Author's note: Sorry for the delay in posting. I'm going through a tough time in my personal life right now so writing has kind of gone on the back burner. I'm still working on this fic (and others) though. Thanks as always for the reviews. -Swordy

Somewhere in Between

Chapter 14 – Seeds of Doubt

He wasn't the only person searching that morning. Cal had arrived at Dee and Ryo's to find that all the occupants were out. Determined to track Bicky down and find out what had happened over at Drake's she headed for the orphanage, thinking that the teen might have gone there to see some friends that he had made there, since it wasn't far from Drake's place. She didn't find Bicky, but stayed briefly to speak to Penguin, who told Cal of her concerns that she hadn't heard from Dee for a while.

"He's been a little busy," Cal said vaguely, her eyes fixed on a lock of blond hair she held between her fingers as she spoke.

Penguin straightened up from the floor she was polishing and gave the girl a knowing smile. "Is my boy in Ryo's bad books?"

Cal blushed at being found out. "They'll be fine," she replied, not wanting the elderly woman to probe further and find out how serious things had gotten. "I think Tyler's been talking to them both."

Penguin nodded, her smile growing warmer at the mention of the girl's name. "She's a good girl. She and Dee, they were always so close. Dee was so good for her, especially when she decided to come out as a teenager."

It took Cal a moment for the nun's words to register. "Tyler is…?"

"A lesbian? Oh yes, or at least she was at your age." The nun chuckled, mostly to herself. "I know preferences sometimes change with age."

Cal didn't hear the last part. All she could hear, playing crystal clear in her mind, was Tyler's comment to Bicky that she would have 'freaked' about a gay relationship – even someone else's – at his age.

"Well," Penguin said, her voice cutting into Cal's thoughts. "I'll tell Bicky that you're looking for him if he comes around this way."

"Uh, okay… thanks," the pretty teen replied, already making for the door. "Bye, Sister."

"Tell Dee to ring his old mother," the nun called after her, before returning to her polishing with a contented sigh.

Cal was looking at Bicky long before she actually noticed him. She felt guilty about keeping Penguin in the dark about Dee and Ryo but, mostly it was the nun's comment about Tyler that kept her so preoccupied that she almost ran into her boyfriend before she actually realised it was him.

"Hey, Cal," he said, reflecting her surprise that they had just stumbled across each other by chance. He grabbed her hand and pulled her in for a kiss, wondering when the day would come that he would overtake her in height and she wouldn't have to stoop slightly when their lips met.

"Hey, Bick. I've been looking for you for ages. Where've you been?"

"I went to see Dee," he said, somewhat distractedly, looking around as he spoke. "Listen, can we go somewhere to talk?"

"Sure," she replied, unsuccessfully trying to meet his gaze for any clue as to what was wrong before he turned away, expecting her to follow.

The walked in silence past several of their usual hang out spots before Bicky, leading her by the hand, pulled her into a café she was certain neither of them had been to in their lives. She didn't question his choice of location until they had placed their order for drinks from a disinterested-looking waitress.

"I wanted somewhere quiet to talk," he explained, fuelling Cal's curiosity further when he glanced around to check out the other patrons of the café, of which there were very few. Cal seemed to realise that this was instrumental in their coming here and, once their drinks had been served, she asked if her assumption was correct. Bicky replied in the affirmative.

"But why? Don't want us to be overheard or something?" she chuckled.

"No."

Her humour faded. "You're serious, aren't you? Anyone in particular?"

Bicky hesitated for a moment before he replied. "Tyler."

She knew he was watching her response. He seemed relieved that she didn't dismiss him out of hand. "Okay, well d'you want to tell me why? Did something happen when you went to Drake's?"

"No, not then…" He worried the ice cubes in his drink with the straw for a moment. "It's just a few things she's said, I dunno, I just get the feeling that she might have something to do with the weird shit that's been going on around here."

This time he was genuinely surprised when she made no attempt to contradict him. She wasn't going to – her own musings about Tyler following Penguin's comment had yielded several inconsistencies that, now she gave it greater thought, added up to a whole lot of weirdness.

"What's worrying you?" she asked, conveying that she wanted him to tell her everything. Bicky tugged at a stray lock of hair that immediately sprang back into place the moment he let it go. "I dunno, some of it's hard to explain. It's just the way she is around Dee and Ryo. She goes really weird whenever they hug and stuff, yet she says she's really happy they're together."

"I remember a time when you didn't like seeing them together," Cal commented, playing Devil's advocate.

