Author's note: It feels good to be back on ffnet! There'll be no update for two weeks as I'm off on vacation, but after that, the action should hot up plenty, and hopefully, I'll be able to post chapters more frequently. Sorry to leave you with such a cliffhanger chapter!
Nameless: I was worried for a bit, but all my fics seem to have re-appeared at adultffnet. phew
mad melma: Thanks for the comments; they really cheered me up after a couple of weeks of RL hell.
Kitty in the Box: Ah, I'm glad you've got faith in Cal and Bicky Thanks for the reviews.
Marie: Yup, I'm glad to be back too! Hope you continue to enjoy the ride.
And with that, onto the story! -Swordy
Somewhere in Between
Chapter 10 – Circle of Lies
Drake left his kitchen, clutching two steaming mugs of coffee. His houseguest had moved from the couch, and was now standing at the window, staring out into the darkness of the city. He didn't turn as Drake entered, his mind clearly somewhere far away from the apartment that he temporarily called home. Drake mentally sighed. Dee had pitched up at his place after a brief but tense phone conversation. Since he'd arrived, he'd said very little about the circumstances that had brought him to stay on his best friend's couch but Drake knew it was serious. Normally, a crowbar would be needed to pry Dee from his adored husband's side – the fact that they were apart of their own volition was worrying to say the least.
"Dee? Coffee for you." Drake broke the silence, as he placed the aforementioned drink on the table next to the couch.
The raven-haired man turned at the sound of Drake's voice. "Thanks."
He moved from his window position to retrieve the mug, which he drank from without enthusiasm. "Thanks for letting me stay, man."
"Anytime. And you know, Dee, if you wanna talk…"
Dee nodded gratefully. "I know. I appreciate it." He paused as he raised the mug again. "I'm not going in to work tomorrow."
Drake looked concerned, although not surprised. "I doubt they'll let you take vacation leave at such short notice."
"I know - I'll take sick leave instead. May as well take advantage of being diabetic once in a while. Will you back me up?"
"Sure, if you think it's for the best."
Dee nodded, knowing the precinct would never challenge anything related to his serious medical condition. It was a card he didn't play often, preferring people to see how he got on with life despite it.
Sensing his colleague wasn't going to say anything more on the subject just then, Drake turned his attention to Dee's canine companion, who so far hadn't left his master's side, and chuckled.
"Who'd have thought someone as chaotic as Dee McLain could own something so well trained?"
Dee looked down at the odd-coloured eyes that looked back at him with deep devotion. Gaining his master's attention caused Bright's stumpy tail to start wagging, the action finally managing to elicit a smile from Dee. He reached down and patted the dog's head, realising that he almost felt envious of a being whose life revolved around eating, sleeping and chasing a ball.
"Yeah, well thanks for putting him up too."
"No probs," Drake grinned, waving a hand to dismiss the thanks. "He's probably better house-trained than you."
"Bastard," Dee smirked as he raised his arm and pointed at the man on the couch. "Bright, go and give Drake a kiss."
The dog duly obliged, crossing the room in long strides to leap into Drake's arms, burying the protesting man under almost seventy pounds of muscular flesh, as he sought the detective's face to lick. Dee laughed, but it did little to assuage the feeling of emptiness that had settled in the pit of his stomach.
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Ryo headed up to their fourth floor office, unable to put a finger on what it was he was experiencing. The previous evening had passed without any word from Dee – no phone call to say he was coming home, not even a call to say he was at Drake's and was okay. They were due on shift together, which Ryo hadn't yet decided was a good thing or not. He sighed as he paused with his fingers on the door handle. Now was the time to find out. Drake's car was in the parking lot so he figured they must have come together.
He entered the office to find Drake and JJ, but no Dee. The two men looked up from their work as he entered, offering the blond man a friendly greeting without trying to look like they were studying his emotional state, even though Ryo knew they would be. He shrugged off his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair, his eyes automatically flicking across to his husband's desk to check for signs that he was really here. It was impossible to tell – Dee never put things away at the end of the day, creating the appearance at his desk that someone was perpetually working there. When JJ left the office to speak to someone on the third floor, it was inevitable that the conversation would shift to the other absent member of their team.
