Chapter 16: Forgiven

The nurse removed the needle from Kenshin's arm and placed it on the medical tray beside her.

"That should top your morphine up for a while, I'll be back in a few hours for some more tests to see how you're doing. Now I don't want you moving from this bed until we determine how stable your lung is, if you need anything, just call."

She smiled at Kenshin and nodded politely to Sano, before picking up the medical tray and walking towards the door, opening it, flashing another bedside smile at them, and closing it behind her. The moment the door shut and they were left alone Sano leant over and pressed his lips to Kenshin's, who was sitting up slightly in the raised hospital bed.

Since Kenshin had opened his eyes all Sano had wanted to do was kiss him, to make it all seem real, that he really had just woken up and spoke Sano's name. The doctors had to physically push Sano out the room when Kenshin had awoken from his coma, so they could get on with helping him. Sano had stood in the waiting room with his face right up against the glass peering in on Kenshin and the approving nods that the doctors were giving each other, indicating he was going to be okay.

It had only been a few moments ago that the doctors had left and one nurse remained, who indicated to Sano that he could come back in, a smile on his face so huge that the nurse even giggled at his happiness.

So now, finally, Sano had Kenshin back in his arms, the gentle kiss he was giving him much more different than the last kiss he had given him, a kiss at the time he thought would be goodbye. Yet, even though he was so happy to kiss him once again, Sano opened his eye and frowned, because Kenshin wasn't kissing back.

He stopped and pulled back slowly, looking at Kenshin who was looking away, not meeting Sano's eyes.

"Hey, Kenshin….what's wrong? You in pain?"

Kenshin smiled, a sad smile, staring at the white sheets covering him. "It's funny." He said, "I could hear your voice, I could hear you calling out to me. It was all I needed to come back but….but now I'm here….I don't think I can look at you." His eyes seemed to shine as he spoke, looking anywhere but at Sano, "I don't deserve you, and…. I can't understand why you're here, that I can't."

He smiled again, as if trying to cover up this pain, but Sano certainly did not return that smile.

"What are you talking about?" Sano said sternly, "I'd told you I loved you didn't I?"

"I know but…. I don't understand how you can." His voice seemed so small as he spoke, "After everything you know about me now, what I did in my past, how you've seen me fight, the fact that I mixed you up in all of this for my own personal happiness of being with you, I was just being so selfish. You were almost killed, and it was my fault." Sano frowned with sadness, seeing tears gathering in Kenshin's eyes, "If I'd never kissed you that day, if I hadn't…. if I hadn't agreed to go on that date with you, if I had just kept driving that day when you'd asked me to stay instead of turning around, I had so many opportunities to stop but I didn't and I risked your life because of it, I-"

Kenshin didn't get a chance to continue, because he suddenly found a hand at the back of head, and Sano's lips on his own once again. He stared back into Sano's open eyes, stern eyes, ones that wanted to get across a point.

"You say it like that's all a bad thing." He said, smiling when he pulled away, Kenshin blinking back at him "Since I met you, I've changed, I know I have. I'm nowhere near as violent around other people as I used to be, because every time I look at you any violent thought completely disappears. Heck even my grades have gone up because I know that if I study harder it makes you smile, and I always want to see you smile." Sano smiled warmly at him, leaning over and kissing his forehead. "I have never been more in love with anyone in my life," he whispered gently, "and I'll say it as many times as you want if that's what you want to hear." He pulled back again, gently brushing a few stray strands of hair away from Kenshin's still worried looking face. "And I can't apologise enough for leaving you when you told me about your past," Sano said guilty, now his turn to look away, "I shouldn't have. Even when I was running a part of me was telling me I should go back, but I didn't listen. I'm the one that caused you this pain. If I'd just stayed with you, if I said I loved you instead of running away, you would never have had to fight Saito, and you wouldn't be here in this hospital. It's not your fault that he nearly shot me, it was my fault for putting you in that position in the first place. I'm the one that caused this to happen, not you." Sano looked back up at Kenshin, a sad smile on his face, "If it's forgiveness for your past that you're looking for, I can forgive a thousand times. But…can you forgive me?"