Bicky made a face. "That's when I thought Dee just wanted to get Ryo into bed."

Cal smiled, knowing it was true. "Okay, what else?"

"When Dee left and I asked her to go and speak to him to try and talk some sense into him, I dunno, I just felt like she didn't want to, and she's always really negative about their relationship."

"How?"

"She talks like they've already decided to split up."

"Maybe she thinks she's just trying to be realistic?"

"Pessimistic, more like it," Bicky replied with a snort. "You wanna hear her, Cal, she's already written them off, I swear!"

"Maybe she's a little jealous that Dee's got someone now, and it's not just him and her anymore."

Bicky contemplated this, frowned, and then shook his head. "But she's really nice to Ryo." His frown deepened. "In fact, she's probably nicer to Ryo than she is to Dee. It doesn't make sense."

Cal's own consideration of this situation brought her to a similar conclusion – Tyler did seem to get on better with Ryo than Dee.

"She also doesn't seem very upset that Dee's locked up in some loony bin. I don't see her going to visit him, do you?"

His anger surprised her. "How is he?"

Bicky looked up from his drink and met her gaze. "He's really miserable. He's stuck in that place with a load of crazy people, being talked to like he's a child." He snorted at the memory. "They don't even trust him to do his own insulin, like he's gonna flip and stab them with his needle!"

Cal looked shocked by the news. "Surely not?"

"Yeah, well. Rules are rules apparently."

"No wonder he's miserable," she said, returning to her own drink. She gulped down a large mouthful before she continued. "Are you gonna tell Ryo that you've been to see Dee?"

"I dunno. What d'you think?"

She thought about it while twisting the ring on her finger, one that Bicky had bought her. "I'd tell him you've been – maybe it'll persuade him to visit, despite what Dee says, but I'd keep your suspicions about Tyler between us for now. She's being such a good support to him, I doubt he'd believe you."

"I know," Bicky agreed gloomily. "But there's definitely something going on – I haven't told you the weirdest thing yet."

"Go on."

"Last night, I heard someone moving around. It was three am, so I got up to check it out. She was up getting a drink from the kitchen…."

"So?"

"She had her boots on – come to think of it, she was fully dressed. Why would she have gotten dressed to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night?"

Cal had to admit it was an action that she could not readily explain. Her silence however, mistakenly told Bicky that she was having a hard time believing him.

"You think I'm jumping to conclusions?" he asked, although it came out more like a statement.

"No, no," Cal hastened to say. "You've always had good instincts, Bick, and I believe you. I was just thinking about something Mother Maria said this morning." She explained how she had gone looking for him at the orphanage and ended up chatting to the elderly nun. "She was singing Dee's praises as usual and saying how good he was for Tyler, particularly when she realised that she was gay."

The blond boy's eyes widened. "She's…?"

"Yeah, apparently so. Mother Maria said she came out as a teenager. Dee was good for her because he'd already told everyone he was bi and was happy with who he was."

"Wow, I'd never have guessed," Bicky mused. Cal quickly realised he'd missed the point.

"Do you not remember when Dee and Ryo were in England?" she asked, trying to evoke the memory that had stuck in her mind when she had learned this surprising piece of information. "She said she was glad that you were so cool about Dee and Ryo because she'd have freaked…"

"At my age." Bicky finished the sentence, now realising why Cal had brought it up.

"Exactly," the girl said, nodding.

Bicky pushed his now empty glass away from him and glared at it as if it were responsible for all the recent problems. "Why would she say that?" he thought out loud.

Cal shrugged. "Dunno. I thought it was a little strange. It's almost like she's a different person from the Tyler Dee knew when he was younger."

It was Bicky's turn to nod his agreement. "Well, we need to get to the bottom of this," he said gravely, "because if Ryo's believing Tyler, then we're about the only friends Dee's got."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ryo picked up his briefcase and slid several case files into it before snapping the catches shut and reaching for his jacket. The day was dragging - he'd been to visit the family of the man found murdered in the alleyway to inform them that an arrest had been made. He was doing well to keep his mind on work until the victim's elderly mother had asked him where the handsome dark-haired man was that had been with him last time. Muttering a vague comment about him being ill, he'd retreated to the safety of his car and returned to the precinct. He was about to leave the office to do another house call when the door opened, bringing him face to face with Drake, freshly returned from his out of state investigation.

"Drake, good to have you back."

"Hey, McLain," the other detective said with a beaming smile of welcome. "How's things?"

"Fine," Ryo replied, forcing the most unnatural smile he'd ever attempted onto his face. It didn't last long. "Actually, they're terrible."

