Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven and Lightning.
Reviews:
To sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: Thank you very much. Glad it makes sense now. Lol! Alright, alright I give up! See author's note.
To YinYangPisces: Thank you. Yup, Toad needed one badly. That's why he got the part. Lol. Not really, just usual Raven stuff. Lightning loves her, he knows it. Lol. There's actually a very long story to that.
To Kyo-Kitty: Thank you. Pyro? Um, hun, Pyro wasn't in that scene. . . Perhaps you thought you were reviewing the Rogue Bride? Lol. Thanks, we're very excited.
To Cat2Fat900: Yes, and Evan is shorter than all the rest. Lol. (insert evil laughter) Glad you enjoyed Scott's attempted suicide. Lol. I know I sure did. Lol. Like I said, it was Disney's first movie, so I suppose they are allowed to make a mistake of it. (hands you doubles of Pietro's pictures) For blackmailing purposes. Lol. All year. . . hmm, a fic all about the shortcomings of Evan. . . could be a real big hit. Lol. Ha you can't say Bella Donna! Ha ha ha ha ha!Thank you very much! SFWD!
A/N: Alright, alright, I give up! Due to popular demand. . . .You will all be happy to note that after my next three parodies (Thumbelina, Labyrinth, and Pirates of the Caribbean) I will be parodying the Disney trilogy of Aladdin. But don't expect it until after Christmas 2005, because my son is getting the second 2 movies on DVD as Christmas presents.
This story is dedicated to Kyo-Kitty, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .
And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .
Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.
Scene 6: A Clever Disguise
Remy whispers something into Rogue's ear. She smiles and laughs.
"Give up yet?" Kitty asks her.
"Give up what?" Rogue asks.
"Trying to, like, prove you aren't dating Gambit?" Mini Kitty asks.
"Oh go jump off a cliff!" Rogue groans. "We ain't dating."
"We did go out for coffee, chere. . ." Remy laughs.
"A friend can't buy anotheh friend coffee without it being a date?" she asks.
"So, you admit we're friends now, do you?" Remy grins.
Rogue starts banging her head against the wall.
"Okay, places! Places!" Lightning shouts.
Sabretooth grabs Scott and hangs him on the hook by the belt again.
Click, click, click! Pietro's camera works quickly.
"Lights! Camera! Action!" Raven calls.
The camera films a dark castle. It zooms in closer and closer.
The scene changes to a close up of the rather ornate box, Mystique is holding that supposedly contains Rogue's heart.
The camera pans out while Mystique says, "Cyclops, Cyclops on the wall, who now is the fairest one of all?"
Scott, glowering from his place on the hook, answers, "Over the seven jeweled hills, beyond the seven falls, in the cottage of the seven mutants, dwells Rogue White, fairest one of all."
"Rogue White lies dead in the forest. The Wolverine has brought me her heart as proof." She opens the box and shows Cyclops. "Behold, her heart."
Technically, inside the box is a little note that says "Gotcha."
"Rogue White still lives, the fairest in the land. It the heart of a pig you hold in your hand."
Mystique glares at the box and slams the lid shut. "The heart of a pig! Then, I've been tricked!." She proceeds to walk off the set angrily. She reappears at the top of a staircase and keeps walking down it angrily.
A few IAR rats see her coming and hide. One of them explodes.
"Forge!" everyone yells.
Scott, still stuck on his hook, starts saying "Foo-ba," over and over, while trying to dial his new therapist's phone number.
"Sorry," Forge saying, shrugging.
After Mystique is done glaring at Forge, she enters a room and slams the door. An IAR Raven, which is sitting on a plastic skull, looks scared at the noise.
"The heart of a pig!" Mystique hollers, throwing the box to the ground. "The blundering fool!"
The IAR Raven jumps at the noise of the box hitting the floor.
"I'll go myself to the mutant's cottage," she holds her finger up as if she just got a brilliant idea, "in a disguise so complete no one will ever suspect." She pulls out a book, the title of which is "Disguises," and starts flipping through the pages. "Now, a formula to transform my beauty into ugliness, change my Queenly raiment to a peddler's cloak."
Speaking of which, the camera focuses on the book, it reads, "Peddler's Disguise. Formula: Mummy dust, Black of Night, Old Hag's Cackle, Scream of Fright."
Mystique reads it and starts putting together the formula, "Mummy Dust, to make me old." She holds a goblet of water. "To shroud my clothes, the Black of Night." She holds a test tube of black food coloring and pours it into the goblet. The water turns black. "To age my voice, an Old Hag's Cackle." She turns the fire on over a beaker of red colored water and it begins to boils. Changing her voice to sound old, she laughs, making it sound as if the laugh is coming from the water. The water boils up into a elaborate set of tubing and ends up dropping into the water. Pietro quickly exchanges goblets to make it look like the water turned red and started boiling. "To whiten my hair, a Scream of Fright." She turns a nob and baking soda pours into the water, making it bubble over. At the same time, Pietro screams a very girlish high-pitched scream. When the bubbles calm down, he exchanges it for a green glass. "A Blast of Wind, to fan my hate," she says into her reflection in the glass. She holds the glass to the window and Storm creates a huge wind. "A Lightning Bolt, to mix it well." And at this point, Storm creates a lightning bolt. It misses and hit Mystique instead of the water goblet. She goes flying across the set and lands on her butt. "You idiot! Who taught you to aim? Wolverine?"