Kenshin could do nothing but stare at Sano, the tears that were threatening to fall before now gone as his mind was now in shock. Sano felt guilty for running away from him? After all the pain Kenshin caused him, all the lies and deception, the only thing Sano was worrying about was that he hurt Kenshin by running away?

"Sano…" Sano looked at Kenshin, nervousness in his eyes for Kenshin's answer, but all Kenshin could do was smile affectionately. "Sano, you are hopeless that you are." He said chuckling, "If that is all you are worrying about, then yes, of course I can forgive you, not that I think there's anything to forgive."

A wide grin spread across Sano's face, "So that means we can still be together right?"

The smile on Kenshin's face slowly faded, and he looked back down at the white sheets, "That depends."

"Depends?" Sano blinked, his smile now equally disappeared, "On what?"

"As much as I want to believe your words… that you still love me, I don't think…. I don't think I can truly believe you, or anyone for that matter, until you hear everything. If you can still say that you love me after truly knowing every detail, then only then, will I stay." Sano watched him carefully as Kenshin looked at the shadows the trees were making on the wall in front of him from the light outside. "I want to tell you everything. No lies, no more secrets, just… I want to know that you know what happened to me."

A moment passed when neither of them said a word, but Sano soon leant over and kissed him gently once again, "Ok… I'll listen." He said, "And this time, I won't run away."

Kenshin looked at him, a sincere expression on his face, and he smiled, a small relief. "Thank you." He said softly, and he began to tell his tale.

"My parents sold me to the Yakuza, I've known that since I was very little. I grew up with Saito, teaching me how to use a sword and practically raising me. When I was only 9 years old I became a child assassin, working as one of the body guards for the Kyoto Boss Yoshida. I had killed so many people protecting him, but never once did it cross my mind that what I was doing was wrong. Being raised by the Yakuza, Saito had always taught me that killing people was okay to do. Killing was alright, it was hesitation and questioning orders that was wrong, so that's what I did. I killed. I never hesitated, and I never questioned the reasoning behind what I was doing."

Sano watched him quietly, listening to him pouring his heart out. Sano was scowling at himself inside so much for running away from Kenshin before. Kenshin didn't know what he was doing was wrong as a child. How could he? There was no one around him to say that killing was wrong, there was nothing but encouragement to kill. Childhood is the most important time for learning, and all Kenshin was taught was how to slice a sword through another human being.

"When I was 11 years old, the Tokyo Boss Takahashi suddenly approached Yoshida wanting to know more about his child assassins, saying that he was interested, so the two of them arranged a meeting place, the Ellisman Mansion. But Yoshida didn't want to share any of his assassins, and found it was the perfect opportunity to take over the Tokyo clan in a secret ambush. He gathered all of his assassins and had them hide around the mansion, waiting for the signal to kill Takahashi and any of his own guards. But before he gave the order, it seemed he wanted to show Takahashi just how obedient his child assassins were, just to show off, and that's when I…." Kenshin paused, eyes narrowing in sadness, "…that's when I killed my parents, Aoshi's father and….." again he paused, his left hand gripping the bed sheets, "…and my little sister….."

Sano's eyes went wide.

Little sister?

((( "May I introduce you to one of my child assassins, this is Kenshin Himura."

Takahashi and Yoshida walked out of the wooden doors underneath the balcony in the main entrance hall and stopped, each of their own bodyguards coming to a halt behind them.

In front of them standing by the elegantly flowing marble fountain, stood a young red headed boy, a sword at his side, and a piercing golden touch to his narrow eyes.

"Kenshin here I have to say I am very proud of." Yoshida continued, eyeing the still boy, "He has been an excellent bodyguard to myself, as well as following assassin orders without a single hesitation. The boy has been taught from near birth the meaning of loyalty and discipline, he has a heart of darkness and very impressive swordsman skills, personally taught by another one of my once child assassins Saito here." Yoshida nodded over to the 17 year old Saito standing behind him, but Takahashi frowned.

