Disclaimer: I am NOT J K Rowling and this song is '24 Hours' by Athlete, I suggest you listen to it because it is a truly beautiful song.
24 Hours
People rushing left to right
There's pretty faces left to right
I'm just frozen staring into space
There he stood. My husband, my lover, my best friend. The one person I had come to rely so completely upon that it scared me. He was standing looking out the window, his back straight and turned towards me as his breath misted up the glass pane. I can feel his impatience increasing as he watches the outside world drift by. I can feel the pent up tension radiating off of him, the knots across his shoulders and the trapped sensation that rocks his entire body. He's like a caged animal that needs to break free.
That's my James. My James as he is now at least. I remember a time when he was a free spirit, when he could do as he wished without thinking of the consequences, but we're living in a completely different world to the one I grew up in. Just as we both approach adulthood, and our total freedom, our lives are being forced cruelly into captivity, for our own sake of course. His hazel eyes flicker in annoyance as he watches the people outside go past our window and carry on their lives whilst we remain here, counting down the days; the hours even. The very idea that we may not wake tomorrow does not shake me in the slightest any more.
He's beautiful, my husband, and I thank my lucky stars that he asked me to be Mrs Potter for the rest of my life. I slink my arms around his waist, his breath increasing slightly at my touch because he wasn't aware of my presence.
"Hello, love."
Faster than the speed of light
I'm holding on, I'm holding tight
Cause stars are gonna crash into this place.
A shiver forces its way down my spine at the word 'love' spoken in his deep voice. It always reminds me just how lucky I am, even though I'm trapped in a small house with no chocolate and the whole world ignoring my existence I'm still loved by one of the most handsome men I know. With his untameable raven black locks and sparkling hazel eyes, his tall frame that remains youthful and skinny, even with all that Auror training. I could never pinpoint the exact moment when our relationship took an uncertain path that led from hate to love.
"Hello. What are you looking at?"
Of course I know what he's looking at; the people allowed to live their lives freely without fear of being attacked when you take a walk down the road to get more milk from the nearby shop. The only reason we are different from these people walking past our window is that we have a child together; that I'm a muggleborn; that we have thrice defied Voldemort or perhaps it is that some crackpot old fool of a Divination teacher made a prophecy about us and now we are fearing for our son's life.
"Nothing really. Just the people going by. Living life, you know." He says, of course I know what he really means, he turns around in my arms and holds me close. I feel his chest heave against mine as he sighs heavily. All I ever seem to give James is grief. Even in school I was horrid to him, always arguing and rejecting him in the worst ways possible, at some points I even enjoyed the pain I caused him, like some malicious bully I almost waited for the pinpointed moment when I could see his heart breaking in his eyes.
"Yeah I know."
It's whispered so quietly that I wonder if he has heard my soft voice through the silence that haunts our small house in Godrics Hollow. I glance over his shoulder as I stand on tip toe to match his height and glance for myself at the few people walking past, laughing about some silent joke that I can't hear. Looking at them, it's as though I'm watching a documentary on the muggle television set we have in the living room.
And it's caught wide screen so we don't miss a thing
Now I'm standing clear
Cause all I waited for..
His gaze settles on me, heating my skin with a gaze that makes me turn to look curiously at him.
"What?" I ask with narrowed eyes, fixing him with the same glance he is giving me. His lips curl upwards and he is forced to turn away. I have always been told my eyes are my best feature and he has told me on many an occasion that my gaze is so piercing that it looks as though I can see straight into his soul, see all his thoughts and know all his dreams. Of course, he doesn't know that I can't and I've never taken the time to correct him.
"Nothing. You just look...magical today. Are you sure you haven't changed anything? Your hair? Your make up?" He asks with an amused look gracing his angular features. He has always reminded me of some ancient Greek god whose statue will remain forever immortal in a temple somewhere in the Mediterranean.
"No, nothing has changed." I twist in his arms to fully face him and a content smile settles on my lips.
"Ah, just my luck that I get a wife who gets more beautiful everyday. Soon you'll leave me for someone younger, won't you?" He asks me playfully as he swoops to kiss my cheek. I smile, enjoying his childish antics, although we both know that we may not live through the night for me to leave him as he suggests. We both know that we may leave our only son orphaned, both know that we might not have the chance to see him go to Hogwarts or even see his third birthday.
