The Collective Years
11: Hearts
PhDelicious

Disclaimer: I've run out of ways to say this…They are NOT mine. I get nothing from this except for reviews and a sense of self-fulfillment.

A/N: Sorry about the delay. I hoped to work on this last weekend, but a CSI plot bunny bit me in the ass and wouldn't let go. I'm still having trouble sitting down and focusing on SG1, of course that could be the Halloween candy's fault.

Jack

The past six weeks had been among the worst of Jack's life. There had only been two times when he'd felt more helpless and he tried as hard as possible not to ever think of them but somehow this, watching Sam's pain and being unable to stop it, had been worse. It still surprised him that Jacob Carter had found the time and concentration to confront him after the funeral.

oOo

"Jack! It's good to see you again son."

Jack had been able to avoid being alone with Jacob during the days leading up to the funeral. Now, at the reception after, he'd relaxed his vigilance and been cornered.

"Same here Mr. Carter. I just wish it wasn't under these conditions."

"Me too. Emily would have been so happy to see you again. You're not going to screw this up again are you Jack?"

"I don't plan to Sir."

"That's good. Make sure Sam knows. This'll be hard enough for her without her having to worry about you too. I'm glad she has someone to look out for her. She deserves to be happy. Emily would have wanted her to be happy."

Jacob's eyes had misted over and he turned away from Jack, leaving him alone as quickly as he'd appeared.

oOo

Now it was almost Valentine's Day and he was supposed to be spending the evening with Sam, whom he hadn't seen in five weeks. He hadn't been able to take the time off, but because of the University's class schedule Sam had been able to spend the past four weeks helping her father adjust. They had spoken on the phone every day, but it wasn't the same as seeing her.

Almost time to head out. I hope this goes all right. God, I haven't been on a date in…forever. I just want this to be perfect. She's been through so much recently and I, Hell, I'm almost as likely to break down as she is. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Jack stared into the bathroom mirror and adjusted his tie one final time. On his way through his bedroom he shrugged into his suit jacket and grabbed an envelope and a small box, which he tucked into his breast pocket. The trench coat he pulled from the hall closet finished off the outfit and Jack headed out to his car, after checking his pockets for his keys, wallet, and cell phone.

Sam

"Jan-net," Sam whined, "What am I supposed to wear? He won't tell me anything about where we're going!"

Janet sighed in resignation. Sam had been standing, staring at her closet for the past 20 minutes rejecting every outfit it contained.

"He's going to be here soon and I have nothing to wear."

"Sam, you've got over an hour until Jack's supposed to pick you up and you know he's always late."

"But…"

"No buts. How about you go get in the shower. I'll make some phone calls and by the time you get out I promise I'll have something for you to wear."

"Jan…do you know something you're not telling me?"

Janet's tolerant smile blossomed into a smirk.

"You do! I knew it! You know exactly what Jack has planned and you haven't told me…some friend you are!"

"He wants it to be a surprise and I agree. Relax Sam; you're going to have a great evening. I wouldn't have agreed to help out unless I approved. Now, shoo! You're making it hard for me to do my job."

This time the resigned sigh issued from Sam's lips as she hung the dress she'd been holding back up in the closet and grabbed her robe and towel.

"Fine, you win."

Sam headed into her bathroom. A few moments later the water started up and the door cracked open and a pile of clothes dropped onto the chair beside it.

oOo

It was more than 30 minutes later that Sam emerged from the bath, wrapped in her robe, pulling the towel off of her hair. The hot, soothing waters of the shower along with the rituals of shaving and moisturizing had relaxed her. She looked around for Janet. There was no one else in the bedroom, but laid out on the bed was the perfect dress. Sheer black lace lay over a dark maroon satin sheath which fell, sleeveless, in an A-line cut from a deep v neckline and wide shoulder straps. Sam caressed the dress; the lace was soft and fluid while the smooth satin shimmered in the light.

This is perfect. How did Janet know?

Ditching her robe, Sam donned a matching set of deep blue satin underwear and bra before unzipping the dress and sliding it over her head. The back of the dress also dropped away in a v deep enough to allow Sam to do up the zipper by herself, but not, Sam twisted to check in the mirror, low enough to flash her bra.

Amazing.

Sam opened her door and peered out into the hallway.

"Janet?"

"Just a minute," came the faint response from the first floor.

Sam headed back into her bathroom. Janet appeared in the door just as Sam finished a light coat of foundation.

"Damn! I wish I'd looked that good in that dress when I tried it on."

"You tried this dress on?"

"You're not the only one with a hot date tonight."

"Daniel remembered a holiday?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"He had a little help and some not so gentle reminders."

"And all is right with the world again."

Sam winked at Janet, who laughed and started riffling through Sam's makeup drawer. Sam watched and a after a brief moment of indecisiveness, Janet placed two compacts on the counter.

