hurkydoesntknow: Er... it basically means that I took on the appearance of Remiel for the purposes of a fictional story. :P

Hurky was the only one who reviewed:(

DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, I don't own anything in here. Not even the word cul-de-sac.

WARNING: Included in this Part will be innuendo of YAOI! If you have a problem with Yaoi, then don't read this. Simple as that.

The Crazies and the Loonies and the... Other Crazies

Part IX - The Plot Point At Traverse Town

Previously, Cloud came to take Riku to Traverse Town because the author had said he wrote himself into a plot cul-de-sac...

"You know," Riku said, "you didn't take me to Traverse Town. I took you."

"Yeah, I know," Cloud knew.

"Who are you?" a voice said behind them. Riku and Cloud turned to see a man with long, dark brown hair and grey eyes.

"Er... I'm Riku," said Riku.

"I'm... I'm..." Cloud stammered.

"You're Cloud," Riku informed him.

"Yeah, what he said," replied Cloud.

"I'm-" the man began, but then a young, black-haired girl walked up behind the man. "Hey, Squall!" she exclaimed.

"It's Leon," Leon growled.

"Le-oon," murmured Cloud under his breath, extending the name erotically.

"Hi! I'm Yuffie, the greatest female ninja ever!" Yuffie exclaimed proudly.

"...And there have been how many female ninjas?" Riku asked shrewdly.

"Er... uh..." Yuffie stammered, then coughed, sounding suspiciously like "three".

"What? I couldn't hear you," Leon teased.

"Three, okay!" Yuffie cried. "But I'm the best out of all of them!"

"Not so hard," Riku said under his breath.

"WHAT?" Yuffie yelled.

"WHAT'S ALL THE ----IN' RACKET OUT THERE?" a voice shouted from inside a shop. "BE ----IN' QUIET!"

"Who was that?" Riku whispered.

"That's Cid Highwind," Leon informed them, not bothering to keep his voice down. "Don't worry, his bark's much worse than his bite."

"DIDN'T YOU ----IN' HEAR ME?" Cid shouted. "BE... ----IN'... QUIET!"

"Rather colorful vocabulary," Riku noted.

"Yeah," Leon said, before raising his voice: "But if he keeps complaining he can talk to my Gunblade!"

"----IN' SHUT UP, SQUALL!" Cid shouted. "YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT ----IN' HOMICIDAL ENOUGH TO USE THAT ----IN' GUNBLADE ON ANYTHING BUT ----IN' HEARTLESS!"

"IT'S LEON!" Leon shouted back, then sighed, "We'd better leave, he'll never give in." He turned to walk past Cid's shop - breaking the window with his elbow, ahem, accidentally - and exited the First District, quickly followed by the others.

Riku, Cloud, Leon, Yuffie, and a woman named Aerith (another of Leon's friends) all gathered in the Secret Waterway, a place beneath the town that smelled like... you guessed it, a sewer.

"Ugh," Riku said, holding his nose. "It smells like a sewer in here!"

"Shut up," Leon commanded forcefully. "We're only figments of an author's imagination, inspired by groupings of billions of multicolored polygons. We can't smell."

"Oh, yeah..." Riku remembered. "But it looks like it smells like a sewer."

"Shut up," Aerith commanded. "We're figments. We can't see."

"Well, then..." Riku murmured. "Then it feels like it looks like it smells like a sewer!"

"We can't feel, we're figments," Yuffie reminded him.

"'K, it tastes like it feels like it looks like it smells like a sewer!" Riku exclaimed.

"We're figments-" Cloud said.

"Yeah, yeah, we can't taste," Riku sighed.

"No," Leon said. "Actually we can. It's just that sewers don't exist in the imagination. We're figments, so we cannot use restrooms, so there is no need for a sewer."

Riku sighed. "You guys are so annoyi-"

"You can't sigh, you're a figment," Leon sighed.

"You just did," Riku replied shrewdly.

"It's only a descriptive verb when used that way. It's not a true verb," Leon replied smugly.

"So what are we here for, anyway?" Aerith asked.

"The author said something about a plot point," Cloud muttered darkly.

Suddenly, parts of the rocky ceiling began to fall, trapping everyone. "Is everyone OK?" Riku called; he was trapped alone, with the rocky walls on three sides and rocks fallen on the fourth side.

"I'm OK," Aerith replied. "Yuffie's with me, but she's unconscious."

"Leon and I are OK," Cloud said. "Can anyone get to the exit into the Alleyway, or into Merlin's house?"

"No," replied Aerith and Riku simultaneously.

"So we're stuck here until Merlin comes down here, or something," Leon growled unpleasantly. "This is going to be a long night..."

To be continued...

Yes, I've finally added some romance into this fic. I may or may not add on to the romantic end of the fic, depending on you guys' reactions. And for those of you who did not notice the romance... shame on you. :P

And BTW, I've begun another story, a Tales of Symphonia one, by the name of Saif Al Jabbar, which should be uploaded to soon, I can promise you that. Before the next Part of Crazies. And the updates of both will be getting slower and slower, since I've just started the new school year (8th grade... whee... -.-').