Author's note – Okay, after this chapter there's just the epilogue left. Hope you enjoy the chapter, even without the lemon. As usual, you can find the full, un-cut version at other fanfiction sites and, also as usual, reviews are ALWAYS appreciated!

Much love - Swordy

Somewhere in Between

Chapter 25 – A Life Less Ordinary

The two teens exited, leaving Dee and Drake alone. The latter sank into the visitor's chair and loosened his tie with one quick tug as he studied his friend. "How's the hand?"

Dee looked down at it bandaged tightly across his chest to limit its movement. "Mending hopefully, but I just count myself lucky. Ryo's okay, I'm okay… hey, what did you do with Bright?"

"I took him back to my place. He's kinda restless without you but I've been bribing him with bones."

Dee smiled, something he always did when he thought of his canine companion. "How come you brought him to the apartment with you?"

"That's the weird thing," Drake replied, scratching his head. "I didn't bring him. Somehow he got out of the apartment after we left. A uniformed from the Twenty Seventh brought him in his car. He'd seen Bright on Fourth and recognised him as yours." The detective grinned. "I guess his odd eyes serve some purpose, even if it's just easy identification. Anyway, he figured he'd just escaped and thought he'd bring him home for you. He was on your floor, heading for your apartment when we showed up. We told him to take Bright back down, but the poor cop couldn't keep hold of him. Bright charged on ahead, and since the door was open he went straight in. And well, you know the rest."

Dee nodded solemnly. Everything had happened so fast, but he knew with all certainty that Laura had intended to kill him. "He saved my life."

Drake was quick to agree. "You know, I'll never call dogs dumb again."

His companion smiled. "Ain't nothing dumb about my little guy. Me and Ryo owe him big time. And you, buddy. I really appreciate everything you've done for us."

Drake waved a hand, dismissing his friend's high praise. "Just doing the job. Mazowski and Delaney have taken charge and naturally you're off the hook in their attempted murder case. They stopped by while you were in surgery and took away the recording equipment you were wearing. Delaney called a short while back. They got everything she said, nice and clear, and there are signs that Kelly Capland may be on the mend so hopefully she'll be able to confirm the identity of her attacker. All our breaks came at once, huh?"

"No shit. I just can't help wondering why the hell she did everything she did. I know she had Erotomania or whatever it's called, but why'd she develop it, huh? Did something happen to her when she was a kid?"

Drake shrugged. "Beats me, but our new friends from the Fourteenth said they'll let us know if they come up with anything. They're gonna speak to that doctor again, see if he knows any more. I know it doesn't change things…"

"But it can help us understand about her motivations," Dee finished for him, barely reaching the end of the sentence before he yawned. Drake saw it and pulled himself up out of the chair.

"Listen, buddy, you should get some rest. I'll go check in on Ryo before I head back to the station. Don't worry about Bright or the kid. Cal's aunt has said they can both stay with her until you get straight. I'd have put them up but I figured they'd be better with her, since I'll be singled-handedly keeping the department afloat while you lounge about in here." He winked as he headed to the door. "Later, Dee."

"Thanks, Drake," Dee replied, shuffling down the bed into a lying position, knowing he could rest with everything taken care of. "I'll see you tomorrow."

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Ryo was duly discharged the following morning and, after a fairly heated discussion with the medical staff, Dee was reluctantly allowed to leave several hours later. Drake picked him up, informing him that Ryo had gone to stay at Ted's while their apartment was still a crime scene. The detective steering the car was more than a little surprised when Dee asked if they could go to his place, rather than join Ryo at Ted's.

"What's up? I thought you and Ryo were okay?" He chanced a glance across at his passenger in time to see the other man smile.

"Yeah, we're cool. He came to see me this morning before he left the hospital and we talked about what we'd planned, you know, before everything went crazy. Obviously our apartment's out of bounds, but we still wanted to get together tonight."

"You can use my place," Drake offered. "I'm working the last shift tonight so you can have plenty of time alone."

"No, it's okay. We figured if we went to a restaurant then neither of us would have to worry about cooking. Plus we decided we'd go to that Vietnamese restaurant – you know, the one where we had our first proper date. We figured we'd play it kinda like we just met, be like strangers on that first date again, you know?"