"Use these; you'll look like you're glowing."

The colors were a range of pinks and golds with just texture to keep them from fading when applied. Silently agreeing with her friend's decision Sam pulled a few more things out of her drawer and set about finishing the rest of her routine.

"So what are you going to do for jewelry?"

"The usual I guess, I don't have anything that's really made to go with this dress."

"Are you sure that'll work?"

"It'll be fine. Hold on a minute and I'll show you."

Janet wandered out of the bathroom and over to Sam's dresser. She started toying with Sam's jewelry box.

"Jan, you're being more fidgety than Jack. Are you sure everything's okay?"

"Fine, fine, why wouldn't it be?" Janet picked up a long gold chain. "Are you sure you don't want to wear these?"

Sam looked at the two rings hanging from the necklace.

"Of course I'm going to wear them. That's what I meant."

"I thought maybe…you'd…"

"Maybe I'd what?"

"Put them back on…the way they're supposed to be worn. They are rings after all."

Sam's eyes snapped to Janet's. But Janet wouldn't meet her gaze.

"Jan…I…I'm not sure either of us is ready yet."

This time Janet looked up and Sam looked away.

"You know you want what these rings symbolize. What better day to show him?"

"Well….maybe one…"

Janet unhooked the clasp on the necklace and slid the Clladagh ring free.

"This one?"

Sam nodded her head and accepted the ring, placing it onto her left ring finger, heart facing in. She turned her back to Janet and the other woman reached around her to put the necklace on. The clasp was redone and Sam smoothed the necklace into place. Her old engagement ring hung just low enough to be hidden by the fabric of the dress. Sam turned back around to Janet. She ran her finger through her hair and then nervously down the dress.

"You look perfect."

"Good."

"Show time?"

Sam checked the slim gold watch she was putting on.

"He's not supposed to be here for another fifteen minutes."

"Do you have your shoes picked out?"

Sam went to her closet and lifted out a pair of wedge heeled, black sandals.

"Do these meet with your approval?"

"Yep. Aren't you going to put them on?" asked Janet as Sam slipped past her and out of the room and headed down the stairs, shoes in hand.

"Not until it's time to go. They're not exactly the most comfortable shoes I own."

"Um…Sam…"

Sam turned around on the bottom step.

"What?"

"I think she's trying to warn you that there's someone else in the house."

Sam started at the deep voice coming from just behind her. She turned sharply and misplaced her foot on the step. Dropping the shoes she'd held, Sam landed solidly against Jack's chest. His arms wrapped around her in a quick hug before his hands slid to her waist and he lowered her down to the floor at the bottom of the stairwell. The hands that had been squished between them slid up over Jack's shoulders and looped themselves around his neck.

"Hi," Sam whispered as she tugged his head down to hers.

"Ehm," Janet cleared her throat. "I believe that's my cue to leave. You kids have a good time now."

Janet smiled broadly and hurried down the stairs, squeezing Sam's shoulder as she stepped around the couple.

"Thanks Jan."

"You're welcome. Remember you deserve to be happy, both of you. Happy Valentine's Day!"

Sam turned in Jack's arms so that she could watch Janet gather her purse and coat before heading out. Janet cast one last glance over her shoulder at Jack and Sam before she let herself out the front door. Sam started to step away, but strong arms wrapped across her stomach, holding her tight against Jack.

This feels so right. I hope we don't mess this up again. I can't loose him again so soon, especially not with…don't think about that tonight Samantha! Maybe I shouldn't tell him about…no, you need to be honest with him. He needs to know…but I don't have to do it right now. Right now I'm just going to enjoy having his arms around me again.

Sam relaxed back in Jack's embrace resting her head against his shoulder. He bent his head down and placed a soft kiss against her neck.

"You look amazing tonight. Would you be too upset if I told you we were staying in?"

Sam lifted her left hand to rest against Jack's cheek, holding him in place as she tilted her lips to rest against his.

"Devastated," she breathed before kissing him.

Jack's lips parted and his mouth opened for her searching tongue. His hands tightened reflexively on her hips and he pressed against her roughly before pulling sharply away from her. Sam's hands dropped to her sides and she smoothed her palms nervously over her dress again.

Jack

He put some distance between them to allow his befuddled mind to sort out the past few minutes and refocus on his objective.

Why was her hand cold against my face? She doesn't usually have cold hands unless she's been outside…

Jack placed his hands on Sam's shoulders and turned her to face him. He smoothed his palms down her bare arms and lifted her hands to his mouth, laying on a light kiss on the back of each. He started when he felt the press of cool metal against his lips and then he looked closely at her hands for the first time that evening.

