Chapter 10

Wolkedammerung: Hey, You, Get Off Of My Cloud

Nothing cures the blues like the sound of a child's laughter. Happy children normally portend luck and happiness and warm feelings of family and safety. This day, a particular basement in Kalm played host to a whole swarm of children, smiling, babbling, guffawing, dancing, and merrymaking like it was 1999. A few even went so far as to engage in all out cavorting and frolicking. All wore brightly colored conical hats. Truly, youth is wasted on the young.

Festive music droned on in the background, hardly noticeable below child-manufactured sounds. Splotches of chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and dabs of gooey, sugar-coated fruit on top lay around the floor in places that would be unexpected were the party populated by people over the age of thirteen. One boy found some on the seat of his pants after failing to find it on the seat of his chair before sitting down. Another boy found some thrown just past his head and onto a wall that at one point in its existence had been a plain white color.

Three boys clustered around a computer in a corner of the room. One two of them stared intently at the monitor, while the third, who was larger than the other two, kept watch for flying debris, by which he meant birthday cake.

"You got those screen grabs yet?" said the second boy.

"Getting them," said the first, furiously working the computer's mouse.

"'Cause I was thinking we should do something with the new Kingdom Hearts game," said the second.

"Like what?" the first said, interested.

"Make it look like there's a Tron level or something. Or maybe throw in some Final Fantasy VI."

"Hey, good idea," said the first. "We can use those old promo shots with Locke and Terra in 3-D, and we can paste them into the background from Traverse Town or something."

"I love Photoshop," said the second. "All those gullible rubes out there. Think we can charge people for these?"

"I don't see why not," said the first. "That's what our site is for."

"Incoming!" yelled the third boy. He just barely managed to stick his hand up above his head in time to intercept a sugary chocolate projectile.

"Man, I love this," said the second boy. "How much have we made so far?"

"I think around 5000 Gil," said the first boy. "5000 Gil and counting, and, wait, that's just this year, this page. Our last page made…"

"Yeah," interrupted the second boy, "over a hundred thousand, before we got shut down."

"And I don't feel the least bit guilty," said the first boy. "If someone wants to buy fake video game information, I say they're dumb enough to deserve what they get."

"I used to feel guilty," said the second, "but I stop whenever I count how many Pokemon cards my cut has got me."

"You're a good man," said the first. "Good man."

There followed about three minutes of silence as the first boy booted up Photoshop and began preparing his latest false internet rumor. Finally, though, he spoke.

"You spent your whole share on Pokemon cards?"

"I couldn't help it," said the second boy. "What else is there to buy, anyway?"

"Pokemon cards?" said the first. "You could at least buy something that will last, like Magic cards. Mine are still worth something, and eBay tells me your Pokemon cards aren't."

"Bite me," said the second boy. "You're just mad 'cause I can whip your sorry butt at any game."

"I'll make you eat those words as soon as we're done here," said the first boy. "Halo tournament, it is, then!"

"Halo tournament!" shouted the second and third boys in unison, and in a well practiced gesture, they reached for a pair of paper cups on the desktop, knocked them together as if in a toast, and drained their contents.

"Man, you guys are going down," said the second boy. "I mean, seriously. You better bring it today, or you gonna get it from my rocket launchers."

"You're nothing but a rocket lame-o," said the first boy. "Take away your rockets, and you're a loser. A big, fat loser."

"Yo mamma," said the second boy. "You can't even write a good rumor, much less take down me and my 'leet skills."

"'Leet?" said the first boy. "You still say that?"

"Doesn't everybody?" said the second. "You're still living in the past."

"The past that's made me rich," said the first boy. "The past that's kept my gaming skills up to par, while yours have deteriorated. I heard you even had crush on a girl."

"Who told you that?" demanded the second boy.

"It's all over school," said the first. "You're losing your focus. Next thing you know, you'll be sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, and then you'll be too busy taking care of your dozen babies to play any Halo."

"Not true," said the second. "I'm never going to lose my edge. Gamer for life."

