POOF!
Aragorn looks around him bewildered. "Where'd Gondor go?"
For in fact, he is no longer in his throne room sitting on his throne. He is now sitting on the street in front of Wal-Mart! YAY WAL-MART!
Cars honk at him and Aragorn stares confusedly at the large machines… 'cause they don't have cars in MIDDLE EARTH!
POOF!
Legolas coughs and steps out of the sparkly blue smoke. He looks around and sees Aragorn sitting in the street.
"What do you think you're doing!" Legolas cried and dragged Aragorn out of the street. "Do you WANT to get run over!"
"What happened? Where am I?" Aragorn asked as he stared wide-eyed at the large blue Wal-Mart building that loomed over him.
"TEXAS!" Legolas said grandly and threw his arms out, a humongous grin on his face.
"Texas?"
POOF!
Gimli falls out of a portal and rolls over to where Legolas and Aragorn are.
Aragorn is still sitting on the ground, but now he's on the sidewalk. People are casually walking by as if people from other worlds often go to Wal-Mart.
Gimli jumps up and brandishes his axe looking around for orcs.
Suddenly seeing Wal-Mart, and realizing he's no longer in Middle Earth, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper. He begins to walk towards the entrance and almost trips over Aragorn.
"Oh hello." he said casually.
"What is going on!" Aragorn cried out in desperation… even though it's not really a desperate situation.
"Where's everyone else?" Legolas asked Gimli, completely ignoring Aragorn.
Gimli shrugged.
POOF!
YAY! IT'S PIPPIN!
Pippin jumps out of his extremely sparkly and flashy red smoke and strikes a pose. "I have arrived!" he pauses and when nobody says or does anything he abandons his pose and looks rather dejected.
"No body loves me."
Suddenly his face brightens. "NO BODY LOVES ME! EVERYBODY HATES ME! I THINK I'LL GO EAT WOOOORRRRRRRRMMMMMSSSSS!"
After this little serenade Legolas begins to clap ecstatically. Pippin bows. Some random dude throws a flower at Pippin's feet.
Pippin picks up the flower and looks as if he's about to cry from happiness.
"WWWWAAAAHHHH!" he sobbed. "You love me! You really love me!"
POOF!
Merry falls from the sky, landing on Aragorn with a loud: "UMPH!"
Merry jumps to his feet and brushes off his clothes, which surprisingly do not look as if they came from Middle Earth.
After that Aragorn suddenly realizes he is still in his King's clothes and crown while everyone else… well…
Legolas was wearing what Aragorn thought looked like a dress… or a robe… with pink flowers on it… (It's a kimono)
Gimli had on a pair of green cameo pants and a plain black tee shirt; he was wearing a pair of black work boots.
Pippin was dressed in a pair of old looking jeans (though today, they might have been brand new) and a white tank top with a brown worn cowboy jacket. Red cowboy boots and a tan cowboy hat completed his look.
Merry was clothed in a red dress shirt underneath a black jacket and black dress pants. A black cape was draped over his shoulders and he had on big black boots.
"Thanks Aragorn; that could have been painful."
Aragorn realized then that Merry had fallen on him from some thousand feet or so and began to groan.
"What about Sam and Frodo?" Gimli asked.
"They… um… well…" Merry stammered, looking rather uncomfortable.
"Where are they!" Legolas demanded.
"Um… Tokyo." Merry replied meekly.
"TOKYO!" Legolas exploded.
Everyone cowered as bits and pieces of Legolas showered over them.
After Legolas had pulled himself together he took several deep breathes. "How did they end up in TOKYO!"
Merry shrugged, and threw his hands up in the air. "I have no idea. Nobody knows how it happened."
"NOOOOBODY KNOOOOOOOOWS THE TROUBLES I'VE SEEEEEEN! NOOOOBODY KNOOOOOOOOWS THE PAIN!" Pippin cried as he skipped around the others.
Gimli grabbed Pippin's cowboy hat and ran away with it. Pippin gave chase and began to scream at Gimli.
Legolas began to fume silently while Aragorn put his head in his hands. Merry began running around after Pippin and Gimli and kept turning around to watch his cape flow in the wind!
Gimli threw the hat back at Pippin who caught it and put it on his head. Pulling the crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket once more he began to walk towards Wal-Mart.
"Where are you going?" Merry and Pippin asked in unison.
"I have to pick up a few things."
"NO! WE MUST GO AND RESCUE FRODO AND SAM!" Legolas cried.
"After I pick up a few things." Gimli said.
"Who said they even need rescuing?" Pippin asked.
"They're in TOKYO!"
"Did you say Tokyo?" a girl asked, she had long black hair and purple eyes.
"Yes!" Legolas cried. "Our friends need rescuing!"
"How do you know?" Merry asked again.
"I just do!"
"I can get you to Tokyo." the girl said.
"What is you name?" Legolas asked.
"Christine." Christine answered.
"Christine! Christine! Don't think, that I don't care! But every---" Pippin trailed off when Legolas shot him a "look" and Christine began to laugh.
