Author's Notes: Hi everybody! Sorry this chapter took a while, I went away for a week (which was boring and internet-deprived) and when I finally came back my dad decided he'd screw around with my computer, making it 'better' (which it kinda is) but it took a while so yeah! Anyways, I want to say a big thanks to AngelKairi for reviewing! XD And everyone else of course, just AK's very special lol. -Anyone who likes SxK pairings (which you should if you're reading this) go read 'Wounds too Deep to Heal' by AngelKairi, because it's really REALLY good and it desperately NEEDS reviews! And read her other stories too! You can have a big extra-special block of chocolate from me if you r&r her stories! (Yes, I am giving out chocolate this time to those who review, only becos I'm too lazy too think up something more inventive, and I'm eating some right now and it's GOOOOOOOD…)
I finished the main game of KH:CoM! Yay! I haven't quite done Reverse/Rebirth yet, but I think it's not too hard at the moment to insert that plotline into the story here, so, it will from now on, be set after Chain of Memories, and I think I know what happened at the end of Riku's story so that will…eh…have happened as well. :) It'll only be vaguely connected; as everyone reading this knows, this story is not about plotline, it is about romance, and that's all there is to it! lol
Onto another stupid topic about me: I finished the 6th Harry Potter book a few days ago, and I still can't BELIEVE they killed who they killed! Bah! I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't finished yet, but I'll say it was a very important character who was not supposed to die until the last book! Or at least I think so. Pssshh. This paragraph was pointless. Pssshh.
Yep, so with that done, on with the story; reviewer replies r after the chappie. As a side note; during this chapter and the last one and such, Donald and Goofy are still on the island, staying at Sora's house. Also, I'm sorry about that last chapter, it was kinda rushed and dodgy, but I hope this one will be better, it was originally gonna be really short, but I came up with this bit about Sora reminiscing …which got extraordinarily extended…so it got really really long; it's more than twice the size of the last chapter! XD it's just a filler chapter until chapter 5 anyways, which is going to be extreme fluffiness! happy face Thank God, cos it nearly killed me to put in all that RxK-ness last chapter. (sweatdrop) Ahhhmmm… and there's a bit in this chapter that I got really miserable writing out, not because of RxK-ness but…well, you'll see. (sniffs) And if you thought the last chapter was a cliffie, just wait til the end of this chapter…heh heh laughs evilly But I'll say no more here…
Sorry, that was a long author's note. Here, have some chips.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my supposed moose (which my sister keeps insisting that I have).
Chapter 4; "Remorseful Memories"
Sora's POV, mostly.
Sora knocked on Riku's front door.
No answer.
Sora frowned. He could see lights on through the front window and could not imagine where Riku had gone at this time of the morning. He had only gotten back yesterday…
The door was not locked, so he pushed it open slightly and listened. He heard the distant scraping of chairs against the floor, and incoherent voices coming from a room down the hall; and recognized the loud, cheerful voice as Kairi's. Intrigued and curious, he crept down the hallway, careful not to step too loudly. He peeked his head around the corner into the kitchen, just in time to see Riku pull Kairi into a loving embrace.
'Huh…?'
Sora stood in the doorway, shocked. He vaguely heard Riku whisper something, but only Kairi heard the words, and nodded and smiled in response.
Riku and …Kairi…? Together? But… he was the one who had…fought and…
No.
A calm voice inside his head interrupted his stuttering train of thought.
Riku went through all that too. He had to face the darkness in his heart, and fight it. He fought through a lot, maybe more than you did… more than you ever gave him credit for…Perhaps he deserves her more than you…
Sora's fists clenched at his sides, but he knew the voice was right. He had had Donald and Goofy to journey with, whilst Riku had had no one except the occasional appearance of King Mickey. Furthermore, Sora had never been possessed, never had to deal with a darkness controlling him…never had to fight that darkness…
Lost in his jealous thoughts of remorse, Sora didn't catch the split-second when Kairi's eyes flickered to him, and her jaw dropped in horror.
Sora turned away in disgust, and quickly and silently crept back down the hall and out the door, hurt and jealousy building inside his so-called 'heart of light'.
'What do I do? They won't care about me anymore…where do I go?'
XxxxXxxxX
Kairi saw Sora vanish from the doorway as quickly as he'd appeared, and she pulled away from Riku, realizing the mess she was in. If Sora hadn't heard the actual conversation, (and from the look on his face, she guessed he hadn't) then the situation would have looked very fishy indeed. He was sure to think they had hooked up or something. Kairi pushed her hair out of her face in frustration, and started towards the door.
"Kairi, where're you…wha…?"