"Is Dee not here?" Ryo asked, trying to sound casual as he shuffled some papers. Only the lack of eye contact destroyed his illusion of nonchalance.
"No," Drake replied. "He stayed ho… well, at mine," he corrected himself, knowing 'home' was with Ryo.
"Did he give a reason?"
Drake cocked his head to one side. "Officially or unofficially?"
"Both."
"Well, officially, he's feeling a little under the weather because of his diabetes."
"And unofficially?"
"He wants to stay home watching trash TV and playing videogames because he's goddamned miserable."
Silence ensured, which Ryo broke hesitantly.
"Has he… has he said anything to you?"
Drake toyed with the pencil he'd spent the best part of the morning chewing. "No, nothing." He paused before his next comment, ensuring he had the other's full attention before he spoke. "Ryo, I just want to say that I'm not taking sides. Just because I said Dee could stay at my place, doesn't mean anything. I'm still your friend as much as I am his, whatever's happened."
Ryo managed a small but grateful smile. "Thanks, that means a lot." The smile faded quickly and his voice faltered. "Please, tell him to come home, Drake."
"I'll try," Drake promised, faced with the other man's heartache. "Believe me, Ryo, I'll try."
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Despite Drake's best efforts, Dee wasn't going anywhere. Three days had passed since he had walked out on Ryo and although it was clear that he was unhappy being apart from the other man, he had made no moves to resolve the situation. Laura's visit hadn't helped. Just as he was reconsidering things, realising that he hated being separated from the man he loved more than life itself, she came by to tell him what was going on in the McLain household in his absence. From her report Ryo seemed to be coping fine, much better than Dee had hoped or expected, all things considered. Naturally, she neglected to mention how Ryo seemed to spend his time at home walking around in a stupor, sitting then standing, then sitting again, picking up a photo and staring at it sadly - sometimes with tear-filled eyes, but always with an expression that spoke of his deep sadness.
Dee listened to her with mounting anger. Although she didn't say as much, it seemed that Ryo did not want him to return home unless he was prepared to apologise. Devastated by this news, Dee poured his heart out to the girl who had been like a sister to him growing up, indicating that he bore her no ill will despite her part in bringing about this terrible situation. She consoled and comforted, saying the things he wanted to hear but also putting forward her opinion that she felt that Ryo was behaving unreasonably. In his emotional state, her words carried weight, and it wasn't long before her opinion had become his own. Ryo should be apologising to him.
Knowing she had been going to visit Dee, Ryo was waiting up for her when she got back. She joined him on the couch, maintaining her role - evermore challenging because of the close proximity. He smelled wonderful, obviously having just showered, his damp hair tousled as it fell about his anxious features. His body language said he was nervous about what she would say, but she barely noticed, instead powerfully aware of how the t-shirt he wore hugged his slim frame.
"So?" he asked, his eyes pleading that she would deliver the news that Dee was coming home.
She managed to look both upset and sympathetic. "I'm really sorry, Randy. I tried, honestly I did, but you know how stubborn he can be."
The blond nodded, his lips pressed into a thin line as he fought back tears. "Well thanks for trying."
She reached across and took hold of his hand, looking for all the world like she shared his pain. "I don't understand, Randy. He's just not making any sense. He's so… angry. I've never seen him like this."
"It's okay," Ryo said, the comforted now becoming the comforter. He frowned as, during the period of silence, she seemed to be contemplating something, but unsure what words to use. "What's the matter, Tyler?"
The girl looked nervous before she responded. "I – I don't think Dee is… well, I don't think he's coping very well. He was kind of agitated, but every time I asked him if he was okay, he got angry with me."
Ryo felt his blood run cold. An agitated Dee was the Dee of old; struggling in the grip of his post-traumatic stress disorder. Could it be that reliving difficult memories had caused him to relapse? Ryo felt sick at the thought.
"I need to talk to him," he said suddenly, glancing across at the phone. He was reaching for it, before Laura's hand stopped him.
