A/N: song to start out this chappy... Ashlee Simpson- "Beautifully Broken"
another song Lindsay Lohan- "Confessions of a Broken Heart"
Chapter 44
It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry It feels like tomorrow I may not get by
But I will try I will try
Wipe the tears from my eyes I'm beautifully broken And I don't mind if you know it I'm beautifully broken And I don't care if I show it
Everyday is a new day I'm reminded of the past Every time there's another storm I know that it won't last Every moment I'm filled with hope cause I got another chance
But I will try I will try
Got nothing Left to hide I'm beautifully broken And I don't mind if you know it I'm beautifully broken And I don't care if I show it
Without the highs and the lows Where would we go Where would we go I'm beautifully broken And I don't mind if you know it I'm beautifully broken And I don't care if I show it
I am beautifully broken.
and I don't care if I show it...
Kagome held tightly, her hands clasped around a small item in her palms as she stared out a dark window. The room was faded- as was the kimono she wore. Everything was bathed in a dusky glow of dim, retreating light. A figure moved about the shadows, finally coming up behind her as she stared distantly- placing his hands on her shoulders, gently whispering in her ear. "..what? ...I don't understand..." She turned slowly- her lips meeting his in a short, sweet kiss. She smiled up at the Lord of the Western Lands, her eyes drifting with a sigh- catching a glimpse of Inuyasha looking at her from the corner of the darkness with a stoic gaze on his scarred face. Her expression turned pained as she broke from Sesshomaru's arms and backed away, clutching tighter to the tiny objects in her grasp.
She looked down as the last remnants of light were washed away, her brown hues tracing two small keys twisted of silver and black that seemed to glow faintly within her fingers. They were important...something about them was important to her, she could feel it. She closed her fists around them again and held them close. A voice echoed to her faintly, whispering to her as she began to loose her grip on the precious jewels. "You are unfinished..." She desperately tried to regain her hold, but the enchanted keys were disappearing. "No- Konomi- You wretched demon! Leave me be!" She grabbed at the air violently.
At this moment she became coherent- her fingers grasping at the darkness of her own room. "Another nightmare..." She sighed, throwing her feet over her bedside in frustration. It was dark out...she had slept through yet another day, waking only to the dreams that haunted her memory. She had been doing that often...it seemed sleeping was the only thing she could bare to do. She pushed herself up, leaving the hut and heading stealthily toward her comrades hut.
She stood outside the door, listening to a meeting within that was obviously about her. She rolled her eyes as she pulled her kimono closer. They had been having alot of conversations about her lately, and even though they thought they were private, she had listened to most of them.
"...maybe it was another demoness...like Nanashi...I mean, we've discussed that possibility before but-" "No Sango- its different...its as if something horribly traumatic has occured..." Miroku sighed, thinking deeply. "I haven't seen her this bad since Inuyasha died...its as if she has lost her very will to live..." "I don't understand what could have- " Inuyasha's sentence trailed as he sniffed the air slightly. He got up from his seat at the fire and went to the door- pulling back the cover quickly and looking into the empty darkness. "Inuyasha? Something wrong?" Miroku raised a brow, looking at Sango a moment before Inuyasha came back to his postition in front of the flames anxiously. "Forget it...I thought-"
Kagome smirked, catiously coming from around the corner. She ran her fingers back through her hair, then she eagerly jogged to the forest. She ran through the darkness, a veil of anger and solitude coursing through her- everything was building up- her friends, her memories, even her dreams were betraying her...all because of him. She reached the clearing, the bone-eater's well sat in the middle, breaking her run as she caught her hands against it, stopping her sprints abruptly.
"KONOMI! Come out here! I'll kill you- if its the last thing I ever do- I'm gonna make you regret the day you took my life away!" Her fist slammed against the aged wood of the beaten well, her hues studied the darkness of the well, as if trying to unlock its cryptic secret.