Kairi stopped, and turned back to face Riku. She could tell from his confuzzled face that he had no idea that Sora had just witnessed their little reunion scene of doom. (doom… heh)
She gave him a small smile of annoyance. "I'm sorry Riku, but I gotta catch him and sort it out before he does something stupid, you know what he's like," she said, then grinned. "Then again, maybe he's too lazy to care."
She highly doubted this, but enjoyed seeing the confused look sent her way that clearly indicated Riku had no idea what she was on about. She then quickly ran off and out the door onto the street without another word.
XxxxXxxxX
Finding Sora turned out to be easier said than done. He seemed to have vanished from the island as quickly as he had vanished from the kitchen doorway…wait, the island! Kairi mentally kicked herself for being so stupid. Of course, he must have gone over to the other island, the one where they used to play, and where he had landed last night. She had been going there herself every day for the past year, how could she have forgotten? He too had often escaped there, when they were little; any day there was work to be done, Sora would mysteriously disappear and be found, hours later, asleep on the beach of the kids' island.
Still cursing herself, Kairi ran to the docks and hopped in her small boat, untied it and began rowing as fast as she could towards the distant patch of land. For, as Kairi thought weakly, her stomach turning over, the Gummi ship still lay on that stretch of sand.
Did Sora know how to fly it? He certainly hadn't during her brief time with them on the ship, after the fiasco of Hollow Bastion, although he complained a lot about how much better and faster he could have flown it. Had he learnt to pilot it during the last year? She couldn't know, and couldn't risk it. She felt sure he wouldn't leave without Donald and Goofy, but then… Sora did strange things when he was hurt.
XxxxXxxxX
Sora sat on the hard ground of the secret place, much like Kairi had only the day before.
'Kairi…she never… after everything… It was Riku…It's always Riku….' He thought angrily to himself, 'she loves Riku…'
He slammed his fist down on the dirt floor. He couldn't believe he had come back to her for this. After the whole darkness disaster that had made him realise just how deeply he cared for her, how much he wanted to protect her, to keep her safe, and now…
Lost in thought, he absentmindedly pulled a small keychain out of his pocket. It was a lucky charm, incredibly special to him, that he had looked at every day in the past year. Sora looked down at it and smiled sadly. It had been such a cliched scene. (lol)
'Had she been acting out that sincerity? Only been…' he swallowed, 'toying with him?'
But no matter how much resentment and rejection he felt towards Kairi now, he still could not imagine her doing something like that. She wasn't that kind of person…or was she? Sora sighed. He didn't know what to think anymore.
Yet, he had no trouble understanding why she had picked Riku instead of him; Riku was tall, handsome, well-built, and mature for his age - everything Sora was not. Sora had never really cared much before, they were all different, but they were together, so what did it matter? Yet he felt it mattered a great deal now. Kairi had chosen Riku, after all that, all the time she and him had spent together, watching the sunset before they rowed back home, her half-joking accusations when she found him asleep on the beach, avoiding work… even as little kids, hadn't they spent that day drawing each other on the rock in here?
'Come to think of it…'
What had she thought, when she saw his little addition? Had she even seen it? What had she done?
Sora glanced over at the wall on his left, and felt his stomach jolt.
Last time he had seen it, more than a year ago, it had had both their faces scratched on the wall, as it had been for years, but he had added something that day.
"If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined…they'll remain a part of each other's lives… no matter what…"
That had been what he'd drawn. An arm, -his arm- reaching from him to Kairi, giving her that fruit, the paopu fruit of legend. As far as he knew, it was a myth, made up by someone like Selphie, but it was the meaning that counted. The drawing showed clearly his feelings for her, for wanting to; 'remain a part of her life, no matter what' had to count for something.
She didn't feel the same…
But the reason his stomach had jolted was not because it had been scribbled out, or simply ignored, as he had expected, it was because there was another arm, reaching out from Kairi, holding an identical star-shaped paopu fruit to him.
He gaped at the drawing for a moment, hope rising in him that she just might feel the same way… but then… what was she doing hanging out with Riku like that? The smile on her face as Riku had held her in his arms… it could only be because she was happy about him holding her… Kairi knew very well the legend of the Paopu fruit; that it was only for the one person you really cared for… and she wasn't one to fool around with legends like this one.
But then…he thought as he looked back at the drawing etched into the stone. His sketch of her hadn't exactly been very good; it could have looked like he was trying to draw Selphie… But she wouldn't have drawn that arm, would she? She hardly ever came in here - she always said it wasn't stable, and that the enormous rocks could come crashing down at any moment. And he couldn't remember Selphie ever being praised for her drawing ability… that was Kairi… and Selphie had acted normal when he'd seen her last, hadn't she? Slightly over-excited, maybe, but…
And even if Kairi had drawn it, what if she'd changed her mind when he had come back? Maybe she had decided that Riku's change of personality, maturity level, was much more fanciful than his own childish attitude that he had always shown to her?
