Disclaimer: I only own my can of Root Beer.
Warning: Slash. OOCness. Chaos and confusion.
A/N: Woo hoo, I got my computer fixed! And I also got some reviews! Thanks guys!
This chapter is very confusing. But it's suppose to be that way seeing as everything is starting to go crazy.. intentionally and unintentionally. Hah.
"Mister Malfoy,"
Looking up you see the ugly face of your godfather.
"Yes, Professor Snape?"
"We need to talk."
Smiling slightly, you wave secretly to the Gryffindor as he walks away, giving you a slightly worried expression. Returning your gaze back to the older man, you see the dislike in his eyes, trailing after the closed door. Potions class was over and so were the end of classes.
"Talk about what, Sev?"
You wanted to get this over with. The excitement of meeting Harry again was drilling in your chest. You knew it was unhealthy to think about the boy all the time, thinking of touching him, kissing him. It was very unhealthy, yet it felt too right.
"Come, Draco." Snape spun around, black ropes billowing at the dramatic turn. "We have important matters to discuss."
Sighing, you follow the man, greasy hair flying with each heavy step he took. Walking into his private chambers, you feel the instant change of temperature. It was warmer, but one look at the decor in the room, shivers had run a marathon through your spine.
He turns around again, his wand raised directly at you.
The door closes behind.
Snape looks at you, his black eyes piercing into your figure and you want to run, fearing what your godfather will do. There were never many times youare afraid of the man. But something about the look in his eyes sent you diving into that pool of dreaded anxiety. Instead, you tense, making yourself higher and pushing all fear away.
"What," the deep voice broke the tense silence between you and him "are you doing with Potter?"
Nothing but him. Of course those words did not escape you lips, but those did form in your thoughts. "Why would I have anything to do with Potter?"
You try your best to put the sneer in your words, but you know it did not fool Snape.
"Don't lie to me, Draco." Snape walked slowly to his desk, sitting down onto the plush black leather chair and motioning for you to sit. You sit slowly in the other chair across from him, falling into the softness of the cushioned chair. "I see clearly you and Potter have formed some kind of... relationship, I suppose?"
"We're just friends." He gives you a peculiar eye, and you pray to the Gods he would believe you. "We formed a truce."
"Truce? Why a truce?" He leans back, his gaze still set frozen on you. It made you uncomfortable as his eyes pierced through your own, sending its scorching fiery gaze. His voice rumbled with slight malice and disappointment. Typical for the most hated professor in Hogwarts.
"Potter and I found our childish antics annoying," you lean back in your chair too, trying to give him an equally fire-filled stare. "We are sixteen, and have matured. It's foolish to continue with our useless bickering."
"Your father will not like this." Snape said, rubbing his temples. This gave the man a weary look, all the day's events rushing into his pale face. "He will not tolerate this."
Your lips twitched, wanting to put on a growl as a trickle of anger slipped inside you. It was always about your father. Always Father will not like that. Father will not be proud of this. Father hated everything and anything that would bring negative ideas thrown to the name of a Malfoy.
You allowed him to teach you his ways, to hold onto his every word and idea. He wanted you to grow up with power in scripted in your mind, pride written in your soul and a pure heart of nothing but Malfoy.
You were judged by a scale so heavily weighted.
But you only grew up, hating the every aspect of his mental written laws, everyday holding something new against his acts. You wanted to be your own being. Yet, everything you did, somehow bounced back to your father.
It was a never ending track.
"I thought Father would be less bothered. I have been in trouble many times because of Potter." Indeed that was true. You have been put in danger more times than anyone would have thought. Your attempts of revenge backfired often, sending you diving into your own consequences.
Now there was no reason to be put in detention. No reasons for your father to scold you, going on about the pride of a Malfoy.
"Yes, you have Draco." He gives you a disapproving look and you smirk half-heartedly. "But your father will not be keen on this new friendship with Potter."
"He wanted me to befriend Potter. Why wouldn't he like this?" The train ride before first year, your father had told you to form a relation with Potter. That was what he wanted from you, and of course, your good grades.
"He won't like it, Draco." Snape said firmly, his eyes flashing a dangerous threat. "It was what he wanted before. Potter has grown; he's on Dumbledore's side."
"Well… wouldn't Father want me to manipulate Potter?" you ask, uncertainty etched inside of you. You did not want to manipulate, or pretend. This thing with Potter was too special in a way; in a way you could not explain. Notto anyone. Maybe even not to yourself."I could do that…"
"No, Draco." He places folds his hands together, his stare unwavering.
Your eyes travel to your own hands folded in your lap, slightly confused at why your father would not like this.
"Wasn't this what he wanted in the first place?" A soft sigh escaped from Snape's thin pale lips. "I don't understand, Sev."