Holy Hannah! She's wearing a promise ring. It looks just like the one I gave her years ago. She wasn't wearing it on New Years or at the funeral…

"Samantha?"

"Yes Jack?"

Sam smiled widely at Jack. He ran his thumb over the ring that had returned to her finger.

"You're wearing my ring."

She kept my ring! Did she keep the other one?

"Very observant of you Jack."

And now she's teasing me…

His face must have betrayed some of his annoyance because Sam burst out laughing.

"Samantha…"

"Jack?"

"Sam"

"It was time. Happy Valentine's Day Jack."

Sam stood up on her toes and kissed Jack's cheek lightly.

"Now didn't you have something special planned?"

Right…right…

"Well I hadn't planned to start with this, but given the circumstance…"

Jack released Sam's hands and moved to cup her face before leaning down to capture her lips in a passionate kiss. After a little while he pulled back and resumed their conversation.

"I thought about taking you out for a big fancy dinner at the best restaurant around, but I wasn't sure you'd feel up for it. So…I brought dinner to you."

Jack turned and gestured for Sam to precede him into her dinning room. He smirked as she gasped in surprise. While Sam had been getting ready upstairs, Jack had been getting ready downstairs. The table had been sprinkled with rose petals and set with two elegant place settings. A large glass bowl filled with water sat as the center piece and several roses floated between flickering white candles.

"Oh Jack…It's beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it. Sit. I'll get the salads."

Jack pulled out Sam's chair and helped her get seated. In the kitchen he checked on the plates sitting in the oven to keep warm, and removed his suit jacket to get more comfortable, before taking two salad dishes and a bottle of wine from the counter and out to the dinning room. He set the food down and proceeded to open the wine and pour glasses for himself and Sam. Raising his glass he toasted Sam.

"To the most beautiful, intelligent, stubborn, and forgiving woman in the world, the woman I love. Thank you Samantha for everything, you have given me so much more than I deserve."

Sam tried to speak, but she couldn't form the words for tears running down her cheeks and the emotions choking her. Jack smiled and leaned over to kiss her briefly.

"And this is why I didn't want to do this in public. People would think I was breaking up with you or something," he teased as he brushed her tears away.

A little while later the tears stopped falling and Sam spoke.

"Jack…I…"

He stopped her words with his fingers on her lips.

"Later…let's just enjoy dinner first."

Sam's smile brightened as she noticeably shifted herself out of her serious mood.

"I'd rather enjoy you, but if that's what you want…"

Jack rolled his eyes and sighed to cover his immediate physical reaction to her words.

"You really are trying to kill me aren't you? Eat woman! You're going to need your strength for later if you keep this up."

Sam

Dinner was amazing: tender juicy steaks, crisp vegetables, fluffy rice, fine wine, and a smooth creamy chocolate mousse for desert. Happy and sated, Sam felt as if she could sleep for days, if only Jack would join her. Currently he was cleaning up some of the dishes, having refilled her wine glass and told her to stay put.

I can't believe he's cleaning up now. Someone's grown up a bit. I could get used to this. We never really got to do this last time.

"Sooo…"

Jack walked in from the kitchen; the sleeves of his dress shirt unbuttoned and rolled up to reveal bare skin, and holding an envelope and a small wrapped box.

"I believe it is traditional to give gifts to those you love on Valentine's Day."

He placed the envelope on the table in front of Sam, but kept the box.

"I have something for you too Jack. I'll just go…"

"Open your card first."

Jack bounced nervously on the balls of his feet and passed the box back and forth between his hands, as Sam tore open the envelope.

Why is he so nervous?

"Aw! Very cute Jack."

The card wasn't flowery, lacey, or extravagant. In fact it looked rather like something a young child would choose. The caption under the bright, colorful cartoon of a patched heart read, 'You are the bandage that holds my heart together.' There was no picture inside, just the words, 'Please don't let it fall apart. Love, Jack.'

"Oh Jack!"

"I know it looks cheesy Samantha, but I mean it. I know you're wondering about this…"

Jack placed the small box in front of her. Sam picked up the box, marveling at the subtle pattern of the wrapping paper that evoked hearts, rings, and flowers. When her fingers began to slide under the tape holding the paper in place Jack stopped her by placing one of his large hands over hers. Sam looked up at him questioningly.

"Jack?"

"I gave you a box like this one once before and you accepted it and me completely. Then I made the biggest mistake of my life and threw it back in your face."

Jack took the object in question out of Sam's hands and set it back on the table.

"There's nothing in there because I was…afraid. I wasn't sure that you'd be ready for what I wanted to give you. I don't want to push you Samantha, but think of this as a promise. When you're ready, when we're both on the same page, I fully intend to ask you to marry me. I love you."

How can he doubt my answer? Well you did freeze him out for five of the last six months…But I'm wearing his ring? Does he know that? And not the one you put on your hand today for the first time in years because Janet said to. Time to bite the bullet Samantha.

