Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.
Reviews:
To sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: Thank you very much. Sleeping Beauty is where all this madness began.
To Cat2Fat900: Honey, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you are crazy. And what's worse. . . you know it. And you're proud of it. Lol. Hey, me too! That would be fun, but also scary. There are some people that I just would not want to know what they are thinking. Lol. Yup, adamantium and blood. Yes, poor Kitty. I used to go around saying that whenever people said the word crazy. It just them nuts. :D Pyro needs to learn to behave around Raven. Lol. Thank you very much.
To Tigerlilly1234: Thank you. I think Remy would get the hots for Rogue if she was covered in motor oil and wearing Blob's clothes, but you know, that would be crazy. Crazy? Okay, I better stop now. . . (shudders) Snow White's voice. . . It's driving me mad, I tell you! Mad! I don't know whether to hug Kyo-Kitty for giving me this idea, or strangle her. Lol. Toothpicks, huh? Hmmm. . . ideas. . .
To Jynx Southern Gal: Thank you very much.
A/N: Well, here we go again! I had to stop writing this half-way through because Rogue's dialog was making me (and Rogue) sick. . .
This story is dedicated to Kyo-Kitty, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .
And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .
Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.
Scene 3: Rogue's Cottage
Logan stands back and surveys the scene before. Rogue is glaring at her dress. Jean is pouting. Scott is pretending to care. Kitty is kissing Piotr and Remy is trying to get Rogue's attention. Kurt is chasing Toad. Lance is glaring at Kitty and Piotr. Mystique is admiring her blue figure in the mirror. Hank is reading Moby Dick. Xavier and Magneto are arguing again. Ororo is watering the plants for the set. Blob is devouring the buffet table. Wanda is laughing at something John said. Logan finds that a little odd. Normally she'd be chasing him around by now. Evan is hiding in a corner. Sabretooth is asleep, which is the main reason Logan isn't fighting right now. Pietro is painting the dressing rooms purple and yellow. The New Recruits are laughing at Bobby. Something draws Logan's attention.
Crash! A pot is slammed into Remy's head.
"Ow."
"Maybe that will get my point across, Swamp Rat! Leave me alone!"
"Oh, chere, you wound Remy. . . literally," he says as he rubs his sore head.
"Go chase some other skirt!" Rogue yells.
"Mais chere, you know you don't really want t'at!" he says shocked.
"Are ya so sure, Remy LeBeau!" she growls.
"Hey, Rogue! I'mavailable," Pietro says coming in, covered in paint.
Rogue whirls on him next, "Why is it, just when a girl wants ta be left alone, you show up?"
"It'smyjobtoannoypeople," he says shrugging.
"You do a good job at it, garcon," Remy growls. He reaches back and punches Pietro so fast that he actually hits him.
"Oh Remy!" Rogue says, rather pleased, smiling at him. "Ah think that's the first time ya said somethin' that didn't make me mad."
"What about t'e time. . ."
"Don't ruin the moment," Rogue warns.
"What is going on here?" Raven says as she and Lightning appear out of nowhere.
"Well, you see. . ." Toad starts, before Nightcrawler bounds into him and starts strangling him.
"Never mind, I don't want to know." she says quickly.
"Let's just start the play." Lightning sighs.
"Lights! Camera! Action!" Raven calls.
Rogue lay sobbing on the set as the lights slowly turn up. Forge's IARs slowly start to appear, along with Rahne in her wolf form. The IARs start to surround her, which frightens her but she hides it. An IAR rabbit goes almost to her face, startling her. "Ooh!"
The IARs run away, acting very scared for robots.
"Please don't run away. Ah won't hurt ya!"
The IARs peek out of their many hiding places.
"Ah'm awfully sorry. Ah didn't mean ta frighten y'all, but ya don't know what Ah've been though, and all because Ah was afraid. Ah'm so ashamed av the fuss Ah've made. Could this line be any lamer?"
"No. Carry on." Raven answers.
The same little IAR bluebird from the last scene comes and lands on a nearby branch. His parent IAR bluebirds land on the same branch.
"What do y'all do when things go wrong?" Rogue asks the robots.
The parent IAR bluebirds tweet a little song.
"Oh! Ya sing a song!"
The IAR birds tweet and nod in agreement.