"How can you get us there?" Legolas asked.
"With my magical car! Bitty Bitty Chang Chang!" Christine exclaimed.
"First!" Gimli cried and waved his shopping list in the air. "We have to pick up a few things."
Everyone followed Gimli into Wal-Mart.
"First, salted pork." Gimli led them to the meat section and grabbed a HUGE hunk of salted pork. "Next, towels!"
As Gimli grabbed some towels Legolas happened to look in one of the mirrors on sale.
"OH MY GOSH!" he cried out.
"WHAT!" everyone asked.
Legolas put his hands on his head. "My hair looks HORRIBLE! A HAIRBRUSH! I NEED A BRUSH!" he cried.
A random dude (the same who threw the flower at Pippin; whom, by the way, stuck the flower in the brim of his cowboy hat) threw a lime green hairbrush at Legolas.
Legolas snatched up the brush and began to vigorously run it through his hair.
Everyone waited impatiently for Legolas to be done, but after three solid minutes of constant brushing they turned and walked away.
"We'll be back for you." Christine called; Legolas didn't hear her.
"Do we have to?" Merry asked and Christine nodded. Merry pouted.
They headed towards the office supplies section for glue. There they were sidetracked by Pippin who tried to play with one of the Super Bouncy Balls…
"STOP THAT BALL!" Pippin screamed and skidded into a toilet paper display, knocking the whole thing over.
Toilet paper went everywhere; Pippin scrambled to his feet and continued chasing the bouncy ball.
Other shoppers either laughed or screamed at Pippin, but nobody made a move to stop, or even to attempt to stop, the bouncy ball.
The ball continued bouncing down the aisle, knocking into a display of gardening supplies, spilling fertilizer everywhere.
Pippin tried to stop but his boots slid on the freshly cleaned floor and he tripped over the fertilizer and fell face first into it.
The bouncy ball slowed to a roll and stopped by a tire display.
Pippin rose from the fertilizer and wiped it off his face and clothes. He glared at the ball and slowly walked towards it, it remained unmoving, as if taunting Pippin.
When he was a few feet from the ball he lunged for it, and grabbed it as if he thought it would run away again. But of course it didn't, it was, of course, only just a ball.
Pippin gripped tightly to the ball as he hurried back to where he found it. Carefully placing it back on the shelf he walked away, whistling innocently.
Everyone stared at him as he walked past, but Pippin was completely oblivious to the stares.
"Ready?" he asked the others and they nodded.
They hurried back to where they had left Legolas; he was still brushing his hair.
"Legolas!" Aragorn cried and grabbed the brush from his hand.
"HEY!" Legolas screamed and tried to grab the brush but Aragorn held it out of his reach.
"You talked!" Gimli cried to Aragorn, who had been silent 'till then.
"We're done shopping." Merry informed him.
"ONWARD TO TOKYO!" Legolas cried, completely forgetting the hairbrush.
The group marched out of Wal-Mart and Christine led them to her car.
It was a hot pink Volkswagen beetle convertible. The others looked at it doubtfully.
"You expect me to sit in that?" Aragorn asked, frightened at the thought of sitting in ANY car.
"Yes." Christine said and climbed into the driver's seat.
Legolas scrambled into the passenger seat and left the other four to squeeze into the back.
Christine started the car and Aragorn gave a yelp of surprise. She glanced back at him and he blushed.
"Not used to…"
"Cars." Gimli whispered to him.
"Cars," Aragorn finished.
Christine pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main street. She got onto the highway for about twenty minutes or so then turned onto a dark, abandoned street.
"Here we go." she said and pressed a large red button over the radio, the car rumbled and began to tilt upward.
"What's going on?" Aragorn asked, gripping tightly to the side of the car.
Suddenly the car shot straight into the air. Everyone save Christine screamed. The car righted itself and began to fly in the direction of Tokyo.
Christine inserted the coordinates of Tokyo and leaned back in her seat. "We'll be there in a couple of hours."
Five minutes later…
"I'm bored." Legolas complained.
"I'll sing!" Pippin cried and before anyone could stop him began. "Here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama, fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama llama, duck! Llama llama, cheesecake llama, tablet, brick, potato, llama, llama llama mushroom, llama llama llama duck. I was once a tree house! I lived in a cake! But I never saw the way! The orange slayed the rake! I was only three years dead, but it told a tale. And now listen little child, to the safety rail! Did you ever see a llama, kiss a llama, on the llama's llama. Half a llama, twice a llama, not a llama, farmer llama, llama in a car, alarm a llama. Llama llama duck! Is that how it's told now! Is it all so old! Is it made of lemon juice! Doorknob! Ankle! Cold! Now my song is getting thin! I've run out of luck! Time fore me to retire now and become a duck!"
After Pippin finished singing, silence.
"That was… um… brilliant." Christine said after an awkward moment's pause.
"Thank you." Pippin said.
"This is going to be a long trip."
"What to hear another song! I'm a nut! Cluck cluck! In a rut! Cluck cluck! I'm CRAZZZZZZZZZY! ..,."