Drake nodded, although he looked concerned. "You sure that's a good idea – the date I mean? You both just got out of hospital, and even though the Commish managed to keep the media from getting hold of what happened, I still think you should both be taking it easy."

Dee shook his head emphatically. "I'm fine and Ryo's promised me that he feels well enough to go, so we're going. We've got a lot of shit to deal with, but this time we're dealing with it together. I made the mistake before, of shutting Ryo out and trying to deal with things on my own and look what happened – it gave some psycho the opportunity to get between us." He glanced at his friend, his expression suddenly angry. "Never again, Drake."

"I hear you, buddy," the other detective replied, knowing any further argument was pointless. "Well I wish you all the best for this evening."

"Thanks. Can I just ask one favour?"

"Sure."

"Can we call at our apartment first? I need to pick something up for tonight."

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Ryo almost felt like laughing out loud. Nerves made him like that, and, sitting alone in the restaurant, he was as nervous as he could remember being in a long time. He knew it was ridiculous to feel like that – he was meeting Dee, the man whom he'd shared his heart and home with for the last few years. Sipping the glass of water the waiter had brought, Ryo felt an electric frisson run through his body. He wanted, no, yearned to see Dee, to be with him and experience that strong sense of pride that the man he would be dining with was his. It seemed incredible that not that long ago he had been contemplating a future without Dee, but those thoughts were for another night. Tonight was about reconciliation, not recriminations.

Ryo had a sudden pang of self-consciousness as he looked down to check his appearance. He was dressed in the pale grey suit he had bought for their wedding and, although his attire didn't look out of place in the smart restaurant, its special significance made Ryo slightly anxious. Would Dee think it was too much? Ryo fingered the ocean blue silk tie that matched his shirt exactly. It was too late now – Dee was due any minute.

He glanced around at his dining companions and contemplated their circumstances. Were they here on first dates? Were they here with someone they loved? A change of direction brought the maitre'd into his line of sight. He was talking to a smartly dressed man whose identity caused Ryo to smile. As if they knew they were being watched, the two turned and the head waiter pointed in his direction. Dee made eye contact and waved before thanking the waiter and making his way across the restaurant. In seconds they were face to face. Dee smiled.

"You wore…"

"Your suit," Ryo finished, studying his husband in the dark grey suit and black shirt and tie that he had worn for their nuptials. The two men laughed. They had both testified on previous occasions to friends and family that they often seemed to have the same thoughts and ideas and it was encouraging to see that nothing had changed.

"Sorry I'm a little late."

"You're not – I was early." Ryo found himself blushing slightly as he watched Dee sit down opposite him. The waiter came over and took Dee's drink order, leaving them with menus. They made easy conversation about the food as they chose their meals, which they ordered when the waiter returned with their drinks.

"So," Ryo said when they were alone again, "what made you wear your suit?"

Dee studied his attire for a second before he answered. "I don't know. It just seemed right." He raised his left hand to eye level. "I even got black bandages to go with it."

Ryo smiled. "It's a nice touch. How's your hand?"

"I dunno. It's all strapped up to keep everything in place while it heals. Notice I didn't order the steak." He grinned at his partner. "I didn't think you'd wanna spend all night cutting up my food for me."

Ryo chuckled, but there was love in his eyes. "I'd have done it gladly, Dee."

"Okay, your turn. Why did you wear your suit?"

Ryo ruffled his dark blond hair as he contemplated the question. Dee's response had pretty much summed it up – it had just felt right. "Well, tonight is special and I just figured I needed to wear something to match the occasion. I just couldn't think of anything more appropriate than the suit I made my vows in."

The waiter returned to serve their starters, forcing a brief pause in the conversation. When he'd gone, Dee responded.

"That was a great day, wasn't it? I was totally nervous but it was worth it. I can't believe it's almost been twelve months."

"Me either." Ryo frowned thoughtfully, before a sad smile broke onto his lips. "It's not quite been the twelve months I imagined."

Dee nodded, his wine glass poised at his lips. "Agreed. Maybe we should propose a toast to our second year of marriage. May it be more successful than the first."

They clinked glasses, Dee noting the faraway look in his husband's eyes. "Is something the matter, Ryo?"

The blond shook his head and smiled, genuinely this time. "For so long I've believed that you didn't want to be with me, didn't love me even. To hear you talking about our marriage, about us, well, I can't tell you how happy it makes me."

