Persepolis130
Notes: Thanks for being so completely sweet and leaving reviews! I hope the questions about Hinata's motives are answered here. As for Neji thinking more about Hinata than Tenten... interesting idea. He seems to be having a hard time distinguishing between physical love and emotional love at this point, though. Oh, and about the voo-doo doll... um, yeah... heh.
CHAPTER 13
"This is fate, that's all," Neji said, pulling the sobbing Hinata tighter against him. This whole situation made no sense. Why would she think she was to blame for any of this?
His cousin had always been sensitive, but he'd never seen her express her emotions so openly, and it disturbed him to see the tears streaming down her cheeks, her body wracked with sobs. Neji wanted to do something to calm her, but he found himself at a loss, not exactly being the "shoulder to cry on" type. In the end, he decided to simply hold her, hoping she'd calm down on her own.
It took some time, but she did eventually still, her sobs subsiding into little hiccups, and then fading out entirely. Finally, she pulled away from Neji, shaky fingers drawing the hateful blue kimono he'd covered her with tighter around her as if it were protection against harm, instead of the hideously immoral invitation it really was.
"I shouldn't have brought it home," she murmured. Neji could tell she was feeling better from the flush that began to spread across her cheeks as she remembered he wasn't wearing anything.
"What are you saying?" he asked, leaning back on his bed. "Brought what?" He didn't know why the nudity bothered her after what they'd done last night.
Hinata pulled the kimono to her mouth nervously. "I... I was just curious... since I saw Kiba-kun..."
"Hinata-sama, you're not making any sense," Neji said, his voice sounding a bit more harsh than he intended. But why was she making this so difficult? It would be easier if she just said it.
"Mmm..." Hinata started, "Shino-kun bought it for me, after..."
Neji sighed, feeling a headache coming on as he coaxed out her answer. "Yes, bought what?"
"Ah..." she fidgeted with the edges of the kimono, finally taking a deep breath and coming out with, "Kiba-kun sometimes gets naked."
Neji blinked.
"It's just... natural. Like when we're born. That's what he says. And... Shino-kun said ninjas need to know... that sort of thing... but then mother saw the book," she whispered the last part, blush coloring her cheeks.
Neji rubbed his throbbing forehead, pulling his forehead protector off for better access. So the Inuzuka was an exhibitionist and the Aburame bought girls' sex guides. It seemed Hinata's team was even more dysfunctional than his own... who would have guessed it was possible? "But what does that have to do with anything? This didn't happen because of some dirty book."
Hinata winced, rubbing at her eyes. "If father hadn't found out, then he wouldn't have made you do it!"
Neji shook his head. "That's not true, Hinata-sama. It's because you've come of age. He would've done it no matter what."
Hinata looked as if she was about to cry again.
"I'm not upset, if that's what you think. Really, it wasn't that bad," he told her. He wasn't sure if it was true or not, but he thought it might make her feel better. "You know, a lot of men... pay for that sort of thing, so...it's nothing to trouble yourself over."
Hinata didn't look convinced, her chin tucked against her chest and bottom lip working in and out as she stayed off the tears.
"And you didn't have to do it. It was only in case you needed it, to protect your reputation. You know that, right?" he asked, resisting the urge to brush her bangs aside so that he could see her eyes. "It was your choice."
At this, Hinata let out a strange, girlish yelp, gripping the kimono so tightly that her knuckles turned white, and burst into tears.
At a total loss, Neji sat up and pulled her back into his arms, sighing again and wondering what he'd done to deserve this. Oh, that's right. He was born.
"I couldn't... let him... he said..." Neji heard her manage between sobs.
"I can't understand you. You have to calm down," heordered her. But thinking his voice sounded harsh, he added, "Just tell me," in a softer tone. As she quieted, he thought she felt small in his arms, nothing like the strong ninja he knew she was becoming. What could have upset her so much?
"He said if I didn't..." she said, sniffing, but this was as far as she got before she hid her face in the makeshift blanket, cheeks on fire.
"Who? Your father? What did he tell you?" Neji asked, angry at the mention of his uncle's name. When she didn't answer, he eased her chin up with his thumb.
"...he said... he might... if I didn't... you had to... for anyone..."
"Oh, Hinata-sama, that's not true," he said, lie rolling easily off his tongue as he felt tears spring to his eyes. Blinking them away, he told her, "He was just angry that I wouldn't tell you, that I'd sent you to him. That's all."
