Hello! Sorry I haven't updated sooner, but I've been down for the count with a sinus infection.

To all my reviewers, much love!

Ciao, bellas!

Kenshin stared at Kaoru incredulously. Well, actually, he stared admiringly at the open space between the slightly parted lapels of her bathrobe, but he managed to put the incredulous expression on his face once he thought about what she said.

"C-cr-crossdresser?!"

"He's not a cross-dresser!" Sanosuke's voice boomed along the corridor.

Kenshin turned, grateful for help, even if it was from an unlikely source.

"He's freaking gay! Ho-mo-sex-u-al! That's what he is!"

Kenshin's timid expression soured. He should have known better than to expect help from that corner. His red hair fell into his eyes, shadowing the shame held there. I can't believe my friends think this about me, he sulked. What on earth would give them such a ridiculous idea? Granted, I ended up in bed with Sano, that I did, but I was drunk, and thought I was in Miss Kaoru's room. Here I am in my loincloth, at this, he gazed down embarrassedly, and shifted in order to hide the effects of his earlier admiration of Kaoru.

"Well, he may be that, too."

Kenshin was jarred out of his reverie when Kaoru gave her assent to Sano's prognosis of Kenshin's sexuality.

"I am not gay, that I am not." He looked angrily up at his friends. "This was an honest mistake. I did not realized I was in Sano's, no, Yahiko's bedroom, as I had doused the lights before I came to bed, and had to judge the distance in my drunken state, that I did."

"Then why did you cuddle me?" Sanosuke demanded, arms crossed. Kenshin idly noticed that he had recovered his white jacket with trademark "bad" symbol, at some point following his earlier rant about Kenshin's preferences.

"I was having a dream, that I was, and it did not involve you, that it did not!" At this point Kenshin had raised his voice somewhat above its usual register, indicating that he was finally close to the breaking point.

Kaoru's sarcastic voice cut in. "Oh yeah? Then just who was in it, Kenshin?" She glared balefully at him, blue eyes narrowed slightly, long black hair flipped over one shoulder. Kenshin had to stop himself from sighing at the image she created- she still had not closed the gap in her bathrobe.

"Uh...I can't tell you," Kenshin muttered lamely.

"Why not?" Sanosuke kept up the interrogation, lighting a couple of extra lamps to give himself and Kaoru better opportunity to measure the guilt they were sure was evident on Kenshin's face.

Red-faced, Kenshin replied, "Because I don't remember who was in it. A lovely girl, that's all."

"Liar!" Sanosuke accused.

At this point, the hue of Kenshin's face had put his hair to shame.

"For shame, Sanosuke, hear him out," Kaoru interjected, looking slightly less suspicious than earlier, and feeling rather sorry for her red-headed friend, who was a sad sight to see. Scarlet-faced, slumped on the ground with nothing but his underclothing, he looked like a youth who had been caught by his parents looking at pictures of ladies.

"Besides," she continued. "The real question here is why you like to dress like a woman. Why didn't you just tell me? I have plenty of kimonos I can lend you. There's this especially nice one, in forest green, that would complement your complex –"

"I do not dress like a woman, that I do not!" Kenshin jumped up. His fists were balled at his sides. He wished desperately for his reverse-blade sword, just so he could cut a hole in the wall and escape this torment.

"Then why do you wear the pink gi? With matching pink socks?" Kaoru looked at him inquiringly.

"It's magenta," he protested weakly. "And it's part of my rurouni image. Nothing objectionable, nothing dangerous. I am what I am, that I am ." A/N I'm strong til the finish, cause I eats me spinach...

"And the long hair? And girly face?"

"I can't help my face! And lots of men have long hair. It's completely normal."

"Not on girly men, it's not," snorted Sanosuke.

"Shut up, Rooster Head," Kenshin growled. Sanosuke's head jerked up in surprise. He didn't sound like the usual Kenshin, even upset. He sounded like...uhoh.

Golden eyes peered at him disdainfully.

"I am not gay. I do not dress like a woman, at least, not purposefully. My goal is to behave in a non-threatening manner. If you have a problem with this, I can revert to my old methods instead. Do you prefer that?"

"No," squeaked Sano.

Kenshin sauntered up to Kaoru. "And you, pretty?"

Kaoru would not meet his gaze. "I don't think you should cut people up," she whispered, staring at the floor.

"Oh?" Amusement was evident in Kenshin's voice. "And I suppose you have a better place for my sword?"

The thudding sound of Kenshin's head hitting the floor echoed down the hallway.

Early in the morning, Kenshin awoke in his room with a headache and a slight hangover. Uggh...had too much sake last night, that I did. It looks like I made it back to my room after all. Good thing I didn't end up in Miss Kaoru's room by mistake. Kenshin began to laugh nervously. For some reason, that thought made him more uneasy than it usually would.

He walked to the kitchen and prepared breakfast in his usual manner. Half an hour later, Yahiko entered, then went to his room to change. Yelling occurred, and Yahiko exited to use the tub. He re-emerged soon after, wet and towel-clad, where more yelling ensued, followed by hushed whispering. At one point, Kenshin could have sworn he heard giggling.

Setting the food on the table, Kenshin left to gather the household for breakfast. Once seated at the table, the awkward tension was extremely evident. Kenshin was clueless. I wonder what's wrong, he thought to himself.

Yahiko cleared his throat. "So..Kenshin," he began, obviously trying to stifle laughter. "I hear you're a trans-continental." At that, he burst into hysterical laughter.

Kenshin stared.

Kaoru and Sano turned red, then glared at Yahiko. "Not trans-continental, you brat!" Kaoru whacked Yahiko on the head with her practice sword.

"Oh...right. Sorry."

Praying he wouldn't say any more, Kaoru stuffed a pork bun in Yahiko's mouth the next time he tried to speak. She did this several more times throughout the meal, until finally Yahiko gave up and continued on with his breakfast, staring glumly down at his rice and swirling it around in his blue-tinted porcelain bowl.

"Trans-peptide!" He shouted randomly.

Staring, again.

"Translator? No? Transferent? Translucent? Um...transsexual?"

Though incorrect, the word rang a bell, even in Kenshin's befuddled head.

"What?!"

The crimson-haired wanderer jumped up so fast that he knocked his and Sano's half-eaten breakfasts over.

"That's it. I am going on a quest, to prove my manliness to all of you!"

Somewhere in New York City, 2004, five gay men heard the tolling of the mission bell, across land, water, and time...