"Whats all this about? I brought you back...you said you wanted to go home and that is where I brought you...What more do you wish?" She turned to his silk voice- seeing his figure behind her, as if some distant memory, or dream made reality. "You...- what do I wish? I want things back to the way they were! I want to forget these burdens you've placed on me for your own amusement!"
"My amusement? You think those things I showed you were only games?" She stared daggers into him as he continued, almost unwilling to listen- she had to restrain every piece of herself from purifying him...or at least giving it a shot. "Stupid girl- You never listen...these were warnings...paths you didn't take...every miko looks upon the past with regret or sorrow...wondering what could have happened- how things would have ended up...its called doubt..." "No its called being human!" Kagome retorted with a vicious tone. "Exactly! You may doubt other things...but you must never doubt your chosen path! Miko's who look upon the past with regret or doubt end up dead or worse...You must forget all of this and finish your journey. Once its done you may not understand it all...but regret is not something you can afford- not if you value your life or the lives of your friends..."
"Wha- What?" "What do you think happened to all the mikos that came before...Kikyo's life was very unhappy...she always wanted to be normal and regret haunted her until the day she died. Midoriko, on the other hand, loved to help the people of her time- and consequence or regret rarely weighed her down...thats how she became one of the most powerful mikos to ever live..." Kagome rolled her eyes- becoming frustrated and bored with the circles she always seemed to be running. "I'm tired of this Konomi...my soul, my will...it grows weary of this life...what do you want from me? I've given everything short of my life to protect this world..."
Konomi smiled slightly. "And if you finish this task...it will no longer be your burden to carry...You can be free to love and live as you have before...this journey is a reminder of what you have- not what you lost...believe me...in the future- you will gain two very prominent reminders of love..." Kagome looked at him strangely, agreeing to return with him- pondering his statement in the back of her mind.
"So...will I be losing time again?" She raised a brow as he approached her. "No...you have already paid your tithe for this journey once...I will bring you back to this exact moment if you so wish..." Kagome bit her lip as Konomi took her hand, turning toward the well.
"KAGOME!" Kagome's head snapped to the forest as she balanced on the edge of the well. "Inuyasha..." Her words trailed as Inuyasha rushed toward her- his face angered by the unusual demon beside her. "Goodbye Inuyasha..." She turned her back as Konomi pulled her inside the sacred well, disappearing as Inuyasha leaped in after her, however, to his suprise- it refused to work for him. "Stupid girl...get back here!"
Unfortunately, Kagome was much too far away to hear Inuyasha's cries. It was a different Kagome, however, who was entering these trials than the one who had emerged before. Her eyes had began to glaze with the cold frost they once gleamed with, and her heart was touched with the stoic walls that Inuyasha had worked so hard to bring down. She would look upon these worlds with an expressionless and distant mind, holding them as nothing but exactly what Konomi had reffered to them as...warnings...mere ghosts of another life.
Konomi's feet hit the ground first, his hand still wrapped in hers as he looked up, watching her float to the ground as the walls of the well faded to a room which was draped in cloth. Kagome looked around a few moments before recognizing the two occupants stashed away in the corner. She was there- resting on Sesshomaru's chest...both of them tangled in the blankets and furs that piled in the corner like a nesting bed. The same content look was plastered across there faces in the darkness.
This time, Kagome didn't shy away from the scene- she walked closer with an unchanged expression, examining the two- searching for information or answers of some kind. Nothing came. Only a still darkness that was unchanged by the illumination of the moon or the drifting shadows. Kagome looked back at Konomi- his pale figure draped in overlapping shadows. "You said...I mean, before- you said that this place was different...and you didn't know why...what's so different about it? Is this the only place where Sesshomaru and I...I mean-" Her words trailed as Konomi looked back to the couple who were falling asleep.