Hinata cried even harder. "But he said-"
"That would never happen. I swear it," he assured her falsely. So that was why she'd done it, not because she'd wanted to, but because she thought it would save him from her father. Hinata had sacrificed herself for his sake, for his dignity and well-being. And thinking he understood her reasons, he'd treated her so coldly in return, feeling so justified, so self-righteous. Now he just felt ill.
Hinata sniffed. "...are you sure?"
She knew nothing about what happened before, which was the way he would keep it. Was this the reason Hiashi had let him go tonight, untouched?
Neji kissed her forehead, feeling unbelievably indebted to her. "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter now, does it? Was that what you meant about your Nindo?"
Hinata giggled uneasily, wiping away the last of her tears. "It must have sounded so strange... but it's not like I wouldn't have done it some day anyway..."
He nodded sadly in response, suddenly struck by the severity of the disservice he'd done her. How did she think of sex now, after he'd treated her the way he had, so coldly? And then he remembered the blood.
"Was it very painful?" he asked, looking into her eyes.
"Ah, it..." she turned her head aside, "it wasn't so bad..."
You're a horrible liar, he thought. "It's because you're too good for lies," he murmured.
Hinata looked at him questioningly, and he knew what he had to do as clearly as he knew his own name. "You trust me, don't you Hinata-sama? You know that I'm here to serve you, to protect you and the Main House from harm?"
Hinata regarded him questioningly. "Of course I do. I know it's been hard on you, but you've always done your best."
Neji shook his head. "I haven't, but now I'm going to make it right. Do you believe me?"
She nodded, and Neji could see that although she didn't understand, she wasn't afraid.
"Good," he said, pulling the kimono gently from her grasp and leaning in to press his lips against hers. "Then I'll show you what it's really like."
XXXXX
Neji drowsed contentedly, Hinata's silky hair against his cheek, her soft breasts pressed to his chest, and legs entangled with his. With his arm draped over her, he ran his fingers softly across her back, the feel of her skin soothing him. His cousin's breathing was deep and even, and through his half-lidded eyes, Neji saw her delicate face, tranquil in sleep, one small hand curled up beside her mouth.
He pressed his cheek against hers, kissing her as he welcomed the approaching sleep, feeling he'd made right of his earlier mistake with her. Of her not liking what he'd done tonight, there was absolutely no possibility; he had made sure of it.
He wasn't sure how long it had been before he felt Hinata move. He only knew that he'd had a thorough, deep rest. Aware that she had to leave before morning came when the servants began their duties, Neji pulled away his arm, which was still wrapped around her, so that she could go. Half-asleep, he mumbled something to her and rolled onto his side.
Instead of her leaving though, he felt warm hands tracing the lines of his chest, fingers gently fitting themselves into the muscled grooves of his abdomen. He opened his eyes to see Hinata propped beside him, running her hands across his naked body. In the moonlight, her skin had the soft, unmarred sheen of fine porcelain, and she looked pale and beautiful as new-fallen snow.
Neji sighed heavily at the sight, his drowsy body reacting slowly but surely, not wanting to miss out on what experience had shown would come next. Sleepily, he caught one of Hinata's hands and brought it to his lips. "You're going to have to leave soon," he whispered. Frowning slightly, he added, "I hope you liked it better this time."
Hinata didn't look up, and for a moment Neji thought she was going to cry again. He frowned, concerned, but blinked hazily as he realized where her eyes were focused. His breath hitched as the fingers of her right hand, trembling slightly, slid feather-soft down his length. He gasped at the shock, at how incredible her slight, hesitant touch felt.
"Neji-niisan..." she whispered, looking up as she gently took hold of him. Her shimmering silver eyes were wide in wonder as they met his. "I want to do it again..."
Neji felt a shock run through his body like a surge of electricity as he heard the words, his heart speeding and breath catching. The room spinning around him, stomach clenching, it took a moment before he could manage, "Anything you want, Hinata-sama."
As he moved to take her in his arms, her lips pressing to his and hands in his hair, he was distressed that he enjoyed her this much. This was supposed to have been for Hinata, to comfort his cousin, encourage her, to repay her for the kind deed she'd done him, the wrong he'd done her. It wasn't supposed to be for him at all. For him, it should have felt empty like it always had before.
But hadn't turned out that way.
And Neji decided, as their bodies slid together, a soft moan escaping Hinata's lips, that he didn't care anymore that he'd been forced into it, that she was his cousin, or even that his honor had been degraded because of it.
Because in that instant, it occurred to Neji that maybe caged birds sang for a reason.