He looked away, his cheeks colouring at the admission, but Dee's hand on top of his brought his gaze back to his lover.

"Things have been rough, Ryo, but I've never stopped loving you, even if you heard things to the contrary. Drake said something a while back, about how it was like Chinese Whispers and it struck a chord, you know? I doubt anything she said about either one of us was actually the truth." He could sense his anger mounting and quickly pushed it aside, not wanting to let it spoil the evening. He smiled at his lover. "You remember way back when, when I said I'd never lose you to another man? Well I guess I should have added 'woman' to that list too. I'm just thankful that the price we paid wasn't heavier. Forever we said, remember?"

Ryo smiled and nodded. "Forever."

"And I know that we've got lotta stuff to talk about… about the things that Stacey used to get between us" – he looked at Ryo to check they were on the same wavelength – "we gotta work through that stuff so that we don't make the same mistakes again."

Ryo nodded again, although this time he didn't respond, instead biting his lower lip to keep his emotions in check. Although Stacey had ultimately caused most of the damage to their relationship, there were things that had come between them – things that had damaged the trust they had for each other - that she hadn't been responsible for. When he looked up again, Dee offered him a broad, loving smile.

"Hey, come on. We're not gonna dwell on that tonight, right? This is about us – and the future. For tonight, let's just enjoy being together, okay?"

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After the meal Dee suggested a walk to the Brooklyn Bridge where they could talk amidst the twinkling lights of the city that they both loved. The breeze ruffled their hair as they chatted with the ease of lovers and friends. The reminisced on good times, happy times, making plans to have more of them now that they had a future again. As the evening grew later, and colder, the two reluctantly made to leave.

"Coffee?" Dee enquired, after agreeing that Drake's place was nearer.

Ryo smiled, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Why not? As first dates go this has been very pleasant. Coffee would be perfect."

Dee laughed. "Easy tiger, you haven't tasted it yet. Drake buys weird shit. Hell, it has less taste than Britney Spears."

The blond detective rolled his eyes as they walked along shoulder to shoulder. "Maybe I spoke too soon."

"What d'you mean?"

"Well, the meal was great, the late night stroll lovely but, well, being offered substandard coffee makes me think you're not quite as keen as I thought you were."

Dee feigned innocent indignation as he stepped in front of his lover, stopping him in his tracks. "You sure know how to wound a guy."

"Awwwwww," Ryo replied, reaching up and catching hold of Dee's lapels. "I'm sorry, but if I'm honest, it wasn't really the coffee I was interested in."

Dee chuckled. "What happened to being circumspect, taking it slowly, huh?"

"You're right," Ryo said, sobering suddenly.

"Hey, I was kidding!"

"No, even though you didn't mean it, you're right. What would Dr. Bailey say if you busted your hand again huh?"

"But my right hand's okay," Dee replied, grinning mischievously and flexing the appendage as proof. "And this, as you know, is my Olympic standard hand."

Ryo opened his mouth, but Dee spoke first. "It's okay, baby. I can take the hint." He leaned in and kissed Ryo gently on the forehead. "Just being with you like this is more than enough."

They reached Drake's place and let themselves in, Ryo insisting he be the one to make them some drinks. Dee wandered into the kitchen after him and leaned on the counter while Ryo moved around making tea. He seemed quiet and Dee wondered whether he had spoken out of turn.

"Ryo? Ryo?" On his second attempt the blond turned. "Is everything okay?"

Ryo nodded and gave him a quick smile. "Why don't you go and sit down and I'll bring the drinks through."

"Okay," Dee replied, sounding not at all sure. His eyes stayed on Ryo until he had left the room. Once his lover had gone, Ryo returned to making the tea, his concentration lasting only a split second before he let the spoon drop into the cup, suddenly forgotten.

Dee looked up in surprise when Ryo rushed into the room without the promised beverages. "Ryo…?"

"I'm sorry, Dee. I can't take it anymore." He marched over to where Dee was sitting and flung his arms around him. "I need to be with you, Dee," he murmured into the thick black hair that he gripped tightly with one hand. He kissed his lover's neck, rapturously inhaling the other man's scent.

"But…" Dee began, taken aback.