Closing in
We've still got twenty four hours
He's closing in,
We've still got twenty four hours
We've trusted Peter to be our Secret Keeper and I sometimes worry about the strength of one of James' best friends. As a group: The Marauders, they are invincible, nothing could ever hurt them, but individually they all have their problems. Sirius has been disowned by his family, Remus is a werewolf, James is hunted and Peter...Peter is weak on his own. I always wondered why Peter hung around with James, Sirius and Remus at Hogwarts and now that we are outside of school Peter has found other things to occupy his time, I often wonder where he disappears to, of course, I would never voice these opinions to James because I know he trusts Peter with his life, in fact he trusts Peter with not only his life but mine and Harry's too.
Voldemort's efforts to get to us increase weekly and I often wonder how we can incite so much fear into the heart of the (allegedly) darkest wizard ever. Just James and I. Another couple in a million with a son. We could be anyone, but of course we aren't. We're Lily Evans, well Potter now, and James Potter. The two wizards who have escaped Voldemort's clutches three times and are still alive to tell the tale.
Of course, we're not the only witch and wizard to have escaped Voldemort three times, there was Alice and Frank Longbottom. I say 'was', as in the past tense. They met Voldemort once more and weren't so lucky. He found them and tortured them with the Cruiactus curse until they were no longer able to think coherently. Tortured into insanity. It's too cruel to dwell on. Now they spend their days in St Mungos not even recognising their baby son, Neville. Neville has spent some days around our house, playing with Harry and spending time with his godparents, James and I. Of course, Sirius and Remus love both children like they were their own sons. It's really something beautiful to see James, Sirius and Remus playing with Harry and Neville with no cares in the world. It means that, even for a few short hours, I can forget that we are hidden away from the world, isolated from everyone, being hunted down like animals by Voldemort.
"Yeah, I'll get bored of you next week and up and leave. You can keep Harry, I know Sirius and Remus would miss him too much."
His head shoots up and I feel his intake of breath as he begins to chuckle, the rumble grating in his throat.
"You don't believe me. You're laughing at me." I pout up at him as I cross my arms over my chest and step out of the protective circle of his arms. He smiles down at my small frame as his hand reaches out to stroke my auburn locks that hang straight down my back.
"I'm not laughing at you. I take it very seriously, but I have to laugh to cover up my pain of you leaving. I can't let you see me cry." He says in mock sincerity.
"Oh, I'm sorry, maybe I can do something to relieve the pain? I didn't mean it, you know." I take a step closer, unfolding my arms in the process.
"Ah, I think something could be arranged, Mrs Potter." James says as his hazel eyes sparkle in amusement.
"Hmm? And what might that be, Mr Potter?" I ask with a grin as I lean up towards him. My lips are about to touch his and he says something unexpected.
"You could give me the house as well as Harry."
I freeze in position and my eyes flutter open. His nose has gone out of focus but I can see that his lips are turned upwards in a smile. My eyes have gone cold and I remain almost touching him but immobile in my path towards his warm embrace.
"Shut up and kiss me, smart arse."
He allows a short laugh into the air before I move forward and my lips are crushed against his in anger and lust all combined in a dangerous, explosive mixture. He isn't given enough time to react as he normally would; which would be to take control and gently ease the kiss into something much more passionate. My arms wind around his neck as we continue in the middle of our living room in front of a window that has several people glancing in, who cannot see us. Finally responding to my kiss he wraps me in his warm embrace and begins to take control of the heated moment, but before he manages to become dominant Harry's voice rips through the oppressive silence.
We break away and I remain leaning on his chest as he breathes out one word: "Wow."
I grin, proud that I can still get that reaction from my husband, well, you wouldn't want your husband to become bored, would you? I step away from his arms and head towards the nursery where Harry has just woken up from his hour long nap that he takes everyday at random times. I literally fly up the stairs as his cry becomes more urgent and I enter the nursery to find him crying mercilessly on his comforter. His head picks up at the sound of me entering and his sobs become silent as tears subside.
