Author's note: Not the longest of chapters, but sometimes it's hard to find a good place to break off. Laura's such a bitch isn't she? Don't worry though, she'll get hers!

Anyway, enjoy and please leave a review! -Swordy

Somewhere in Between

Chapter 13 – On the Defensive

The puzzle had long since evaporated when he awoke in the morning, fresh and filled with hope that they might find some answers. Ryo reiterated that they were to ring him once they had been to Drake's, with news either good or bad. Tyler seemed to share Bicky's enthusiasm – clearly she wanted to help and, like Bicky, had been frustrated that there was nothing they could do up until now.

They rode the subway, chatting amicably together about a range of subjects. Only when talk turned to Dee and Ryo did Bicky grow serious and somewhat defensive about the relationship. He was certain that they would find answers at Drake's that would set the lovers back on a better path. They had, after all, Bicky reminded her, worked hard and overcome plenty to be together. It would be tragic to see the relationship fail now. Laura listened, indicating her supposed agreement, all the while pitying the teen with his unwavering optimism. There were no answers at Drake's – and she couldn't wait to see the look on his face.

After a thorough search of the apartment, Bicky's disappointment was obvious, and it was all Laura could do not to show her delight at his response.

"I don't understand," he kept repeating as he held the unused vials of insulin in his hands. "He only had enough for a couple more days – I know because Ryo told me. He was hoping they would be able to talk when Dee had to come home to get some more. He shouldn't have this much left." He looked up at Laura mournfully. "The doctor must be right – he mustn't have taken any for at least a day, but why would he do that unless he was trying to seriously hurt himself?"

Laura came and sat beside him on the couch, easing her arm around his shoulders. "I'm sorry, Bicky. I know how you wanted it to be."

"Didn't you?" He looked round at her sharply, his expression suspicious.

She responded with a wounded look, jumping back from him as if she had received an electric shock. "'Course I did! Wow, I can't believe you just said that…"

"Sorry."

"Look," she said, her tone placatory. "I've known Dee a lot longer than you. Maybe what he's done seems totally unbelievable to you – I can understand that – he seemed so settled and happy, but well, I know Dee."

"Seemed happy?"

"Bicky, not that I want it to happen for a minute, but sometimes relationships break down, even the ones that seem like they were made in Heaven."

She sounded like a teacher. Why was she patronising him? Was this some weird attempt to make him feel better? "Yeah, well, that's up to Dee and Ryo to decide." He stood from the couch. "You ring Ryo and give him the news," he said gloomily. "I'm outta here."

"Where are you going?" she asked, sensing she'd irritated him.

"Dunno," came the reply as he let himself out of Drake's apartment.

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Ryo had been in the office a mere forty five minutes when he received word that he was wanted in Rose's office. Although unwelcome, he'd anticipated it since Dr. Hargreaves had said he would have to inform the precinct of Dee's situation. With one last baleful look at the mountain of paperwork on his desk, he pushed back his chair and exited the office with the cop who had come to pass on the message.

Ryo entered the commissioner's inner sanctum after his efficient knock was rewarded with an equally efficient 'come in'. Rose was seated behind his imposing mahogany desk and talking on the telephone as Ryo came in. He looked up and gave the detective a brief nod of welcome, and gestured to the empty chair before his eyes returned to a pile of paperwork not dissimilar in size to the one Ryo had just left behind. The office smelled of fresh coffee and bagels – Ryo spotted the latter, half-eaten amongst the files and papers on Rose's desk. The commissioner had clearly taken to having breakfast on the job. Eventually, he ended the call and met Ryo's patient yet wary gaze.

"Detective McLain, I'm sure you know why you're here." His manner was not unfriendly, but it wasn't quite as sympathetic as Ryo had hoped. Rose's hard edges that had been softened by love and a near-death experience had sharpened again now he was back at the helm. It was understandable – some had felt his injuries would hamper his ability to cope with such a high pressure job, so to compensate he worked twice as hard as he had before his assault.

"It's about Dee, right?" Ryo replied with a miniscule grain of hope that he might be wrong.

