Chapter 10
Meghan and Sean got home a week later. Felicity still had not rented the studio yet, as they had determined it would be better if Ben saw it first. She was positive he would love it, though. Meghan and Sean were shocked when she told them she and Ben would be living together, and Sean was really quite worked up because he was losing a tenant. But Meghan told him he was mostly upset because his best friend was moving out. Felicity assured him that Ben would still play basketball with him and that they would all still hang out. It was going to be their senior year, and she was excited about their future, but she wanted their friendships to remain as strong as ever.
It wasn't long before Meghan figured out what was going on with Felicity, she kept eyeing her strangely and asking her if she had finally smoked some weed. Then it hit her.
"I know what it is! You and Ben got married! You eloped! Or you are engaged or something," she said one afternoon as they watched a movie together.
"What? No, Ben and I did not get married. Don't be silly," Felicity replied, trying to deflect her a bit, but she was unsuccessful.
"So, where is it then?" she asked pointedly.
"What?"
"What do you mean what? The ring, dammit. I want to see it, right now," she insisted.
"Meghan, I can't believe you. There is no ring, just leave me alone," she said, still trying to keep their secret.
"Come on, I know when you are lying and you are lying right now, it is so obvious. You can't hide it from me anyway, I will just go search your room," she said as she acted as if she was going to go into their room.
"What? No, no, don't do that! Okay, okay. Yes, we are engaged. But you can't tell anyone, not even Sean. Ben wants to tell everyone together, so you have to keep this to yourself. Can I trust you to do that?"
"Hmmm...only if I get to see the ring," she replied with a smirk.
"All right, hold on. It's here," Felicity said, as she pulled the necklace she was wearing out from beneath her shirt, revealing the ring at the end of it.
"God, you are such a sap. Wearing it around your heart, yuck," Meghan teased. But as she looked closer at the ring she saw how beautiful it was and could only smile. "Wow, Ben did good. This is great."
"Yeah, I know. Isn't it perfect?" Felicity said with a big smile on her face, revealing her happiness fully now.
"Ugh. Stop the smiling, soon you will be crying or something," she said, making a face of disgust. "Yes, it's nice. And you will be walking around showing it off to everyone soon enough, making me want to puke."
"Come on, Meghan. Admit it, you're a little bit jealous. You and Sean, you guys could get married someday too."
"What? There is no way I am marrying that idiot. He is not even remotely marriage material, and besides, I am not the marrying type," she said seriously.
"Oh Meghan, give it up, you know that you love Sean," Felicity said as she rolled her eyes and shook her head at her friend.
"Sean is great, yes, but marriage? No way," she said, then got quiet, thinking for a minute. "But wait a minute, with Ben moving out, maybe I could move in here and save some rent money."
"There you go, move in so you can save rent money. God, Meghan you are awful. Why can't you just say you'd like to move in here so you can live with your boyfriend?" Felicity said as she rolled her eyes yet again.
"Well, that is not going to happen. There is no way he'd want that."
Actually, later that same day Sean announced to them both that he wanted Meghan to move in with him once Ben moved out. Rather than argue with him for once, Meghan just smirked and said, "It's about time you asked."
Ben worked his butt off the last week of classes and observations. He learned so much, he felt as if his brain was going to explode. It was intense work, but he was so proud of himself when he learned that he more than passed his tests and practical exams. He had to take another round of testing once he returned to New York, to complete his requirements for licensing in that state. He couldn't believe that he would actually have a license that would enable him to have a real job. The idea kind of scared him, but at the same time really excited him. He had even asked his instructors their suggestions about getting additional training so he could maybe help in hospital ERs. He was nervous about looking into it, especially of what Felicity would think, but he was determined to do it. He was so happy to be returning home to Felicity the next day. She expected him the day after that, but he was going to surprise her and come home a day early. He could not wait to get home and they would go right into his bedroom and make up for all the lost time. He didn't know how he had survived another summer apart from her. But, he had made it. And he knew a big part of the reason for that was that she encouraged him to do this paramedic training, and he was determined to show her that he could achieve it and make himself a better person. He had always wanted to be with her, but never felt he was quite good enough. Even in high school, before they had actually met, he had wanted to ask her out. He thought her so beautiful, and so smart. But, he thought himself a dumb idiot, so he had never asked her. But he hadn't needed to, since she followed him to New York. He smiled just thinking about it; he had been so shocked, but inwardly delighted. He had no idea how he had gotten so lucky, but he was certain he would spend the rest of his life making her as happy as she made him.
