The Collective Years
10: Opening a Window
PhDelicious
Disclaimer: Nope, got nothing.
A/N: Hey guys, thanks for sticking with me through all this. I know the chapters are getting long hopefully you all still think they're worth it. I was going to split this one in half and get it out sooner, but that would have broken the one rule I set for myself with this fic. So here it is long after the fact...
Jack
The holidays are such a hassle. Incessant caroling… over done decorations… party, after gathering, after get together…and all that shopping.
Jack groused to himself as he maneuvered his car through the holiday traffic on his way to the SGC's New Year's Eve party.
At least this party should be fun. After all Samantha's hosting, which means that there will be at least two people I can actually enjoy spending time with. Ah, finally…
The traffic opened up in front of him and Jack squeezed through to his exit and headed towards Sam's house. Automatically, he checked the seat next to him to make sure the cake he'd almost forgotten to get had survivedthe ride so far.
Of course it still there, where would it have gone? It's not like anybody could have beamed it out of the car. It'll be fine Jack, just relax. Just because this is the first time you've been to Sam's place since coming to Colorado doesn't mean it's anything to be nervous about. It's not like anything is going to happen. You've barely gotten her to the point where she's willing to have a work related conversation with you when no one else is around. Just keep it easy. Slow and steady.
Jack parked his car at the end of a long line of cars stretching down Sam's block. He grabbed the box out of the front seat and followed the shoveled path towards Sam's door. Jack nervously shifted the box in his arms and rang the doorbell. A few moments later the door was opened to reveal a large dark-skinned man. Jack's jaw dropped.
"T?"
"It is good to see you alive and well O'Neill."
Teal'c opened the door more fully allowing warmth, light, and laughter to pour out into the cold night. Jack stepped inside and shuffled out of his coat as Teal'c closed the door behind him.
"Wow! It's good to see you too buddy. How did you…"
"Hey Teal'c is that Jack yet?"
Mark Carter walked into the foyer closely followed by Catherine.
"Indeed."
Catherine rescued the cake from certain death by pulling it from Jack's numb hands as Mark hugged his stunned friend hard.
"Oh, good, Jack's here. Surprise!"
Daniel, Janet, and Sam crowded into the small foyer. Catherine handed the cake off to Sam.
"I managed to save this before Mark got a hold of him."
"I'll just go put this with the rest of the food."
Catherine and Janet smiled indulgently at the guys before following Sam towards her kitchen. Mark released Jack and the four former best friends stood looking at each other in silence, Jack's smile growing with each passing second.
"So who, how…?"
"Well, Sa…"
"I thought it would be a nice surprise for you to get the old group back together again. I told you there was another part to your present."
Daniel cut across Mark's answer. Jack looked between them quickly, but he missed any messages that they might have passed.
I wonder what Carter was going to say. It almost sounded like he was going to say that this was Samantha's idea. I'll find out later. First things first…
"I don't know about you guys, but I could use a beer. How about you guys catch me up on what I've missed? How's married life treating you these days, Carter?"
The guys followed Teal'c as he threaded his way through the rest of Sam's guests.
Sam
"That went well. Did you see the shock on Jack's face? I bet it was even better when Teal'c opened the door. I don't think he'd moved since he walked in the door. Thank you for inviting us Sam. Mark's been trying to come up with a reason to get out here ever since you told him Jack had reappeared."
"You're welcome. I'm sorry I made you do so much traveling during the holiday season."
"Don't worry about it. The kids are enjoying the time with their grandparents. I believe they were actually going to go into New York to watch the ball drop."
"That's awesome. Mark and I never could convince them to take us."
"From what I've heard, you wouldn't have wanted to miss the time with Jack anyways," teased Janet.
Sam blew her friend a raspberry.
"So what is the deal with you guys these days?"
"No deal. I'm treating him like I would any other new faculty member."
"You're so full of shit Sam. If he was actually new you'd have slept with him within the first month."
Rosa walked into the kitchen and helped herself to a soda from the fridge.
"You know there are sodas out there."
Sam gestured towards her dinning room where the table was full of food and drinks.
"Yeah, but this one's cold and I wanted in on the gossip fest. You, Janet, and Cath all together in one room can only mean trouble. So what's the plan?"
"There is no plan. Remember. I'm not doing anything until I'm sure he's staying."
"And if you don't give him a reason to stay he's going to leave."
"Janet can we not have this argument tonight? I'm going to go pretend I care about my other guests."
Sam stalked out of the kitchen to mingle with the rest of her guests, a mixture of SGC members, other faculty, and spouses. A while later, when she looked back across the party, her friends were still huddled together in the kitchen.
Great! Well I better be on guard. They're definitely going to try to force something. Where are the guys? Ah Ha!