Rose's reply was preceded by his shuffling through some of the papers on his desk until he located the one he wanted. "I've had a hospital report to say that Detective Dee McLain has been recommended for urgent psychiatric evaluation, following his recent admittance at ER." He finished by reading from the report. "He is currently undergoing evaluation for a stress-related condition, but it would be prudent as his employer to instigate your normal police procedure for when there is concern regarding an individual's personal safety." Rose paused and looked directly at Ryo, conveying his annoyance that the report wasn't more specific. "I'll be doing it anyway, but do you feel it's necessary?"

Ryo thought about it in the intervening silence. In his heart, 'no' was the only answer, but he had to respect the doctor's judgment, and so reluctantly he replied. "I guess it's better to be safe than sorry, Sir."

"You know he'll have to hand over his gun, and will be suspended from active duty, at least until this psychiatric evaluation has been completed?"

Again Ryo nodded.

"Is there anything you'd like to tell me, Detective McLain?"

Ryo shook his head. Although Rose had seemingly blessed their union with the generous gift of the hired limousine on their wedding day, Ryo couldn't help but think that there was still a small part of the commissioner, lurking beneath his steely exterior, that would like to see the relationship fail. Dee would forever be the love rival he had lost to, and the hint of a satisfied smirk was enough to guarantee Ryo's suspicion.

"Detective McLain," Rose said sharply, snapping Ryo out of his reverie. "I'm sure you're well aware, but the procedures the doctor has advised I instigate are usually indicative of a suicide risk. I really would appreciate knowing what's going on."

Rose was surprised to see Ryo's expression grow cold and hard. His eyes, normally the first to hint at the detective's gentle nature, were suddenly impenetrable, and Rose knew he was fighting a losing battle. Seeing Ryo wasn't about to answer, Rose dropped the report into one of his overflowing trays and sighed.

"Very well. You'll be asked to report to Ms. O'Fyre sometime this afternoon, so I suggest you postpone any non-office activities you had planned." He hurried to finish when he saw Ryo's indignant expression. "That of course is standard procedure, Detective McLain."

It was and Ryo knew it. Any officer that worked in partnership was asked to report to the precinct psychiatrist if anything happened to their work colleague, the logic being that they were the best person to offer an insight into their partner's state of mind.

"Very good, Sir," Ryo replied, his lips forming a thin line when he'd finished speaking. "Is that all?"

Rose nodded. "You're dismissed, Detective."

It was shortly after lunch when Jane, Rose's secretary, rang to say that the precinct psychiatrist would be expecting him in her office in ten minutes' time. Jane sounded almost apologetic as she passed on the message and hung up. Delores O'Fyre wasn't the most popular person at the precinct, and not just through the virtue of her job. Indeed, the annual interview every staff member was obliged to sit through with her had long since been dubbed the 'trial by Fyre' due to the general dislike she seemed to feel for those she was employed to support.

For a brief moment as he signed off his last piece of paperwork, Ryo found it impossible to believe that Dee had unburdened himself on his return from England to this disagreeable woman, until he remembered that she had been on a year-long secondment at that time. In her place was a younger, more approachable woman, similar to Polly Andrews, Dee's hospital-appointed counsellor. Shame it was only a secondment, Ryo thought darkly as he passed through an endless series of corridors after riding the elevator up to the sixth floor. He found her office, identified by a brass plate on the door, and knocked briskly.

"Come in."

There she was – same position as always, riding high behind her smooth maple desk, neatly arranged with pen holder, notepad and Thought for the Day desk calendar. A light scent of perfume wafted his way, carried towards him on the breeze that blew in from the slightly open window behind her. As he eased himself into the chair opposite, Ryo idly wondered when he stopped finding the feminine scent of perfume attractive. Nothing moved him like the powerful musky aroma of his lover, and the devilish part of him, longing to have a little fun after spending so long in celibacy while he was strong and sensible, begged him to tell her how much he loved cock – how he'd love to take Dee right here and now on top of her leather-bound diary and calendar that currently proclaimed: Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them. That would no doubt wipe the self-important, supercilious smirk off her face – an expression she wore right at that moment as she snapped shut her electronic organiser and gave him her full attention.

"Thank you for coming promptly, Detective McLain."

Ryo nodded, suddenly aware of a file on her desk labelled 'Latener, Dee'. She caught the direction of his gaze and offered him what was meant to be a reassuring smile.