"I love you too Jack. I…this is going to sound so corny and rehearsed…The most common image for Valentine's Day is hearts and the dream is to have someone that you can give a piece of yours to in exchange for a piece of theirs. We made that exchange a long time ago and though I've questioned that decision over the years I've never changed my mind. But given the circumstances I think you might like to have this back."

Sam slid her hands up to the back of her neck and felt for the clasp of her necklace. Her fingers were shaking and she fumbled.

"Here, let me."

Jack's hands covered hers and he caressed them briefly before moving them out of the way and undoing the necklace. He moved the thin gold threads around in front of Sam and held them out for her to take. Jack placed his hands back on her shoulders, as Sam took hold of the ends of the necklace and lifted out and away from her body, pulling the chain from under the dress. The ring came free and the diamond glittered in the candlelight. Jack's grip on her shoulders tightened as he gave an involuntary gasp.

Jack

That's her old engagement ring. She wants to give it back! But she was talking about love…

Sam slid the ring off the chain and holding it in her palm she turned in her chair to face Jack. She held the ring up to him.

"I thought you might want to put this in your empty box. I don't want another ring. I've gotten rather attached to this one over the years."

Jack reached numbly for the ring, his brain still processing Sam's revelations.

She doesn't want another ring? If she's attached to this one why is she giving it back to me? Wait, she said something about putting it in the box…she wants me to give this ring to her again? Sweet!

"You always did have the best ideas."

Jack reached out and after laying the ring on the table he picked up the box. As he unwrapped the box he paused.

Should I bother putting this in the box or should I just give it back to her? Should I just ask her now?

Jack finished unwrapping the box, flipped it open, and placed the ring inside. Then he came around in front of Sam's chair. As he started to get down on his knees Sam stopped him,

"Jack…Wait…I have something else for you first. I've been…keeping track…of something for you."

Sam stood up and gesturing for Jack to take a seat she headed out of the room. Jack could hear a drawer slide open and the shut as Sam rustled around in, he assumed, her study.

What on Earth is she looking for!

Sam returned to the dinning room carrying a manila folder full of papers. She placed the folder on the table in front of him and pulled one of the other chairs over to sit next to him. Jack lightly fingered the top flap of the folder before flipping it open. On top was a glossy 8x10 of an obviously posed picture of a teenage girl.

Who the hell is this?

"Not long after Charlie's funeral Janet forwarded me a letter. It was from a ten year old girl had just had a heart transplant. It was addressed to 'the family who saved my life.' The letter thanked us for making the decision to donate Charlie's organs and told about what she planned to do with her new life. Jack, meet Julie Murphy."

She looks so normal, so healthy. There's a lot of stuff in this folder.

"Samantha?"

"I wrote her back and we've been exchanging letters for the past five years. We've actually met in person a couple times even. She's a really good kid, but I'll leave you two to get acquainted."

Sam leaned over and wrapped her arms around him in a quick hug before rising. She seemed to be unsure of his reaction and a little reluctant to leave as she stood behind him and laid her hands on his shoulders. Her hands wandered down over Jack's chest as she leaned forward to rest her chin on his shoulder. Sam's arms tightened briefly around Jack and she placed a quick kiss on his neck.

"I just wanted to show you that a part of Charlie was still alive. Give her a chance Jack. She may not be Charlie, but she's a pretty special kid."

Jack placed his hand atop Sam's and squeezed. Then she slipped away from him, leaving him alone with the evidence of his failure.

No! It was not your fault that the other idiot was driving drunk. You did not fail Charlie. You did everything you could for him in the short time you had with him and you made the right decision in the end. And this girl's life is a direct result of that.

Jack started to leaf through the file, beginning with five years worth of photos.

Sam

It's been two hours. I didn't think that there were that many letters.

Placing the book she'd barely even turned the page of on a small table; Sam rose from the large stuffed chair in her bedroom and tip-toed downstairs. She peered around the corner into the dinning room. Jack sat quietly at the table staring blankly at one of Julie's letters.

I wonder which letter that is…probably one of the anniversary ones. Those are always the...hardest.

"Jack?" she whispered.

There was no response so Sam moved forward and sat back down on the chair next to Jack. When there was still no response she placed a hand lightly on his forearm and began stroking her fingers over his skin. He started and turned towards her. The tears trailing down his cheeks glimmered in the dim light. Jack reached over and drew Sam into a hug, pulling her onto his lap in the process. Clutching her tightly he whispered against her neck.

"Thank you. Thank you for keeping all of this. I love you so much Samantha. Marry me? Please. I promise I'll get it right this time."

"Yes."

A/N2: Finally. This one felt like it took forever. Happy Halloween!