"Lucius wanted you to befriend the boy in first year because Potter knew nothing about the wizarding world. He wasn't in Gryffindor. He didn't know about the Dark Lord." Your eyebrows knitted together, something spinning in your mind. "He didn't know what was wrong and what was right."
You suddenly jump to your feet, a new knowledge overwhelming you, forming rapid questions in your head. Confusion and anger hit each other furiously.
It was all so sudden it scared you.
"Tell me," Snape stared, slight curiosity perking up his features. "Tell me."
"Tell you, what, Draco?"
The incredible feeling, the realization, the confusion ran miles, creating chaos with everything that was in your mind. How come this has never reached your mind before? When have you ever pondered on those things before? Why have you not thought of the obvious?
What was right?
And what was wrong?
x.x.x.x.x
You don't remember throwing the door open, ripping the locking charms in a way that was impossible without your wand. You don't remember striding quickly through the corridors, your breaths coming heavy and fast. You don't recall hearing your name being shouted, urging you to come back. You do not remember standing in front of the Gryffindor portrait, your heart pounding, fists clenched.
You do remember the rage inside of you. The entropy that controlled your mind, ridding sense from existence. You needed all things with sense to be put back together; to be placed back in their rightfully assigned states.
You stare at the napping portrait of the Fat Lady, picturing precisely what was behind that door; who was exactly behind that door.
The clutter ripped through your chest, heaving mixes of confusion and pain that gripped tightly at your ribs. The utter sense of understanding was gone from you. Everything seemed to collide and mush together, forming a huge ball of holy mess.
You wanted to enter the portrait, see the mob of thick black-hair. You wanted to be lost in those forests you called his eyes. You wanted to leap into his warmth, the soft caressing of fluttered emotions all directed to one being.
Maybe then, everything will become clear.
"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" a familiar voice sliced the still silence. You turn around to catch the flamboyant colour of red hair. A snarl instantly fell upon your lips like second nature.
"None of your business, Weasley." You spat, bitterness dripping from your words. You know that it didn't come out right as you find his gaze directed at you skeptically, a knowing smirk forming; something a Weasley should never be able to do. You look back at the portrait, half desperate to feel that person.
Knowing Weasley, it was impossible to meet Harry now. You suppressed your slight erratic breathing down to shallow gasps, and start to walk away from the portrait. But a hand stops you.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Away from you, if that's what you're wondering." You snarl back at him, shrugging off his sweaty grip. "Now if you don't mind, Weasley… I'd like to leave."
Stepping again, you feel his hatred flowing freely from his form, and you feel your need growing stronger; the panic inside of you crying for calm.
"Hey," a slow breath descends from above, the seething hotness trailing down you neck. Suddenly a loud thud echoes through the silence, the pain flowing steadily to your head and your back. Tight fists full of your cloak drags you to the height of the red head.
Raging oceans clashed against ice cold glaciers.
You feel the hard wall against the dull thud of pain that traveled in you body. And the numbness of you jaw follows as a strong fist is shoved at your face. It takes you a few moments to retaliate, but when you do, rage controlled your actions.
You spread the balance of emotions and physical contact evenly; the boiling fury growled hungrily and sighed in relief as your fists hit the taller boy. The surging anger inside of you filling your conscious as the fight grew heated.
"What the fuck, Weasley?" you punch him again, square in his stomach and receiving a low moan of pain. He wipes off your smirk by a hard blow to the jaw again, clashing the bruise you already had before.
This fight was unnecessary. It had no meaning, no words to explain your actions and his. But as each painful moan, each time your body was hit, each time your fist contacted with seething hot skin, you felt somewhat of your previous chaos disappear. You find yourself putting effort in making pain and experiencing the pain.
It felt good.
A/N: Not one of my best chapters because this one was so hard to write. I think the talk with Snape and Draco was a bit too unrealistic and OOC. And I think it moved too quickly for my liking.. oh well. I read it over five million times but I just can't put my finger on what I'm missing. I'm really disappointed. Blah.
Anyways, REVIEWS! Man, I loved them all very much! I felt really really good reading them.
What Love Is: I think I get what you mean by that metaphor thingie.. though not really. Ohk, I still don't get it. Excuse my lack of smartness. (boooo hooo)
LadyDragonWolfKnight: Harry's a hard character to write. He changes so much in the books because of all the events that happen to him. And I also clash the FanFiction Harry to the JK Rowling Harry. Heh, yes, Granger is smart in school, but she isn't so much in believing herself. :P
Miss. Gaunt: Damn, you're too kind. (blushes)
Snake Tamer: Obsessed? Wooooooooooow. Come to think of it, Draco does shift emotions too quickly. Aw man.. well I'll fix it somehow. Thanks for the tips!
Thanks guys for reviewing! I love you all SO MUCH! (gives thousands of hugs)