A/N: Hi there! Yeah, I know nobody's reading this, but I keep going anyway because I really like it.
Thanks for every review I got!

The Head

Chapter 5 - There he goes...

Her thoughts were interrupted so gruffly her eyes almost popped out. For a moment she was not sure whether it was the fat mayor or rather her sercant girl, but the person in the door was too thin to be the mayor. Do dead people lose weight? 'Man, what did he do? Muscle excercises?', she thought and blinked. The shape of the anonymus slowly cleared up and she now ould have auctioned her too attractive butt in case somebody would be so stupid to bet on the person in the door being the mayor - and her butt really meant something to her.

'That's not the mayor!', she thought and stepped closer to the door to finally find out whether she'd run in danger of losing her butt. Then she realized nobody bet with her and a disappointed sigh sounded through the room.

"Lady, do you feel fine?", a some kind of familiar voice reached her. She giggled again. Hah! Finally! It was the Hessian, the Ichabod of her dreams - the smile vanished and was replaced by an anguished smirk. (A/N: I am sure if the Lady lived in 2005, she'd definitely tip on her watch reproachfully.) Ichabod - well, the Hessian - tried a puppy-eyes-and-pseudosweet-charming-smile-face, but soon it got through to him that it would take more than just showing his bright teeth to her to calm her down.

"Is something wrong, Lady?", he asked innocently. Suddenly the coulds she had seen all the time disappeared and her face heatened up. Her hysteric cry of bewilderment slapped him in the face. He twitched and felt the urge to turn around and vanish, or, even better, take off his new head, throw it at her and then vanish. She'd have something to do before she would give his pursuite a thought. Until then he'd be with the seven dwarfes and snow-white. "I presume you had something important coming up," she squeaked and her voice cracked. He decided it was better to remain silent. Obviously she thought differently.

"Speak up, my hero, my pleasure at night, the dumb ass that is too much of a chicken to show up to fulfill his duties -", she stopped and waited for him to save his 'ass'. He did really not know what was going to hit him. He cleared his throat and pulled a bag from behind his back.

"Well, I - um - I - heh ... Alrighty ... I fulfilled my duties."

"Ah, so you think bringing me a head gets you OUT OF THIS," she screamed and her face pulled into an evil grimace. "HOW DARE YOU ONLY THINK ABOUT DUMPING ME HERE, WAITING FOR YOU!"

He stared at her and felt a heavy wind blowing into his face. 'She could at least try to keep her temper,' he thought, relieved she was not yet able to read his thoughts. She pointed on him and slowly stepped closer and closer, the dull gozilla-stamps hinting the dangerous threat. BAMM. BAMM. BAMM.

'If she approaches me much further I'll find out what her finger looks like in my stomach,' he thought as she could not come closer anymore. He felt her breath, not daring to breathe himself.

"It's not her head," her voice began to squeak again, a kind of relaxing change to her screams. The evil smirk finally returned. "You'd like to chop off her blonde, icky head and spread her blood all over my bed?", she asked. The Hessian was not very pleased by imagining the blood of the most beautiful girl spread all over the plave where he did things to the Lady which he actually wanted to do to somebody else.

"I don't care about the heads you carry in here," she snickered, "because I didn't order those. Bring me her head." She was amused. "Katrina's head. Don't wait much longer."

She was satisfied with his face's expression of angst. He quickly nodded his head in total agreement.

"And now, fulfill that other duty. You had better show some effort."