More chappies! Hoo-rah :)

hurkydoesntknow: Very good game. I've beaten it twice. Unfortunately, Deranged Fangirl Number Two has beaten it four times, so that's another thing I haven't beaten her at... :counts on fingers:

DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately for me, I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Or Tales of Symphonia. Otherwise, Sheena would be cheating on Lloyd with Sora. And Zelos would be making out with Kairi. And Regal would have Wakka's hair.

The Crazies and the Loonies and the... Other Crazies

Part VIII - The Story of Insanity, Part Two-Point-Oh

Previously...

Colette approached the seal, but a gigantic, flame-red tiger jumped out from it and attacked!

The flame-red tiger extended its claws and impaled Colette... or at least, it would have if this Fic wasn't PG-rated, and no character (except the bad people) was allowed to die. So, because of the rating, it accidentally jumped over her and landed on its back in front of Riku, who used Dark Firaga on it, swiftly killing the monster. The beast disappeared with a flash of darkness, a puff of black smoke, and a loud farting noise.

"Wasn't me," commented Lloyd, but then a flash of bright light and an angelic melody interrupted his scapegoating.

The author, manifested as an angel known only as "Remiel", appeared in a giant cloud of angelic golden dust.

"Father!" Colette exclaimed happily.

The author coughed and said, "Yes, my daughter," before muttering under his breath, "even if only in a satirical sense."

"What was that?" Riku said shrewdly.

"I said..." the author answered, "'Yes, my daughter, even if my sight's worse than long ago-ence.'"

"Yah..." Riku muttered sarcastically.

"Anyhoo," the author began, "You've released a seal, whoop-dee-tap-dancing-doo, blah blah yada yada, the next one is in a pure place full of water."

"Okay!" Colette exclaimed excitedly.

The author squinted to read Kratos' bad handwriting on the cue cards he was holding up. He made a mental note to self: Discreetly hide somewhere that Kratos has good handwriting. "Oh, and... Krypton? Kr... cr... Cruxis w- wants me to give you these." Two long, shapeless blobs of light came down from the heavens and attached themselves to Colette's shoulderblades, before transforming into wings.

"FASCINATING!" Raine exclaimed. "If I put Colette on her back, like this," she pushed Colette over, and the wings stopped her back from hitting the ground, thus making her horizontal on the ground, "I can iron her clothes without taking them off!"

"Professor?" Colette asked. "All the blood's going to my head!"

"Oh, OK, Colette," Raine said, flipping Colette back over.

"Hello-oo!" the author said. "I'm still here!"

"..." everyone said, embarrassed.

"I have one last thing to say before I leave: Ignore all blondes, they're stupid."

"Okay!" Colette exclaimed. "I'll ignore all blondes!"

"Colette," Raine muttered into her ear, "you are a blonde."

"Oh..." Colette murmured. "So does that mean I should ignore myself?"

"..." everyone except Colette mumbled.

"Anyways, I've gotta go," the author said, "or else I'll be late for some vague task that you'll never hear about again. See ya, suckers!"

"What?" Riku asked.

"Did I say 'suckers'?" the author said. "I meant... um... Smuckers. Because I love P-B-and-J sandwiches!" And with that, he immediately disappeared.

"He said something about a pure place full of water," Kratos noted innocently.

"Yeah, but where could that be?" Lloyd said. His face screwed up as if he was thinking.

Suddenly, a piece of paper appeared in a giant cloud of angelic golden dust. Raine picked it up and read, "P.S. If you want to see me again, go to that place... you know, the place with the thing... the place with the thing and the person."

"He must mean Thoda Geyser," Kratos said thoughtfully.

"How do you know?" Raine asked.

"Er... because... it's the place... and it has that thing... and the person..." Kratos mumbled.

"Oh, OK," Raine said gullibly. "Let's go there!"

Meanwhile, in Triet... ((cue ominous music))

Meanwhile, in Triet (cue ominous music), a blonde guy was walking around talking to people.

"Have you seen a kid? About 15 years old? This tall? With silver hair?" he'd say.

"Yep," the person would say, or perhaps "No" or "Get out of my way," "Shut up," or a series of expletives which cannot be repeated.

Suddenly, the kid, about 15 years old, this tall, with silver hair, walked into Triet, accompanied by two other silver-haired people, a mercenary, a stupid blonde, and someone incorrectly labelled as "the main character of the game Tales of Symphonia," when the main character SHOULD have been a certain black-haired female hottie.

The blonde guy walked up to Riku. "Have you seen a kid? About 15 years old? This tall? With silver hair?" he asked.

"...Uh, that's me," Riku pointed out.

"Yeah," the guy said. "I was... I was just seeing if you knew who you are. Anyway, I'm Cloud... the author sent me to come get you. Something about writing himself into a plot cul-de-sac or something like that."

"Okay," Riku said cautiously. "Where are you taking me?"

"Oh, wherever," Cloud said vaguely. "He said something about there being a plot point at Traverse Town..."

"Okay, let's go," Riku said. "How do we get there?"

"Don't you do that vortex-of-time-and-space thingie with your Soul Eater?" Cloud asked.

"Oh, yeah, forgot," Riku replied, before doing the vortex-of-time-and-space thingie with his Soul Eater. He and Cloud stepped through... and landed in a giant bowl of chocolate pudding.

"See?" Riku said. "Wherever I want to go, it takes me somewhere else!"

"Well," Cloud thought aloud, "just tell it to take us anywhere EXCEPT Traverse Town."

"Nah," Riku replied. "That'd never work. Say, let's just go to random worlds until we end up in Traverse Town!"

"Okay," Cloud said. "My idea was a dumb one, anyway."

And not-so-soon, they reached Traverse Town...

To be continued...

So, how you like? Good, ain't it? And yes, I do have some vague idea of a possible actual plot... somewhere in my brain. Or maybe I put it in my kneecap. I'm not sure.

Oh, and lately I've noticed the chappies tend to be around 1000 words apiece... so that means that by the time I get to Part X, I'll have a 10,000-word story! Yay :)