"Fuck circumspect," Ryo cut in, his impatience making Dee laugh out loud in surprise. His mirth was quickly smothered by Ryo's urgent kisses and he had no hesitation but to respond in kind. He'd take Ryo whatever his mood, but this Ryo was like the star prize in a contest. His actions were desperate, frenetic, his desire obvious as they fell onto the couch together. Between kisses they began to remove each other's clothing, but it was far from the sexy shedding of cloth seen in the movies – Dee's bandaged hand meant that his jacket and shirt did not come off easily and the two men ended up falling about laughing. When their laughter died away they resumed their intimacy, although at a slower pace than Ryo had previously set. That suited them both – and they explored each other's bodies like it was new territory. Fingers traced skin as their breathing filled the silence. Kisses were sweet as their lips took turns to graze each other's flesh. Dee smiled as his lover's dark eyes met his, and he reached up with his one good hand to push some stray strands of hair off Ryo's face. This was how it should be and Dee realised that, for the first time in months, he felt content. At last he was home.

"Make love to me, Dee."

The dark haired man grinned. "How could I refuse? Baby, nothing would give me greater pleasure – literally!"

"Then I better go find us something to grease the wheels, so to speak," Ryo chuckled as he extricated himself from the couch, dressed only in his boxers and his unbuttoned shirt. He returned from the bathroom several minutes later carrying a small jar of cocoa butter body lotion and showed it to his lover.

"I guess this'll have to do."

Dee laughed. "I don't imagine lube would be pretty high on Drake's shopping list. It's probably an old girlfriend's."

Ryo unscrewed the lid and studied the contents. "I think there's just enough – hey!" The sharp tug on his shirt pulled him forward onto the couch, allowing him to straddle Dee who was grinning up at him.

"Well we'd better make it good then."

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Drake poured himself a cup of coffee and contemplated whether he should knock on Dee's door and offer him one while it was fresh. He was spared the decision when the spare room door opened to reveal his houseguest, dressed in just a t-shirt and his boxers.

"Hey, buddy," Drake said with a grin. "How'd the date go? Did Ryo have a good time?"

Dee smiled once he had stifled a yawn. "Why don't you ask him yourself?" He moved to one side to reveal his similarly attired lover, his dark blond hair tousled from sleep.

"Ryo!" Drake exclaimed. "Good to see you."

"Thanks. I hope you don't mind me staying over."

"Hell no! You're always more than welcome." He turned his attention to Dee and winked, a wicked grin on his face. "What happened to circumspect?"

The dark haired man glanced at his lover, who blushed slightly under the scrutiny. "In the words of my beautiful husband: fuck circumspect. How could I argue with that?"

Drake looked in surprise at Ryo, the other man's embarrassment telling the intuitive detective what had been on his mind when he'd made the comment. He held up his hands, but he was smiling too. "Whoah, okay. I get the picture. Well it's great to see you guys together at last."

The two men nodded as Ryo slipped his arms around Dee's body and rested his head on his shoulder. "Thanks. And the feeling's entirely mutual."

Drake switched his attention back to Dee, whose grin was threatening to split his face. "And I guess I don't need to ask if you feel the same?"

"Got that right!"

Drake left for work shortly after, leaving the two men alone in the apartment. They ate breakfast, during which Mike Delaney rang to say that he would be speaking to the doctor who had treated Stacey Kleppel later on that morning and would call around later on to fill them in on what he'd found out. With breakfast eaten and cleared away, they returned to the bedroom.

"You know, I could stay like this all day."

Ryo looked over at his lover, lying on the bed, and smiled. "Agreed, but didn't you say a nurse was coming to change your dressing some time this morning?"

Dee made a face. "Ah, crap. I'd forgotten about that. Actually, I need to ask you a favour. Will you help me bandage my arm?"

Ryo frowned as he slipped the fresh t-shirt Dee had loaned him over his head. "Bandage it? But it's already bandaged."

A sheepish expression answered his query. "Well yeah, but I was supposed to keep it strapped to my chest –"

"Dee! You –"

"But I wouldn't have been able to wear my suit and I wanted to look good for you, you know? And you can't deny that us both being in our wedding suits made the night more special."

It was impossible to stay mad at Dee with his infectious enthusiasm and Ryo found himself smiling and shaking his head. "Dee McLain, will you ever do as you're told?"

"That depends. If you're telling me to make mad passionate love to you for the next half an hour, I think I can handle a spot of obedience."