Rogue starts to sing a bunch of really high notes. The little baby IAR bluebird echoes and lands on her finger. Soon, Rogue sings a very high note. The little IAR bluebird echoes the note, but it's too high for the machine and it explodes. Rogue glares at Forge, who hides behind Logan and hands Pietro a duplicate bluebird. Raven is also glaring at Forge as Pietro replaces the bird, fixes Rogue's hair, and checks her for injuries. Rogue is fine, but very angry.
The camera starts rolling again as soon as Pietro is done. The little IAR bluebird sings a lower, rather off key note and his IAR parents grimace, but Rogue laughs and begins to sing, "With a smile and a song, life is just like a bright sunny day. . ."
Rogue rolls her eyes and Gambit catches it and laughs. He knows quite well Rogue doesn't believe a smile and a song can make everything all better, and yet, here she is singing a song that says the opposite of how she feels. He calms down after getting a glass of water and noticing the glares his future-in-some-other-dimension daughter is giving him.
During Gambit's laughing fit, all the IARs are getting closer to Rogue, surrounding her and making her very, very nervous. A IAR chipmunk climbs on her lap and she pets the animals unwillingly. She hugs Rahne very close to her out of fear for the younger mutant's life.
As the song ends, the IAR birds tweet happily. Rogue sighs with relief, "Ah really feel quite happy now. Ah'm sure every thing's gonna be all right." The IARs nod. "But Ah do need a place ta stay at night." The IAR Rabbits nod. "Ah can't sleep in the ground like y'all." The rabbit IARs shake their heads sadly. "Or in a tree the way y'all do," Several IAR squirrels shake their heads. "And Ah'm sure no nest could possibly be big enough fer me."
"Actually," Hank begins. "The American Bald Eagle makes a nest that's. . ."
"Uh, Hank?" Lightning asks.
"Yes?"
"Don't interrupt!"
"Oh, sorry excuse me."
The IAR birds shake their heads. "Maybe all y'all know where Ah can stay? In the woods somewhere?" The IAR birds tweet. Rogue stands up excitedly and clasps her hands, "Ya do! Will ya take me there?"
The IAR birds grab a hold of Rogue's cape and start dragging her through the woods. The other IARs and Rahne start pushing her along as well. They go through the woods, over a river and along a path until they reach some small trees. Rahne and a few IARs part the branches to reveal a little cottage. "Oh! It's adorable! Just like a doll's house." She squeals and steps over a log and goes quickly across a bridge.
The IARs and Rahne follow. Rogue pauses at the house. "Ah like it here," she says daintily, pretending once again to be Jean Grey. Rogue wipes a window with her gloved hand and peers in. Rahne does the same, only using her tail instead. Rogue looks shocked. She turns to the IARs and says, "Ooh, it's dark inside."
She goes to the door and knocks twice. No answer comes. "Guess there's no one home." She opens the door and walks in, muttering about how rude Snow White is. "Hello? May Ah barge, Ah mean, come in?" She sneaks in the rest of the way and shushes the animals. A IAR turtle is the last to enter the cottage.
Rogue walks past a stair case and turns around in a full circle before crying out, "Ooh!" The IARs and Rahne all freak out and run outside, right over the IAR turtle. Rogue sits in a little chair. "What a cute little chair!" The IARs return slowly. "Why there's seven little chairs. Must be seven little children, and from the look of that table, seven untidy little children." She stands up and goes to the table. She notices a pickax which is stuck in the table. "A pickax? A stocking too!" She lifts the sock up off the pickax and returns it. She opens a pot and pulls out a shoe. "And a shoe. . ."
The IARs whistle disapprovingly. Rahne tries, but it's rather difficult for a wolf to whistle. "And just look at that fireplace!" Rogue says as she goes to the fireplace and wipes her white gloved fingertip across the mantle in the manner of an army sergeant. "It's covered in dust!" She blows on it and causes two IAR squirrels and one IAR chipmunk to sneeze. "And just look at that broom!" The broom is covered in cobwebs. "Why they've neveh swept this room! You'd think they're motheh would. . ." she gasps. "Perhaps they have no motheh." The IARs shake their heads. "Then they're orphans! That's too bad." A mother IAR deer licks a IAR fawn. "Ah know! We'll clean the house and surprise them! Then maybe they'll let me stay." She then adds under her breath, "instead av kicking me out on my butt and calling the cops like any normal person would!"
Rogue hands her cape to some IAR birds who hang it on a hook. Then, she points to a group of IARs near the sink, "Now, y'all do the dishes." She points to a group of IARs near the staircase. "Y'all tidy up the room." She points to a group of IARs near the fireplace, "Y'all clean the fireplace." She grabs the cobweb-covered broom, "and Ah'll use the broom." The family of IAR birds begin to tweet and Rogue starts to sing the infamous song, "Whistle while ya work. . ."
