Author's note – Sorry to keep you waiting so long. A new four-legged addition to our household has been keeping me away from the computer! If you didn't hate Laura before, I'm sure you will by the end of this chapter…

Thanks as always to Peacewish, and to all you reviewers. I'm not sure you'll like this chapter, but I hope it entertains you none the less. Much love - Swordy

Somewhere in Between

Chapter 15 – Luck of the Devil

Two days passed and time seemed to race and yet stand still. As Ryo sat drinking a cup of tea before he left for work, he couldn't help but ponder how fractured his family had become. Dee was in the hospital and Bicky, if it were possible, had become even more of a typical teenager with his growing reticence about his activities. Even Tyler, who had seemed such a welcome addition to their family, appeared to have grown distant over the last couple of days, and Ryo couldn't help but think that he'd somehow offended her. He figured she must be upset about Dee – maybe she even blamed him for his lover's current predicament. Yet she had seemed so happy the other day…

A small smile crept onto his lips. He'd never been very good at understanding the female psyche. Times like this, he was glad he was gay - not that that came with any fewer problems, he thought dryly as he drained the last of his tea and collected his briefcase.

He met Bicky, who was leaving his bedroom, as he shrugged into his jacket once his shoulder holster was in place. Bright was hot on the teenager's heels. He wagged his tail at Ryo, but his joie de vivre seemed tempered and probably would remain that way until Dee returned.

"You going to see Dee today?" the blond teen asked, patting the dog's muscular back affectionately. He was rewarded with several loving licks of his outstretched fingers.

"I don't know," Ryo replied vaguely, sweeping a hand through his dark blond hair. "Things are complicated, Bicky, you know?"

"Sure they are," the boy said, annoyed at what he saw as Ryo's attempts to patronise him. "I'm taking Bright out." He hurried past Ryo, grabbing the dog's leash and his keys off the side.

"Bicky…"

"Later, Ryo."

And then he was gone. With a weary sigh, Ryo picked up his briefcase and followed him out of the apartment, certain that even if he caught up with his adoptive son, the boy would not talk to him.

Everyone seems angry with me, he thought as he stood waiting for the elevator to stop at his floor, only just barely curbing the urge to return to the apartment and climb back into bed where he could hide from the rest of the world, at least for one day.

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"Thanks," JJ said, accepting the Styrofoam cup of coffee gratefully when Drake handed it to him. With his right hand now free, Drake removed the paper bag he had been gripping between his teeth and placed it on the low brick wall, next to his own drink. Steam from the freshly made coffee mingled into the damp morning air as he busied himself with the bag, smiling as his eyes sought out the contents.

"You'll never get a date if you keep stuffing your face with those," JJ remarked, nodding his head over the rim of his cup at the donut Drake was busy removing from its packaging.

"Oh that's right, rub it in," Drake replied, making a face at his partner. "How was your date anyway?"

JJ stared out at the small boat anchored at the edge of the river where the police divers were preparing to go overboard yet again into the uninviting waters. "Cute, smart, funny."

"You get laid?"

It was the younger man's turn to make a face. "What kind of question is that?"

"That's a yes then?"

JJ inclined his head towards the water. "They're going in."

Drake chuckled at his partner's evasion as he watched the divers disappear beneath the murky depths. "Reckon they'll find anything?"

JJ shrugged as he pulled the collar of his jacket up against the bracing wind. "This is one of the spots Anderson described. We'll soon find out if he's telling the truth or not."

There was a sombre moment of silence as each man contemplated their feelings should the gloomy waters of the Hudson River reveal their tragic secrets. Waylan Anderson, the man quickly earning himself the right to be referred to as a serial killer as a result of his activities over the last twenty years, had been granted a reprieve from the death penalty by furnishing detectives Parker and Adams with a list of locations where his victims could hopefully still be found. The first, a woodland area outside West Hills, had yielded nothing, although Anderson had been admittedly uncertain about an exact location there. This second site, he had been able to give more specific details about, giving the two coordinating this grim investigation greater hope that their searches would not all be in vain. After this, they had five other places to check out.

A small group of onlookers had assembled behind the police cordon, eager to know the reason for the buzz of activity this early in the morning. The two detectives leading the operation suspected there might be a couple of journalists in the crowd, but so far no one had shouted any questions. It would be unlikely to stay that way, but ignoring even the most persistent of reporters had become second nature over the years.

