"Sir?" Sam began uncertainly, feeling way beyond embarassed.
"Carter?"
She thought he sounded irritated.
"You gonna tell me what's going on or are you just gonna sit there repeating yourself?"
His voice sounded harsh even to him.
"Sorry to bother you at home Sir, but I just wanted to let you know that … I … erm … yes .. I finished typing up that report you wanted."
"U-huh …" he said.
She could imagine him tapping his foot impatiently or drumming the bedside table with his fingertips.
"I just wanted to let you know Sir … since you said it was important."
Suddenly she remembered that the report thing had been a façade, and that she had just given herself away.
Jack stared at the phone - even more sure now that this was not why she had originally phoned. He decided not to call her on it.
"Okay Carter … and now I know. Leave it on my desk and I'll get back to you if I have any questions."
He tried not to sound gruff … but failed.
He heard her doorbell ring and a muffled voice in the background.
"Hey babe … I'll just change. See you when you're done."
Pete.
He wondered if this would be the night when she accepted the ring. Was this why she had called? To discuss the matter further? Jack's stomach lurched ever so slightly.
On the other side Sam looked between the phone and her boyfriend's retreating back. She raised the phone slowly back to her ear. All she heard was a dialling tone; Jack had hung up.
She sank onto her bed, her mind reeling. The General was seeing someone. That's what his cryptic comment had been about.
Her mind rehashed that last comment - 'if things were different I wouldn't be here.'
If things were different? Things obviously were different but he had felt no need to tell her so outright; had felt no need to divulge details from his personal life. What had she been thinking thrusting that box at him? God, he must have thought she was pathetic! She still hadn't figured out why she had done it. What had she been expecting him to do?
That flat look in his eyes. She just hadn't been able to get over that. She'd grossly misinterpreted it, however. She thought she'd seen a trace of sadness there. Now she knew it had been … boredom with the topic.
How many times over the years had she tried to approach him on the topic of how she felt for him? He'd either pulled rank, or brushed her off or stalled her in some way. He'd obviously been setting her down gently.
Again.
She was surprised to find that she wasn't crying. Her thoughts turned to Pete out there in the living room waiting for her. He was a good man. He loved her. It really was time to get a life – because Jack O'Neill obviously had one, and there was no place for her in it except as his second-in-command. He respected his second-in-command, and she needed to make sure he continued to do so. She shelved all thoughts of her commanding officer and left the bedroom, determined to make it work with Pete.
Across town Jack replaced the receiver and sat at the edge of his bed. He watched her dress in silence, wondering if this was going to turn unpleasant. When she was done she came to sit next to him.
"There's no reason to feel bad about what happened here tonight" she said, placing her hand on his knee.
"I don't even know your name …" he said gently, turning to look at her.
"My name doesn't matter. The only reason I know yours is because I heard the bartender speak with you. Look …" she sat on the bed and crossed her legs "we both have stuff going on up here" she tapped her forehead. "This wasn't supposed to be anything beyond … you'll excuse the crudeness … a mindless encounter. We're both haunted. We both needed physical comfort tonight. The only difference is I enjoyed this for what it was. You didn't; and that means that whatever's going on with you is bigger than your ability to deal with it. I don't want to get into your personal stuff here, but I will give you some advice: sleeping with someone else is a stopgap … it doesn't help you move on. And if you can't even enjoy it for what it is then you are in way over your head."
Jack looked at her in semi-awe, registering the truth behind her words.
"I still feel bad about it though …"
"Don't feel bad Jack" she placed a palm on his cheek and stroked it gently with her thumb, her eyes soft. "We all need to forget sometimes; better it was me than someone who hasn't been down this road. I had no expectations."
She stood to leave.
"That was her wasn't it?" she looked towards the phone.
Jack nodded.
"Complicated …" he said.
"Isn't it always …" she gave him a knowing smile.
He walked her to the front door. She kissed him on the cheek and turned to leave.
"Thank you" he said simply.
"Sort yourself out Jack …" she gave him a genuine smile and walked away.
Jack closed the door and leaned his forehead against it. He wasn't sure where to begin.
Author's Note:
People like this woman DO exist - not everybody out there is callous. Just sayin' xxx