"Will you settle for me re-bandaging your arm and not telling the nurse that you ignored their medical advice?"

Dee made a show of considering Ryo's offer, before he shrugged, his eyes twinkling with humour. "Okay, deal."

The nurse arrived shortly after. To further the illusion that he was convalescing, Dee got back in bed, staying dressed in only a t-shirt and his boxers so the nurse could re-dress the wound on his thigh. When she informed him it had bled a little, he feigned surprise, not wishing to inform the stern-faced woman that it was probably a vigorous bout of couch sex that had caused it. She also attended to the stab and defence wounds on his upper limbs, taking particular care with his left hand that had been the subject of surgery.

To his relief, she deemed it unnecessary to keep it strapped to his body, instead giving him a foam sling to wear. Once she'd gone, Ryo helped him get dressed and they moved into the living room to await the arrival of the detective from the Fourteenth.

The time alone led to the inevitable discussion about the girl who had come between them and almost succeeded in murdering them both.

"So when did you know it wasn't really Tyler?" Ryo asked, handing Dee a mug of coffee before joining him on the couch.

Dee crushed his cigarette into the ashtray on the arm of the couch as he answered. "Bicky and Cal had her figured out first, although with hindsight there were other things that didn't add up. The fact that she hated Bright for one – she was crazy about dogs, Ryo. I guess I was just so psyched to get her back, I was blind to those inconsistencies."

Ryo laid a hand on his shoulder. "It's understandable, love. We all wanted it to be her, and besides, people change a lot so why would you be suspicious? To be fair, impersonating someone in order to move in with their family isn't something that happens everyday."

"Yeah I know. It's kinda scary how well she'd done her homework. Even Penguin was fooled. Hell, she knew stuff about me, about my old life…"

"Like you said, she'd done her homework." Cradling his mug of tea between his fingers, Ryo found himself musing out loud. "All that effort she went to – you have to wonder why. I know she had that condition you mentioned, but why us? We've never met her before, have we?"

He jumped when Dee sat forward suddenly as if he'd received an electric shock.

"Wait! She said something… She said she'd loved you from the moment she met you – when-" he paused as the memory came back to him – "when you got her bag back for her, whatever the hell that means."

Ryo frowned, wondering much the same thing. "I dunno. To be honest, I initially got the feeling that I'd met her somewhere before, but I still can't place her face."

Dee drained the last of his coffee and handed the empty mug to Ryo, who was about to go back to the kitchen. "No matter. It doesn't change anything that's happened."

Delaney arrived as the two men were finishing their lunch. His casual clothes were rumpled and the two men correctly concluded that a late night had merged into an early morning with very little rest in between. He still looked buoyant however, with the adrenaline buzz of closing a case showing in his eyes and smile.

"This is my husband Ryo," Dee announced, realising that Delaney had never actually met his other half, despite the number of times they had discussed him. He sat back as the two shook hands, smiling when Ryo informed the detective that he was feeling very well after his brief stay in hospital.

"And how are you doing, Dee?"

"Not bad, thanks. Where's your partner today?"

Delaney grinned and stretched. "He's at the station completing paperwork like a madman. We figured we owed it to you to get this wrapped up as quickly as possible."

"It's appreciated," Dee replied. "We just wanna get things back to normal." He looked to Ryo who nodded his agreement.

"Well, since Stacey Kleppel is dead, the attempted murder case on you, Ryo will be automatically closed. The likelihood is that the same will happen with Kelly Capland. The doctors say she's showing signs of improvement and we should be able to talk to her in the next couple of days. I'd be more than a little surprised if she didn't name Stacey as her attacker. We also found a diary at your apartment which details her intention to harm you, Dee."

The lovers looked at each other solemnly as Delaney continued. "She talked of swapping your insulin with saline in the hope that the lack of insulin would eventually kill you. I presume she chose saline so it couldn't be traced if anything happened to you."

"It nearly did," Dee replied, turning from Delaney to Ryo. "It certainly answers the question of how I did my injections but went still went hyper." His face clouded with anger. "I was fucking committed because of her. I could have lost my job – I nearly lost you."

Ryo looked pained. At the time, Dee's insistence that he'd done his injections as normal just couldn't be true. Hearing this information answered those seemingly unanswerable questions, but it did little to ease Ryo's guilt. He should have trusted his husband, even in the face of evidence to the contrary. He looked up suddenly when Dee's hand touched his.