"That may be, but how can I be sure what you say is true? Surely you cannot just expect me to accept your word, prove to me this boy is as good as you say. After all he is but a child, he surely cannot match the skill of grown man"

Yoshida smiled, "But of course, I would not expect you to believe my word without a demonstration."

With a click of his fingers a door above them opened, and Takahashi listened to a woman's shouts and man's demands to let them go, as they were brought down the red carpeted stair case to their right, being guarded by four others with guns waiting to be used if needed.

"Let us go immediately!" the man was demanding, holding on to his wife as they were brought over to the two Yakuza bosses, "This is completely outrageous, what about our agreement?"

"You have no need for us anymore!" the woman shouted, cradling a baby in her arms, "Let us go!"

"Kenshin." Yoshida said loudly, a slight smirk on his lips.

The woman blinked, "Kenshin?" she whispered.

"Yes Sir?"

The woman seemed to freeze, her eyes wide, but it was her husband who turned to face the small boy first.

"….. my god….it…. it can't be…."

As the woman turned around, she looked upon the small red headed boy in front of her, the exact same shade of red as her own hair.

"Kenshin I'd like to introduce you to these two." Yoshida said, his eyes sparkling with what he was about to do, "They are your parents, the ones who sold you to us."

The narrow eyes of the young Kenshin seemed to widen, the last few rays of red emanating from the sunset outside coming down from the skylight above him.

"Excuse me Sir?" Kenshin said quietly, wanting to hear that sentence again.

"They are your parents my boy, the ones who hated you so much that they just had to get rid of you."

"Ken…shin?" the woman whispered, taking a step towards him, "Kenshin….is that…..really you?" she said, now her husbands turn to be frozen as he stared as his son.

Kenshin however seemed he wasn't quite as happy to see his parents as they were to see him. He glared at them, and as his mother took another step towards him, he raised the hilt of sword from its sheath in a warning.

His mother stopped, her caring eyes suddenly focusing on Kenshin's right hand, a confused, worried look on her face.

"Kenshin?" she smiled sweetly, but a smile to cover the worry in her voice, "It's….it's so good to see you again." she said softly, another smile as she took another step towards him, the baby in her arms cooing slightly before returning to its silence.

Takahashi meanwhile turned to Yoshida with a glare in his eyes, "What are you planning to-"

"Don't worry." Yoshida smiled, "Just watch."

Kenshin could do nothing but stare at his mother, the very one who had sold him, got rid of him, the very one who cared less for him and more about how rich and powerful they were. Saito had used the image of his parents' hatred for him as a tool to enhance the anger inside Kenshin's young body. Seeing the image of his hateful parents in his mind when he killed others brought forward more anger and pain, as if killing those others would make up for Kenshin's own pain at knowing he had been worthless and a nuisance to his parents.

"Kenshin….darling…." His mother smiled again, but her eyes giving away just how nervous she was, "It's okay….you can come back with us now, I'll….I'll take you away from here, you can come live with us again….we'll be a family…"

But the more she spoke, the more lies she said to him, the more Kenshin began to grip his sword, and he began to shake with anger, a hatred rising from his very soul, eyes a piercing gold radiating the pure loathing he had for her and his father.

"Kenshin." Kenshin's fierce eyes moved from his mother to his father as he walked to her side. "Come back with us son, you can start a new life with us again. We have missed you so much, we've never stopped loving you."

Loving me? How could someone who sold me possible love me?

It was lies, more lies, did they think he was stupid or something? How could they love him? They'd sold him so they could stay in their business, could have their rotten money, the only thing they loved was their own selfish little world!

"You're angry." Yoshida said calmly towards Kenshin, "Of course you're angry. After what they did… don't you think they deserve death Kenshin?"

Kenshin listened to that voice, the voice he had always obeyed, the voice that was telling him to do exactly what he wanted. This would be his only chance to do this, to kill them, to kill his actual parents then just imagining them on someone else's corpse.

Kenshin narrowed his eyes, the last rays of sunlight disappearing from the skylight, "Of course Sir."

