Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.
Reviews:
To sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: Thank you very much. Disney World? Really? That's cool. I've never been. Anywho, Scott's strange behavior started way back in the first of my parodies. . . Slowly he gradually grew an odd fear of Synchronized Sentences (that's my term for when two or more people speak in unison.). . . He's fear has not been abated yet and he battles it during every chapter. As you can tell, he will soon start seeing a therapist about the issue. Lol.
To heartsyhawk: Thank you. Well, he's stupid that way. Lol. I think Kurt was too busy being two feet tall to really do anything about it. And this was their first one. They're allowed to make a few mistakes. However, Snow White's voice and demeanor is very nearly unforgivable. I'm looking forward to Toad's bath as well. Lol. Yea! False alarm! How'd you find out?
To Nettlez: Thank you very much. You are seriously a boost to my ego. I can just feel my head start to swell. . . Snow White is the reason I hate the whole movie. The only part I enjoy in the Silly Song where bashful talks about chasing polecats (skunks) up trees. Yup same old Rogue and Remy. I'm starting to feel sorry for my dear Rogue, that's why, after my next parody (Thumbelina) I'll be doing Labyrinth. :) To give her a slight break from the fancy dresses. But there is that one scene. . .
To YinYangPisces: Thank you. Scott is probably hysterical after that last chapter. . .
To Kristy: Thank you very much. I've never seen either movie, sorry. My next story is going to be a parody of Don Bluth's Thumbelina. Then Labyrinth, and then Disney's Pirate's of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. :)
To Cat2Fat900: Oh, too bad. Labyrinth is one of my favorite movies ever. . . Only there's not a lot of room for Romy. Rogue will be happy, cause she'll resist him. . . And Remy will look very nice as the King of the Goblins. . . hmm, David Bowie in tights. . . lol. Who doesn't love the pirate Captain St. John Allerdyce? Lol hmm, the only movie I think Johnny Depth looks good in. Underwater base? Hmm. . . Sure you can. . . We'd all like to see that. . . You've got Remy on the brain, that's why. Though, technically, Remy shouldn't speak French. . . He should speak Creole. Go figure. It's really close anyway. Lol. Forge is definitely funnier. :) Probably, everyone would let you. :) Guess you liked that joke. Seriously, in the original he was all "What are you and who are you doing here?" And I thought, oh I cannot let THAT go by without a comment. Lol. Oh you know Rogue. Lol. She'll get over it . SFWD!
A/N:
This story is dedicated to Kyo-Kitty, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .
And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .
Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.
Scene 5: Toad's Bath
The entire cast is searching fervently for Todd. He is no where to be found. The play can't continue without him.
"Who wants this play to continue anyway?" Just-under-two-feet-tall-Evan groans.
"Evan, be nice," Ororo scolds.
"But Auntie O," he starts. She stops further complaints with a glare as cold as. . . as cold as Rogue's Death Glare.
When Raven and Lightning arrive, they do not seem happy to hear the news.
"What do you mean Toad is missing?" Raven says, narrowing her yellow eyes.
"Just what I said, 'Toad is missing'," Lance says.
Raven sighs and groans, "I'll find him." She does a quick mental search of the building and then, using telekinesis, drags the Mini Toad onto the set. "Gotcha."
"Aw, man, do I have to. . ." he whines.
"Yes!" Lightning and Raven shout.
Scott shudders.
Despite Toad's whimpers and screams the play begins as Raven calls out "Lights! Camera! Action!"
The pot in the fireplace boils rapidly. Rogue, acting as if she just remembered it, runs to it and removes it from the heat. She stirs it and tastes it. She spits it out. "Ugh, did Kitty make this?"
"Hey!" Kitty and Piotr both yell, causing Scott to bury his face in his hands, shivering.
Meanwhile the seven shrunken mutants are peeking from the top of the banister where Evan has stuck his head into a hole in it. They sniff the air and shout, "Ah, soup! Hurray!"
Scott screams out, "No! No, not the synchronized sentences again!" He starts crying.
Raven shrugs and the play continues.
The six shrunken mutants, who were not stupid enough to stick their heads through the banister, run to the table, each of them stepping on Evan's back. They are arguing over the food. Each one wanting to be the first.