He felt he had been given another chance at life, at being truly happy. And that was something he had never thought he would be, growing up surrounded by so much turmoil. He cringed just thinking about his dad, and how he had treated his mother and him. He knew he needed to get over his anger towards him, and the group had helped him a lot with that, but he still felt so much hate towards him. And he wasn't sure that it would ever go away completely. He wanted to be able to close the door on that part of his life entirely, but that wasn't really possible. He knew that he needed to forgive him to truly be able to move on. The group had taught him forgiveness could be done, when you are ready, but you never forget. There was a lot of truth to that, he knew, but he wasn't sure if he was even at forgiveness yet.
Ben smiled, thinking about how Felicity had found the ability to forgive him and given him another chance. The day he had given her their "time machine." He could not remember ever being so happy as when she came to the loft that night, and he had opened the door to see her beautiful face. He had been afraid she would change her mind, but there she was, and he was certain that he would never forget the way he felt in that moment. His feet were glued to the floor for a minute, and Felicity had to ask if it was okay if she came in. He had laughed, and let her in. She teased him that she had brought muffins, just as they had planned for their picnic at Bryant Park. He was nervous when he showed her how he had set up the movie on the roof, he wasn't sure that she would like it. But her big smile told him otherwise. They had an amazing time on the roof, and when she had kissed him, he felt as if he was right where he was supposed to be. It all made sense to him then, and he knew he would love her forever. He remembered how he had a hard time concentrating on the movie after their kiss, he kept looking over at her and wanting to kiss her again. He finally took her hand in his and wrapped his arms around her, with her sitting between his legs. They sat there watching the movie, happy to be together again. Every once in awhile, he would nuzzle her neck and she would giggle. And they would kiss, and kiss some more. There wasn't much concentrated movie watching, but neither one of them cared, they were so lost in each other. Then they went to his room. He was at first shy, as he didn't know if she wanted to spend the night or not. But he really wanted her to, and then it just seemed to happen. They spent the night just talking and though he didn't sleep a wink that night, he didn't care- he was just happy to have her in his arms again. To laugh, and tickle her, and kiss her, and touch her. He sighed, just thinking about touching her. God, I can't wait to see her again, he thought.
Felicity came home from work the next day exhausted and ready for a nice relaxing evening of take out food and a movie. Meghan and Sean left her a note saying they were out to dinner and a movie with some friend, and would not be home until late. She actually loved the idea of some quiet time alone, it was so rare and she looked forward to falling asleep on the sofa while watching a movie on TV. She ordered her take out Chinese, and sat down on the sofa to leaf through some magazines. Of course, she had to glance over her bridal magazines again, still looking for the perfect dress. After she ate her food, she flipped through the channels, looking for a good movie to watch. Just then, she heard a key turn in the lock. She thought to herself that it was earlier than she thought Meghan and Sean would be home, and she was startled when she saw Noel come into the loft.
"Oh, hey. I hoped you'd be here," he said as he entered the loft, smiling at her as if they had not ever been estranged.
"What-what are you doing here? Why do you still have a key?" she asked nervously as she stood up off the sofa.
"I came to drop it off actually and to get the last few things I have here. And I was hoping you'd be here so we could talk," he replied.
"Noel, we have nothing to say to each other. I told you that I can't talk to you now, you have to know that I just can't...I can't forget what you did," she said with determination in her voice.
"I know, I know. But, it's been awhile since we talked, and I really just wanted this chance to apologize. I mean, I know you didn't want me to kiss you, and I shouldn't have, but you were there, and we had such a nice dinner, I just couldn't help it. You have to know that I still love you, that I want to be with you," he said as he moved closer to her.
Felicity backed away, moving so the table was between them. "Noel, I can't do this. You can't talk to me like this, I love Ben and you know that. You and I, we were only friends, that is all that I wanted. We went through this already, and I thought you were okay with that."
"Well, I am not okay with it, all right? I mean, you and Ben, you aren't going to make it. I mean, he took off with Avery, you can't believe that he is actually going to stay with you forever. He isn't the one you should be with, I am. I will take care of you, and we will be happy."
"Noel! Stop it! I don't want to be with anyone but Ben. And you can't talk that way about him, he is my boyfriend," she said, getting angrier and more uncomfortable by the minute.
"Look, this isn't coming out the way I meant it to. I am just saying give me a chance. We can be just friends again and then you will see that it all work out just like I say it is going to. Ben doesn't love you the way that I do, he doesn't. I will take care of you. And I would never go off with someone else," he said.
"Noel, I can't even believe you! You-you aren't even listening to me. Look, you need to leave. I can't talk to you anymore. Just leave," she said seriously and pointed at the door. "Just leave the key on the table. I will give it to Sean."
Noel just stood there for a minute, looking at her, as if he was trying to will her into his point of view. But she stood her ground and said again, "I want you to leave." He turned to put the key on the table, and then looked at her again.
"I really think you are making a mistake. What we have is so special, you can't let that go. I don't think that you want to," he said.
Just then, the door opened again. And this time it was Ben. The huge grin that was on his face as he opened the door quickly disappeared when he saw who was in the room with her.