He gripped on the hilt of sword tight and-

"STOP!"

Kenshin blinked, surprised at the man who was suddenly standing between him and his parents.

"You must stop this! You do not need to kill them! I can understand what they did was wrong but it does not mean they should be murdered!"

One of the guards standing by the front door blinked at the space where another guard had been standing a moment ago, wondering what on earth did he think he was doing running into this.

"Who….?" Kenshin began, eyes wide "Get out of my way!" he demanded soon after, his glare returning.

"What's this?" Yoshida whispered to himself, amused at who had suddenly appeared, "So….you've managed to sneak your way in hmm?"

"Please, you are just a child, you should not even know these hardships, no one at any age should. You still have a chance to stop, you must not kill them you will only regret it!" the man shouted, Kenshin's parents, who had fallen to the floor in an attempt to duck the strike that Kenshin was going to do, sat there looking up at the man who had saved them.

Kenshin stood there, eyes wide again, not understanding a word this man was saying. Regret killing them? It had been the one thing he had dreamt about for as long as he could remember, revenge on the ones who gave him this life.

"Who…who are you?" Kenshin asked.

"It doesn't matter who I am, but you must not kill them! That hatred you feel for them is not needed. I myself am looking for someone who was taken from my fami—"

"KENSHIN! KILL HIM!" Yoshida shouted loudly, and in the blink of an eye, before the man could even finish his sentence or get to his gun, Kenshin had drawn his sword and sliced through his chest, blood splattering on his cowering parents behind him, and he fell to the floor unmoving.

Yoshida smirked to himself. That had been close. If Saito had heard that he was the someone Detective Shinamori had been looking for, his illusion of telling him as a child his parents never once looked for him would be broken. The hatred from parents is always a good way to rise the hatred within a child, he could not let that lie be broken. He'd tell him later who it was though, he'd suspect Saito would be thanking Kenshin for killing him.

"Now then Kenshin, I believe you were about to have your revenge on your parents were you not?"

"Yes Sir."

Kenshin held his sword at his side, blood dripping from its edges, but before he could take a step towards his parents, his mother suddenly screamed, terror in her eyes, and she scrambled towards the door on her hands and knees, almost squashing the baby in her one arm as she tried to escape, her husband right behind her.

As the baby too started to scream and cry, the guard by the door pointed his rifle towards the two, and they stopped by the fountain, barely a foot away from Kenshin who had had not moved.

With the exit blocked, guns aiming at them from the guards at the sides, and their own son threatening to kill them, Kenshin's father turned to him, holding his shaking wife in his arms. He stared up at Kenshin, terrified, "Please….please don't do this…you don't have to do this…we're sorry, we're so sorry, but we didn't have a choice. Please try to see this from our point of view, please…" He pleaded, but Kenshin simply turned his head to look down at them, continuing to glare fiercely, his small frame tense, fists tightly closed. "Listen… yes listen to that man, he's right you know, you'll only regret killing us—"

"-ou…" Kenshin said, his voice shaking with anger, "How could you….?" He raised his blood dripping sword above his head, arms shaking with this hatred so strong, the horrified look on his mother's face as she looked up at him not affecting him at all.

"Please…" she begged, "For our baby….for your sister…" she smiled, a smile so false it just angered Kenshin even more, his sister crying in her un-motherly arms, "…please…you don't, want to kill us do you? Because it will be your fault if you kill us and she has no love to grow up with."

Fury flashed across Kenshin's eyes, tears suddenly falling from the unbearable amount of pain and betrayal that surged through him, "YOU'LL SELL ME BUT NOT HER!" he screamed, swinging the sword down in pure rage.

"KENSHIN NO!" )))

"To me, the Yakuza were my family." Kenshin lowered his head in memory, "They'd raised me, fed me, let me live with them, all in exchange for a bit of training in killing people who were just as cruel and selfish as my parents were. I was angry….so angry…so I killed them."

Sano was looking away, eyes fixed intently on the floor.

