I wonder how you are so wise in your innocence; so graceful in your ignorance. And I wonder why you're in my arms, and I wonder how your lips have found my own. From afar, perhaps we appeared to be dancing. I held you close, gently, swaying in the bliss that seemed to engulf me. Did it engulf you, too? But I was nearly blinded; my God, the light that shone in my soul. And I was starving. I felt a ravenous longing climb up my throat and reach out across my lips to draw you in close. My arms, around your waist, mirrored this movement and I felt you gasp softly at the unexpected closeness. I smiled against your lips and felt you wrap your arms around my neck, so gently; gracefully. You pulled me closer, deeper into the kiss. Somehow our dance had become something more, and the speed at which is occurred was pleasantly overwhelming.
I opened my eyes for a moment and looked down at you, just in time to see your own flutter closed. I almost wanted to speak, simply to tell you with words of the delight I felt; how brightly my soul was shining; how light I felt. But I could not find any such words, and even if I had I probably would not have been able to speak them; you tasted so sweet and I could not break away. I felt our gentle contact break, and you pulled back, keeping your eyes closed for a moment before allowing me to fill your vision. I met your gaze and you searched my eyes; you knew this was wrong. You opened your mouth to protest; you began to disengage yourself from our embrace, but I could not bear that and so I pulled you back; I kissed you again.
And you surrendered; whether or not it was what your soul desired I do not know. I only know that you did not pull away again; that you returned that kiss fully. You muttered something incomprehensible to my ears (what was it you said? Did you curse me? Yourself? Curse both of us; I would love nothing more than to be cursed by you, with you), and I was forced to take a step back as you pushed yourself against me. You sent my head spinning, and I made no effort to level myself. I felt your hands on my arms, my shoulders; my neck. And I felt my hands on your waist; your back; I felt you put yourself in my arms, and I felt myself embrace your presence.
I abandoned your lips, decadent as they were, and treaded down to your neck; I dusted your shoulder in kisses and I thought, Is there anything softer than this girl's skin? There is not, of course. I felt your fingers tracing the contours of my neck, dancing across my shoulders, sliding with intricate delicacy down my arms. I could feel myself burning; my entire body was on fire. It was the most delicious fever I'd ever known. I had not known how truly calescent I was, however, until I felt you dig your fingers smoothly into my jacket; I felt you push it away as if it were an irritating obstacle, an annoyance; a nuisance. And perhaps it was, because I could feel you so much closer without it.
I pulled you against me as if to underline this observation, and I heard you sigh as you rose up, consuming me. For a moment I acquiesced; I allowed you the gratitude of feeling me fall victim to your alluring aura. But then I pushed back softly, closing you between the wall behind you and myself. And then I was granted the requital of your complete surrender. You seemed tireless (though so was I in that moment – the kiss was so invigorating). You pulled me down against you; I felt a new surge of passion and hunger lock our lips together. I felt my hands tread up your back; I felt your hands caress my chest. You slid down against the wall as if you no longer retained the strength to support yourself. And you kept your arms locked around my neck and led me down, too; I felt any power and control I may have had drizzle away.
And I was aware only of you, and I was aware of how I held you; how close we were. I loved how you sighed in utter defeat. I loved how you became completely defenseless; I loved how we both came undone. I kissed you and I kissed you again, and I thought I'd been exalted to some unearthly level; maybe I'd reached heaven. I prayed for forgiveness for indulging in such a sin, but I didn't mean a word of it. I opened my eyes and looked down; you opened your eyes and looked up. I had only a moment to contemplate the irony before you spoke; before your voice soothed and caressed me as did your hands; your arms. I smiled; I was a simple child in your arms. "Heaven is made only for you and me," you said.
And then your dress slipped off your shoulder and I thought how pretty you looked.
That is the only dream I've ever had in color, Christine.