The door to her private study, which was supposed to be off limits during the party, was ajar.
I know that was closed earlier.
Sam shuffled her way through her living room and foyer. As she got closer to her study she could hear the guys' voices.
"So which team are you backing in the Rose Bowl?" asked Mark.
Do guys ever not talk about sports?
Sam pushed the door open slightly. Daniel was sitting, leaning back, in her chair with his feet propped on her desk. Mark and Jack perched on the desk, while Teal'c was holding up a wall.
"Well I think …"
The door squeaked as she opened it a little wider, distracting Jack. He shifted to look across the room at the door and their eyes met. A familiar light flared in Jack's eyes but it disappeared almost as quickly as it had come, leaving Sam feeling oddly empty.
God, he looks so natural, here in my house, with our friends. This is how it should have been, could have been. I…
"Oh, hey Sis."
Mark had followed Jack's gaze and so had Daniel, spinning the chair around to see what had captured Jack's attention. With the moment between them broken, Sam locked her emotions away for future consideration.
"Hi guys. I just wanted to make sure everything was all right, since you've been gone for over an hour."
"Oops. I better to go check in with Janet. I didn't realize it'd been so long."
Daniel scrambled to his feet, nearly tripping over the chair in the process. Sam stepped fully into the study to allow him out. Mark followed shortly behind Daniel.
"Some things never change."
Jack shook his head in amusement at Daniel's antics.
"Indeed O'Neill. I believe I am in need of refreshment. Excuse me."
No, don't leave me here alone with him. Not tonight, not on New Year's Eve of all days. I can't…
Teal'c pushed away from the wall and nodded to Sam as he passed. Sam started to turn and follow him out, working furiously to keep her emotions in check and a bright party smile on her face.
"Sam…"
She turned back at Jack's questioning tone, knowing full well that it would be her undoing.
Jack
Jack slid off the desk and approached Sam who gazed at him rather apprehensively.
Please just let me…good. She's not moving away at least.
He stopped just shy of invading her personal space. She'd stiffened slightly as he'd drawn nearer, but stood her ground.
"I just…Thank you Samantha."
"You're welcome?"
Does she really not know?
"For this, the guys…"
"Daniel thought…"
Jack cut across Sam's denial.
"Samantha…Daniel might have approved of the idea, but not until after you suggested it."
"Well, I…"
"Thank you, for giving them back to me and not calling me an idiot for giving them up in the first place, at least not to my face."
Jack leaned forward and resting his hand on Sam's shoulder, placed a chaste kiss on her cheek.
Don't push your luck. Don't push your luck.
Jack trailed his hand from Sam's shoulder down her arm and he backed away. This time it was Sam's turn to stop him as he left the room.
"Jack…"
Did she just…It sounds better than I remember. She hasn't used my name since I've been back.
"Yes?"
"Happy Holidays."
Jack looked back over his shoulder. Thoughts, words, phrases clogged his mind and threatened to spill from his mouth and break their fragile truce.
I love you. I need you. I can't do this without you anymore. Please forgive me. Please give me another chance. I'm an idiot, but how can you keep doing this? Don't you feel anything anymore?
Something in her eyes gave him the courage to speak.
"Samantha is there any chance that you might…that we could…"
"Hey Sam, where'd you put the extra beers? It's only 10:30 and all the ones you had out are gone."
Davis Duncan interrupted Jack as he came down the short hall which separated the study from the entryway.
Well crap. There goes my only chance at getting her alone tonight.
"I think a couple of the contributions got put in the garage. Jack, could you help me check?"
Or maybe not. Maybe she wants to fix this as much as I do? Keep your fingers crossed O'Neill.
"Uh, sure."
Jack moved into the foyer then turned in the direction of Sam's garage. He walked through the gathering towards what he thought would be the correct door, Sam following behind him.
Well I can't be too far wrong. She'd tell me otherwise.
Jack opened the door, braced himself against the frigid air, and motioned for Sam to precede him down the short flight of stairs into the cold garage. A quick glance at the base of the stairs revealed several six-packs sitting next to a case of champagne.
Corona, Yuengling, Guinness…decent selection. She looks nervous.
Sam had stopped just beyond the stairs and was looking determinedly at the floor. Jack descended the stairs and waited. He waited until he was almost shivering from the cold of the garage and still Sam stared at the floor, shivers her only movement. Jack sighed and bent to pick up the beer, but a small sound from Sam caused him to look up at her. Confusion was written plainly on her face and Jack thought he could detect touches of fear and longing as well.
She looks so cold and lonely.
Invading her personal space, Jack drew Sam into his arms, rubbing his hands briskly over her back to warm her. When he felt her shudder he tucked her head against his shoulder, under his chin, and held on tight.