"I killed them both….over and over again…slashing them to pieces. But I was crying. The whole time I did it, even when my mother reached out to me one final time before I skewered my sword right through her chest, I was crying. As I did it, I thought I was crying from anger, but it wasn't anger, it was sadness."

Kenshin looked up at Sano who still had his head lowered, and Kenshin closed his eyes, resting his head on the propped up pillow and stared up at the ceiling.

"But that was the turning point for me, that was when I realised something I should have realised a long time ago. Although I hated them, there was apart of me, a small, tiny part of me, that was glad to see them, so happy to have found my parents alive and well. Even knowing what they did to me, that they'd sold me, they were still my parents, and I'd never met them before, and on our first meeting, I killed them. When I'd realised that…and realised that I'd just slaughtered them so brutally…it was like…I'd…"

Sano looked up, an emotionless expression on his face, only to see tears falling from Kenshin's eyes.

"…I'd never felt the feeling that suddenly washed through me. All the people I had murdered, all the people I had slain, it wasn't just their lives I had taken, but I had ruined the lives of the people that had loved them, the people that I hadn't been ordered to hurt. Knowing how sad and mortified I felt at seeing my parents dead before me, the thought that I had caused this feeing within so many other people that I hadn't even met before by killing the ones they loved…I couldn't do it anymore."

"Kenshin." Sano whispered, eyes so sad at the look on Kenshin face, "You don't have to do this, it's hard on you I can tell."

"No." Kenshin said, turning to look at him, forcing a small smile, "I have to tell you, so please, just let me say it."

Sano opened his mouth to protest, but at the look in Kenshin's eyes, he stopped, and nodded.

Kenshin looked back up at the white ceiling and continued, "It was at that point that the front doors burst open and Takahashi's assassins came through, obviously he'd had the same idea as Yoshida for an ambush, and that's when the battle took place."

((( The once deadly quiet room in the aftermath of Kenshin killing his parents was suddenly filled with shouts, footsteps, guns and the clashing sounds of swords as the room became alive with movement. The smell of blood quickly filled the air, everyone fighting off an enemy, except Kenshin, who stood completely still in the mass of activity, and simply stared down his parents and his baby sister. They lay half in the water fountain, the water having turned red with their blood, and as Kenshin stood there staring at them, he did nothing but cry. Tears poured down his face, in complete shock and disgust at what he had just done.

He couldn't move, he could do nothing but stare at his dead parents, his baby sister lying face down in the water.

"Kenshin!"

He'd killed them, he'd slaughtered them, his own parents… this couldn't be right could it?

"Kenshin!"

Kenshin raised one arm to his left eye and wiped at the tears, only to realise he'd just wiped blood on his face from his hand, his parents blood.

"Kenshin!"

Kenshin could feel his heart clench, his throat tighten….

"KENSHIN!"

Kenshin looked up to see Saito suddenly stab someone who'd been coming right at him with a sword. Tossing the dead man aside Saito quickly grabbed Kenshin by his hair and pulled him over to one side under the balcony.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, "Fight!"

Kenshin looked up at him, tears still flowing freely, "I can't."

Saito quickly deflected a bullet by his sword and slashed at someone coming towards them, before glaring back down at him.

"What do you mean you can't! Don't hesitate, I've told you a thousand times before, now get out there!"

Saito pushed Kenshin in front of him, running out yelling and clashing swords with another man.

It would seem though that most of the enemy was ignoring Kenshin, obviously imagining him to just be a child caught up in this slaughter and not a threat, despite the sword he still carried at his side.

He stood in the middle of the room, dead bodies beginning to pile up around him, and he looked around, everyone fighting, statues now broken on the ground, paintings on the walls slashed and splattered with blood, and cry after cry of pain and sorrow.

With one more look to his parents, Kenshin walked away. )))

"I ran out the mansion, as far as I could, dropping my sword outside. But I had no idea where to go. All I knew were Yakuza hideouts, and I couldn't go to one of them, but I was still covered in blood so I couldn't go anywhere else either. I wandered the streets for a few hours, but later on that night, Yoshida found me, having won the fight, and took me back to the main headquarters."

