Chapter 31 – Train Ride Conversations

Lily woke up earlier than usual the morning after the play. For a moment she had trouble trying to think of why her alarm had gone off. There weren't any essays due today that she'd only half-finished. At least she didn't think there was. As Lily reached over to pick up her wand, thereby ending the piercing, ringing noises, she suddenly remembered that school was over and she was going home today. Well, not home but to Carly's house again for the summer. Since her parents had died Hogwarts had been home to Lily.

Lily yawned as she sat down across from Carly in the Great Hall. She nodded sleepily to the group in greeting then noticed someone was missing. "Where's James this morning?" Lily asked. Carly's hand tightened on her fork and she stabbed harder at her eggs. Lily frowned slightly at this but shrugged it off. No doubt Carly and James had just had some little fight about something stupid.

"He's still up in the dorm packing his stuff," said Peter. "He said that he'd just eat on the train."

"I'm not surprised he's not finished yet," Sirius added. "James didn't come in until pretty late last night." Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Carly. She snorted and cut her bacon savagely. Remus raised his eyebrows and looked questioningly at Lily. Lily shrugged, not knowing anything herself, and glanced at Carly before starting on her own breakfast.

After the run around of last minute packing Lily and Carly headed down to Hogsmeade. They found themselves an empty compartment on the train and were soon joined by Remus, Peter and Sirius. Lily thought it strange that James was still missing from the group and decided to mention it. "So Jimmy boy is still missing in action?"

"Who knows where that bloke is," said Remus. "He wasn't in the dorm when we went up after breakfast."

"Must every conversation we have turn to James Potter?" Carly broke in as the Hogwarts Express left the station.

"Uh, Car honey, not every conversation does," replied Lily. "You think I'd even allow that? It would only help inflate his already over-sized ego."

Carly rolled her eyes and turned to stare out the window. Peter looked at Sirius and Remus. "We're going to go look for James," he said.

"Yeah he probably caught an earlier carriage to the station," added Sirius, "and so he's probably sitting in a compartment wondering where we all are."

"We'll see you two later," Remus said as the boys left the compartment.

"Bye guys," Lily replied absently as she watched Carly. When she heard the compartment door close Lily moved into the seat opposite Carly and tried to catch her eye. "Okay spill it Carly."

Carly finally looked back at Lily. "Spill what?"

"Whatever it is you're not saying. Something is up with you this morning and I want to know what it is." Carly huffed and turned her head to stare out the window once more. "Come on Carly, just tell me. I mean if you can't tell your best friend who can you tell?"

Carly sighed. "Fine. You want to know what I'm upset about? James broke up with me last night after the play."

"He did what?"

"He broke up with me."

"He didn't." Lily was incredulous. Carly just looked at her. "Well, why then? You guys were great together. What reason did he give for breaking up?"

"Li people don't always need reasons for ending a relationship. Sometimes it's just not working."

"So he didn't tell you anything except 'Let's break up, eh?'"

"Well actually that's sort of the way our conversation went."

"Just wait until I get my hands on him. That scumbag's got another thing coming." Lily stood up and began pacing imagining a hundred and one ways to hurt James.

"Lily don't."

"Don't what?"

"Just don't." Carly sent her a pleading look. "Just leave it okay?"

Lily sighed and sat down beside Carly. "Okay. If you don't want me to do or say anything then I won't." She placed her hand on Carly's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"No." She faced Lily, stricken. Lily could see tears beginning to form in her friend's eyes. "I'm hurt, angry, confused, sad, not to mention a whole heap of other things I can't name." The first tear fell from her eye and slipped down her cheek. More followed leaving tracks down Carly's cheeks.

Lily felt awful. Her best friend was hurting but she didn't know how to help. She'd never been in this sort of situation before. "Shh, sweetie don't cry. James Potter isn't worth your tears. No man is."

"I can't help it," sobbed Carly. "I loved him Lily. I love him!"

Lily was shocked. She'd had no idea Carly's feelings ran so deep. But she didn't have time to process it right then. She needed to find some way to comfort Carly. "Oh God, Carly. Come here." Lily hugged her as she let Carly cry her heart out on her shoulder.