Drake had had a feeling that something was amiss when he'd received the call to say Dee was no longer at his apartment. He'd presumed of course that it was because the lovers had reconciled their differences, but the slightly flat note in Ryo's voice on the answer machine had made him suspect different. He'd thought he was being paranoid – but clearly not.

"Why, what's up?"

Ryo glanced at his watch, knowing that in order to make it on time to his visit, he would have to leave now to beat the downtown traffic. "I gotta go. Are you free tonight? We could go for a drink."

Drake knew there was more required than alcohol in Ryo's request. "Sure, buddy."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later to make plans."

"Okay, great." Drake unblocked the doorway to let him past, only then becoming aware of the fact that Dee wasn't with him. But Ryo was quickly disappearing down the stairs and besides, Drake sensed that it wasn't a good time to ask.

Ryo arrived home to find a note from Bicky stating that he and Cal would be out for the evening. The wearied detective was relieved to find that they had walked Bright before they had gone out, leaving him one less job to do. Dee's canine companion had been noticeably quiet in his master's absence and twice, Ryo had had to remove items of Dee's clothing that the dog had secreted into his bed, as if the scent offered him some glimmer of hope that Dee hadn't left him permanently.

After further examination Ryo found that all the chores he had anticipated having to do had been done; a fact confirmed when Tyler emerged from the bathroom carrying a box of cleaning products. She offered Ryo a warm smile.

"I found your list," she said sheepishly, referring to the chores Ryo had written out for himself.

He blushed as he responded. "Hey, I didn't write them down so you'd do them for me."

She chuckled and unpinned her hair, letting the auburn locks frame her face. "I know you didn't, but I did it so you could relax. Now I want you to take it easy. I'm just gonna nip to the grocery store to get the last couple of ingredients for tonight's dinner."

Ryo smiled at the thought of not having to cook either. "Bicky's out."

"I know. Guess it's just you and me," she said happily. "Now relax! That's an order." She grabbed her purse and was almost to the door when he stopped her.

"Tyler?"

She turned at the sound of her name. "What?"

"Thanks, for everything I mean. I don't know what I've have done without you lately."

She smiled, hoping the exhilaration didn't show on her face. "I'll be right back," she said, leaving him alone in the apartment.

No sooner had she left when Ryo's cell phone rang in his jacket pocket. "So much for relaxing," he murmured before he checked the caller ID and saw Drake's name. "Hey Drake, still up for that drink?"

"Definitely," came the slightly crackled reply. "Listen; my sister is calling to bring me her keys so that I can watch her apartment while she's on vacation. She only lives a block away from you, so she says she'll pick you up on her way past."

"You sure?" Ryo asked, thinking of Drake's gregarious older sister. "I don't want to put her out."

"Trust me, you won't. You know she's got a soft spot for you. She asked can you be waiting outside at eight."

"Okay, great. See you later."

The call ended and Ryo allowed himself to fall backwards onto the couch, tired, but also glad that he was going out to he could talk with Drake. He'd all but dozed off when a key sounded in the lock, signifying Tyler's return.

"Don't you move," she said, smiling as if she'd never stopped when she saw him lying on the couch. "I'll call you when dinner's ready."

She did just that, and Ryo found that she had prepared a wonderful meal of seafood pasta and fresh salad. She wouldn't hear of his attempts to reimburse her when she produced a bottle of expensive white wine.

"And don't worry about the washing up," she announced as she began to clear away the plates. "You go and get comfy on the couch. I rented us that movie you wanted to see…"

Her voice trailed off at the look on his face. "I'm so sorry, Tyler," he said, genuinely apologetic. "I'm already going out later. Did I forget to tell you?"

Her acting knew no limits as she smiled casually. "Oh, it's okay. It's my fault. I should have asked you first."

He looked relieved that she seemed to understand. "We can watch it tomorrow. I'll pay the late return fine at the rental store. Thanks for dinner though. You really are an angel."

He stepped forward and kissed her gently on the cheek, before leaving the room to go get showered and changed. Once he had gone, she allowed her façade to slip. She was angry that he was going out without telling her, but ecstatic and light-headed from the kiss. 'An Angel' he had called her. An Angel. That easily cancelled out her annoyance.

She was reading a magazine when he emerged from his bedroom at ten to eight. She looked up from the article she was skimming and smiled, after appraising the image before her.

"You look nice."