He felt like he was screwing up his brain trying to work it out, so he looked down at the keychain again.
"It's my lucky charm!"
The stupid charm. It had never brought him any good luck, anyways. Heartless were still popping up wherever he went…Was it really useful at all? Did it even mean anything anymore? Maybe he should throw it away…
Sora made a movement to throw it across the cave room, but his fingers wouldn't let go. It was as though a part of him had stuck them together with superglue. A part of him that didn't want to hurt Kairi.
Sora sighed.
He had tried his best to keep the fragile object intact over the dragging year; he knew it meant a lot to Kairi, and it had been the symbol of their friendship… but why, why had he cared so much to take it out almost every night in the last year, while he was alone, and rub it clean? Why had he spent every night thinking about her, dreaming about her? Why had he constantly insisted that they find the Destiny Islands, before doing anything else? Why, even when they met King Mickey and Riku in Twilight Town, had Sora only said a brief greeting to them, and then insisted they press on? And, above all, why did he feel so jealous of Riku?
'Because you love her…' he told himself angrily.
He started. Running footsteps were echoing down the passageway. A moment later, Kairi appeared in the doorway, puffing slightly from rowing and sprinting up the beach. She stopped and sighed with relief, seeing him on the ground, back against a rock. He saw by her expression, that she knew he knew her secret.
"Sora…I'm sorry…" she panted, gasping for breath.
He glared at her and stood up, walking towards the entrance. "So… you and Riku, huh?" He said in false cheeriness, making it sound like everyday gossip. But Kairi saw his fists clench tightly.
"Sora! It's not like that, he was just-"
"By the way," He said, cutting her off and holding out his hand, "You can have this back."
Her lucky charm. It looked good as new, sitting in his glove-clad palm. But… hadn't he been to hundreds of worlds across the galaxy? Surely it would have gotten dirty and battered, being through all that…?
He really had taken care of it.
Kairi slowly took the keychain, remembering the day she had given it to him. Right after they had returned from Hollow Bastion, right after she had regained her heart…when they had shared that short embrace…
"I looked everywhere for you, but you were with me all along."
"It's my lucky charm, be sure to bring it back to me!"
Kairi smiled reminiscently as she remembered back in that secret cave. The idea had just popped into her head, that day in the secret waterway - but what a strange way to get him to promise to come back! She'd known at the time he would never break that promise.
(WARNING: Very sad scene coming up, I myself almost cried while writing it, so be prepared)
She looked up at him, still smiling. Sora stiffened and glared at her, making her smile vanish instantly and she stared at him in surprise. She had never failed to make him smile back at her before.
It was then that Sora smiled, but a sharp, cruel mockery of the smile that had always made her laugh. His eyes were still giving her the death glare, full of hate and malice. It was sarcastic… seductive even… and it made the smile look rather like he was baring his teeth at her, like a werewolf about to sink its teeth into its prey. It was –she could only describe it as– evil.
Kairi stared, horrified, at this hateful face for several long moments. She felt weak against it; it had caught her completely by sick surprise. Gone were all the signs of his trademark smile that she loved; the smiling, mischievous blue eyes, the innocent grin… all of it… transformed into this cruel imitation… and Kairi felt her heart shatter.
Sora smirked, and started back towards the tunnel.
Kairi stood there for a moment, unaware he had left, still staring wide-eyed with shock at the spot his head had been, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Sora trod on a stick halfway to the entrance, making a loud snapping noise which woke Kairi from her reverie. She blinked, suddenly realized Sora gone, whipped around and stumbled after him, grabbing his wrist tightly.
Sora tried to pull away, but she would not let go.
"Sora…" she whispered, finding her throat had tightened and hardly able to form those two painful syllables.
He brought himself to look around at her. He saw her red eyes, pleading, shining with tears and more still running down her pale cheeks. Her lips were slightly parted, giving way to the quiet, shuddering sobs escaping them; her shaking fingers were clutched tightly over his wrist; and Sora felt a cold wave of guilt wash over him.
He had hurt her much, much more than he had meant to, not thinking for a moment that she would react at all in this way. Sora had never quite realized how much his cheesy grin meant to Kairi. He thought merely that she found it amusing, and had therefore kept it for so long that he did not remember its origin, just that he smiled for her. He already was deeply regretting that smirk of hate, deeply regretting hurting her so badly, and Kairi thought she saw a glimmer of remorse flash through his eyes.
