Mountain Mine
Quiet reflection follows me now, calming my blood and heart as I sit upon the old, rough stone Hokage monument, contemplating the far-reaching landscape that lies stretched out below my feet. It seems somewhat childish to see the town below me and feel powerful, as if I were king of the sand castle in the playground again. And this time, there is no person around me that could possibly stamp his or her sandaled feet on top of my tiny, proud sandcastle. My lips curve into a lopsided, wry smile at my childish thoughts. It is fun to reminisce.
But it would be lies to say that it hurts no one to still think back to what is past.
However,
Mistakes can be learnt,
Yet epiphany seldom comes.
I do not want to stand up and stretch out like I usually do, chasing away the cramps that result from sitting for so long. I still want to see the quiet night sky and it's collection of stars, contrasting with the nightlife of the city awakening slowly for another round. Pubs and stands, some more or less respectable than others slowly coming alight with neon and electricity. So I stay seated, watching my home pensively from my perch.
Konoha also contrasts loudly with the forest surrounding it.
It's a City, hidden in the leaves.
I distantly wonder if I too am hiding somewhere, but what is there to hide behind over here? Bare rock and sparse parches of grass are dotted here and there, and I'm on the very edge of the monument, by the sculpture of Tsunade's head. It still isn't quite finished, not quite come to life..
Perhaps she will outlast the Third?
I am doubtful, torn between two poles.
The other sculptures stare blindly ahead into the distance, watching over their city. The one they lived and died for. Distant snatches of noise reach my sharp ears, pulled towards me by the buffeting wind. My hair dances and sways, unrestrained; my hitai-ate lies next to me, my hand covering it protectively. The metal is cold, and my fingers feel just the same, but I know the metal underneath my hand will be warm. Strange, isn't it?
I shiver, my zipper clinking a gentle sound. Perhaps I should get moving.. Someone might worry if I am gone too long. If Iruka had realized where I had been hiding- no away at for so long, he certainly would worry. And besides, steamy-hot ramen sounds pretty good right about now. I am relaxed, and although my extremities are numb, I feel warm, somewhere…
Perhaps it is because I have accepted something.
And although people say that you feel better when you talk about it, I have not done anything but sit and think and remember, up on the old Hokage monument, my hair whipped away from my face by the wind.
I have done nothing physical, proved nothing to no one, and yet…
I once read in a book a wise saying. A saying that said that a king shouldn't need to show off his power at every opportunity. That this king should in fact hide that he is the ruler, and let the people approach him, to know him for what he really is.
Have I done that? I ask myself, Could I possibly be that king, or am I just kidding myself again, putting too much sand on my tiny sandcastle, adding more than what it is worth?
But also, haven't I been looking for the meaningless adoration I see everywhere, people lying to prove an empty point, fake niceness? I sit and ponder, letting the sun -still high in the sky- warm me up.
Perhaps I should ignore what the common have said, that fame and adoration are things to be found wanting… Perhaps I should, instead of looking above the shallow surface, sink into these seldom-seen windows and look for that quiet respect. The one nobody notices.
I smile quietly, barely noticing the cold wind anymore. It is time to go now, I think. Time to go and look for my own path. One that I shall sweat and cry and bleed for.. One that I already have done.
I stretch, hearing my spine creak. I feel old, but now it is time to get down from this mountain. It is time to go home to my little apartment and the ramen stand, leaving behind -but not forgetting- thoughts of my little, tiny sandcastle.
Remember that mistakes can be learnt from,
That the previous thought still offers thinking,
And that no matter what,
Forward is just another name for living life.
Be Proud, soldier,
Seek Peace.
Honor.