Evan tries to follow, but his head is stuck in the banister. After several bumps and a bit of telekinetic help from Raven, his head pops through and he flies back into the wall. Aching from the pain, he stands and tries to run down the stairs, which only ends up in him tumbling down them inside. He gets up, rather sore and runs to the table and into his chair, but his chair falls back and he goes rolling out of it. He stands his chair up and sits down to join the argument without talking. The little mutants are fighting over potatoes and knocking Evan out of his chair again. They are just about to bite into them when Rogue sees them.
"Uh, uh, uh, just a minute. Suppeh's not quite ready yet, y'all'll just have time ta wash."
"Wash?" they ask each other quietly. Scott's tears grow louder.
"I knew there was a catch to it," Toad grumbles, throwing down his spoon.
"Vhy Vash?" Kurt asks.
"What for? We, like, ain't going no where?" Kitty asks.
"It isn't New Year," states Hank. Tabby, Kitty and Kurt shake their heads.
"Oh, perhaps ya have washed," Rogue says.
""Perhaps we. . ." says Beast, "Yes, perhaps we have."
"But when?" says Rogue.
"When? When? You said. . . Ah, last week, month, ye. . ., why, recently." Beast supplies.
"Yes, recently," They all say, other than Toad or Evan. Magneto wrestles a gun away from Scott who was about to shoot himself in the head.
"Oh, recently," Rogue says, "Let me see your hands."
All the shrunken mutants except for Toad, place their hands promptly behind their back and start to back up. Toad crosses his arms defiantly.
"Let me see your hands." Rogue insists, placing her hands on her hips.
Beast brings his filthy hands out.
"Why Doc! Ah'm surprised!" Rogue exclaims.
Beast giggles and hides his hands once again.
Rogue turns to Kurt, "Come on. Let's see 'em."
Kurt brings his hands out.
"Oh, Fuzzy, my, my, my. . ."
He blushes and hides them again.
"And ya," she says to Tabby, who brings them out. Rogue tsks.
Kitty rubs her hands on her pants and holds them out for Rogue to inspect.
"Worse than Ah thought," Rogue says sadly.
Evan sticks his filthy hands out and his sleeves cover them. Rogue laughs and he puts them down.
Jean sticks her hands out with the air of one who is too good for this.
Rogue gasps, "How shockin'!"
Jean quickly hides her hands.
"Goodness me!"
Toad looks at his hand and shoves it back down. He's really in a grumpy mood today because of the scene coming up.
"This'll neveh do! March straight out and wash or y'all'll not get a bite ta eat!" Rogue demands.
Sadly, the mutants, other than Toad, look to Beast, who nods and leads them outside the open door, who's doorknob is remarkably fixed!
Evan is, naturally, not looking where he is going and walks straight into the wall on the wrong side of the door. He runs out and around the door to the outside while most of the cast has trouble containing their laughter.
Toad says, "Eh," and turns to glare at the wall again.
"What's the matteh?" Rogue asks. "Cat gotcha tongue?"
Toad, looking shocked at such a statement, sticks his very long tongue out at her and proceeds to march straight into the door.
Rogue laughs, "Aw, did ya hurt yourself?"
"Hmph!" Toad answers and marches outside, slamming the door. He sits on a barrel and grabs a wheat stalk and sticks it in his mouth. "Eh, women!"
"Courage, men, courage," Beast tells the mini-mutants. "Don't be nervous."
Toad watches as they approach the horse trough. They peer at the water nervously. Kitty sticks her finger in it, "Gosh, it's, like, wet!"
Tabby sticks her finger in it too. She quickly pulls it out with a "Brrr!" She shakes, "it's cold too!"
Kurt speaks up, "Ve ain't gonna do it, are ve?"
"Well," Hank says, "It would please the Princess."
"I'll, like, totally take a chance for her!" Kitty says.
"Me too," says Tabby, Kurt, and Jean. Scott suddenly starts having a seizure and must be tied down.
"Hmph," Toad says from his barrel, "her wiles are beginning to work, yo! But I'm warning you, you give them an inch, they'll walk all over you!"
"Don't listen to that old warthog!" Hank says to the other shrunken mutants.
"Hey! That not nice, yo!" Toad complains.
