Title: Stand By Me
Author: Azamaria-chan
Fandom: Hikaru no go
Pairing: Hikaru/Akira
Warnings: hints of shonen-ai, OOC at times
Disclaimer: not mine... as usual.

AUTHOR'S NOTES! PLEASE READ!(as of June 26, 2006)

I'm tired of updating on only to have to keep on editing and revising, again and again. I'm going to repost the chapters again once I finish the entire story. Sorry!

However, if you don't want to wait that long...There's a link in my profile where you can find updates.

Thanks for reading!

Azamaria-chan

Prologue:

Akira clutched the glass of coffee in his hands tightly. What exactly did they mean by 'accident'? He leaned over, staring at the floor intently, hoping to quell the quivering that was slowly overtaking his body. His dark hair fell at the sides of his face helplessly. What do they mean? Akira asked himself over and over again.

"Akira..." He could see his mother's soft eyes and her lips which werepulled back a grim line; her attempt to keep calm was much better than his. "Don't worry. I'm sure everythingwill befine. Everythingwill befine..."

Akira knew those words were just as much for her as they were for him. As his mother's shaky hand tried to steady itself on his shoulder, the world around him suddenly magnified. Ashiwara's voice as he talked to one of the nurses felt violent, and Ogata's constant pacing back and forth, back and forth, was thundering.

Without realizing it, Akira's hands began to shake and life slowly drained out of every pore of his skin. His head hung loose, pulling, straining against his neck. His head hung loose, as thoughts barrelled in and out and in his mind. How could he just sit there waiting? What was going on? Why was it taking so long?

And why had there been so much blood?

The mug shattered once it hit the tile, spilling hot coffee all over the floor of the hospital waiting room.

"Akira-kun..." Ashiwara's voice and the sound of his quick steps filled the room---the other occupants had gone silent. "Try to calm down." Yet another hand was placed on his back, as the older go professional tried to soothe the boy. Akira ignored the help and jumped up, the coffee splashing at his feet.

"Calm down? How can I possibly calm down?" he cried, "My father has been in an accident!" He paid no attention as the entire waiting room continued to watch him, the boy causingthe outburst.

"Akira." This time it came from Ogata. "Take a walk."

It took a moment before dark green eyes finally came into focus and realized what had happened. "I'm sorry for the disturbance," Akira apologized quietly and he gave a bow to the others around him. When he looked back towards Ogata, the murmurs had finally begun once again. "I'll be right back..."

Taking a deep breath, Akira slowly walked towards the hospital's entrance,hoping the fresh air would help calm his nerves. Stick him in front of a goban and he was as calm as the cool, serene waters of Lake Toyako,but when dealing with any kind of emotional situations, Akiralost control,as apowerful tempest raging across the pacific.

"Why," he said aloud. He couldn't understand how, if there was a God, how He could let this happen. Akira didn't know what he had ever done in order to deserve this. And suddenly, he needed to hold back those tears that so desperately wanted to escape. Fists clenched at his sides. Nothing is certain yet, Akira said to himself and began to repeat as hedid his bestto hang onto what small figment of hope that still remained.

"Touya!"

Akira's eyes immediately snapped open. Shindou? What's he doing here? he wondered.The world was blurred around the edges as the boy with the ridiculous bleached bangs ran up to him.

"Shindou?"

"Touya! Are you alright?" asked Hikaru, concern in hiseyes,"I heard from Ichikawa at the go salon. I knew something was wrong when you didn't show up." The movement of Akira's lips felt heavy, too heavy to speak. "Are you alright?" Hikaru repeated.

"I-" he began but then stopped as their eyes met. Akira quickly looked away.

"Touya, it's ok," Hikaru said slowly. "Come on, let's go inside."

Akira slowly nodded and allowed Hikaru to lead him inside the hospital. He was so numb with anxiety he didn't even notice the hand on his arm.

"It's ok," repeated Hikaru as he guided Akira back into the hospital waiting room. The dark irises searched the room---the nurses still there, coffee that lay spilt on the floor decorated with bits of broken mug was still there, bright, overwhelming lighting, still there…

…but his mother was not.

"Where are they?" said Akira a tinge of hope immediately fluttering inside his chest, "They went to see him. Shindou, they went to see him!" As Akira willed his legs to move, a sudden squeeze around his arm caused him to look towards his friend.

"Touya…" Hikaru's voice soft, slightly raspy, tinged with worry.

"Let's go."

"Touya…" Hikaru repeated again but Akira only ignored him, choosing to pull him down a corridor instead.

They were faced with nothing but countless halls, all with the same fluorescent lighting, and impeccable white walls, that occasionally revealed a pair of swinging doors. Together they walked the halls, not knowing, yet knowing all the same where to go---at least what they were looking for. And when the familiar figure of Ashiwara finally came into view, Hikaru's stomach twisted in a knot; he wasn't surprised.

"Ashiwara-san. Ogata-sensei. What's going on?" Akira demanded. Hikaru no longer touching Akira watched worriedly from the side. "Is he alright? How is he? My father, how is he?" Akira tried to look into the eyes of the two men, but they were purposely avoiding his hopeful green ones.

"Ashiwara-san! My father, please." Slight panic now had risen in Akira's voice. "Ashiwara-san!"

Ashiwara did not say a word---his lipscouldn't move.But his tears spoke for him.

"Touya…" Hikaru whispered, his eyes widening in shock. He had known...but hadn't wanted to believe.

Neither did Akira.

Akira clutched his head, why was the room spinning? His feet fumbling beneath him sent him backwards against the cold, stiff wall. It couldn't be true…it just---It just couldn't be true.

The doors suddenly opened, and there, Akira's mother stood between the swinging doors. The features of her face were pulled into an expression he couldn't---didn't want to---decipher.

"He-" There weretears flowing down her face. "Kouyou. My Kouyou." As Akira's body went numb, whole weight relying on the wall, he was still unprepared when the next words escaped past his mother's lips.

"...Gone..."

The sounds of her sobs filled the room.

"What are you saying? It can't be true," he cried, hisvoice cracking,"You're lying." There was aching---trembling, numbness, feeling lost---aching… aching…

"Akira-kun…" said Ashiwara, his arm finally reached out.

"No!" cried Akira, firmly swiping away the arm, "No!" When Ashiwara backed away, Ogata made no attempt to console; his back was already up against the other wall. Hikaru on the other hand, reached out and placed strong hands on Akira's shoulders, who in return tried to push his rival away, but the teenager had a fierce grip.

"It's not true!"

"Touya!" Hands on Akira's shoulders shook him hard.

"No!" Akira made out, but when he tried to repeat himself, his voice failed him---he wanted to cry.

"Just let it out," Hikaru whispered, seeing his struggle. "Kick. Scream. Cry. Shout." But already Akira's energy had drained him, leaving him limp and barely standing.

"Why." Is the only word so softly spoken that makes it out of Akira's mouth before Hikaru's arms encircled him, pulling him into a supportive embrace. Too limp to move, Akira leaned against his friend, chin settled on the other's shoulder.

"Why," Akira began softly, as the first tear fell on Hikaru's shirt, "Did he leave?" Unconsciously, Akira's arms made way around his friend and held on tight. Hikaru responded by giving a gentle rub and leaning towards the side of Akira's face to whisper,

"Don't worry. I won't."

End Prologue

updated 02/19/06 --- yet again, cause i can't seem to be satisfied with this damn chapter.