chapter 2

Closets, recordings and plans

"Ok James, so what's the plan?" Lily asked. They had finished the two weeks of school and were collapsed on the Gryffindor couch later that night. It was around midnight and they had decided that was the best plan to meet.

"I don't know. All I know is that I'm tired of the two dancing around their feelings. Some people are so blind!" He complained.

"I know. They're so perfect for each other. They have been friends for ages and they're always nit-picking at each others habits and play fighting. It's too cute."

"Agreed. You know I think we should have some fun with this. How about we bring out the old clichés ?"

"Really?" Lily's eyes brightened.

"Really. The whole lock them in the closet, handcuff them together, make the other jealous and change their bodies around lot."

"I've always wanted to try those. We have to save the jealousy one for last though, I don't really want to do that. Hey, maybe we should change around bodies for a while too. I've always wondered what it would be like to be a guy."

"Ok. We'll do it at the same time as they do. We're in this together."

"Right. Don't breathe a word to any one. Not even other friends."

"Affirmative. We should have a project name so we can speak of it in public if necessary."

"Oh! And code names too!" She bounced up and down in anticipation.

"Ok. It has to be a random project name. Pick a colour."

"Burgundy." She said quickly. James rolled his eyes at the colour.

"Ok. Pick an animal."

"Oh! Oh! A fox!"

"Alright. Operation burgundy fox."

"Spiffing name, darling." She drawled playfully.

"Of course, what else do you expect from the brilliant mind of James Potter?" He smirked.

"James Potter! OH MY! I'm talking to James Potter! He touched MY hand! I'm never washing this hand ever again." She pretended to swoon.

"Come on Lils. They don't ALL sound like that." Lily snorted. "Anyway code names…"

"You can be sparrow." Lily said nodding to herself.

"Why?"

"I don't know. When I think of your hair, I think of a sparrows nest."

"Fine. I get to pick your name. It should be a bird. I know…Turkey." Lily winced. She had a fear of Turkeys ever since an unfortunate incident one year when she was visiting America.

"James." She whined. "You can't call me that! You know why!"

"No…too late. Turkey it is." Lily flinched again. It had taken ages for those scars to heal. The emotion scars didn't fade though.

"Fine. What shall we do first?"

"Let's do the closet one!" James said anxiously. "That's least likely to work and I want to try the others."

"Good idea."

"We'll meet back here in 6 days at one hundred hours. We will then commence in finding suitable broom closet for the two."

"Yes sir." Lily saluted.

"After that stage is complete we will wait until the next day, being Saturday, at 1100 hours we will lure targets to trap."

"Yes sir."

"We will finalise details before we commence. Such as how to lure them and the charms to lock the door."

"Yes sir."

"That will be all. Rest now. In 6 days we commence Operation burgundy fox."

Common room

"Turkey." Lily flinched.

"Sparrow."

"Are we ready to scout locations?"

"Yes sir."

"Let's do it."

It was 6 days later and they were just about to leave the common room. Lily had insisted they leave the invisibility cloak and Marauders map behind so they could be 'real secret agents'. They had dressed in all black Muggle clothes and James had transfigured balaclavas for the two to wear. They crept out the portrait hole and clung to the walls. The over exaggerated their sneaking and constantly darted in a zig zag motion across the hallways. After checking many closets they had appeared on the 5th floor. They had a special checklist to check off for each closet.

OPERATION BURGUNDY FOX

STAGE ONE: CLOSET ANTICS

Broom closet must have:

Spacious area

Breathing holes/cracks

No tools

No weapons

No means of escape

One door

On a corner
(So can be approached from 2 directions)

Room for magic voice recorder

"Sparrow. Come in Sparrow."

"Turkey." Lily cringed again.

"I believe I have found a suitable location. It needs your approval." James walked in and checked for a few minutes.

"Location approved." He nodded and gave her the thumbs up. They placed the magical recorder in the closet and put it on a timer.

"We have done well. Get some rest. We commence Phase one tomorrow at 1100 hours."