Sirius, Remus and Peter had found James all alone in the very end compartment. James looked up from the magazine he was reading when the three young men walked in. "Hey Prongs man," Sirius grinned as he bounced into the seat beside James. "What are you doing hiding back here?"

"Good question," said Remus. "Here's another. Why didn't you come join us and the girls further up the train? You skipped breakfast as well. It's like you're trying to avoid them or something."

"It's not like I'm trying to avoid," replied James. "It's I am trying to avoid."

"Care to explain why?" Peter asked.

James rubbed his temples. "I broke up with Carly last night," he said in a low voice.

"You broke up with her?" Sirius was surprised. "Why? I mean I haven't seen you so happy or, well, sugary with a girl in a long time."

"But that's just it. I wasn't happy. Lately it's all just been for show and I couldn't take it anymore." James sighed. "Carly wasn't who I wanted to be with and I couldn't stand lying to her any more than I liked lying to myself. Even if I was only lying through actions rather than saying them out loud."

"I don't get it," said Peter. "If you don't want Carly then who do you want?"

James glanced at Peter but rather than answering the question he turned to look out the window. "Lily," Sirius answered softly for him. James spun his head around so quickly he was almost surprised that he didn't get whiplash. "It's always been Lily," Sirius continued. "Hasn't it?" James didn't reply but he didn't have to. He knew Sirius could read the answer in his eyes.

"James why did you date Carly if you liked Lily?" Remus asked.

"Because I thought I was over her! And I thought I liked Carly as more than a friend." James sighed again and closed his eyes. He could feel a headache coming on. "I'm going for a walk," he said abruptly and stood up. James left the compartment before anyone had a chance to say another word.

He had moved about half-way up the train when he spotted her leaving a compartment. James took a deep breath and kept walking. There was no hope that Carly hadn't told her about the break up. James didn't want to see her reaction to him. It would probably involve endless pain and possible beheading. Maybe she just would notice him as he walked by.

Lily quickly glanced back through the window at Carly. She had cried herself to sleep on Lily's shoulder. When she'd realised Carly was asleep she had lay her down on the seat then changed out of her robes and used them as a pillow. Lily had decided to take a quick walk through the train to check on the students as her duties as Prefect dictated. "Poor Carly," she whispered as she watched the girl sleeping peacefully. As Lily turned from the window to walk away she spotted James about to pass her. She moved across the hall to block his path. "Hello James," said Lily.

"Hey Lily," he replied nervously. "How are you today?"

"I'm feeling angry today James. Thank you so much for asking." Lily ignored what she said to Carly. She couldn't just let this lie as if nothing had happened.

James grimaced and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "So Carly told you what happened then."

"Yes she told me. I practically had to drag it out of her! You broke up with her James. How could you hurt her like that? I told you – no I warned you not to hurt her. You've no idea how much I want to inflict pain on you right now."

James flinched at the anger in her voice. He did have a bit of an idea actually. "I don't think Carly was very upset about it," he said hoping to placate Lily at least a little.

"You're such a typical man James Potter," Lily replied scathingly. "If Carly wasn't hurt then why did she just spend I'm not sure how long crying on my shoulder? She's only just fallen asleep."

James glanced at the window next to them a tad guiltily. "Look I'm sorry but we were only dating. It's not like we were in love with each other or anything."

Lily made an irritated noise. "I would so love to cause you serious pain right now. But since I told Carly I wouldn't do anything to you I can't. Be bloody thankful for that." James shuffled his feet and tried and failed to meet Lily's glare. "Carly told me she didn't want to see you until school starts again so I'll see you September first. I'll probably calm down in a few days so I'll owl you over the holidays."

James mentally let out a sigh of relief. "Sounds good to me."

"Right then. I'm going to go patrol. And don't forget. I'm currently still furious."

"That's noted. And I don't think anyone who has seen it will forget the wrath of Lily Evans. It really can be quite frightening you know."

"Good to hear. I'll talk to you soon James." Lily turned and began to move away.

"Bye Lily," James called out to her. He watched her back for a few moments before deciding to head back to his compartment to join his friends.