you three know each other?" Ruth asked.

"Your grandson has been quite helpful to us," Zelda said, smiling sweetly at Roy as he sat down next to his grandparents. "He's given us a few hints as to how to get around this city!"

"Well Roy, how nice of you!" Ruth said. "These are our new neighbors, uh…" For once, Ruth actually looked lost. "I'm so sorry, dears, but your names…?"

"Oh, how terribly rude of us!" Zelda laughed. "My name is Zelda."

"I'm Link," her partner said, wondering if the name would at all intimidate the rather feeble looking Roy. That would be cool.

"Well, what interesting names!" Ruth said cheerfully. She turned to George. "Wasn't Zelda the name of the villainess in that first Flash Gordon serial?"

George shrugged. "That was over seventy years ago, Ruth, I don't remember!"

"Ah, well… but how nice that you have all already met!"

"Yes, nice, isn't it?" Roy said, staring at Zelda and trying unsuccessfully to untie his snow boots. He cleared his throat and looked determinedly over at Ruth. "Mimi, I've … I mean, uh, grandma, I just got back from the lottery."

"Did you?" Ruth asked, apparently elated at the very thought of it.

"Yes, you'll never guess what I got tickets for!"

"42nd Street?" Ruth suggested, as if nothing else in the world could be better.

Roy wrinkled his nose. "No… besides, that went out of circulation months ago, ever since Shirley Jones joined it."

"That's too bad."

"Shirley Jones," Zelda muttered to herself. "Why is that name familiar?"

"Aw, you know," Roy said, looking sheepish. "Partridge Family lady?"

She stared at him. "Uh…oh yeah, of course. Ha, ha."

"Anyway, I didn't believe it to be possible, but I got tickets for WICKED!" Roy shouted, throwing his arms up into the air with enthusiasm.

Ruth and George gawked at him. "I know!" Ruth suddenly said. "Why don't you take Link and Zelda along?"

"Uh, what?" asked Link, who had zoned out of the conversation a moment ago.

"I don't suppose the two of you have ever seen a Broadway show, have you?"

"Um…no," they both said at exactly the same time.

"Well, Wicked is getting simply all the best reviews and it would be an excellent first show for you two see!"

"We're kind of busy tonight," Link said.

"Don't be ridiculous, we are not," Zelda said back.

"Hey, Zel, can I talk to you for just a moment?" Link asked with a false smile. He was holding her arm in a vice grip.

"Erm, okay," she said, eyeing him warily. "Please excuse us for a moment." Link dragged her into the kitchen.

As soon as the elves were out of earshot, Roy turned to his grandparents, looking dumbfounded. "Why don't you want to see Wicked?" he asked. "You said it yourself, it's getting the best reviews!"

"Oh, they'll want to see it," George said. "Your grandmother and I have seen plenty of Broadway shows. And they've never seen one!"

"That wouldn't have changed your minds before…"

"All right, you want the truth?" Ruth asked, looking sour all of a sudden. "Wicked is pure blasphemy! Why, I hear it's changed the entire Wizard of Oz around to make Dorothy and Glinda out has villains and the WICKED Witch of the West a hero! It's an evil idea! Simply wicked!"

"Yes, it is," Roy joked.

"I simply refuse to see it," Ruth said indignantly, crossing her arms. "Besides, you already know Link and Zelda, why don't you want to see it with them?"

"It's not that," Roy said hastily, turning red. "I just wanted to know why you guys didn't want to see it."

Meanwhile, in the kitchen—

"Link, what in the name of all that is Christmas is your problem?" Zelda asked.

"We don't know Roy well enough to just go off somewhere with him in an unfamiliar city!"

"What are you talking about? He's been helping us, in case you didn't notice!"

"Well Santa told us to stay in our apartment until Malon and Mido come, and this would count as leaving, wouldn't it! Besides, you heard the title! Wicked! It's an evil adjective, in case you didn't know!"

"I'm going to call Malon," Zelda said, taking out her cellphone. "Ah, shoot… she didn't teach me how to call her!" She jumped when it suddenly started ringing. "Ha, what luck, huh?" Zelda opened it, sticking her tongue out at Link and turning so her back was to him. "Hey, Malon."

"Hi, Zel! What's up? You guys okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine," Zelda said. "We're actually at our neighbors', they invited us over for tea. And their grandson wants to take us somewhere tonight…"

"Where?" Malon asked quickly. "Does he seem dangerous in any way, shape, or form?"

"No," Zelda said. "On the contrary, he's very nice! He wants to take us to some show or something …it's called Wicked."

"WOW! He's taking you to Wicked?" Malon gasped. "No way! Those tickets are like, impossible to get! That show's getting all the best reviews, I so envy you!"

"Hey, how do you know that?" Zelda questioned.