"I'm sure you're aware that you're here to talk about your partner."

"Yes," Ryo replied stiffly.

"And obviously this isn't your usual work colleague interview because of your relationship with Detective Latener, but…"

"McLain."

"I'm sorry?"

Steely dark eyes fixed on her irritably. "His name is McLain. He changed it last year when we got married." He finished by raising his left hand, palm forwards, so she could see the white gold wedding band on his ring finger.

She smiled indulgently. "Of course. My apologies." She made a show of crossing out and correcting the type-written name on the front of Dee's file. "Now, I wonder if you could tell me whether you were concerned at all about your partner prior to his admittance at hospital."

Through the window behind the psychiatrist, Ryo watched a maintenance man working on a building across from the precinct for a moment before he answered. "You have Dee's file, I'm sure you know all about his past problems."

She ignored the abruptness in his tone. "Did you noticed his work suffering before he was… taken ill?"

Ryo's glare filled the space between them. "No."

It was a clash of strong personalities – one determined to do her job, the other angry and defensive of his lover, despite his anger at the man himself. He was determined to give her as little as possible, and was managing fairly well until she shattered the silence that had descended.

"Are you aware that Detective McLain has admitted to feeling suicidal in the past?"

Ryo couldn't hide his shock. He hadn't wanted to show her any vulnerability, either his own or Dee's, but it was clear that she knew more than him and again, he found himself angry at Dee for keeping him in the dark about things that had gone before.

"I – I didn't know," he admitted, horrified.

To her credit, Delores O'Fyre had the good grace to conceal her pleasure that she had shocked him from his silence. "Detective McLain, as intrusive as this interview may seem, it is with your partner's best interests in mind. I'm sure I don't need to remind you that you do a stressful job, where any errors can be costly to yourself and those you are employed to protect." Her tone was grave. She was not trying to be dramatic.

"I know," Ryo replied quietly, wondering how many more people were going to plant the image of Dee harming himself with his own gun in his mind…

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Bicky strode up to the hospital, not knowing if he would be allowed to see Dee, or even if Dee would want to see him. The receptionist directed him to the third floor and advised him that he would need to report to the reception there to gain admittance to the ward where Dee had been moved. Although Ryo had said the doctors were worried about Dee, Bicky was still surprised to find that he had been directed to a secure unit, where the heavy doors remained closed until a male nurse came to let him through. He was shown to a day room and told to wait there while the nurse went to find Dee.

The unit sounded busy. Several members of staff passed by, some escorting patients, some not. The sun streamed in, splaying light across the clean surfaces, which were surprisingly homely considering it was a hospital. Fresh flowers sat on top of a pine bookcase filled with well-read paperbacks. Only the distant sound of crying reminded the teenager that the unit was inhabited by troubled souls. His thoughts ended abruptly when the door opened and Dee stepped into the room.

Bicky wasn't sure what he was expecting, but the Dee that crossed the room towards him wasn't it. He looked clean and tidy and, well… sane. Bicky realised that once he had learned that Dee was in a secure psychiatric unit he had assumed the worst, but Dee didn't look unwell. Only when he sat down opposite, did Bicky notice the tightness in his smile and the dullness in his eyes.

"Hey, Bick, this is a surprise."

The blond boy furnished him with a cheeky grin. "Yeah, well, I was passing…" he replied casually.

Dee smiled, more genuinely this time. "Sure you were. Well, it's good to see you."

Bicky looked surprised, the sentiment clearly authentic. "Has Ryo not been?"

Dee looked down at his hands, wishing he hadn't left his cigarettes in his room. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "I told him not to come."

"Well that was dumb," Bicky replied, rolling his eyes.

"Hey," Dee said angrily. "You don't know what's going on!"

"Yeah, you're right, because everyone's being so goddamned suspicious. Ryo's doing it; even Tyler's being really weird."

"So why are you here, Bicky?"

The blond boy's response stalled. Why had he come? If he wanted to know more then he could just talk to Ryo, yet Ryo only seemed to want to confide in Tyler – a fact that bothered him although he couldn't say why.

"I just wanna know what's going on."