"Where's my big, brave Harry?" I ask in baby tones as a smile begins to dawn on his face. His mop of black hair is already almost covering his eyes and he'll need a hair cut soon. When he was about 6 months old he began to look a lot like James and as he gets older I can see my husbands features everywhere, even in his unruly hair that refuses to lie flat, but everyday he looks more and more like 'Harry'; beautiful.
This is more than daily bread
It's three degrees its something else
And you just take it in your stride.
Harry stretches his arms upwards in a gesture that he wants to be picked up, so I oblige. Scooping his small body into a protective cradle, a position he is almost too big for now, I coo at him as he tries to catch my wedding ring on my finger. I noise behind me makes me turn to see James stood behind me, leaning casually against the doorframe. He smiles at me and comes towards Harry and I. It always startles me just how casual he is about the whole situation, the fact that we are prisoners in our own home never really seems to faze him, of course, he complains about being cooped up and he wants to go outside but he never seems to realise how serious the situation is. The idea that if we were allowed to live normally Voldemort would kill us in our sleep as well as our son.
"Hello Mummy." James says as he wraps an arm around my shoulders. I smile up at him before returning my attention to the toddler trying to beat the arm off my shoulder. With an indignant wail, Harry pouts at his Dad with a look that says vaguely: 'Get your hands off my Mum, or else.' James rolls his eyes and crosses his arms whilst glaring back at his son.
I often wonder which one is the child in this relationship.
"Daddy you should know by now that any form of affection in front of Harry is frowned upon." I chastised him as I smile down at Harry in my arms who has resumed his task of stealing my diamond ring.
"Sorry if I love my wife." A sulking voice pipes up from behind me and I sense, rather than see, that he is sticking his tongue out at me.
"Be that as it may, would you please refrain from teaching my son bad habits at such a young age."
"What do you mean? I haven't done anything!" He responds indignantly.
"You stuck your tongue out at me."
"Did not."
".."
"You're doing it again."
"How do you know that!?" He demands as he circles me to stand in front of Harry and I. I smile up at him.
"It's a gift."
Flashback
Couldn't be an accident
"Lily, I know these last few months have been very hard but we're all so pleased that you are well and happy. I-I have to talk to you p-p-privately, about something that concerns you th-two. It's very i-important...when can we meet? How about...yes, yes next Tuesday sounds good...no, no don't bother yourself by coming all this way. I'll..I'll meet up with you down there, I'll come to the house. Okay? Yep, sounds good. I can't wait." Peter Pettigrew slammed the muggle telephone down on its receiver.
Cause I can't see no ambulance
End Flashback
I placed Harry gently in his crib as the last notes of the song on the radio faded away. He was already in a deep sleep and he looked so peaceful that I let im drift away into the land of nod. A yawn escaped my lips as I leant on the wooden railings of my son's bed and gazed lovingly as he slumbered.
I know that we will work it out this time
I crawled into my own double bed, with James already waiting for me. I lay straight out, my legs tangling with his as I draped an arm across his chest. I always found it odd how James sleeps on his back, I never imagined it as comfortable. His right arm wraps around my back, burying me closer into his body warmth and I sigh contently. He kisses the top of my head and his voice echoes in the room. We always talk before we go to sleep, it's the one thing that is done regularly in the Potter household.
"Peter's coming tomorrow, isn't he?"
Closing in
We've still got twenty four hours
"Yeah, he said he has something really important to talk to us about, apparently. Maybe he doesn't want to be our Secret Keeper anymore?"
Closing in
Still got twenty four hours
James shakes his head, "No, that won't be it. Peter is stronger than you give him credit for. Must be important though, if he wouldn't just apparate the same day." He says thoughtfully as he scratches his neck.
"Hmmm…probably." Sleep is washing over my tired body and I wonder what tomorrow will hold for my little family.
It's not over
We've still got twenty four hours.
"What's the time?" He asks as a yawn emerges from his throat. I glance over at the clock on my bedside table and squint as I try to figure out the numbers in my exhausted state.
"Just gone midnight. Why?" I ask sleepily.
"Happy halloween, Lils."
It's not over
It's not over
We've still got twenty four hours
Still got twenty four hours