Meghan and Sean got home a week later. Felicity still had not rented the studio yet, as they had determined it would be better if Ben saw it first. She was positive he would love it, though. Meghan and Sean were shocked when she told them she and Ben would be living together, and Sean was really quite worked up because he was losing a tenant. But Meghan told him he was mostly upset because his best friend was moving out. Felicity assured him that Ben would still play basketball with him and that they would all still hang out. It was going to be their senior year, and she was excited about their future, but she wanted their friendships to remain as strong as ever.
It wasn't long before Meghan figured out what was going on with Felicity, she kept eyeing her strangely and asking her if she had finally smoked some weed. Then it hit her.
"I know what it is! You and Ben got married! You eloped! Or you are engaged or something," she said one afternoon as they watched a movie together.
"What? No, Ben and I did not get married. Don't be silly," Felicity replied, trying to deflect her a bit, but she was unsuccessful.
"So, where is it then?" she asked pointedly.
"What?"
"What do you mean what? The ring, dammit. I want to see it, right now," she insisted.
"Meghan, I can't believe you. There is no ring, just leave me alone," she said, still trying to keep their secret.
"Come on, I know when you are lying and you are lying right now, it is so obvious. You can't hide it from me anyway, I will just go search your room," she said as she acted as if she was going to go into their room.
"What? No, no, don't do that! Okay, okay. Yes, we are engaged. But you can't tell anyone, not even Sean. Ben wants to tell everyone together, so you have to keep this to yourself. Can I trust you to do that?"
"Hmmm...only if I get to see the ring," she replied with a smirk.
"All right, hold on. It's here," Felicity said, as she pulled the necklace she was wearing out from beneath her shirt, revealing the ring at the end of it.
"God, you are such a sap. Wearing it around your heart, yuck," Meghan teased. But as she looked closer at the ring she saw how beautiful it was and could only smile. "Wow, Ben did good. This is great."
"Yeah, I know. Isn't it perfect?" Felicity said with a big smile on her face, revealing her happiness fully now.
"Ugh. Stop the smiling, soon you will be crying or something," she said, making a face of disgust. "Yes, it's nice. And you will be walking around showing it off to everyone soon enough, making me want to puke."
"Come on, Meghan. Admit it, you're a little bit jealous. You and Sean, you guys could get married someday too."
"What? There is no way I am marrying that idiot. He is not even remotely marriage material, and besides, I am not the marrying type," she said seriously.
"Oh Meghan, give it up, you know that you love Sean," Felicity said as she rolled her eyes and shook her head at her friend.
"Sean is great, yes, but marriage? No way," she said, then got quiet, thinking for a minute. "But wait a minute, with Ben moving out, maybe I could move in here and save some rent money."
"There you go, move in so you can save rent money. God, Meghan you are awful. Why can't you just say you'd like to move in here so you can live with your boyfriend?" Felicity said as she rolled her eyes yet again.
"Well, that is not going to happen. There is no way he'd want that."
Actually, later that same day Sean announced to them both that he wanted Meghan to move in with him once Ben moved out. Rather than argue with him for once, Meghan just smirked and said, "It's about time you asked."
Ben worked his butt off the last week of classes and observations. He learned so much, he felt as if his brain was going to explode. It was intense work, but he was so proud of himself when he learned that he more than passed his tests and practical exams. He had to take another round of testing once he returned to New York, to complete his requirements for licensing in that state. He couldn't believe that he would actually have a license that would enable him to have a real job. The idea kind of scared him, but at the same time really excited him. He had even asked his instructors their suggestions about getting additional training so he could maybe help in hospital ERs. He was nervous about looking into it, especially of what Felicity would think, but he was determined to do it. He was so happy to be returning home to Felicity the next day. She expected him the day after that, but he was going to surprise her and come home a day early. He could not wait to get home and they would go right into his bedroom and make up for all the lost time. He didn't know how he had survived another summer apart from her. But, he had made it. And he knew a big part of the reason for that was that she encouraged him to do this paramedic training, and he was determined to show her that he could achieve it and make himself a better person. He had always wanted to be with her, but never felt he was quite good enough. Even in high school, before they had actually met, he had wanted to ask her out. He thought her so beautiful, and so smart. But, he thought himself a dumb idiot, so he had never asked her. But he hadn't needed to, since she followed him to New York. He smiled just thinking about it; he had been so shocked, but inwardly delighted. He had no idea how he had gotten so lucky, but he was certain he would spend the rest of his life making her as happy as she made him.
He felt he had been given another chance at life, at being truly happy. And that was something he had never thought he would be, growing up surrounded by so much turmoil. He cringed just thinking about his dad, and how he had treated his mother and him. He knew he needed to get over his anger towards him, and the group had helped him a lot with that, but he still felt so much hate towards him. And he wasn't sure that it would ever go away completely. He wanted to be able to close the door on that part of his life entirely, but that wasn't really possible. He knew that he needed to forgive him to truly be able to move on. The group had taught him forgiveness could be done, when you are ready, but you never forget. There was a lot of truth to that, he knew, but he wasn't sure if he was even at forgiveness yet.
