Chapter 2

Cloud hacked, coughed, wheezed, and sputtered as a large puff of smoke put him in a stranglehold after his dynamite went off. He had half a mind to ask whether or not the old Bone Village miners were just playing a joke on the newcomer, hoping to scare him off and keep their corner on the market for pointless digging. The other half of his mind just wanted to punch the jerks.

When the air finally cleared, Cloud muttered a few consoling words – mostly curses – as he trudged over to where he thought everyone should dig that night. If he was somehow lucky enough to have picked a location that hadn't already been dug to death by the same digging crew that had spent the last several years cleaning out every inch of the area. Sure, for a mere couple thousand square feet, the site had a ridiculous amount of treasure hidden in it, including a magical harp that for some reason had previously allowed Cloud to pass through the nearby forest, but sooner or later, everything had to run dry.

According to the printout Cloud had brought from home, though, today would not be that day. Buried in the dirt was, at least supposedly, the first step toward getting Aeris back: the key to Sector 5 of Midgar. What it was doing buried in Bone Village, he had no clue whatsoever, but if he ever wanted to see the myopic flower girl again, Cloud had to press on. Pressing on meant suppressing the rising urge to kill everyone around him who wasn't complaining about the dirt.

Having picked his spot, Cloud cursed a bit louder, gestured to the digging team, and clamored back to the tend, where Yuffie was waiting for him. In his mind he ran through his excuses for wanting Aeris back without spoiling that he was in love with two non-ninja girls, not just Tifa. Yuffie understood that Cloud was trapped in a loveless marriage with the childhood sweetheart he only tolerated because of the bond they forged saving the world from Sephiroth (to say nothing of Tifa's efforts to help Cloud recover his sanity when he went catatonic at Mideel), and that she was his real lover. What Yuffie probably wouldn't buy would be Cloud's claim that he and Aeris didn't really care for each other. He could easily offer his past total neglect of girls he had promised to love as evidence for his not giving a rip about Aeris, but his paying through the nose for the revival instructions and then following them like some sort of born sucker had to make for some pretty spectacular counterevidence.

The lie Cloud deemed most likely to fool his mistress was that they were off chasing the components needed to summon the Ancient Elder Regal Overlord of Supermateria. To a bad speller, or to someone not clever enough to try Ancient Elder Retainer of Immaculate Supermateria, this was a pretty good approximation of the acronym Cloud was going for.

"Yuffie!" chuffed a dirty and tired hero. "I think we're done for the day. Time to relax."

"Cloud, dearie, what are we out here in the middle of nowhere for, again?"

"You remember, don't you?"

"Actually, I don't. That's kind of why I'm asking."

"A.E.R.O.S."

"Isn't she dead?"

"No, the Ancient Elder Regal Overlord of Supermateria. A.E.R.O.S. You like materia, don't you?"

"I love it."

"Then you're going to love me when we finish this quest, because I'm going to get you the biggest chunk of materia you've ever seen."

"It better be, Cloud, dear. I'm freezing my buns off, and you're filthy."

"Just come to bed already, won't you?"

"Sheesh, alright! Somebody's cranky!"

"You noticed?"
"And filthy. I already said you were filthy. Go wash up."

One of Cloud's most visible reactions to the next morning's curveball was to kiss the printout of the instructions. Against all odds, against all likelihood, and against all logic, the digging crew actually turned up the key. Cloud began to reassess the author of the instructions. He now labeled him "snot-nosed punk most likely sending me on a wild goose chase" instead of "snot-nosed punk almost assuredly sending me on a wild goose chase." The new optimism almost made up for the reduced cathartic effect.

Yuffie's first action of the day was not a kiss. She jabbed one of her throwing stars into Cloud's hand as he shook her awake, eager to tell her the good news. She drew blood. Her first sentence of the day went something like this:

What the unintelligible muttering so early, even for you, you more muttering getting me up and acting like we've struck gold muttering good mind to hit you…

Cloud kissed her chapped and dirty lips. At the moment, his hearing wasn't quite good enough to allow him to distinguish between hit and kiss. His efforts got him slapped.

"You twerp!" came a suddenly wide awake response.

"But you said…"

"Never mind that. Do you think I'm in the mood for kissy-face after waking up out in the middle of nowhere, in the freezing cold, when I need my beauty sleep?"

"But…"

"No buts. You're going straight to the doghouse."

"I got the key."

"Do you have any idea how much sleep it takes to get me to look this good?"

"The key. The key we need to get to the material."

"Who shot who in the what, now?"

"Materia."

"Ah. Why didn't you say so?"

"Let's go."