Persepolis130
Notes: Yes, Neji has beautiful, shiny, well-conditioned hair. Damn him. For better or worse here, this thing is going to wrap up relatively soon, so before I decide exactly how it happens (I've got the main stuff, just not all the details), any requests/ suggestions? As always, thanks for the reviews, and I'm ever so glad to share my love/ hate Neji relationship with you!
CHAPTER 15
Surprisingly enough, Tenten actually was at the training grounds.
Neji knew she heard him approaching, but she said nothing, not even bothering to look up from the dummy she was practicing with. He watched for a few minutes, assuming she'd acknowledge him when she finished her sequence, but he eventually got tired of waiting.
"What are you doing here?" he asked. He hadn't meant for it to sound like that. But he'd just gone out of his way to defend her honor, and now she was ignoring him!
"Training."
Neji shook his head, annoyed that she still hadn't stopped. "Why?"
"I'm going to be as good as Tsunade-sama one day. I have to work hard."
"You're supposed to be at Gai-sensei's banquet," he informed her.
"So are you."
Neji decided she was being purposefully obtuse, which entitled him to skip the pleasantries. "Why are they saying improper things about you? What did you do?"
Tenten's leg halted mid-strike. "What did I do? What did I DO!" she demanded, snapping her foot to the ground. "How can you even ASK that!"
Neji opened his mouth to respond but was cut off.
"I didn't do anything! You of ALL people should know!" she shouted. "This is all YOUR fault!"
He'd never seen Tenten so furious, red-faced and trembling like a completely different person, but he couldn't fathom why she'd blame him. "You were the one who agreed to host the banquet, and for your information, I told everyone it wasn't true. But if it is, you'd better tell me, because I don't relish looking like a fool in front of your little friends!"
"Looking like a fool? Did you just say that I was going to make YOU look like a fool? Who do you think you are, you JERK!"
No time in recent memory had Neji felt so offended, and he decided she should know. "You're being a bitch," he told her.
He probably should have expected what followed as she stormed up to him, or at least had enough ninja instinct to dodge her hand on its way to his cheek. The loud smacking sound rang through his ears, and he could feel a stinging welt raise. For a moment, he felt the irrational urge to smack her back, but he held back, settling for glaring at her instead. "You didn't exactly just prove me wrong."
"You ruined my LIFE!" she shouted, entire body trembling with anger.
Neji snorted, forcing his anger down. "I don't know what you're talking about, but don't you think you're being a bit melodramatic about it?"
"Melodramatic! I can't even go into town without people giving me nasty looks! All the boys whistle and catcall when I walk by!" she fumed. "Does that make you happy, Neji!"
"Why would that make me happy? What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about what you did to me in front of half the town, that's what!" she screamed.
"What I--" he cursed himself for being so slow to realize what she was saying, and his stomach felt suddenly and strangely hollow. "But that was months ago!" he protested.
This made her even more enraged, and she clenched her fists as if she meant to strike him. "Did you forget what you said? How you were practically screaming obscenities at me? Calling me a whore, saying I'd sleep with anyone! Do you think people just forget hearing that sort of thing?"
Shaking his head, Neji tried to recall his exact words, but he found only a jumble of emotion as the scene from the sweets shop came back to him. He'd felt so horribly unwell that morning, still recovering from the events of the night before, and that same feeling came back to him now. The feeling that he'd just been wronged, dishonored, violated.
"I wasn't myself that day..." he murmured, running his hands up his arms as a sudden chill ran through him.
"Yeah, well how do you think I feel, Neji? Thanks to all the gossip, I haven't been myself for nearly six months!" she screamed.
"It wasn't meant for you," he said, mouth dry and tongue thick.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she demanded. When he didn't respond, she asked again, louder this time.
But Neji turned away from her, the sickening feeling overpowering him, and he realized that what he'd done to Tenten may have been even worse than what his uncle had done. In Neji's case, he could just push the memories back, pretend it never happened. If he awoke every few nights in a cold sweat, his curse seal throbbing and fear constricting his throat, he could take a few deep breaths and tell himself it was all just a dream, that it was over, he was safe, and it would never happen again.
But Tenten couldn't. Every time she left the house, she was reminded of it, and Neji felt as though in some way, Tenten had been raped as well. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, refusing to give in to the panic that gripped him at the thought that he could have done something so horrific without even knowing it. Did Hiashi realize what he'd done either?
"Neji," he heard Tenten ask in a quiet voice, all traces of anger vanished, "why did you say it?"
But he shook his head, knowing he couldn't tell her. "Don't think I'm proud of what I did."
Tenten's feet shifted on the ground beside him. "It was like a nightmare, Neji... I didn't think I could ever face you again. I just... I wished I was dead... And do you want to know what the worst part is? The most horrible, agonizing part of this whole thing?"
Neji just looked at her, already knowing what she was going to say.
"It's that I still love you," she told him, smiling weakly. "You ruined everything, and I still wish you'd take me back..."
Turning his eyes to the ground, Neji said in a low voice, "You know I can't do that, Tenten."
"I know that, Neji," he heard her say, "But that doesn't mean I understand it!"
"It's not easy for me either." An uncomfortable silence passed between them, and Neji shifted uneasily, not sure what would follow.
"Hyuuga Neji," his teammate eventually said, smiling bitterly, "you are the most selfish person I've ever met."
Neji didn't like it. He wasn't selfish, he WASN'T, and it hurt that she'd say something like that, that she had no idea how he actually felt about anything. But what was he supposed to do, tell her? Talk about his feelings? What was he, a girl?
"I'll fix things, Tenten." But why did he say that? What did it even mean, "fix things"? He couldn't stand how her words stung, how guilty they made him feel for not apologizing earlier, for not realizing what she was going through. And besides, what else could he say? Honor demanded that he right his wrongs.
Tenten started to protest when she saw the look in his eyes, but Neji shook his head. "I'll think of nothing else until I do. I swear it, Tenten. I'm not selfish. I'll fix this."
She shook her head and turned away, walking back to her training dummy. "I wish I could believe you."
XXXXX
"Do you think I'm selfish?"
"Why would I think that, Niisan?"
Neji frowned, kissing the daintily-curved instep of the foot he was massaging. "Someone told me I was."
Hinata shook her head, giggling adorably when he found the ticklish spot. "You're the least selfish person I've ever met. Maybe not the most... open... but..." she shrugged, wiggling her nicely-shaped toes. "I think whoever said it must not know you at all."
Neji sighed at the flawless accuracy of his cousin's words. "If everyone were as sensible as you, Hina-chan, the world would be a perfect place."