"I just know things," Malon replied mysteriously. "But so long as Roy knows where he's going, it's fine for you guys to accompany him."

"Really? Cool. Thanks."

"No problem. Make sure you wear something nice, like one of those skirts we bought, okay? And make sure you call back when you get home."

"Right… er, how do I do that?"

"Oh, sorry—just hit the button that says 'send' on it. Kay?"

"Okay… bye, Malon."

"Bye!"

Zelda closed the phone and turned back to Link. "We're going, Link, you and I are going with Roy! We are not going to be rude and turn down his invitation!"

The fire blazing in her eyes was slightly frightening and caused Link to say, "All right, fine. Now let's go back out and be sociable."

"So, can you two go with Roy tonight?" Ruth asked.

"We'd love to."

"Great!" Roy said with a grin. "We should probably leave here around a quarter to six, so… make sure you eat before then, I guess."

"Okay."

"We'll see you then, ….then," Link said, standing up. Zelda frowned slightly and followed suit. "Goodbye. Thank you for having us over, Mr. and Mrs. Tinkleman."

"Oh, any time, my dears, any time!" Ruth said, waving them goodbye.

When the elves were safely outside the door, Link noticed Zelda was already on her cell phone again. "Hey, Malon … what time is 'a quarter to six'?"

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A/N: And that's the end of chapter 7. If you don't know the play Wicked, I'm sad for you!  Also, I just feel like mentioning that Ruth was modeled after my late grandmother Ruth Jones, whose maiden name was Tinkleman. By now you lot have most likely forgotten what you wrote in your last reviews, but I feel like thanking you anyway!

jill2282: The rest is right now! Ta-da! Lucky you reviewed like, today.

The Sagittarius Sage: LOL I'm glad you liked the cell phone part. That makes me feel special! Also thanks for including the bit from the story; I love when people do that! (That was my favorite part of the chapter, too)

Sesshoumaru's wife: Thank you! I feel special!

Ryu the Dragon Demon: Sorry I got your name wrong! XD my bad. Thanks for being so understanding Nice impersonation, by the way, with the microwave. I never even thought of doing that! Do you mind if I borrow it sometime?

cswoman: Right back at ya, dude. Merry Christmas!

Wind's Hope: "Interesting" is the word most often associated with my fics. I know, I know, everybody wants the romance in this story. I want the romance in this story! Thanks for being patient!

Becca: I love your reviews; you're so nice! Thanks for putting the clip from the story in, that means a lot… glad you can get mental images! 

RayxJade: Ha, ha, I'm glad someone liked the Prancer/Cupid thing. I think it's spiffy you called my comedy good. I'm flattered!

Medlei: lol, yes, the innocence of Link and Zelda. I'll keep up the work; I hope you keep reading, because that would make me happy like a grandma!

Bridget: lol yeah, I'm sorry this story is out of date right now. I don't think it was when I started it, but thanks for enjoying it all the same!

Exiled Desert Goddess: Ooh, glad you like Roy. You'll be seeing more of him in this story, ha, ha, HA! Thanks for saying my stories rule … is your name really Alisha? Because that's my best friends name, only she spells it with an E instead of an A at the beginning. Always cool to hear from you!

Moonbeam: Ha, ha, I love you too…

Tessyboos: Thanks, tess. Sorry that the Yankees lost way back when. Glad this could cheer you up! omg, Amanda and Craig Bench had their TWINS! I don't know if you knew that, but I just had to say it. Tell Betta it was SO awesome to have her here and I miss her! I miss you, too, of course, Tessaroo!

zelda's baby girl: okay…. Thanks for your review and saying that my stories rock, because that's what big-shots like me love hearing! Sorry I take forever to update, but these last few months have been especially trying…

Blahgirl: lol, we all have problems. Thanks a million for your inspiring review!

Hylian Princess: Awww, thanks, you're so nice! Thanks for updating your story too, by the way. Whoa, it's extremely popular! Sorry it takes me eons to update.  It means a lot to me that YOU think my stories are funny!

Black Emerald Dawn: Woo-hoo thanks for adding me to your fav. Author list! That's so awesome of you! Yes, "different" is most definitely an adjective once could use to describe my stories… you're awesome!

Devil Seifer: I guess the second red-head must be Roy. I must've been thinking really weird that day and thought it would be cool to twist it and have Malon with Roy… which I will not be doing, by the way. Ignore me! Ha, ha, threaten me with Link plushies all you want, my friend, but I shall KEEP THEM and never give them back!

oOoDancingQueenoOo: um… your welcome?

linkmaster27: Oh my gosh, how nice of you! I love clapping people! Thanks so much for your mucho amazing compliment!

Greki: Your review was also "damn cool" and you're AWESOME!

AUDREY HEPBURN!