"Whatever, loser," said the first. "Anyway, I've got the first picture done. What do you think?"

"Me like," said the second boy.

"Convincing," said the third.

"Good," said the first. "I'll upload it now."

A minute later, he logged into his website and began creating a new page. "Kingdom Hearts NEW RUMORS!" he called it. Shortly thereafter, his doctored image found its home in cyberspace. It shone on the screen like some cruel temptress, just barely blurry enough in thumbnail form to convince unwary travelers to plop down 9.95 Gil for the right to see more. Curiously, it sat directly next to a banner for another page on the same site, which read:

"Revive Aerith in ten easy steps! Ask us how! Only 29.95. Click for details."

Before the boys finished admiring their latest handiwork, a blob of cake landed on top of the monitor. All three let out shrieks of rage. Abandoning their computer for a suddenly more interesting project, they dashed off to find the culprit.

XXX

Yuffie Kisaragi bent forward, hands at her knees, exhausted.

"How many is that?" she asked for the 250th time.

"That's 256, I think," said Cloud. "We're done."

"Really? Oh, thank god!" Yuffie collapsed on the ground against a refreshingly cool rock. "So I can finally take this off?"

"Take what?" said Cloud. "Oh, yeah, that cursed ring. Yeah, I think you can. We've fought enough battles. It should be a Paladin Ring now."

"It doesn't look any different," said Yuffie.

"I guess it doesn't," said Cloud, "but I'm sure it transformed. Its magical effect must be different now."

"I'm not taking any chances," said Yuffie. "I'm putting it in my pocket, and there it's going to stay."

"Fair enough," said Cloud. "Now, for the list."

"Ooh," said Yuffie. She stood up and crowded behind Cloud in order to read over his shoulder. "What's next?"

Cloud pulled a scrap of paper from his pocket, unfolded it, and blinked. "Nothing," he said.

"Nothing? You mean we're done?"

"Looks that way," said Cloud.

"We finally get the A.E.R.O.S. Whew, I'm almost too tired to care," said Yuffie.

"Since when did you care about her?" said Cloud.

"Her?" said Yuffie. "Oh, you mean… No, I'm not talking about Aeris. What does she have to do with anything?"

Cloud stood completely still, wisely not answering.

"A.E.R.O.S, remember?" said Yuffie. "We're talking about live supermateria, not a dead girl. Geez, all that fighting must have made you stupid. And since when did you not know that I care about materia?"

"Oh, right," said Cloud. "Yeah, I misheard you."

"So where is it?" said Yuffie. "Is it supposed to appear out of nowhere now that we have all these items?"

"No," said Cloud. "We have to go get it."

"Drat," said Yuffie. "So where to next?"

"We're going to church."

XXX

"Still gloomy, ain't it?" said Yuffie as she looked over the decaying, mostly unused church. Most of Midgar was that way, but the church seemed even more so without anyone to tend to the garden inside. Everyone said the place died the day Aeris left and some dunderhead stepped on all the flowers inside, killing them. Not long after that, even the shaft of golden light illuminating the small, formerly happy garden patch in the middle of the sanctuary disappeared. The Midgar Restoration Project was the cause, of course. Someone in the upper city had patched up some section of the path from the inside of the church to the sky above, oblivious to the effect on the slums but perfectly conscious that some walkway in the upper half of the city had suddenly become a bit shadier and less leaky during rainstorms. Whatever the reason for the change, though, the most immediate effect, at least on residents of the slums, was that the church became less a symbol of hope and light and more a symbol of the past.

Fortunately, with the defeat of Shinra and Sephiroth, people had more to look for in the future and less to cling to in the past, but a few still lamented losing what had once been one of their few comforts. Even the rumors of Aeris's ghost haunting the garden died out. Some said she stopped coming as soon as the lights went out, and others claimed she faded away to a voice and then to nothing, gone forever when the last flower in the garden turned brown and disintegrated. Hardly anyone came by at all anymore, so few people so much as noticed the sign nailed to the outside of the church's front door.