"Affirmative." They darted back to their rooms unseen. They had made plans earlier about how to get the two into the closet and were thoroughly satisfied.

Phase 1

"Sparrow. Come in Sparrow."

"Turkey." He ignored Lily's twitch and continued. "The time is 1100 hours." He looked from side to side. "Commence phase one."

Lily started bawling and James ran upstairs to get Abby. She came running down quickly with James tailing her.

"Lily, what's wrong?"

"Nothing…I'm being silly." Lily sniffed.

"What happened?" Abby demanded.

"Well, I was coming from the library when I heard a sound. I followed it and I met a bunch of Slytherins…" Lily trailed off.

"Did they hurt you? I swear I'll kill them if they did." Abby stood angrily.

"No…they called me a m-mudblood and took my homework. I spent ages on it and they took it." Abby knowing that Lily was frantic about studies tried to calm her down. James commended Lily on her acting. She was quite good.

"We'll get it back, Lils, don't cry, then I'll kick their arse for calling you that."

"No. They threw it in a closet…there was a boggart in there. I'm no good at DADA and I was scared."

"Lily, I'm good at DADA let me take a look with you. Lead the way."

"Ok." Lily sniffed.

"Just curious, what does your boggart look like?"

"Er…A turkey." Lily said thinking on her feet. James stifled a laugh.

"Oh, after that trip I can't blame you. Let's go."

Lily made exaggerated hand signals to James telling him it was his turn. Lily led Abby around the long way so they reached the closet last.

"Padfoot! Padfoot! We've git Snivelly locked in a broom closet!" James yelled running up the stairs.

"Ooooh! Let's go hex the greasy git." Sirius yelled standing and putting his wand in his back pocket. He wasn't bright at some times. James rushed after him and pocketed his wand on the way.

"He's in there!" James yelled hoping they reached the broom closet first. "We strapped him to the ceiling. It was a struggle!"

"Let me at him!" Sirius cried diving in the closet as Abby and Lily rounded the corner. James ducked behind a statue as Lily grabbed Abby's wand and pushed her into the closet. She quickly cast a spell the door wouldn't open for 5 hours. They figured that would be enough.

"Excellent work, Turkey." Lily grimaced.

"You too, Sparrow. Phase one: Complete." They gave each other a high five.

"Now we wait for the outcome."

In the closet

"Hello? Who is here?" Abby said quietly. "I can feel your legs but I can't see you."

"I didn't know you liked my legs." Sirius said in an amused tone.

"Sirius Black! Why the hell are we in here?"

"I don't know! I was told there was a Snivellus in here, strapped to the roof. Alas, no Snivelly." He whimpered.

"Well, I was helping Lily get her homework, but obviously that was a lie."

"Yes, it was James who lured me here. You think it was for a reason?"

"Aye."

"If I know Prongs there will be a magical recorder in here. They're nosey little bludgers."

They rummaged around before finding it and recording a message.

!LilyJames!

5 hours had passed and Lily and James had spent time talking about endless subjects, ranging from why Snape doesn't wash his hair to the meaning if the universe. There conversations were very deep and meaningful in any case. They heard a click and knew the door was opening. They stood before it ready to see the result.

"The time has come Sparrow."

"Indeed Turkey. We shall see if our work has paid off."

"Afraid not!" Sirius cried as Abby and he pushed them into the closet and closed the door.

"It was rather stupid of them to leave both sets of wands on the ground wasn't it?" Abby asked.

Sirius nodded in agreement.

They didn't lock the door. They would figure it out soon enough.

They would be waiting for when they did.

Behind the statue…just for safety.

In the closet

"I can't believe they locked us in here." James fumed. "What kind of friends are they?"

"I don't know. Let's listen to the recording. At least we will know what they said when they thought no one was listening."

"Right." He felt around for the recorder and rewound it before pushing play.

"Hello? Who is here?" They heard Abby's voice.. "I can feel your legs but I can't see you."

"I didn't know you liked my legs." Sirius' voice said. They could hear amusement in his voice.

"Sirius Black! Why the hell are we in here?"