The IARs start clearing the table. They place dishes on the IAR turtle's back. Rogue sweeps. The IAR deer dusts with her tail. The IAR fawn is licking the plates clean when Rogue catches it, "Oh! No, no, no! Put them in the tub!" So, an IAR squirrel pushes the dishes into the sink. The sound of breaking dishes is heard and Raven cringes. The IAR fawn starts pumping water into the sink.
Two IAR squirrels are sweeping dust under rug. It leaves a lump. "Uh, uh, uh!" Rogue calls, "not undeh the rug!" So, the IARs sweep it into a mouse hole. The dust comes back out quickly as a little IAR mouse comes out squeaking angrily.
Rogue cleans a very strange looking pipe organ and shakes the cloth out the window. An IAR squirrel has been dusting with it's tail and sees her do this. It shakes it's tail out the window and sneezes. A IAR squirrel twirls a cobweb up in it's tail. An IAR chipmunk sees this and tries to copy it, only to get stuck in a spiderweb and ends up falling into a blue sock . Through all of this Rogue is still singing. A certain black squirrel with red eyes and a flame thrower starts burning the cobwebs.
"Hold it!" Raven calls, "Ralph! What are you doing here? Get out! Back to CF you go! Back! Back!" The squirrel chatters angrily at her and shakes his fist before heading out of the studio. "SFWD to you too!" (1) she calls after it. "Now how did he get here?" she says glaring at Pyro.
"What? Why are ya looking at poor Johnny?" She continues to glare. "Well, it was just one little squirrel. . ."
"Yeah, the leader. Okay, lets just try this again. . ." Raven groans.
Another IAR chipmunk tries to roll a spiderweb into a ball. The IAR spider comes out and scares it. Several IAR birds drop yellow flowers into a blue vase that's now it the middle of the table and then pour water onto them. Rogue and the IARs cover a young IAR buck with dirty laundry. The poor IAR buck tries to walk out the door and stumbles, but finally makes it to a pool of water, where Rahne and a group of IAR raccoons are washing clothes with a washboard, rocks, and the IAR turtle's stomach. The IAR birds twirl the shirts dry and hang them on the line to dry by tying them in knots. Rogue sweeps the porch, still singing.
"And cut!" Lightning calls.
"Excuse we while I go throw up. . ." Raven says, heading towards the girl's restroom.
"Me first!" Rogue says.
"What was so sickening about that. I think it was very sweet and the IARs were so cute." Jean says.
"Ya weren't the one up there singing!" Rogue yells as she reaches the restroom door.
Even Kitty looks a little green around the gills. "Well, like, now I know what to do if I, like, ever want to torture someone to death. . ."
"Oh, it vas not that bad." Piotr says, with his arm hanging on her shoulder.
Everyone turns to him shocked, other than Jean, of course, and Raven and Rogue who are in the bathroom. "What? Where in the world did that come from?" most of them say at the same time, including Scott.
Scott realizes what just happened and screams hysterically. He then runs out of the studio, crashing headfirst into the door and then continuing on, still screaming.
"What did I say?" Piotr asks.
"Ah, never mind, homme, it's not worth explaining. . . " Remy tells him. He knocks on the bathroom door. "Roguey, are you all right? Do ya need Remy's help in t'ere?"
"No!" Rogue and Raven both call out.
"Go away ya little perve!" Rogue shouts.
Remy just smirks. He turns to Lightning, "Well, if t'e shoe fits. . ."
Lightning groans. "You are one sick Cajun."
Remy chuckles and smirks. "Oh, Remy ain't t'at bad. You should meet mon pere."
"I don't think I want to." And neither do we, so we shall leave now. . .
A/N: (1) SFWD Squirrels For World Domination. Cat2Fat900 and I are both big believers in this and CF has quite a large army of squirrels at her command. Ralph, the black squirrel with red eyes and the flame thrower is the leader of her squirrel army.
Hope you enjoyed Rogue's Rhyming Rampage. I personally was so sick to my stomach I very nearly did what my dear girls did above. Lol. The next chapter has much less of Rogue's Rhyming Rampage. Next up, The dwarfs are finally shrunk and they come home to find a princess in their beds. Yes, I meant to say beds.
Please review, even if Rogue's Rhyming Rampage made you sick too. . .