Condemned building – Do not enter

Trespassers will be prosecuted by order

Of Mayor Domino II

"Very gloomy," said Cloud.

"Let's get this over with so you can dump the tramp," said Yuffie.
"You're pretty happy to hear that, aren't you?" said Cloud.

"I've been waiting for years for you to break it off with that ungrateful, savage, ugly beast."

"I can assure you, Yuffie," said Cloud, "that Tifa and I will cease to be a couple soon after we finish this ceremony."

"About time, too," said Yuffie, scowling slightly at the mention of Tifa's name but then clutching Cloud's arm and purring like a contented kitten. "I love you, Cloud."

"What?" said Cloud, who had not been listening. "Oh, it's about 11:50."

"Huh?" said Yuffie.

"You asked what time it was, right?" said Cloud. "Only ten minutes before we can start the ritual. We'd best get everything set up."

"Right, then," said Yuffie. "Lally ho, as they say."

"Who says that?"

"Never mind. Just help me unpack this stuff."

Yuffie pulled her backpack off her shoulders, set it on the floor, and emptied it.

"The key from the mining site. Check. A baby polka dotted chocobo. Check. Cursed ring, worn for 256 consecutive battles. Check. Resurrection materia. Check. 1/35 scale soldier dolls. Check."

"Action figures," said Cloud. "And it's a Paladin Ring now."

"And the Outerspacium. Check, check, and double check.," said Yuffie. "That's it. What now?"

"We arrange them around the altar," said Cloud. "Like this."

Cloud handed Yuffie a scrap of paper.
"'For a good time, call 555-HOTT,'" Yuffie read. "What?"

Cloud blushed. "Wrong paper. Sorry. This one."

"Ah, better," said Yuffie. "Wasn't that other one…"

"Never mind that one," said Cloud.
"That was your number, wasn't it?" demanded Yuffie.

"I didn't write that," Cloud lied. "Tifa did."

"Really?" Yuffie gave Cloud the biggest, cutest puppy dog face she could muster. "She's such a mean old hag. You're glad to be rid of her, aren't you?"

"Quite," said Cloud. "Now, do you understand the diagram?"

"I think I do," said Yuffie. "I just need to put everything in order, and then you stand at the altar. Meanwhile, the beautiful maiden, moi, must wait below with the Resurrection materia. At the stroke of midnight, I activate the materia, and you chant these funny sounding words. Then the A.E.R.O.S. appears on the altar. Ooh, I bet I'll kiss it when it appear."

"Not if I beat you to it," said Cloud. "In any case, we don't have much time to lose."

During the setup, Cloud couldn't help but glance at his watch every half minute or so. He could hardly believe that everything was falling into place.

"Sure glad we're in Midgar," said Yuffie. "Anywhere else, and I'd half expect a thunderstorm outside, and this is creepy enough as it is."

"Uh huh," said Cloud. "Sure. We've only got a minute now."

"I can't wait," said Yuffie. She found herself shivering from anticipation.

"Thirty seconds," said Cloud. "You got the materia?"

"Got it here, attached to the Conformer," said Yuffie, holding up her most prized shuriken.

"Great," said Cloud. "Twenty seconds."

Silence.
"Ten seconds. Nine seconds. Better start reading. Corpus delicto! Deputy dog! Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos! Mors de super!"

Nothing happened.

XXX

Hundreds of miles away, Tifa Lockheart-Strife chugged a glass of champagne. That was one of two things she felt like doing. She had done quite a bit of it, too. The bottle sitting on the table in front of her stood only half full (or to her, at the present, half empty), and the one on the floor beside the table was in two empty pieces. Tifa envied the bottle on the table; she felt entirely empty.

The second thing she felt like doing was to turn a note scribbled on a crumpled sheet of notebook paper over in her hand, repetitively and without any real end. Turning it over kept her from reading it, and as long as she didn't read it again, she found herself able to repress the urge to smash another piece of furniture. At times like these, she felt that her intense training with Zangan was both a blessing and a liability. Without it, she might not have been able to control her temper at all, but with it, her temper became more violent. Perhaps she should have finished the training instead of leaving just after learning how to kill things with nothing more than her sheer determination and a pair of spiked gauntlets.

