"He's not okay, Cory. Can't you see? He's holding up for us, trying to make us believe he's dealing with it fine. But he's not! Don't you see how he always cleans up the same parts of the house? And why did the administration of his university call us? Us? His brother and sister-in-law! And didn't you notice how skinny he has become? He's barely eating! This is going to be his end, Cory! We have to do something!" Eric could hear Topanga's voice clearly through the thin kitchen wall. He only listened with half an ear.
"Look, Topanga, I know! I've already asked him what we should do to help him, but he says he's just fine! He's an adult, we can't force him to do anything. If he doesn't want help, what can we do?" Topanga sighed.
Cory continued, more quietly. "Exactly, nothing. So, he has lost some weight-"
"-a lot of weight-," Topanga interrupted.
"So, he's lost a lot of weight – but that's all. There's nothing more to been seen. He's simply not an emergency, Topanga - don't you get it? No one is going to take him away for examination, unless he wants to himself. It's all inside his head!"
"But he is dying, Cory! Why didn't the doctors warn us for this? Look, I'm not a doctor or even a nurse, but even I can see that he's experiencing severe trauma right now. This is some kind of shock, and without professional help, he's not going to make it." Eric heard how Topanga's voice trembled, on the verge of tears.
Cory sighed. "I'll talk to him again, see if I can talk him into it. Okay?" he answered gently, and Eric could imagine him hushing into his wife's hair, pulling her close.
"Okay." Topanga paused and sighed again. "Why doesn't Jack just-"
"I don't know, Topanga. I wish I did. Really. But I think we have to respect his decision. He's going through a very rough time. And besides, he is sending those letters, right?" The rest of the conversation was too soft for Eric to hear.
A few moments later, husband and wife entered the living room, where Eric was sitting at the dinner table. Topanga smiled faintly at Eric and squeezed his shoulder as she passed by him, trying to hide her red eyes from him at the same time.
"I'll be waiting inside the car, okay?" she said to Cory. Then she took her coat and quickly disappeared through the door.
Cory sat himself down at the opposite side of the table, facing his brother. "Eric, I-"
"Never mind, bro'. Heard it all. Look, I don't need your help. I know you think I'm not over this, but really, I am. It's… it's just that - I miss him, and I have to get used to him not being around and stuff. I'll be fine. Promise." Eric tried to look as sincere as possible, and he even managed to produce a smile.
Cory decided to try one last time. "Eric, I really think you should go see someone. Even though it's just for a one-time check. Here," He pulled out a note and unfolded it. "I got this address from a doctor at the hospital I called yesterday. It's a counseling service, and I really think they could help you. Just-just call them or something. Okay?"
Eric sighed. "Okay," he replied, as he took the note from his brother.
"Promise?" Eric grabbed Cory's hand over the table and shook it firmly.
"Promise. Now beat it," Eric grinned and shooed Cory out of the apartment.
The note landed right on top of the pile of unopened envelopes underneath his bed.
One day, Shawn came to visit Eric alone. Besides some mutual small-talk, Shawn did all the serious talking. Eric was staring at the wall in front of him, not really listening, lost in his own thoughts. After a good half hour, as Shawn was starting to run out of subjects, Eric suddenly turned his head and interrupted him in the middle of a sentence.
"Why can't I see Jack?"
Shawn stopped, and took a deep breath. Eric noticed how he tried very hard to avoid looking Eric in the eyes. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, like a fish on dry land. Nothing came out.
"Shawn, look at me." Shawn stared down at his hands, clasped together. "Shawn! Look at me! Why can't I see Jack? Why is everyone avoiding his name? Why don't I hear anything about him? What's happening? Is he out of the hospital already?"
Shawn ran a hand through his hear and sighed.
"I have to know something! SHAWN!" Eric grabbed his shirt, yelling at his face. Finally, Shawn looked up with a look twisted by pain in his eyes.
"Jack… Jack doesn't want to see you," he whispered.
"What?" Eric paused for a moment, trying to let the words sink in. "What are you saying? Why? Why doesn't he want to see us? What's wrong?" Eric's face was all confusion and disbelief.
Shawn cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Eric, listen." Shawn turned around fully and looked deep into Eric's eyes, to make sure he would get it. "Jack doesn't want to see you. Only you. We've already been there a couple of times, he's… been doing much better lately. But… he- he told us he doesn't want to see you. You confuse him. He said that himself… He said it'd be best if you didn't see him for a long time. He has to sort so many things out, Eric. You were there, that night. If you visit him now, you would probably bring back all the pain and the memories. And I think… I think he feels guilty for putting you in danger like he did… You know?"
Eric just stared at him, with a hint of pain starting to ooze through. Shawn continued, still hesitantly.
"You see, he told us what happened. How you- how you saved him that night. It was just in time. If it wasn't the train, it would have been the cold that killed him… He was hypothermic, the doctors told us. You did the right thing by keeping him warm, and protected, and-" He paused. As he continued, Shawn's voice broke into a whisper. "I almost lost my brother. You saved him. You saw his pain. That's- that's just too intense for him too cope with right now." A tear rolled down his cheek, and Shawn hastily brushed it away with a slight groan. He breathed deeply. "Look, Eric, I'm so sorry. I- I'll talk to him again, okay? See if-"
He couldn't even finish his sentence. Eric got up without a word, grabbed his keys from the table and darted out of the door, leaving Shawn flabbergasted. He didn't hear Shawn screaming his name down the stairs a moment later. All the way, running down, the only thing he heard was that one sentence.
Jack doesn't want to see you.
Only you.
Only you.
Only you.
Only you.
Only you.
Only you…