"It's okay, Ryo. It doesn't matter. I'd probably have thought the same if the situation was reversed."

Ryo offered his lover a sad smile, knowing that Dee was just being kind. Dee never wavered – if he said he trusted someone then he trusted them implicitly. He'd have known that there must be another explanation, no matter how unlikely it seemed.

"I'm so sorry, Dee. I should have listened to you. I wish-"

"Ryo." Dee's voice was firm but not unkind. "Let it go."

The blond nodded reluctantly before he turned his attention to Delaney, who had sat quiet during the previous exchange. "So do you know any more about how she ended up the way she did?"

Delaney scratched at one auburn eyebrow. "Well, from what I can gather, she had a pretty crappy start in life. Her dad walked out on her and her mother for another woman when she was six, but her mother always hoped she'd win him back. When she realised it wasn't going to happen, she made repeated suicide attempts, saved only by young Stacey who was usually the one to find her before it was too late.

"Eventually she succeeded, leaving Stacey, now aged eight, to a succession of foster carers and children's homes. The doctor says she was referred to him by the staff at one of the homes. Basically they were all shit-scared of her. He says that most of her anger was directed at her mother. She had attachment issues, which apparently is often a precursor to stalking behaviour. She looked for strong male figures – the guy she had the supposed suicide pact with was a real high achiever and destined for great things by all accounts. If she knew you were a cop, Ryo, then it's easy to see why she chose you."

"I just can't remember meeting her before," Ryo replied in frustration.

"Okay, well how about now? The doctor faxed this over." From his pocket, Delaney produced a piece of paper. On it was a photo, grainy having come through the fax, but clearly showing a very different Stacey Kleppel from the one they'd known. Several seconds elapsed before Ryo became animated.

"I do know her!" He looked at Dee, whose expression communicated his obvious surprise. "A couple of days after our wedding, when we were about to go on our honeymoon. I went to the store, because you'd forgotten to buy some stuff, remember? Anyway, I heard someone shout that they'd been robbed and turned to see this guy hurtling towards me. I managed to intercept the thief – I couldn't stop him but I did get her bag back. She thanked me, and I left. I didn't even get her name, nor did I give her mine. How the hell did she find us?"

"If it was around the time we got married, then maybe she saw us in the paper," Dee suggested, to which Ryo shrugged, knowing they'd never have a definite answer.

"Well, basically, it seems like life wasn't too kind to poor old Stacey Kleppel," Delaney said finally.

"Sounds that way," Dee said quietly, glancing across at Ryo.

The three men talked some more before Delaney announced that he had to go. He promised to keep them posted on any new developments, then got up to leave, with Ryo preparing to show him out.

"Well, take it easy, guys," Delaney said as he pulled on his jacket. He paused thoughtfully, then grinned. "Have you guys ever considered early retirement? You seem to have more than your fair share of bad luck as cops."

When he'd gone, Ryo turned to face his lover, whose own gaze was fixed on the world beyond the apartment.

"Dee?"

The dark haired man turned from the window and smiled. "Sorry… I was just thinking about Laura, uh, Stacey, I mean. You know, I used to think that all my problems would never have existed if I'd had parents, but stories like hers just make me realise how naïve I was."

Ryo nodded as he came and sat down beside him. "You're right, and well, despite everything she did, I can't help but feel a little sorry for her."

"Yeah." He was surprised to hear Dee agreeing with him, having expected his lover to be outraged that he could find it in his heart to forgive her. "And besides, it's kinda pointless being angry at someone who's dead. That kinda shit can eat away at a guy and I sure as hell ain't gonna let it do that to me."

Without warning, Ryo reached over and, taking Dee's face in his hands, kissed him soundly. When they pulled apart, Dee's eyebrow quirked upwards.

"What was that for? Not that I didn't totally enjoy it or anything. And if you wanna do it again, then be my guest-"

"Because you're amazing, that's why. You've been through so much and yet you're strong and funny and smart. You're a special guy, Dee and I'm so proud to be with you."

Dee smiled, but there was sadness in the expression as he recalled the memory. "When I called you from the hospital, telling you I wanted to come home and you never replied – I thought it was over for sure."