"Don't. I'll try to talk to him again."
"But…"
"Randy… if you try to talk to him now, it might make things worse. He's hurting and you're hurting and you'll probably both end up saying things you'll regret."
He responded with a watery smile. "I think it's a bit late for that."
She returned his smile, although hers was more confident. "Go and sleep on it. Nothing's unfixable, Randy."
The detective nodded, giving her hand a grateful squeeze before he headed to the bedroom. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Laura knew she'd made a mistake. Attributing Dee's behaviour to a possible relapse of PTSD shifted the blame from the man himself. She had seen the change in Ryo's dark eyes – he was still hurting, but a hardness seemed to come over him, indicating that he was prepared to be practical rather than emotional in the face of this information. Suddenly, Dee wasn't to blame.
And then Laura understood. For all her efforts, she would never separate the lovers. They were constantly looking for reasons to excuse the other's behaviour, no matter how unreasonable she reported it to be. Even Dee, who seemed more angry about the situation than Ryo, had confided in her that he wanted to talk with his husband, such was his unhappiness at their separation. Seeing Ryo reaching a similar conclusion forced her to face reality – her current strategy would not break them. Her approach, cruel as it seemed, was too gentle and at this rate, her conniving would soon be discovered and she would lose Randy altogether.
That night she lay awake, mentally going over what she had achieved over the last few months. She knew some would probably find it an astounding achievement that she had managed to move in with complete strangers and ingratiate herself into their lives, but it still wasn't enough. Just being close to Randy didn't satisfy her yearning for him, and seeing him with Dee was a constant reminder that he wasn't living the life she wanted him to live.
Dee was the problem. She could see now that he wasn't just an obstacle that could be sidestepped. If she wanted Randy, then she had to get rid of Dee.
Permanently.
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She went to see Dee the following morning. The two men were continuing to work opposing shifts, although more recently the separation had come about because Ryo was involved in training with his armed response unit, and not by choice. However, Dee informed her as they took Bright for a walk that he had left a message on Ryo's cell phone, asking if they could meet for dinner the following evening.
"D'you think he'll ring me?" he asked, as they sat on the bench together watching Bright galloping about like a lunatic. "I know we haven't spoken for a few days, but surely he'll want to put all this behind us too. You've been living with him, Tyler, d'you think he's ready for a truce?"
The girl looked thoughtful for a moment. "I dunno. Randy doesn't say much about his feelings, but I'm sure you can win him over."
Dee frowned; the answer not exactly the one he was looking for. He didn't want to have to 'win Ryo over'. He wanted his husband to have come to his own conclusion about what they should do. Still, Tyler hadn't said that he wouldn't come, so at least that was something.
"I miss him so much," he said quietly, as he studied the smouldering cigarette between his fingers. "I never thought we'd come to this. I should have just been honest with him from the start, told him about what I'd found out in England. I can understand why he's hurt."
Laura nodded, but didn't reply, her mind walking the steps through her new plan, which would start not a moment too soon. They returned to Drake's apartment together, Dee explaining that he had the place to himself as his colleague had had to fly to New Jersey as part of the Anderson Investigation. Laura acknowledged the news, even though she already knew Drake was away by checking at the precinct, but gave no indication of her glee. Drake's absence created a clear way forward for her wicked plan, and had been another factor in putting it into action straight away. She offered to spend the evening with Dee, an invitation he readily accepted since he didn't relish the thought of being alone. When he suggested a movie, Laura offered to start preparing their lunch while he went to the video store. Once he was gone, she flew into action.
From her jacket pocket she produced a bottle filled with a simple salt-water solution that she had prepared herself. A quick search of the apartment uncovered the detective's diabetes equipment, and she went to work disposing of all his insulin, before replacing it with the saline solution.
She had gotten the idea as she lay in her makeshift bedroom at Randy's place, staring up at the packed bookshelf next to the computer desk. A book about diabetes management had caught her eye, and she had quickly formed a plan. Using the computer, she had researched what she could substitute Dee's insulin for without affecting either appearance or viscosity. To her delight, saline would not show up in a drugs test, if the circumstances surrounding his death were felt to be suspicious. The enormity of what she was doing never once crossed her conscience.