JJ turned to study the group, bemused by how they could stay there in the cold when they weren't obliged to be there like he was. Some had been there nearly as long as him and Drake and the other officers – over four hours in the cold. He let his mind wander from work for a few minutes, making the pleasant trip into his memories of the previous evening, to his dinner date with the man he had met on the normally boring lunch-run to the deli near the precinct. He was smart and funny, just like he had told Drake, and like the icing on an already attractive cake, he had a look of Jai from 'Queer Eye'. The evening had ended with nothing more than coffee and a kiss, but Drake's suggestion of intimacy would hopefully be something for the future.

"Thinking about your new fancy man?"

"No," JJ replied, a little too sharply. The blush that stained his cheeks made Drake laugh. "Well at least I wasn't home with a TV dinner and a copy of Playboy as my only source of romantic entertainment."

"Ah, so you did get laid?" he said, wadding up the now empty donut bag and shoving it into his pocket. "Anyway, I wasn't home last night either."

"No?"

"I went to see Dee."

JJ's attention turned from watching the water to his partner. Even though he hadn't seen much of Dee or Ryo over the last few weeks, Drake had filled him in on all that had gone on, and where Dee was right at that moment.

"How is he?"

The question required a moment's contemplation. "He's okay. I can't understand why he's in there, hell, he can't understand why he's there. More than anything, he's bored. He's says there's only so many times you can play checkers before you want to throw the board out the window and flush the pieces down the john."

JJ smiled, knowing that sounded like Dee. He'd long since accepted that his love for the other man would forever be unrequited, but he would always care deeply for him and had been horrified to learn of Dee's incarceration. Fortunately Drake seemed to be telling the truth when he said Dee seemed okay.

"So what about Ryo? How's he?"

Drake made a puzzled face. "I dunno. He's harder to read. He's obviously devastated by what's happened, but he won't go and see Dee. I swear something's happened between them – but neither of them will talk about it."

His frustration was obvious and JJ felt the need to reassure him. "They'll be okay. Those two… they were obviously meant to be together. They'll work it out."

Drake grinned suddenly. "The odd couple, you used to call them."

"And I stand by it," JJ replied, somewhat indignant that Drake was making fun of his earlier jealousy-motivated observations. "I guess it's the old 'opposites attract' cliché. They're polar opposites, but it works."

"I hear you."

"Come on," JJ said nodding to the police diver who was waving them over as the boat glided towards the land. "I think they're done. Let's go and see what they've got for us."

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Dee lay back on his bed and stared unblinking at a space on the ceiling. The bed was hard – warm and clean, but not comfortable. He thought of the bed he shared with Ryo – how inviting it always seemed, particularly when his lover's warm body was waiting for him under the covers.

He sighed in the semi-darkness, weary but not tired. The entire day had proved to be much like any other over the past week – a barrage of questions on everything, from his childhood, to his job and his relationship with Ryo. He'd answered everything they asked and he knew they were puzzled by how calm and open he was. The only reason he was still there was his insistence that he hadn't tried to kill himself almost a week ago. A week – had it really been that long?

Realising they had reached a stalemate, he had started to relent – letting them think that he had just been in denial, but now could admit the truth. It was a lie of course, but all of a sudden they seemed satisfied that he wasn't going to harm himself again. Indeed, during his afternoon session they'd mentioned allowing him to leave, maybe as early as tomorrow. He knew that information should make him happy, but the ongoing situation with Ryo quickly killed any joy that his impending release might create. They hadn't spoken since the day he had been committed and he had asked Ryo to leave.

Bicky's visit had been a surprise, but a very welcome one. He'd sensed the boy was dissatisfied with the rift in his home situation and wanted to do something about it, but more importantly he seemed to believe that he, Dee, hadn't tried to kill himself. The blond teen told him to 'hang in there' indicating that he had some kind of plan in mind, but hadn't returned, nor had he convinced Ryo to come and visit either. Maybe investing his hopes in a fourteen year-old had been a bit ambitious.