"No...its not that...there are many worlds were you ended up with someone else...but many things in this world are different from the rest... for instance, it is a rarity that Kikyo did not meet her fate- she survives in this world for quite sometime...but what makes this world unusual and sets it apart from the rest is you...in this world- you are immortal. I can't explain it...but you live for a very long time by Sesshomaru's side...much longer than you could as a normal human."
Kagome smirked slightly. "It would be nice to know how I managed that..." Konomi seemed to scoff- as though he did approve. "It is argued that Sesshomaru used his Tenseiga to keep you from death and time itself...it has also been said that you became part demon of your own free will to stay by his side- so he would never be alone..." Kagome's eyes lowered, deep in thought. "I guess I really must love him, huh?...like I love Inuyasha..."
Konomi pushed back his long flowing locks- his hand taking hers as he lead her away. "Come miko...we have a new destination..." He led her away- new scenes crossing their path as they entered another lifetime.
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Pictures lined shelves of the present day home. Kagome's home.
"Namiko! Hey Namiko- I'm going out for a while...You gonna be okay here by yourself until your mom gets back?" The young girl raced down the steps in her red school uniform, waves of her illustrious black hair flowing over her shoulders as she began leaning against the stairwell, watching the man leave. "Of course Uncle Sota- Mom will be home in a couple hours...I'm like 16...completely capable of handling it..." She smiled slightly. He laughed. "Alright...but please- try not to give your mom a hard time..." She sighed, her smile somewhat fading. "Its just that..."
Before another word was said, he was out the door- leaving the teen to herself. Her fingers went to the necklace that was hanging from her neck- a half orb of a light pink color that her mother had given her. Appparently, her father had the other half...yet her mother refused to speak of him. Her unusually light ember eyes drifted to the door. She was a normal teen- she went to an average school with average friends, all of which told her how lucky she was. Every boy in school wanted her- she had the most beautiful hues, often changing from the lightest ember gold, to the deepest faded violet. Her hair was just as radiant- giving off a shimmering silver tone among its long black tresses. Most everyone said she looked just like her mother, but her mother said she was just like her father in every way...
She sighed- she needed to think...she was so mad at her mother- she just needed to scream...they had fought about her father again last night. She walked out the door, past the sacred tree and up to the well house. She remembered coming in here as a child- hiding from her mother who hated it when she played near the aged well.
Her mother didn't speak ill of her father- actually, she spoke highly of him, and claimed to be in love with him to this day. That was impossible- if she loved him- why wasn't she with him! Why wasn't her family together? Why wouldn't her mother tell her who or where or father was!
She sighed, pulling back the door to the nostalgic room. She often had dreams of this place...dreams of falling into the well and leaving this world behind- drifting through a portal to her father's arms. She clutched the precious jewel around her neck...her heart sinking as her other hand went down- the tips of her fingers trailing over the sealed wood- sacred sutras placed all along the top of the boards.
"Where are you!" Tears began running down her cheeks as she bit her lip.
I wait for the postman to bring me a letter I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders A family in crisis that only grows older
Why'd you have to go
Why'd you have to go
Why'd you have to go
Namiko threw her fist against the wall. She didn't understand- he hadn't been there- never...all she had was a faded memory of his voice from when she was a child...that, and a hand full of nightmares about her and her mother leaving behind somewhere...
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am broken but I am hoping
Daughter to father, daughter to father I am crying, a part of me is dying and
These are, these are The confessions of a broken heart
And I wear all your old clothes, your polo sweater I dream of another you The one who would never (never)
Leave me alone to pick up the pieces A daddy to hold me, that's what I needed
So why'd you have to go
Why'd you have to go
Why'd you have to go!
She backed into the corner, staring down at the well before her. Her fault! It was all her fault! Wasn't it? Or maybe it was him- maybe he left her... Did he ever love her? She didn't even know...she had never met him! She blindly began ripping board from the top of the well, small sparks of violet coming from the seals as they disappeared- one by one, diintegrating as she broke away each board. She didn't know why- she didn't care- she just felt compelled to rip something apart...destroy something...make something pay for her pain!