Once his entire supply of insulin and the emergency drug Glucagon had been substituted, she replaced his equipment and went back to preparing the meal. Even as she watched Dee inject himself with something that would have no effect on his blood sugar level, she never thought of the consequences - that she was toying with a human life with a blatant disregard for its sanctity. Randy had to be hers.
They were watching the movie together when the phone rang. Dee paused the action and answered the call, his sudden change in expression telling Laura the identity of the caller. It amused her to hear his guarded tone – almost as if they were strangers arranging a first date.
"Pick you up about eight? Sure. How about that great Thai restaurant? Excellent. I'll see you then." There was a pause. "Love you, Ryo."
He put the phone down and grinned madly, before throwing his arms around Laura and hugging her tightly. Bright looked up and wagged his stump of a tail hopefully at the sudden excitement.
"What was that for?" she asked, looking at him with a quizzical smile.
"Don't act all coy. I know you put in a good word for me."
God, you're such an idiot"Well…"
"I really appreciate it, Tyler, thanks."
She insisted they watch TV late into the night, ensuring that Dee fell asleep without checking his blood sugar levels. She was still there as he gave himself his morning injection after finding his levels unexpectedly high. Not overly concerned, he gave himself a slightly larger amount to compensate for his raised level, unaware that the drug he had injected would have no effect. She stayed with him since it was his day off, sharing his excited chatter about his forthcoming 'date'. By mid-morning, he was starting to show signs of hyperglycaemia. He knew the symptoms and reacted accordingly, giving himself an extra shot of the drug that he thought would remedy the problem.
Naturally he was expecting the insulin to take effect, and he promised a concerned Tyler that he would call a doctor if he still felt unwell in a few hours' time He was assuming of course that he would be compos mentis and capable of making the call, but Laura knew different. He lay down on the couch, informing her in a slightly slurred voice that he seemed unaware of, that he was just resting his eyes for a few minutes while he waited for his insulin to kick in. She watched him drift off to sleep with a smile on her face. No one would be around to check on him.
"Bye, Dee," she said quietly, before she slipped out of the apartment.
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Ryo fastened the last button on his shirt, unable to resist a smile at the image staring back at him from the mirror. It was no random pick – the shirt was one of Dee's favourites, the scent he wore always had a powerful effect on Dee's desires. Happy with his appearance, he left the bedroom, tucking his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans.
"Heeeey, good looking!" Cal called out, looking up from the magazine she was reading to appraise the handsome man. "Doesn't he look hot, Tyler?"
Ryo coloured slightly, his embarrassment mirroring Laura's as the girl reddened too. Of course he's fucking hot.
"Yeah… you look really nice, Randy."
Ryo smiled. "Well thanks, guys. It's nice to get the vote of confidence."
"D'you want a drink?" Cal asked, about to make one for herself and Tyler.
"No thanks. Dee should be here any time."
Eight o'clock approached… and passed. Ryo made a comment about Dee always being late, but it was obvious he was starting to get edgy. When a whole half hour – and well past Dee's 'fashionable lateness' – had passed, Ryo had lost any trace of good humour. Doubt was setting in.
"Ring him," Cal urged. "He probably just got caught up making himself gorgeous for you."
Her comment raised only a hint of a smile. After a further fifteen minutes, he gave into temptation and picked up the phone, dialling both Drake's apartment and Dee's cell phone, with no success.
"Maybe he just…" Cal started to say in the face of Ryo's obvious disappointment.
"It's okay, Cal. I appreciate you trying to cheer me up but Dee's obviously just changed his mind about us getting together to talk."
He looked so despondent it was difficult to know what to say. He saved them the awkwardness. "I'm gonna have an early night, read for a couple of hours and then turn in," he announced, heading for the bedroom and already starting to unbutton his shirt.
"What if Dee rings?" Cal called after him.
Ryo looked thoughtful for a moment, his hand paused on the door handle. "He won't," he replied quietly, before he disappeared inside his room.
TBC…