A/N: Ok so I wrote this all in one sitting so my thoughts are sort of just on the page, let me know what you think and whether or not I should develop this story more, it's slightly different to what I normally write but oh well. It's set during Gentle, Gentle. Also after I wrote this I read something similar on fanfiction, please believe me when I say I'm not trying to copy anyone and that it was purely acoincidence.
His heart broke when he found him, it was as if he was reliving it all over again, people thought he was the tin man that he had no heart or feelings, the truth was he hurt so much that sometimes it consumed him, it took him to a dark place where all he could think about what he had lost and how he could never loose it again.
He stared down at the picture before him, it had aged unlike the child in it, reclining back in his chair he took a deep breath, the lab was quiet, after the media circus had gone everybody had pretty much gone home, the whole shift had been involved in the case of poor Zachary Anderson.
As his thumb rubbed the picture in his hand he thought back to 25 years earlier when he had still been in California finishing off his PHD, he'd fallen in love, such a great love it had made him whole, Sandra was her name she had been a fellow PHD student studying mathematics at the university looking at mathematical formulas in relation to insect communities it was this that had brought them together one afternoon when she almost called campus security on him for disturbing her time lapse photography of an anthill, he had tried to explain that he had just wanted a couple of specimens for his collection but she was having none of it shooing him away, it was at this point he realized that a woman that was this intent on her experiment was someone to get to know. He's come back with a thermos of coffee to apologize, from this point on they spent nearly every moment together.
It was no surprise to anyone that within a year that Sandra and Grissom had moved in together, and within another year Sandra had fallen pregnant, both of them had finished their PHD's and with Gil taking a job consulting they could afford for Sandra to take a year or two off before her starting a postdoc which they figured she could do part time until the baby was at school.
The months grew and Grissom trying to be an honorable man asked Sandra to marry him, she turned him down, but it wasn't due to lack of love, she just thought there was better things for their money to be spent on than a wedding, they knew they loved each other what else did they need.
It should have been the happiest day of his life when his son was born, but it soon turned into a nightmare when he realized he would be bringing up this child alone, when Sandra died in child birth. The months from then on just all melded into one his mother helped him care for the baby but it soon became evident that he needed to work to support his infant son and that his mother needed her life back. He hired a nanny one with excellent references this was a decision to this very day he regretted. He had come home one day to find his son gone as well as his nanny. He frantically searched the authorities wouldn't help him, said there was no evidence to where they might of gone. When his son turned up dead a week later near a highway rest stop, his world stopped existing, it was at that point he vowed never for the families or the victims to feel the way that he had that very day when the police wouldn't help him, to help them find some peace of mind by looking at all of the evidence. It was that day, that he had closed himself inside his own mind made prison and when he felt death was better for him to study as it brought him closer to his family now that they had left him, it was that day that the living stopped interesting him.
A single tear now ran down his face, he lifted his head towards the door as he heard somebody shift against the door frame, there staring back into his eyes was Sara Sidle. She just stood there trying to figure out what to say at this obvious display of emotion from her supervisor and friend, she had just popped by to see if he was ok as he had seemed worked up about this case, now she knew something was very wrong.
" It's going to be ok Grissom, the media's died down now and the family will slowly get their lives back to together" Sara tried to comfort him with her words
Grissom got up from behind his desk and walked towards the door when he drew level with Sara he almost whispered "It will never be the same for them Sara, remember that the ones left behind never get over with what's happened they just learn to cope better" and with that Grissom placed a photo in her hand and walked off.
Sara looked after Grissom and was about to ask what that meant when she looked down at the photo in her hand, there staring back at her was a picture of a small boy with the bluest eyes being held by a very young looking Grissom.