Daughter to father, daughter to father I don't know you, but I still want to Daughter to father, daughter to father Tell me the truth, did you ever love me Cause these are, these are The confessions of a broken heart
I love you, I love you I love you I!
I love you!
Daughter to father, daughter to father I don't know you, but I still want to Daughter to father, daughter to father Tell me the truth.
Did you ever love me?
Did you ever love me?
These are.
The confessions...of a broken heart
Ohhh...yeah
I wait for the postman to bring me a letter..
Finally- the last rotting board was forced away and thrown violently to the well house floor. It was a task that almost seemed impossible for a young girl of her size, but she had always been very gifted in athletics- she was the fastest, most agile, and strongest girl in the school...actually- she was better at most sports than even the boys. But that sorta thing never concerned her much. Now- she looked down at her work, wiping away her tears as she rolled her eyes. "Mom is gonna kill me...for sure..."
She sighed, leaning against the wooden lip as her bangs fell around her face. She opened her eyes slowly, staring into the darkness below with remorse. Just as she was about to turn back to the house- her ember hues caught sight of a small light glowing deep inside the well.
"Wha...what is that?" Her hand went to the charm on her neck- noticing the soft pink glow that illuminated it as well. Her curiousity got the better of her- so without hesitation she sat on the aged boards- her feet dangling over the uncertain darkness...finally- she pushed herself off...slipping down to the bottom with a soft thud.
She kept her eyes on the soft pink glow that only seemed to get farther away, even as she felt her feet hit the ground, it seemed farther than when she was on the surface looking in. She reached down, suddenly feeling her feet begin to give way as the ground disappeared. She wanted to chase the pale light- but curiosity was giving way to fear. "What- What the- " She let out a short cry before her fall came to a halt, hitting the ground rather hard.
"Ugh...where..." She roused to her senses after being unconsious for what seemed like days. "A dream...I should have known better than to go down this old well- ow...my head..." She sat up slowly, rolling her eyes and grudgingly climbing from the well, forgetting why she even risked coming down in the first place. She sighed as she got to the top of the dark hole- hitting her head on a board as she held tightly to the vines and crevaces that lines the walls. "What the- Where did this come from? ...Don't tell me Souta sealed it again already...without even checking the bottom! Baka...I must have been knocked out for hours...mom is going to be furious..."
Her arm pounded violently against the imprisoning boards- her forearm slamming into them until they finally gave way- careful not to lose her grip. However, as the boards broke away and she was freed- light from the sun flooded in, opening up to the clear blue sky. She climbed out, looking around in shock at the meadow she had ended up in...surrounded by a forest she had never seen. "I must have hit my head WAY too hard...or maybe I'm still unconsious at the bottom of the well..." She looked back down into the dark well- remembering the small light she had seen.
"Whatever it was...its gone now..." She looked around, standing to her feet as she dusted off her deep red uniform skirt. She held tightly to her jewel as she bit her lip. "Now what..." She sighed, walking into the forest casually, taking in the beautiful surrounding until she came to a familiar tree. "The sacred tree! ...Or at least- it looks like the sacred tree...but..." Her fingers traced the wood carefully.
"Hey You! Get away from there!" Namiko turned suddenly as she heard a voice from the shadows, not sure where it was coming from.
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Well...like it? I'm trying to make it interesting again by telling the world in another point of view besides Kagome's and Konomi's...they are still watching- just more like ominously...like it better this way? I'm still playing with it, so let me know...I like writing it like this better- this way I don't have to get dragged down by placing two extra characters in the background and giving their commentary and thoughts...I think it flows better...and yes- if you haven't gotten it- Namiko is Inuyasha & Kagome's daughter...
Here's your translations, as always...
matte- wait
Otousan- father
jinseikouro-path of one's life
Konomi-his name means "choice"