His thoughts were scrambled by a shout from an adjacent room. Tobey, a fellow detainee, was demanding that he be let out, his shouts echoing down the corridor at least once or twice every ten minutes or so. During a game of cards earlier in the week Tobey had explained that he had manic depression and had committed himself a couple of weeks ago. Over the last day or so, Dee had noticed Tobey becoming increasingly restless, culminating in their bizarre conversation where he announced to the bemused detective that he had devised a filter system for tropical fish that would enable them to live forever. He had several thousand dollars in a savings account, all of which he was prepared to use to fund his clearly insane innovation.

Dee had later mentioned their conversation to a nurse who had explained that this was the manic component of Tobey's condition – and the reason Tobey had requested he be committed. He had become good at understanding when a manic episode was almost upon him, putting him in danger of risking his finances, and sometimes his life, for some ridiculous whim. His foresight counted for nothing at present when, gripped in the excitement of his current preoccupation, he was demanding he be let out so he could decimate his savings on the necessary equipment. It didn't seem to matter that he had asked them to ignore his pleas or that it was past midnight and everyone else was in bed, trying to sleep.

Shut up, Dee thought as Tobey complained yet again, this time accompanying his indignant request with several heavy blows to his locked door. Anytime now, the nurses would come around to stop his increasingly frenzied behaviour. Dee's immediate instinct was to reach for a cigarette to settle and calm him. His hand had reached the packet when he remembered that he wasn't allowed to smoke in his room and he tossed them away in frustration. Even if he could, he had no means to light one, with matches and lighters not permitted in the bedrooms, due to the temptation they held for some of setting fire to their furniture as a means of escape.

"Fuck," he growled as Tobey started again. Further down the corridor someone else shouted: "For Christ's sake, Tobey, shut up!"

The nurses were on the corridor now, two or three of them by the sounds of it adding to the noise as Tobey continued to complain, while the other unit residents complained about him. Dee closed his eyes and massaged his temples, suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to make peace with Ryo and get out of this place. Hearing the suffering around him made him determined to seize his dwindling chance of happiness.

He grabbed his phone and dialled Ryo's cell. He knew the other man would have it switched off at such a late hour but that was what he wanted – leaving a message felt easier than speaking to his lover in person. The ball would be back in Ryo's court then.

He listened as it rang just once before transferring to Ryo's voicemail, the blond's gentle tones helping to filter out the noise going on around him. All too soon, the beep was upon him, prompting him to start his message.

"Uh, Ryo… It's me. I miss you… and I want us to talk. I know things haven't been good between us and I'm sorry. I love you and I want to try and make things right if you do too. I'm gonna be out of here, maybe tomorrow, and… I'd like to come home, but only if you want that too. So I guess what I'm saying is, I'm leaving it up to you. If you'll take me back." He paused as his voice wavered slightly with emotion. "I love you, Ryo. I hope it's not too late. If you don't reply then I'll assume that it is and I won't call you again. Drake will probably let me stay at his. I'll – I'll understand if you think it's too late. I hope you'll reply but I'll understand if you don't."

He ended the rambling message but continued to clutch his phone as his emotions slowly settled back into the numbness he had grown used to over the past week. It was up to Ryo now – all he could do was wait – and hope.

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Dee knew Ryo would get the message. His lover was as regular as clockwork with his cell. He always ensured that it was sufficiently charged, turned it on as he woke up and off when he went to bed. The following day, the blond did just that, turning the device on as he wandered into the kitchen almost ready to leave for work. Laura was eating some cereal and reading the paper. She smiled as he entered, her previous shortness with him having passed.

"Do you want some tea?" she asked, setting down the paper in preparation to serve him.

"That'd be great," he replied, throwing a banana and an apple into his briefcase as a plaintive cry drifted in from the other end of the apartment.

"Ryooooooooooo!"

The detective set his belongings on the table and stuck his head around the kitchen door. "What, Bicky?"

"I think I left my schoolbag in your car last night."

Ryo looked back at Laura and rolled his eyes. "Well you know where the car is," he shouted in reply.

"But I'm gonna be late! I'm in the shower!"

Ryo sighed and shook his head as he snatched up his car keys. "Hold the tea," he said to Laura as he left the kitchen.

Almost as soon as he'd gone, his cell started to ring. Laura jumped up with it in her hand, having expected Ryo to have heard it, but the front door was already closed. She looked at the caller ID to see that it was an incoming voice message. Checking she could still hear the shower running, she pressed the answer button and put the handset to her ear.

