Wow, two updates in two days. But don't get used to this, it won't happen that often ;)
The Crazies and the Loonies and the... Other Crazies
Part VI - Uh... Well, It's The Title. Who Cares?
"You call that a title?" Riku asked.
"I thought I shut you up inside of Part V!"
"Man, you can't shut up the Riku."
The girl standing next to Riku laughed obnoxiously. Really weird symbolism, huh?
"Sig!" the author said in surprise. "I expected this much from Kyo, but I would think you would show a little more self-control."
Riku's tone of voice became annoyed. "So just... get on with the story. I need to get done with it before my haircut at four."
The author rolled his eyes. "Okay, Your Highness." The boy and the girl with no self-control were sent to an alternate universe, where a voice said:
"Okay, you know the drill. You get sent to another world where you have to shut up Kairi. By the way, Sora, you look different."
"She's not Sora!" Riku exclaimed angrily. "She's Sig. She's going along with me instead of that brat."
The girl laughed obnoxiously.
"Okay, okay," the voice remarked. "Don't wanna know." And he sent them on their way.
Riku and Sig appeared on a stage. Suddenly a woman with blonde hair, wearing a businessy-type suit, ran in.
"Are you replacing me on Weekend Update?" she sobbed. "I knew I wasn't doing as well as I could be..."
Sig laughed obnoxiously.
"What she means to say is, 'Stop crying, Amy Poehler!'"
"So, are you replacing her?" said a woman wearing horn-rimmed glasses, a businessy-type suit, and whom had dark brownish hair. "If so, let me introduce myself: I'm Tina Fey."
"So where are we?" Riku asked.
The girl laughed obnoxiously.
"'Saturday Night Live', eh? What's that?
The girl laughed obnoxiously and angrily.
"No need to get all huffy! You realize I'm not from here!"
"3... 2... 1..." a person behind a camera said.
In Amy Poehler's state of sobbing uncontrollably, she was forced not to be able to do the show; so the author replaced her on Weekend Update.
---
After Weekend Update finished, everyone screamed, "That was great! You're so much better than Amy Poehler, uh..."
Suddenly, a guy stood up. "The author!" he chanted, and soon everyone was chanting, "THE AUTHOR, THE AUTHOR, THE AUTHOR, THE AUTHOR, THE AUTHOR!"
"So this is what it feels like to have my own cheering section," the author said.
"Hey, look! There's my cheering section!" Tina Fey exclaimed.
"Where?" the author asked.
"There! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaay in the back!"
"Oh... those three guys and who girls that look suspiciously familiar?"
"Yeah. They're also the fans of some girl called... Kiari."
"That's 'Kairi'. I hate it when people misspell her name, even though I hate her."
Suddenly, a huge red robotic monster with a strange yellow head walked in. "Z-Boy hungry!" he cried.
"A MONSTER!" Riku shouted. "DIE, MONSTER, DIE!"
Sig let out an obnoxious laugh that sounded suspiciously like a battle-cry.
"Er..." the author said, worried for his friend's sanity.
Riku took out his Soul Eater, while Sig picked up a notebook and pencil from the floor. Riku attacked the beast relentlessly, while Sig... wrote... relentlessly. Eventually, Riku had reduced the monster to .001 percent of an HP, and Sig had finished her story. She let out an obnoxious laugh that sounded suspiciously like "DIE, MONSTER!", and threw the thousand-page notebook at the monster. The notebook reduced the monster's HP by... well, by exactly .001 percent of an HP, which is exactly how much HP it had left.
"Konichiwa!" it cried out in pain.
Sig laughed obnoxiously, sounding like "Yay! We won! ...Why did it say 'Hello' in Japanese when it's clearly supposed to say 'Good-bye' in French?"
The author sighed knowledgably. "Because I'm writing this and I don't know how to say 'Good-bye' in French and I'm too lazy to go online and look for an English-to-French Dictionary.
The monstrous robot staggered backwards and fell, crushing the Musical Guest.
"YOU CRUSHED UTADA HIKARU!" Tina Fey cried. "NOW YOU HAVE TO BE THE MUSICAL GUEST, RIKU AND... ER... GIRL!"
"Eh... what?" Riku said.
---
And so, because Riku and Sig crushed Utada Hikaru beneath a giant red robotic suspiciously Japanese monster, they had to replace her as the musical guest! Afterwards...
"BOO!" the entire audience yelled, throwing rotten fruit, vegetables, and various meats. "YOU STINK!"
"I don't stink that bad!" Riku protested.
Sig laughed obnoxiously, sounding suspiciously like "Actually... you do. Do you use deodorant at all?"
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY GIRLFRIEND!" Riku yelled angrily.
Sig laughed obnoxiously, sounding suspiciously like "Doesn't mean I have to like the way you smell."
"That is IT!" Riku screamed.
Sig laughed obnoxiously, sounding like "WA! You're dumping me?"
"Yes, good-bye," Riku confirmed. He sliced the air with his sword, which created a rip in the space-time continuum, which Riku walked into, which should have caused him to go to the Destiny Islands, but actually took him to Sylvarant and/or Tethe'alla, which are from Tales of Symphonia, which made this sentence officially the most-run-on sentence in the world.
A SPECIAL PREVIEW OF PART VII...
"This isn't a preview!" Riku said. "This is just an example of how we might talk in the next Part. It's all a rip-off!"
"Shut up, Riku!" the author cried. "Do you want the fans to get mad at me- ow!"
"Subject is at about 57 percent health," Presea Combatir remarked. "Subject is at 38 percent health... Subject is at 23 percent health... Subject is at 12 percent health... Subject is at 0 percent health... Subject has been revived from Raine Sage and is at 100 percent health... Subject has defeated 87 fans... Subject has defeated 642 fans... Subject has written the world's most captivating novel and distracted every fan except for two Fan-Girls... Deranged Fangirl Number One has run off with Riku... Riku is screaming for mercy in between cries of joy... Deranged Fangirl Number Two has distracted subject with her 6, 624, 872, 457-page fanfiction... No life signs detected from subject."
Why am I writing this closing author's note? I don't need to, there's really nothing I have to say :P Except that this is one of the shorter Parts :)