Ryo smiled gratefully at the polite compliment. He was so used to Dee and his way of doing things. Dee's compliments often involved feverish kisses or a quick grope after he had told his lover how hot he looked. Ryo was by no means adverse to this show of desire and admiration – Dee's attentions always did wonders for his ego. Immersed in his more pleasurable thoughts of his lover, Ryo didn't realise Tyler had spoken until he caught her expectant gaze.

"Sorry, I was a million miles away then."

"I said, are you going anywhere nice?"

Ryo checked his watch. "Just out for a drink with a friend. I'd better go. I'm being picked up at outside." He smiled as he headed for the door. "Don't wait up."

She turned back to her magazine once he'd gone, before curiosity got the better of her and she moved to the doors that opened out onto the balcony. Glancing over the edge, she waited a couple of minutes before Ryo appeared on the street below. She watched as he waved and quickly crossed the street to where a car was idling on the opposite kerb. The driver was out of the vehicle, also waiting, and waved back when Ryo came into view.

"What the…?" Laura started to say under her breath, aware of her anger rising within her. Down below, Ryo was in the arms of a woman; long, dark hair cascading down her back as she hugged him enthusiastically. Ryo seemed to be returning the embrace, and once it was at an end, he climbed into the passenger seat of the woman's car and the two drove off together.

"No!" she yelled, moving back inside the apartment and slamming the door behind her. Her eyes flashed murderously. "I won't let you betray me, Randy! You're mine!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Drake's sister dropped Ryo off at her brother's apartment, staying briefly to hand over her keys and chat to the two men. Clearly she had been primed before the event, as never once did she mention Dee. Ryo couldn't resist a chuckle once she'd gone.

"Sandra sure does talk a lot," he observed, accepting the beer Drake gave him, after they had decided to have one at the apartment before they went out.

"Well, she gets all silly and girly in your handsome presence. She was depressed for a week when she found out you were gay and a month when you got married."

Ryo didn't reply, the comment bringing bittersweet memories with it. Their wedding day and how happy they had been seemed a lifetime away.

"So how was Pittsburgh?" he asked eventually.

His companion rolled his eyes in response. "Pretty depressing. The guys we've been working with have got a couple more murders they're ready to pin on Anderson. It's turning into one goddamned complicated investigation, but at least he's certain not to evade the death penalty this time."

Ryo nodded, knowing how much time Drake and JJ had spent on the case. He'd missed having the two men around the office, especially recently when he was without Dee.

"So how are your cases going?" Drake asked, sensing Ryo wasn't ready to talk about him and Dee just yet.

"Okay," Ryo replied, after a long drink of his beer. "Things have gone quiet at the moment. Although that's probably a good thing," he added, smiling humourlessly.

That was the opening Drake needed. "Want to talk about it?" he asked. He watched as the blond carefully set his beer on the table and studied his now empty hands. When he looked up to meet Drake's expectant gaze, his unhappiness was obvious.

"A lot's happened while you've been gone," he said, knowing that was a huge understatement as he started to explain everything that had taken place since Drake had left Dee living in his apartment. Drake listened in silence, never once verbally communicating his shock or disbelief at what he was told, although his expression spoke volumes about his feelings on the subject. Only when Ryo had finished did he ask any questions.

"Deep down, do you believe the doctor's theory, Ryo?"

"I don't know what to believe any more," the blond replied, pushing his hair back off his face with both hands.

"Don't you trust him?"

Ryo stalled. Drake seemed… annoyed? Surprised? Disappointed? He obviously found it hard to believe that he wasn't taking Dee's word for it, but how could he let him know that he had good reason for doubting Dee?

"I'm sorry, Drake."

"Don't apologise," the other man said quickly. "You obviously know more about what's going on. It's just… Suicide just doesn't sound like Dee and I've known him a long time, you know?"

Ryo's only reply was an almost imperceptible nod of the head. Everyone seemed to be saying that to him, somehow implying that their knowledge of Dee was greater than his. He'd thought that knowing Dee intimately for the past few years would count for something, but the fact that those around him kept reminding him of the longevity of their friendship with Dee made him wonder if he really knew his husband at all.

"You ain't thinking it's over between you, are you?" Drake's voice broke the silence that had started to stretch on. The question hung in the air for several moments more before Ryo dared trust his voice to answer.

"I – I don't know. I still love him, Drake, but so much has come between us recently – I wish I could tell you so you'd understand that I don't want things to be like this, but I – I…" His voice dissolved with his determination not to break down. Drake stood and moved across to where Ryo was sitting and placed his hand supportively on Ryo's shaking shoulder.