Ben smiled, thinking about how Felicity had found the ability to forgive him and given him another chance. The day he had given her their "time machine." He could not remember ever being so happy as when she came to the loft that night, and he had opened the door to see her beautiful face. He had been afraid she would change her mind, but there she was, and he was certain that he would never forget the way he felt in that moment. His feet were glued to the floor for a minute, and Felicity had to ask if it was okay if she came in. He had laughed, and let her in. She teased him that she had brought muffins, just as they had planned for their picnic at Bryant Park. He was nervous when he showed her how he had set up the movie on the roof, he wasn't sure that she would like it. But her big smile told him otherwise. They had an amazing time on the roof, and when she had kissed him, he felt as if he was right where he was supposed to be. It all made sense to him then, and he knew he would love her forever. He remembered how he had a hard time concentrating on the movie after their kiss, he kept looking over at her and wanting to kiss her again. He finally took her hand in his and wrapped his arms around her, with her sitting between his legs. They sat there watching the movie, happy to be together again. Every once in awhile, he would nuzzle her neck and she would giggle. And they would kiss, and kiss some more. There wasn't much concentrated movie watching, but neither one of them cared, they were so lost in each other. Then they went to his room. He was at first shy, as he didn't know if she wanted to spend the night or not. But he really wanted her to, and then it just seemed to happen. They spent the night just talking and though he didn't sleep a wink that night, he didn't care- he was just happy to have her in his arms again. To laugh, and tickle her, and kiss her, and touch her. He sighed, just thinking about touching her. God, I can't wait to see her again, he thought.
Felicity came home from work the next day exhausted and ready for a nice relaxing evening of take out food and a movie. Meghan and Sean left her a note saying they were out to dinner and a movie with some friend, and would not be home until late. She actually loved the idea of some quiet time alone, it was so rare and she looked forward to falling asleep on the sofa while watching a movie on TV. She ordered her take out Chinese, and sat down on the sofa to leaf through some magazines. Of course, she had to glance over her bridal magazines again, still looking for the perfect dress. After she ate her food, she flipped through the channels, looking for a good movie to watch. Just then, she heard a key turn in the lock. She thought to herself that it was earlier than she thought Meghan and Sean would be home, and she was startled when she saw Noel come into the loft.
"Oh, hey. I hoped you'd be here," he said as he entered the loft, smiling at her as if they had not ever been estranged.
"What-what are you doing here? Why do you still have a key?" she asked nervously as she stood up off the sofa.
"I came to drop it off actually and to get the last few things I have here. And I was hoping you'd be here so we could talk," he replied.
"Noel, we have nothing to say to each other. I told you that I can't talk to you now, you have to know that I just can't...I can't forget what you did," she said with determination in her voice.
"I know, I know. But, it's been awhile since we talked, and I really just wanted this chance to apologize. I mean, I know you didn't want me to kiss you, and I shouldn't have, but you were there, and we had such a nice dinner, I just couldn't help it. You have to know that I still love you, that I want to be with you," he said as he moved closer to her.
Felicity backed away, moving so the table was between them. "Noel, I can't do this. You can't talk to me like this, I love Ben and you know that. You and I, we were only friends, that is all that I wanted. We went through this already, and I thought you were okay with that."
"Well, I am not okay with it, all right? I mean, you and Ben, you aren't going to make it. I mean, he took off with Avery, you can't believe that he is actually going to stay with you forever. He isn't the one you should be with, I am. I will take care of you, and we will be happy."
"Noel! Stop it! I don't want to be with anyone but Ben. And you can't talk that way about him, he is my boyfriend," she said, getting angrier and more uncomfortable by the minute.
"Look, this isn't coming out the way I meant it to. I am just saying give me a chance. We can be just friends again and then you will see that it all work out just like I say it is going to. Ben doesn't love you the way that I do, he doesn't. I will take care of you. And I would never go off with someone else," he said.
"Noel, I can't even believe you! You-you aren't even listening to me. Look, you need to leave. I can't talk to you anymore. Just leave," she said seriously and pointed at the door. "Just leave the key on the table. I will give it to Sean."
Noel just stood there for a minute, looking at her, as if he was trying to will her into his point of view. But she stood her ground and said again, "I want you to leave." He turned to put the key on the table, and then looked at her again.
"I really think you are making a mistake. What we have is so special, you can't let that go. I don't think that you want to," he said.
Just then, the door opened again. And this time it was Ben. The huge grin that was on his face as he opened the door quickly disappeared when he saw who was in the room with her.