"Hey, let's not get personal here," says Wolverine, who could very easily come up with a few personal things to spout back at her.
"Who said I missed?" Ororo says, smirking.
"Why you little. . ." Mystique starts.
"Stop this right now!" Raven shouts. "You are worse than the children!" She says pointing at Lance and Piotr, who are once again fighting over the Mini Kitty, and Rogue and Remy, who are still fighting about whether they are dating or not, and at Roberto and Ray, who are fighting over who knows what.
"There's a play to get on!" Lightning calls.
"Well, I, for one, can't stand up right now!" Mystique says.
"Great. . ." Raven groans. "Lightning, go help her."
"Will do," and a few minutes later, Mystique is ready to preform.
"And now, let's restart this thing!" Raven growls.
This time the lightning bolt hits the water instead. "Now, begin thy magic spell." She takes a drink and gags on the water and baking soda mixture. She eventually is able to swallow the nasty tasting concoction. She drops the empty glass as the room starts to spin. This is accomplished by having Mystique stand on a stable piece of the stage while the rest is rotating. Pietro starts off slowly and increases to a run. Soon, Mystique is very dizzy.
She gasps for air. She shifts her hair to turn it white. Her hands shift into an old lady's complete with warts. "Look, my hands!"
"Who's got the warts now? Huh? Huh?" Mini Toad exclaims. At Raven and Lightning's glares, he quickly adds, "Okay, shutting up now."
The camera focuses on her shadow as she shifts into the rest off the peddler's disguise. Her voice changes as she says, "My voice, my voice!" She cackles evilly while hiding her hideous new face behind the sleeve of her new peddler's cloak. The room stops spinning and Pietro falls over, completely dizzy. "A perfect disguise!" she exclaims, moving her arm and revealing her hideousness to the IAR Raven, who jumps and falls into the plastic skull. Her eyes are like saucers, large and out of place. Her nose is hooked with one wart, right on top. Her mouth opens in a huge grin, where only one tooth is hanging on for dear life. She looks dreadful.
Rogue shudders and whispers to Gambit, "Oh, look Remy, her face matches her heart."
Gambit stifles a laugh and just puts his arm around Rogue, who pretends not to notice.
The IAR Raven peeks out of the skull. It's beck pops through the nose hole and one eye stares out of the eye hole in the plastic skull.
Mystique pulls another book from the bookshelf. "And now a special soft of death for one so fair." She starts flipping through the pages muttering as she goes, until she finds the perfect spell. "Aah!"
This scares the poor IAR Raven again and it jumps back, skull and all.
"The poisoned apple." She begins to read, "Sleeping Death. One taste of the poisoned apple and the victims eyes will close forever in the Sleeping Death."
The camera focuses on her evil smirk.
"And cut." Lightning calls.
"I hate to admit it, but Mystique actually did an okay job. . ." Raven says lightly.
"That's because she's scared of you," her boyfriend reminds her.
"Who isn't?" Raven says, grinning evilly.
"Hey, the special effects rocked!" Jaime says.
Raven pats him on the top of the head. Jaime hates that, as much as every kid hates being condescended too. "Thank you, Little one." She says.
"Ah thought ya didn't like kids?" Rogue tells her.
"I don't," she says with an even eviler grin. "I thought you and Gambit weren't dating." She says nodding her head at his arm, which is still around her.
"Oh, brotheh," Rogue says and shakes his arm off. "We ain't."
"Remy beg ta differ, cherie."
"Fer the last time, Ah ain't your darlin'!" Rogue shouts.
"Yeah, right," half the crew says.
"Help me!" Scott screams from his place on the hook. "The synchronized sentences are killing me," he screams into the phone. There is a click and it's obvious the therapist has hung up.
"Well, so much for that," Xavier says to Magneto.
"Indeed," in the answer.
"Hey, shouldn't we get him down?" Logan asks.
Raven thinks about it, "Nah, let's just leave him."
Everyone shrugs and leaves. We'll go too, and leave Scott hanging.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed that one. A little shorter than the last few. Okay, so here's the deal. Due to the lovely Hurricane Rita (sarcasm here folks), my life is about to get even more chaotic. My in-laws are appearing at my doorstop tonight and I don't know how long they are going to stay. This means, I won't get a chance to write the next chapter of Rogue White for a little while because, they are going to be here 90 of the time. And so, no writing down notes during Snow White or any other Parody that happens to be on VHS (Thumbelina and Labyrinth). . . ugh. Forgive me, but I can't control the weather. If they are too long, and I have no time to watch the movies at all, I'll try looking up a script on the net or skipping to Pirates of the Caribbean, which I have on DVD and can watch in my room. Ugh, so much for privacy. Lol. But, I'd rather have no privacy then attend the funeral of my children's grandparents.
Please review. . .