"What phone call?" Ryo's face was consumed by a frown.

"I called late the night before I was released and left a message on your cell so you'd get it when you switched your phone on in the morning. I said that if I didn't hear from you then I'd know you thought it was over between us."

Ryo's body stilled, his expression horror struck. "Oh God, Dee! I never got that message, I swear. I'd never have ignored you – hell, I wanted you to come home more than anything! I don't understand how I never got that message."

"Did you ever let your phone out of your sight?"

Ryo contemplated the question, mentally re-visiting the day when the voice message would have arrived. "I don't think so. I nearly forgot it-"

"What?"

"But Tyler reminded me to take it. Now I remember – I had to go down to the car to get Bicky's school bag. When I got back, I grabbed my briefcase to leave for work, but I'd left my phone on the table having just switched it on before I went to the car. She handed it to me…" His voice trailed off, the awful reality dawning on him.

"The message probably came through while you were out of the apartment." Dee shook his head in disbelief of their rotten luck. "She probably listened to it and deleted it. By saying I'd leave you alone if I got no reply she had the perfect way to keep us apart without even trying."

There was a heavy silence as they both contemplated how close they'd come to disaster. Neither doubted that any other inconsistencies they might recall could be linked to the girl that had fooled them all.

Dee studied his injured arm resting in the foam sling. There was something else that was troubling him, but he didn't feel comfortable voicing it to Ryo just yet. It was what Delaney had just said about their 'bad luck' when it came to police work. They were both damn good at their job, but it was fair to say that their jobs had led them into some exceptionally dangerous situations. That was the problem. He'd come so close to losing Ryo and even though he hadn't, he still found himself entertaining thoughts of what might have been. He couldn't live through that – it would be worse than everything that had happened to him combined.

"Dee?"

Ryo was looking at him, trying to figure out what was wrong. He reached for his lover's hand and squeezed it gently. "Sorry. I was a million miles away then." He inclined his head towards the door. "Come on. We should go pick Bicky up before Cal's aunt realises what a brat he really is and turns him over to the authorities."

Ryo laughed. "That woman's a star. I can't believe she agreed to put him and the dog up at her house for a couple of nights." He rolled his eyes. "Let's hope he hasn't chewed any of her shoes."

"Oh yeah," Dee chuckled. "Because we all know Bicky's not happy unless he's got his teeth in a pair of sneakers."

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Dee had forgotten about Delaney's comment until, much later, when Ryo turned to him in bed. Despite the darkness, Dee could tell from the other man's breathing that he was not asleep.

"Dee? You awake?"

"Yeah. I was just about to ask you the same thing. What's up?"

Ryo moved in the darkness until he was resting on Dee's chest. Dee's arm came around him and began to gently trace a pattern on his bare shoulder.

"I just got to thinking – about something Mike Delaney said earlier, when he was here."

Dee stopped stroking, his rhythm broken. "What did he say?"

"He said that we should take early retirement – I know he was only kidding," he added hastily, "But I guess it made me think about me and you and well, us being cops." He lifted his head off Dee's chest and looked straight at him, his lover's face just about discernible in the light given off by the glowing digits of the digital clock. "I'm scared, Dee. I'm scared that next time we won't be so lucky, and I can't bear the thought of losing you, or leaving you and Bicky if anything happened to me."

Dee could hear the fear in his husband's voice. Somehow things seemed worse at night – like the darkness made it easier to be emotional and pessimistic, whereas the daylight gave a person the strength to banish such negative thoughts.

"It's everything we've worked for, I know, but I can't help but think that we'd be better off if we did a job that wasn't so unpredictable and dangerous. I'm sorry…"

"Hey, it's okay," Dee replied before he pulled Ryo forward and kissed him gently on the forehead. "To be honest, I'd had pretty much the same thought earlier."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but this isn't something we can just make a snap decision on. We need to weigh things up, talk things over. Let's just get all this crazy shit out the way first – then we'll start planning our future. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Ryo responded, relieved that Dee hadn't thought him crazy or over dramatic. He couldn't imagine not being a cop, but he couldn't imagine losing Dee either and from what his lover had just said, it seemed like he was having similar thoughts of his own.

They'd decide together, and only together, but Ryo didn't doubt that it was going to be one of the toughest decisions they would ever have to make.

TBC…