"Jack, I…"
Sam's words came in a soft whisper that trailed off uncertainly.
"Hush. It's okay baby. It'll be all right. Whatever you want we'll work it out. I'll do whatever it takes," Jack murmured soothing into Sam's hair.
After too short a time, Sam began to stir and Jack tensed as she lifted her head from his shoulder. Sam pulled away enough so that she could tilt her head up to consider him. Desire, hope, and the love he had thought he'd lost were clear in her eyes creating a moment of intimacy such that Jack could not stop himself. He leaned forward and touched his lips tentatively to hers. She responded hesitantly at first, but soon Jack felt the line between past and present blur and the kiss deepened and intensified. Her lips had just parted to allow him entrance to her mouth when the garage door burst open.
"Sam! Jack! Come quick!" Daniel shouted.
It took a moment for the panic in Daniel's voice to register, but the instant it had Sam tore herself from Jack and he pushed her up the stairs as both of them rushed into the house.
Sam
"Daniel? What's going on?"
Sam yelled at the back of her retreating friend. Daniel didn't even turn to look at her as he hurried up into the kitchen. Sam took the three stairs into the kitchen in two steps and stopped short. Mark was collapsed on the floor leaning back against Sam's island with Catherine kneeling beside him. Tears were streaming down both their faces. Janet was on the phone and Teal'c stood guard. Jack pulled up just short of slamming into Sam's back as Daniel moved to support Janet. Teal'c was the first to speak.
"Janet Fraisier is speaking with your father. It seems there has been an automobile accident."
Sam moved quickly to join Mark and Catherine on the floor.
"The kids?"
"They're all right. Sam, it's your mom."
Oh God! Mom?
Sam rocked back in shock. She might have fallen over but Jack was there to catch her. Janet hung up the phone and turned to the group. Jack's arms tightened about Sam as Janet began to speak. Slipping into doctor mode, Janet delivered the bad news.
"Here's the deal. Your family was involved in a car accident. Dad sustained minor injuries as did the children though Jackie's were a little more severe. The other car struck the front passenger side. Your mother took the brunt of the impact. She's currently in surgery, but they're not sure that she'll make it."
What are we going to do? How do we get there? We're never going to make it in time.
"Do you know what hospital they were taken to?" asked Jack.
"I wrote it down."
Janet handed Jack a slip of paper. He shifted Sam and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small cell phone. He hit number one on his speed dial and waited.
"Mom…Happy New Year to you too…Mom, Mom! There's a problem. The Carters got hit by a drunk driver. They were taken to St. Claire's Hospital in Denville. Could you…Thanks Mom."
Jack hung up, snapping his phone shut. He rose and drew Sam to her feet. Jack kept one arm around Sam as he reached a hand down to help Catherine up. Teal'c came forward to assist Mark.
"Go pack. I'll take care of everything."
Jack gestured towards the rest of the house. Catherine led the shell shocked Carters upstairs. Janet followed closely behind.
Jack
Jack was flipping his phone back open even as they left the room.
"Jack?"
"I'm calling the base Daniel. I think there was a transport heading back to McGuire tomorrow morning. I might be able to convince them to leave early. Can you and Teal'c take care of these people?"
"Peterson Air Force Base, Airman Smith speaking."
"This is Colonel Jonathan O'Neill. I need information on the next transport to McGuire AFB."
"Just a minute Sir."
Daniel and Teal'c were ushering the other guest out of Sam's house.
"Sir? There are no transports leaving for McGuire until next week."
"There's nothing sooner?"
"Not to McGuire Sir. I do have a cargo transport leaving for Dover AFB in Delaware in an hour."
On New Year's, that sucks! Bet the pilot would be glad for some company.
"Does he have room for four passengers?"
"It looks like that should be possible Sir. Shall I write you in?"
"Yes."
"Is there anything else I can do for you Sir? Will you be needing a car when you get to Dover?"
Doh!
"Yes please Airman, and thank you for reminding me."
"I'll make sure there's something available for you Sir. I hope everything works out for you Sir."
"Thank you Airman. Happy New Year."
Jack disconnected and looked around the now silent house. Daniel and Teal'c were cleaning up and the Carters will still upstairs. Jack headed up the stairs to fill them in on the plan.
So not how I wanted to see Sam's bedroom. Not that I even know which room it is.
"Samantha?"
"In here Jack," called Janet from the room to his right.
Jack headed towards her. He could hear Mark and Catherine come out of the room behind him and follow him into Sam's room.
"I've got us on a flight out in just under an hour. Are you ready to go?"
"Us? Jack you don't have to do this."
"Yes, I do. I'm not going to leave you alone on this Samantha. Now, is there anything else you need me to help with?"