The blond hastily wiped away a tear before looking up at his friend gratefully. "I'm sorry, Drake. I didn't want to burden you like this. I just needed someone to talk to."

"Hey, we're friends, right?"

He'd barely finished speaking when the phone started to ring. He glanced at Ryo apologetically before he went to answer it.

"What? Really? No shit…" The fractured conversation at Drake's end gave Ryo no indication of who his friend and colleague was talking to, but he correctly guessed it was work-related when Drake ended the call with: "I'll be right there."

Ryo hurriedly composed himself, realising their heart to heart was about to come to an abrupt end. He suddenly felt awkward and foolish with his emotions on show. "I'll go," he said, standing quickly as Drake came back into the room. "I'd kinda gone off the idea of going out anyway."

Drake ran a hand through his hair, unhappy that he was running out on Ryo when he clearly needed to talk. "I'm really sorry, Ryo. That was one of the wardens at Sing Sing. Waylan Anderson wants to make a deal – drop the death penalty and he'll reveal the location of some of his victim's bodies that were never found. He wants to talk now."

Despite the man's obvious regret, Ryo could see the electric thrill of anticipation in his eyes. This was a big breakthrough on an even bigger case. He couldn't blame Drake for feeling so eager.

"No problem. It's great news. You deserve this break."

Drake grinned. "I gotta call JJ. He's not gonna believe it."

Ryo left quickly, sensing Drake's mind was quite rightly elsewhere. He caught a cab home, the silence allowing him time to contemplate his confusing emotions. While he'd been at Drake's it had started to rain and the streets were empty as a result.

There was no one around as he made his way up to his apartment, almost overwhelmed by an acute feeling of loneliness. Bicky would still be out since he was home earlier than expected, although Tyler would hopefully be there, sparing him the agony of returning to an empty apartment. She was still up when he entered, but unusually she didn't turn and greet him, instead offering him only a cursory glance and a flat-sounding 'hello'. Bright trotted in from the kitchen, wagging his stump of a tail, sensing but not understanding Tyler's coldness. Ryo almost wept at the dog's genuine gesture of welcome.

"You're home early," she commented, never looking up from her book as she spoke.

"Uh, yeah, Drake got called out – work stuff."

"You were out with Drake?" It was a question, but the flatness of her intonation made it more of a statement – one that she sounded doubtful of its truth.

"Yeah, sorry, didn't I say I was meeting Drake?"

"No you didn't."

He was taken aback by the forcefulness of her response. She sounded like a school teacher chastising a naughty child. The moment suddenly felt awkward and Ryo wasn't sure what to say as he stood, coat over one arm, his other hand resting lightly on Bright's soft head.

"Well, I think I'll get to bed." He started to walk to the bedroom and had reached the door when impulsively he turned and signalled for the dog to come to him.

"He can stay with me tonight," he said, partly to answer Tyler's now questioning gaze. Her nod was enough for him to ascertain that she wasn't about to comment or ask why, so he bid her goodnight and closed the door once he and Bright were inside the room.

He wondered what Dee would think if he knew that for the first time ever, he had allowed Bright onto their bed. He was always the disciplinarian; the one that looked disapprovingly when Dee permitted his canine friend into the territory that they had agreed was out of bounds. Even though he would always have that role in the dog's eyes, Bright settled happily into the space beside him, as if being close to him was almost as good as being close to Dee. Eager to occupy his brain with thoughts other than his unhappiness, he delved into his book, reading for almost a solid hour as his other hand lazily stroked Bright's velvety back, the dog making contented grunting noises every so often.

When his eyes grew heavy, he reached across for his bookmark, only then pausing to study the photograph he used to identify where he was in his book. His eyes flicked between him and Dee smiling happily for the camera, a lump forming in his throat. He covered his face, stifling a sob that woke Bright who turned and looked at him curiously. Confused by the strange noises the man was making, Bright crawled up the bed and tried to lick Ryo's face in between his fingers. His frantic attempts made Ryo laugh through his tears, and he rewarded the dog with an enthusiastic hug.

"You're not quite Dee," he said as the dog settled back down beside him. "But you're the closest thing I've got right now." The dog cocked his head, showing that he was listening. "I guess I'm kinda like the consolation prize for you, right?" Ryo continued as he flicked off his bedside light and rested his hand once more on the dog's body as they lay in the darkness together. "You want Dee back here too, huh? Well, for now, you'll have to make do with me and I'll have to make do with you."

It was something of a depressing thought.

TBC…