The thought of spiked gauntlets actually sparked a memory of a third item on Tifa's to-do list: she wanted to find Cloud, ask him how he was doing, and then smash his face in, right in front of that giggling, no-account tramp flower girl.

XXX

"What up?" said Yuffie. "Is it a delayed reac—"

Before she could finish her sentence, the whole church began to shake. A deafening rumbling worked its way up from the depths of the earth below them, and parts of the floor began to shift over to one side. The noise steadily increased in volume.

Yuffie shouted something, and as best Cloud could make out from watching her mouth, Cloud decided she was either cursing loudly or practicing ordering filet mignon in French. He watched as she lost her footing, tumbled onto the floor, and crawled away as quickly as she could. It was a good thing she did, too; shortly after she got to the wall, a hole opened up where she had been standing when she used the materia. Out of the hole shot countless brilliant rays of green light.

Lifestream? Cloud thought.

At once, the noise subsided. Cloud noted that Yuffie was, indeed, cursing, not ordering food, but he found his attention diverted by the spectacle in the middle of the room. A soft, melodious chiming, like that of some metal percussion instrument, had replaced the rumbling. The music sounded vaguely familiar.

Then, where Yuffie had been standing, beams of Lifestream began to gather and solidify. At least, that's how they appeared. First, they became a shapeless mass of light, and then they began to take form. Humanoid form. Cloud's eyes widened, and his mouth gaped open.

"That's not… That's not A.E.R.O.S.!" said Yuffie, but Cloud almost didn't hear her.

"Aeris?" said Cloud.

The humanoid form turned from a bright green to a pitch black shadow of a figure, and it floated up to the altar. Cloud quickly climbed on top and threw his arms around it.

"Cloud?" said Yuffie. "What's going on?"

But Cloud ignored her completely. As soon as he found himself able to, he took the dark figure's head in his hands and pressed his lips up against where he guessed the figure's lips ought to be.

"Cloud!" Yuffie's face flushed. "Cloud, you…!"

Cloud continued to embrace the new arrival. "I've missed you, oh, I've missed you," he said.

"Cloud, what are you doing?" said Yuffie. "It didn't work."

"Yes it did," Cloud mumbled.

"That's not A.E.R.O.S. at all," said Yuffie.

Cloud continued his kiss.

"And who the heck is that?" Yuffie demanded. "Cloud, what's up with you?"

"That's Aeris," Cloud said while coming up for air. "You know."

"Doesn't look like materia to me," said Yuffie.

"No, it's…" Cloud began, but Yuffie stalked up the altar and cut him off.

"I don't even recognize this… person," said Yuffie.

And with that, the moment of dawning realization struck Cloud like Thor's hammer.

"That's not materia at all," said Cloud, backpedaling as best he could. It took all of his wit to try to find a way to keep Yuffie from getting any angrier than he figured she already had. Without thinking, he shoved the figure in front of him off the altar and then pulled Yuffie next to him.

"Uh…" said Cloud. "Yuffie, quick, kiss me."

She obliged, but only for a second.

"Oh, good," said Cloud. "You were much better. And who in tarnation is that?"

The two peered down at whoever was on the floor. It was a man. Moreover, it was a man wearing a green and blue military uniform, obviously foreign from the look of it, a yellow mohawk of hair, and a very, very surprised look on his face. The man attempted to speak.

"What a way of greeting you have in this world," he said. "Allow me to show you how my people say hello for the first time."

The man stood up, dusted some gravel off of his clothes, climbed the altar, and extended his hand.

"You have done well to revive me. I am General Leo," he said as Cloud returned the handshake. "Perhaps you've heard of me."

Cloud and Yuffie groaned in unison. Leo looked puzzled

"What, did I do something wrong?"