"I, uh…"
"Go ahead Sam. Daniel and I'll make sure everything's all right here and lock up before we leave."
Janet grabbed Sam's bag and began to hustle the group out of the room.
Sam
They'd gotten to the base just as the pilot was performing his final pre-flight check. The large clunky plane looked like some military cargo plane stereotype out of a movie. Jack had walked them into the large cargo hold, directed them around the helicopter therein, and pointed out the large uncomfortable benches which would serve as their seats during the flight and then gone to speak to the pilot. When Jack had returned, stowed two bundles under some webbing, closed the bay doors behind him and then made sure everyone was strapped in for takeoff. A few minutes after Sam had sensed the plane leveling off Jack had unhooked himself and gone off to talk to the pilot. He'd returned, retrieved the bundles which had turned out to be self-inflating air mattresses, and set them up on the floor of the plane. Mark and Catherine were curled up asleep on one. Sam was lying awake on the other, staring at the side of the plane while Jack sat perched on one of the benches.
What are we going to without Mom? Dad's going to be a wreck. At least the kids are all right. I don't think Mark and Catherine would have survived if the kids hadn't. I'm not sure Jack would even have been able to help. Jack…
Sam sighed and shifted so she could see Jack. The noise caught his attention and Jack looked down to the mattress near his feet.
"You should sleep. You're going to need all your strength for later."
"I can't. I can't stop thinking about…"
Jack slid off the bench to sit beside Sam on the mattress. He rested a hand on her shoulder.
"I know, but there's nothing you can do from here and it'll be a lot easier to handle the rest if you've had some sleep."
Sam twisted away from Jack, uncomfortable with his all too knowing gaze and touch. She could feel his hesitancy to leave her in the way he moved from the mattress.
Don't let this go!
Obeying the internal command Sam rolled back to grab Jack's arm as he rose. She could sense him looking at her but she couldn't force herself to look beyond his hand as she gave a slight tug to bring him back down beside her.
"Jack…why are you here?"
"To make sure you get to your family safely and as quickly as possible."
"Why? You walked out five years ago and we've barely spoken since you returned. I haven't exactly…"
"I made a mistake. I hated the person I was becoming after Charlie…I didn't deserve you and I didn't want drag you down with me. It took me a few years to realize that even though I will never deserve you, I'm much closer to being deserving when I'm with you then when I'm on my own. Then I had to convince the Air Force that this was where I should be. As for right this moment, Catherine has her hands full worrying about Mark and her kids. Somebody needed to be worried about you."
"Jack…"
"Please don't make the same mistake I did Samantha. Let me help."
Sam finally looked up from where their hands had been resting, fingers interlaced, on Jack's lap. Jack's soulful brown eyes reflected an all too familiar combination of hope, love, pleading, and terror.
How can I resist a plea like that? Don't kid yourself Samantha, you were about to give in before any of this happened. Now you know he's serious, don't keep him hanging!
"I was just going to ask you to join me. I don't think I'm going to be able to fall asleep on my own. You should get some rest too."
Surprise showed in Jack's eyes. His free hand reached out to caress Sam's cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears that had begun to trickle down her face.
I love you.
Without breaking eye contact Jack raised their joined hands to his lips.
"Are you sure?"
Jack's words were giving Sam a chance to change her mind, but the press of his palm against her cheek, the strength of his grip on her hand, and the possessiveness of his gaze told another story.
Be careful. If you agree to this you give yourself over to him and open yourself up to being hurt again. Don't kid yourself Samantha…this is exactly what you've always wanted from Jack. Trust him. You'll only hate yourself later if you don't.
"Yes."
Jack
Did she just…? Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Don't screw it up now O'Neill.
Jack removed his hand from Sam's face and shuffled around until he was lying on his back alongside her, their joined hands resting on the mattress between them. His breath backed up in his throat when Sam released his hand, rolled over and pillowed her head on his chest. Her right arm stretched across his torso and her right leg rested between his.
I am the luckiest man alive. I can't loose her again. I don't care if she's overly emotional right now and I'm taking advantage. I'm not giving her up again.
Jack's arms moved to encircle Sam and he held her tight, one hand across her shoulders, the other resting on her hip, as they both drifted off into sleep.
Their positions hadn't changed when the pilot came to check on them four hours later.
A/N2: So…I'm just going to leave the chapter here cause I don't feel like depressing myself or you guys any more than I have already by doing sad hospital scenes and a funeral. I think I've got another 2 maybe 3 more chapters in me, but I have to admit I'm getting tired of this fic, especially given the lack of feed back. Now, I'm not threatening to leave this unfinished, I hate unfinished business, but I am saying that encouragement will get chapters out faster and maybe increase the final number.