Dee looked past him, out of the window. "I don't know," he replied truthfully.

Bicky didn't look convinced. "Come on, Dee. You and Ryo… I can't believe you're just falling apart. Think of all the trouble you went to getting him to notice you! There was no way you were giving up then, even though I tried every trick in the book to get you to leave him alone."

Dee smiled despite himself at the memories Bicky's comments evoked. "You were a real little shit back then," he recalled, causing Bicky to grin.

"Yeah, guilty as charged," the teenager replied, with a tinge of pride at his mischief making. "But did it stop you? Hell no! So what gives now?"

Dee's brief good mood evaporated. "I dunno, Bick. Trust me, I don't want it to be like this." He sighed, knowing he was doing nothing to alleviate the boy's frustration. "Ryo's lost faith in me, Bicky. Something happened a long time ago and I didn't tell him. I thought it was for the best, but Ryo was really hurt when he found out. Since then, he thinks I can't be trusted." He paused. "I didn't cheat on him," he added sharply, reading the boy's expression accurately.

"Like I said, I was trying to protect him by not telling him what happened, but I guess it's backfired on me because now, when I really need him to believe me, he won't. Damn it," he muttered, more to himself than his visitor. "Things might be bad between us, but I can't believe he'd think I'd kill myself over it. That's just stupid."

"So you just forgot your insulin?"

For a minute, Bicky thought Dee was about to hit him. The man's scowl intensified and he opened his mouth, most likely to shout, until he seemed to remember where he was and how damaging an outburst might be to his chances of getting out of there soon. His mouth snapped shut as he closed his eyes and sighed deeply, massaging his temples to sooth his irritation.

"I didn't forget. I gave myself my regular injections in the same way I always have. No different. I swear to you, Bicky, on Ryo's life, Penguin's life, anyone's. I don't understand why the doctor says I had no insulin in my body, because I did those injections."

The emerald green eyes that met his own only spoke the truth. Bicky was overwhelmed by how obviously important it was for Dee to make someone believe him. His anger at being told again that he must have just forgotten had dissipated, leaving a pleading, desperate need for someone just to take him at his word. He must be desperate, Bicky thought to himself, if he thinks my opinion counts.

"Shame we can't get Bright to back you up," he said casually, hoping Dee would see the lighter side of the comment, which wasn't intended to offend.

"How is he?"

"Missing you."

Dee sighed again. "You know, I'm almost certain Tyler saw me do at least one of my injections, if not more, but she's saying she didn't. I can't understand why she's not backing me up – we used to be so close."

Dee's own confusion seemed to compound Bicky's unease about what he had witnessed of Tyler's recent actions. Something was wrong. He had no idea what, but things definitely didn't seem to add up, and his instincts told him that Tyler was somehow involved.

"I believe you, Dee."

The comment surprised the detective, who looked up to meet Bicky's serious gaze. When he saw no sign of deception, his features slackened in relief. "Thank you. That means a lot."

His reaction reaffirmed the teenager's belief that he had to do something. "I can't promise anything, Dee, but I'm gonna try and get to the bottom of what's going on."

Dee was about to respond when the day room door opened and a cheerful young nurse walked in.

"There you are, Dee," she said, her voice as bright as her outward appearance. "Lunch is nearly ready so I've come to do your insulin."

Dee made a face, but still rolled his sleeve up to expose his upper arm. He ignored her jovial attempts at conversation as she administered his medication.

"There you go," she said. "All done."

"Great," Dee murmured under his breath as she collected up the equipment she had brought in and headed for the door. She smiled warmly at Bicky as she announced that she would return when lunch was ready.

"What's that about?" Bicky asked once she'd gone.

He recognised a flash of humiliation that passed across Dee's features before it disappeared beneath his frown. "I'm not allowed to do my own injections. Unit rules."

"What? Why?"

"Same reason I'm not allowed to go home. Because they think I'll do something stupid."

Bicky's response was heartening. "That's bullshit." He paused, expecting chastisement for the profanity. When it didn't come, he ducked his head trying to make eye contact with his despondent guardian. "Just hang in there, okay?"

He waited for Dee to nod a response before he headed for the door, determined to start gathering some answers, and fast.

TBC…