"I don't know! I was told there was a Snivellus in here, strapped to the roof. Alas, no Snivelly." He whimpered.

"Well, I was helping Lily get her homework, but obviously that was a lie."

"Yes, it was James who lured me here. You think it was for a reason?"

"Aye."

"If I know Prongs there will be a magical recorder in here. They're nosey little bludgers."

"Damn!" James cursed.

"Lily Evans and James Potter! How could you lock your friends in here?" Abby asked. "Lily you are a very good actor but next time you want help you're on your own."

"We know what you're trying to do." Sirius said laughing. "We'll get you back. You don't know it but we're going to lock you in here."

Sirius and Abby were laughing when the recording stopped.

"Damn!" James cursed. He put down the recorder not realising he hit the record button.

"Oh well. We knew it wouldn't work anyway."

"Right. Phase two. Handcuff helpers." Lily snorted at the name. "You try a better name…TURKEY!" Lily cringed.

"Shut your face James Potter. If you went through what I did…you'd never look at a turkey again."

"Wimp."

"What?"

"I said WIMP!"

"At least I'm not a…man whore!" She pointed accusingly, though in the small, dark place it just proceeded to nearly shatter his glasses.

"At least I can get a girlfriend!"

"I can get a boyfriend!"

"Why haven't you got one!"

"Because, I don't feel the need to sleep around so that I have comfort, unlike some people."

"Lily Evans! You know very well that I'm a…" He lowered his voice, "v-i-r-g-i-n."

"Just say it. James Potter is a VIRGIN!" Lily yelled at the top of her lungs. "VIRGIN! VIRGIN! JAMSIE IS A VIRGIN! JAMSIE IS-" He clamped his hand over her mouth.

"What if people hear?"

"So?"

"They'll know!"

"You're only sixteen." She hissed.

"Yes, but I don't want them to know I'm waiting for some one special. Only YOU know. Not even Sirius, so keep a lid on it."

"We put a silencing charm on here anyway."

"That was one of my better ideas."

"It was my idea."

"What you're too stupid to think of that." He said proudly.

"Me Stupid! You're the one failing charms! You probably can't even cast a silencing charm!"

"Sssh! That's a secret you take to your grave or I'll tell every one about you failing transfiguration!"

"You wouldn't."

"I would. What would that do for your perfect prefect image then?"

"You're blackmailing me!"

"I believe so." She narrowed her eyes but he couldn't see in the dark.

"That's low James Potter!"

"What! Remember last year when a certain some one blackmailed ME into doing their transfiguration homework."

"That was different!"

"HOW!"

"You…YOU…YOU!" She was so mad at that moment insults wouldn't process.

"I what? Are you to stupid to think of an insult?"

"I'm not stupid!"

"Stupid." James muttered.

"Take that back!" She said loudly.

"Why should I? You're to STUPID to do anything to me."

"Idiot."

"Ice queen."

"Frog spawn."

"Mummy's girl."

"MUMMY'S BOY!"

"FREE LOADER!"

"SPOILT BRAT!"

"SNAPE LOVER!"

BAM! And Lily's fist connected with James' nose…again.

"OH MY James! I am SO sorry. I didn't mean what I said."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. The mental images are disgusting enough."

"No it was my fault, I started it."

"No I did. We both know YOU did the silencing charm."

"Here let me see you nose."

"No Lily, its fine. You've hit me so much I've gotten used to it."

"No, let me see." Her stubbornness prevailed. However, upon moving forward she tripped and fell onto James who then took the two flying through the unlocked door.

"Ow." James said as Lily got off him.

"I'm SORRY! I'm so damn clumsy."

"It's ok. I see they didn't lock us in there."

"Right we didn't." Sirius said coming out from the statue.

"Lily, you punched him again?" Abby said exasperatedly.

"Accio recorder. Let's see what we've got here." Lily and James both let their eyes widened when they saw their conversation had been recorded.

"Give me that." Lily said grabbing it. "Catch James!" She threw it down the hall to him. They then played keep-away with it until they got to their common room and destroyed it.