The emotion in the speaker's voice was obvious as she listened to the message, at the same time keeping her eyes open for either Ryo or Bicky. The robotic voice before the message had informed her that it was new and that it had been left just after midnight – a heartfelt telephone confession and plea for forgiveness left in the dead of night. Her expression as she listened remained impassive – his speech didn't move her, but she knew that it would move Ryo, if of course, he got to hear it. When she reached the part where Dee said he would assume the relationship was over if Ryo didn't reply, she felt a small stab of hope. He'd given her the answer. It was as simple as pressing delete.

She'd barely replaced the phone and picked up the newspaper when Ryo returned, carrying Bicky's schoolbag, which he deposited by the front door. He smiled as he came back into the kitchen.

"Don't worry about the tea," he said, grabbing his briefcase and jacket. "I'll get some at the precinct."

She returned the friendly gesture, her heart pounding with exhilaration at almost being caught. "Okay… and Ryo? Don't forget your phone," she added, seeing that he was about to leave without it.

His smile grew broader as he took it from her outstretched hand. "You'd make a great secretary."

She chuckled as he went out, only once the door was safely closed did she slump back into her seat and let the adrenaline rush overwhelm her. "Close call," she muttered, fanning herself with the newspaper.

"What was?" Bicky asked, suddenly appearing around the corner.

It was inevitable that she jumped, the boy's unexpected entrance startling her. "Shit, Bicky, you scared me then!" she grinned, trying to convey that she had nothing to hide. "I almost knocked my juice over with the paper, but I caught it just in time."

The blond boy nodded but didn't share her humour. She'd noticed his mounting coolness towards her over the last few days. She'd figured that it stemmed from their excursion to Drake's, when he'd been so confident that they'd find answers there. Sulky brat, get over yourself.

Bicky grabbed a can of soda from the refrigerator, all the while staring at the back of the girl's head. She seemed unaware of the half-suspicious, half-daggers look he was giving her. His dislike intensified as she giggled at the funnies in the newspaper. She almost seemed immune to the misery that was currently pervading the rest of the household. Dee and Ryo had been happy, healthy and in love until she showed up. Surely that wasn't just coincidence? On top of his general dissatisfaction with her continued presence in their lives was a niggling, unwavering feeling that he had overlooked something that might answer some questions about why he didn't trust her; something that he could present to Ryo to make him as suspicious as he and Cal were.

"Going to school," he muttered, giving Bright a more affectionate farewell as he grabbed his bag and headed out.

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By lunchtime Dee had decided that Ryo was not going to call. He had woken in a more optimistic mood now that he had made the first move and offered the olive branch, but as the minutes turned to hours with no word from his lover, he gradually grew more despondent. It was too late – Ryo obviously didn't want to try again. He would have to live with the knowledge that his truce had come too late, and although he wanted to ring Ryo and find out why, he was determined to cling to the vestiges of his pride by not calling as he said he would.

"Well, Mr McLain," the male psychiatrist said as he sat back in his sumptuous leather throne, tented his fingers and smiled at Dee sitting across from him in a slightly less impressive chair. "I'm satisfied that you no longer pose a threat to yourself."

In the pause Dee had to stop himself from snorting a sarcastic response. He'd quickly found himself playing the game – pretending to agree that they were helping him, telling them what they wanted to hear, and it had brought him to this: freedom. Unlike begging Ryo for another chance, it was worth the injury to his pride.

"I'd like you to attend once a week for the next few weeks, then I'm sure I'll be happy to discharge you. If you make all of those appointments, I'm confident that I'll then be able to inform your commissioner that you're fit to resume normal duties."

Dee nodded, showing he understood without running the risk of his mouth betraying him.

"Is your partner coming to pick you up?"

The psychiatrist was looking at him squarely but Dee didn't meet his gaze. "No, I'm going to stay with a friend for a while." He knew the other man would be drawing his own conclusions from that statement, but he didn't care. A fallout with his lover wasn't exactly a good enough reason to keep him committed.

After sufficient time had elapsed for Ryo to call, he'd contacted Drake who'd reassured his friend that there would always be a bed for him at his place. He'd noted a tiny hint of reluctance in Drake's voice – he knew what it was, Drake thought he should go home to Ryo. He hadn't wanted to tell him over the phone that the relationship was most probably over, but with a heavy heart as he emerged into the bright sunshine, he acknowledged that he would have to in time.

TBC…