They continued staring at each other for a moment; cobalt and indigo orbs locked together, neither knowing what to say. Tears were still leaking from Kairi's eyes, her bottom lip was trembling, and her uneven sobs were not showing any sign of letting up. It was as though he really had ripped out her heart.
Sora swallowed, yanked his arm from her grasp and trudged away on the sand, shivering slightly. Although shaken, he had not forgotten what he'd seen at Riku's place.
"Sora, pl-please!" Kairi choked through her tears. He ignored her completely.
She let out a small squeak of exasperated hopelessness, and sank slowly to the floor, watching Sora's feet retreating ever so slowly up the passageway. She stared after him desperately, and suddenly the words Kairi had been longing to say ever since Sora had returned, burst from her mouth before she could stop them.
"Sora! I don't love Riku! I love you!"
XxxxXxxxX
A/N: HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! I shall kill you with suspense! Yay! Was that a cliffhanger or was that a cliffhanger? The next chappie is gonna rock! Omg that smirking scene was so sad! I felt miserable for the rest of the day! T-T (sniffs) I'm not sure whether it's really as bad as it seemed at the time though… hmm. Haha, I used the word remorse three times in one chapter. o And if you think the whole 'Sora thinking' scene was too long and boring, feel free to say so in ur review, I wasn't sure. Like I said, review and I'll give you chocolate! (unless you flame) Read AngelKairi's stories and I'll give you extra chocolate! (again, unless you flame; don't you dare flame her stories, or I'll come after you with a knife!) I have NO idea when the next chappie will be up, school just went back and i won't be visible under the mountains of work... so i'll try my best :) Cya next time! PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks everyone!
misshotness: I would never make it an RxK! You know I hate that pairing. Sorry, I'm trying to put them up quicker, but every time I read over them, I see heaps of stuff I'm not happy with so I spend another 4 days editing it! lol. Wish I was like you, putting up a chappie every three days…even one a week would be good 4 me…:( (glares jealously) oh well, here's ya cookie, ur story is coming along really well by the way! (hands cookie)
Zarya: yeah, Riku is a weirdo! Yes, I couldn't access computers where I was, it's a hard life. jk. Riku wasn't too OOC? (sighs in relief) THANKYOU! I think Sora shows his jealously quite a lot in the game (at least when you've played it as many times as I have) and it's really cute sometimes. :)
Yes, a chocolate chip cookie! (happy face) (gives cookie)
(looks over review) it wasn't that pointless…really… PS You will NEVER get to see under my bed. NEVER!
thesrazrbladekisses: lol thanks, (hands cookie) the dreaded cliffies! you're gonna kill me with this one aren't you? Uh oh…
cHErrY-dREaMeR: haha, good job, it's an insane fight… (shakes head) I know, the ending's so sad! When he lets go of her hand… (cries) I can't wait for KH2! Don't worry, I'm addicted too! (shifty look) yum, cookies… (hides stash of cookies) oh fine. (hands cookie dejectedly)
AngelKairi: Haha, not much to say, again thanks SO much for reviewing, I almost exploded when I saw a review from you! lol. Hoped you liked the update! Yea, you can have a big cookie, and the plushie and cheesecake as well just cos you're AWESOME! (hands lots of stuff) Yeah, jealously and clichés rock! I went to Queensland (beaches…yay.) but it was pretty boring. Hope yours was better! Glad u liked my vid! Thanks so much!
carbuncle x3: ha, you love food don't you? XD Me too! Mmm…food…Here you go! (throws cookie and carbuncle runs after it like an energetic puppy) lol oh yes and if I read ur profile correctly I believe it is ur birthday soon so HAPPY BIRTHDAY for then and consider this chappie as an early birthday present.:) Hope you liked it!
Casey: hahaha, more cliffies! (villainous evil laugh) (coughs) yes, I know RxK is scary, it's not right - what about poor little Sora! (teary eyes) oops, sorry. XD Well, my dance is kind of hard to describe… kinda just a silent jig around my room (silent becos my family already thinks I am insane enough as it is) with a whole lot o jumping. XD 'yay for double chocolate cookies'! (giggles) (hands double chocolate cookie) thanks for reviewing!
no name: haha, love the name…lol. Thanks for the review! Enjoy your cookie! (gives cookie)
MegaLaManiacOfTheNorth: wow that's a long name. XD yea, 'update now' is two words…sadly. Oh well, it sounded cool anyways. o.O glad u liked this! (gives away very last cookie) (I only just had enough)