Under These Pine Trees, Under This Sun

It has been a long, long day. And a very tireful one too..

As I lay in my favourite field of tall grass with my hands stretched behind my head, I sigh.

My eyes droop shut and I sigh again, feeling as washed out as a wrung ball of wet clothing come straight from the wash. As wrung out as when I came back from school, those every days of my life.. With not one exception.

I'm only human, and although you don't know it, what more do you want?

Me, dead.

So you're gonna take that half dried, tearstained bundle of cloth and shred it apart, are you?

And how in seven hells do you plan to do it better than you have already!

I'm getting hysterical. I should calm down..

After all, they wouldn't want to see a crazy, sobbing monster come rushing back to mummy, would they?

Not that that would ever happen anyways, 'cause I dont' have a mummy.

I don't have no daddy or sisters or little brothers to take care of.

I would've killed them all anyways...

I'm getting drowsy, my thoughts start to slur..

I shouldn't let myself sleep,

Who knows what- could- h-a-p- p- e- n...

Screams and darkness.

Is this a memory?

Mine, or Kyuubi's?

An occasional flash of light in this thick, encompassing darkness. I want to get out, but there is no floor, and there is no ladder. This is reality in a dream.

My heart is lost, and my tears are bottled. Not worth much..

I'm five years old again, still too short for my age, maybe it's 'cause I didn't get food most nights. And scavenging didn't taste so good too.. You get hit by them chasing you away. It hurt.

I don't know why no body didnt' notice the rips in my shirt, or the missmatched socks..

Or the dirt in my hair, or the blood under my nails, or my stained, shiny cheeks, or..

Whatever.

I've run out of tears.

I've forgotten what a smile is, now that I've forgotten what innocence is.

Monster. Freak. Uslesslying AAAGH!

They told me.

A change in the desparing black, I frown.

Why the change?

Wondering why black always represents desesperation in stories..

Serenity it is too.

A double edged blade,

Just like silence.

One: Peace, quiet of thoughts,

Two: The heavy, pit-in-the-stomach, freezing of death.

Icicles fade,

I feel fur.

Is this my mother, or Kyuubi's, I wonder, as a soft flutey melody mingles with singing.

A woman's voice.

Mum?

Baby's gurgles, a child laughs,

Fabric rusltes.

A tinkling, sunny laugh, serenity lies in white this time.

Perhaps it was the colour of her dress.

No one ever told me if she was a fairytale.

A cheep sounds with the gurgling of the spring brook,

I feel the stiffness of the warmth on my face,

I try not to remember that I am waking up.

I slowly lie there, as water trickles into my ears, pearling in my daffodil coloured eyelashes.

It always tastes of salt, but this time,

This time...

Water has bubbled into my living heart.

I am alive..

Under These Pine Trees,

Under This Sun,

Understanding of all,

Unity for one.