"It's in the script!" Beast says, sighing, "Come one now, men!"
Tabby scrunches up her nose, "how hard do you scrub?"
"Will it hurt?" Jean asks.
"Do you, like, get in the tub?" Kitty asks.
"Do you have to vash vhere it doesn't show?" Kurt asks.
"Now, don't get excited," Hank tells them. "Here we go! Step up to the tub. It ain't no disgrace. Just pull up your sleeves and pin them in place. Then, scoop up the water and rub it on your face and go, 'Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!' Pick up the soap. Now, don't try to bluff."
They all pick up the soap, besides Toad, of course, who is still sitting on the barrel. They work up a lather in their faces.
Beast continues. "Work up a lather, and when you got enough, get your hands full of water and you snort and you snuff and you go, 'Brrr! Brrr! Brrr'!" Then, he starts to sing.
In the meantime, the IAR fly that bothered Jean before makes it's return by buzzing around Jean's head. Then it lands on the soap and starts scrubbing.
"Bunch of old nanny goats! You make me sick, going, 'Brrr! Brrr! Brrr'!" Toad hollers at them.
Beast then takes a floor scrubbing brush and scrubs Tabby's, Kitty's, Kurt's and Jean's heads. He tries to scrub Evan's, but Spyke ducks. He keeps trying to avoid the brush and Beast gets mad and knocks him into the trough with it.
"Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!" Evan shouts from under the water, kicking his feet frantically.
Click, goes Pietro's camera.
Beast, then, scrubs Evan's butt with the brush instead.
Pietro takes another picture.
While Evan is barely able to drag himself out of the water,Toad is still making fun, "Ha! Next thing ya know she'll be tying your hair up in pink ribbons and smelling you up with that stuff called perfume!" He spits out the chewed part of the wheat stalk as if it were tobacco.
"And just what it wrong with pink ribbons!" Tabby says glaring.
"Yeah!" Kitty says.
"Everything!" Raven growls. "Now stick to the script before I give you nightmares so bad that you can never look at a pink hair ribbon again!"
The mutants go back to washing. Beast is drying his glasses carefully when Kitty shakes like a dog to dry her hair and soaks both him and his glasses.
Spyke hits himself in the head to get the water out of his ears. Then, he shakes his head and hears water sloshing around.
"Guess his head's that empty," Logan says, trying to hide a chuckle.
"Sadly, yes," Storm answers.
"Auntie O!" Evan cries out.
"Well, you can't expect me to lie about such a thing!" Ororo protests.
"As much as we all could listen to Evan's shortcomings all day. . ." Raven says.
"Let's get on with the play," Lightning finishes.
Evan, glaring at his aunt, sticks his finger in his mouth and blows. The water comes shooting out.
"Funny how that didn't take any special effects. . ." Forge mutters.
Tabby can't see, so, she grabs the first thing she touches to dry her face off with. It happens to be the back of Jean's undershirt.
Kurt can't see either and grabs the front of Jean's top shirt to dry off his face. This causes Jean to lift up off the ground. When they're done, they drop her painfully on the ground.
"A fine bunch of waterlilies you turned out to be, yo!" Toad says to them from his barrel. Beast glares at him. "I'd like to see anybody make me wash, if I didn't wanna!"
"We'd all like to see that!" Lance shouts from off stage.
"And you will, if you stop interrupting!" Raven growls. Toad whimpers.
Hank clears his throat and motions for the others. They gather in a football-esque huddle. Beast whispers and points at Toad, who doesn't seem to notice. Kitty looks up and laughs. Evan looks up and smiles dumbly. Kitty reaches up and grabs his head and drags him back into the huddle.
Whistling, they make their way to surround Toad, who notices to late.
"Get him," Hank says calmly.
Toad tries to hop away, but he is held in place by Raven's telekinesis and the others quickly grab onto his arms and legs. He is kicking and screaming. "Help! Help! Don't do this! The water will kill me! Help!"
Raven shrugs, it's not in the script, but it works.
"Get him to the tub!" Beast cries, "Get him to the tub!" They start carrying him towards the horse trough.
"Let me loose, you fools!" Toad hollers, "Let me loose!"
"Get him up into the tub!" Beast orders, "get him over in the dub, tub! Don't get excited!"
They manage to get him in and in the process, Evan falls and rolls over onto Beast. He lands with his arms around Beast's neck and he looks up at him lovingly.
Beast pushes him off and orders through clenched teeth, "Get the soap!" Then he runs off stage and throws up. They pause the cameras until he returns. "I'm sorry about that," he says to Raven and Lightning.
"No worries, we'd have done the same thing," Raven says. Lightning nods in agreement.
The play continues, as Evan nods at Beast and goes to get the soap. But he trips and gets up and runs past the soap. He stops, goes back and gets it, but it slips out of his hands ten times.
"Steady, men," Beast says to those who are holding the tortured Toad in the water.
The soap lands on Evan's head and bounces off. He sneaks up on it and pounces on it. That only causes it to slip out of his hands and bounce off of Jean's butt and down Evan's throat, nearly choking him, but it goes down. "Did we have to use real soap?" he asks, feeling sick.
Raven's eyes glow yellow and Lightning answers. "Once again, Evan, you have a non-speaking part! Don't talk!"
"Sheesh, never mind," he groans, really feeling sick. He pretends not to notice the fact that he just swallowed an entire bar of soap and looks around for the missing soap. He can't find it of course. He hiccups and bubbles come out of his mouth. He keeps looking around until he hiccups bubbles again. He pats his stomach and feels the bar of soap. He keeps hiccuping bubbles and feeling sicker and sicker.
During all of this the others are scrubbing Toad's face and laughing. Tabby washes his hair. Kurt and Jean hold him down. Kitty scrubs his forehead and Beast scrubs his teeth. They are all singing.
Evan is still hiccuping bubbles. One hiccups is so hard that his shirt comes up over his head and the bubble lifts his hat. The bubble pops and the hat lands on his head.
By this time they are tying blue bows into Todd's hair.
"Ain't he sweet?" Beast says.
Tabby sniffs and says, "Smells like a petunia."
Kitty places a wreath of flowers in his hair and announces, "He sure is cute."
"You'll pay dearly for this!" Toad screams, meaning ever word.
Rogue taps the spoon against the pot and calls out, "Suppeh!"
"Supper!" Beast says happily.
"Food! Hurray!" the others says, dropping toad in the trough and making Scott squirm against the bonds that hold him to the floor.
"Brrr! Brrr! Brrr!" Toad screams. When he sits up he says, "Hmph!"
"And cut!" Raven shouts. "You all make me sick!"
"No body loves me!" Evan cries, running to his dressing room.
Everyone looks at Storm.
She sighs, "Fine all go after him." She says and wanders after the mini Spyke.
"And somebody do something about that!" Lightning yells, pointing at Scott. Jean goes to him.
"Why?" Raven asks, "It's fun to watch."
"Remind me why I'm marrying you again?" Lightning asks her.
"Because I said so," she says glaring.
"Oh that's a good reason. . ." he mutters.
"Lawrence Anthony Welsh!" she shouts, "If you don't remember everything we've been through, I'll make you remember!"
"Well, it could be worse," Remy mutters, watching Raven chase Lightning, who's laughing at her.
"How so?" Rogue asks.
"It could be us fighting. . ." he says.
"I must agree vith that," Piotr says picking up the Mini Shadowcat and putting her around his neck the way you'd carry a toddler. She hugs his head and kissing it. He smiles at her.
"I don't know. . ." Rogue says.
"At least if it vere you two, only half ze set vould be destroyed," Mini Kurt says, wincing as another part of the set is destroyed.
"Well, t'at's true," Remy agrees. "So, Roguey, want some coffee?"
"Sure!" And they head off the set to find some. Two seconds later, Rogue comes back in to change her outfit. "It's not funny, Cajun!"
Remy follows laughing. "Uh, huh, Remy'll let you believe t'at. . ."
And this is a good time to leave. . .
A/N: Hope you liked that. I thought it was rather funny. Sorry it took so long, I've just got no time lately. In between raising two kids and a husband, and being pregnant and my other obligations, but no worries, the evil parody will continue! And with shorter chapters I think.
Next up! Mystique finds out that Rogue's still alive and plots her revenge.
Please review. . .