((( "You ungrateful little BRAT!"

Yoshida slashed at Kenshin with a knife across his left cheek, so hard that he fell sideways to the ground. Yoshida got up from his seat and grabbed Kenshin by the scruff of his neck, throwing him across the room hitting hard into a wall, sliding down to the floor.

Grabbing a sword from his collection on the wall, Yoshida forced it into Kenshin's hand and dragged the boy over to one of the assassins from Tokyo who had survived, now a prisoner.

"Kill him!" Yoshida demanded, standing behind Kenshin gripping his shoulders tightly, standing him in front of the chained prisoner.

"No." Kenshin said sternly, looking at the frightened man before him.

"KILL HIM!"

"NO! I WON'T DO IT ANYMORE! I WON'T KILL ANYONE!"

Growling angrily, Yoshida threw Kenshin to the side again, storming back over to his chair and sitting back down, clicking his fingers so one of his subordinates nearby brought him a jug of Sake, pouring some into a cup for him.

"Fine." He said, taking a sip of the Sake to try and calm his nerves, "If you can't kill, then I have no need for you any mo-"

"THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!"

Yoshida paused in his drinking and looked down at the boy, staring up at him from the floor with tears in his eyes, "Saito, you, everyone always told me that killing people was okay, but how can it! This feeling…" he said, clutching his stomach as if in pain, "How can this feeling be okay? I don't want to cause this feeling in anyone else. I don't want to kill anymore knowing that everyone will feel this PAIN!" he screamed the last word, trying to get this now seemingly so sensible and obvious reasoniong across to his Boss.

Yoshida stared down at Kenshin with thoughtful eyes, before glaring. "It's sappy moralists like you that the Yakuza can do without. If you won't kill…then be killed yourself."

With another click of his fingers the wall to his left rose up, and five Yakuza assassins stood there grinning cruelly at the thought of getting to kill a kid.

"As you suddenly seem so against killing with swords, as a reward for your life service, I'll let them kill you using their own bare hands." Yoshida smiked.

Kenshin shakily stood up from the ground, blood slowly seeping from the slash wound on his cheek, and he found himself backing away from the men approaching him. He'd never felt fear before, was this it? Knowing he was about to be killed, was this fear he was feeling?

As the first man grabbed his collar, Kenshin squeezed his eyes shut tightly. )))

"I remember seeing Saito out the corner of my eye, standing next to Yoshida the whole time, just standing, arms crossed. I thought, out of everyone, that Saito might at least try and help me. I grew up with him, he taught me everything, as far as working in the Yakuza was concerned, he was probably the only person I could call a friend."

((( "Alright that's enough boys. Go and have some fun with our Tokyo guest."

The Yakuza men stopped their assault on Kenshin and stepped away, turning towards their prisoner from earlier, the man unable to do anything as they dragged him away to some unknown destination.

Yoshida and Saito were the only ones left now, Yoshida stumping out his cigar on the arm of his chair and getting up to follow the others, "Find a nice rotting place to dump the body would you Saito?" he said as he walked out the door.

"Yes Sir." Saito replied.

As he disappeared from view, Saito walked over to bloodied heap that was Kenshin, lying completely motionless in a pool of his own blood. Saito knelt down next to him and regarded him for a moment, "Too bad…if only you'd listened instead of hesitating." He said, flicking a piece of hair away from his closed eyes.

Picking the light body up, Saito carried him through the hallways and out of the building into the dark streets of Kyoto, opening the boot to his car and dumping Kenshin inside. He was about to shut the lid however, when a small moan reached his ears. Looking back down at the broken boy, Saito saw one finger twitch.

"So you're not dead yet." He smirked, an idea immediately forming in his mind, "Too bad for you." Picking him up, Saito shut the boot and opened the back passenger door, lying him down across it. "Alright, here's the deal." He said, leaning across him to face the still closed eyes, "You want to live right? Well even if you don't, I'm cutting you a deal. I'll leave you in the hands of a very capable couple I know. They'll be able to look after you, you'll be able to live a normal life. I'll tell Boss Yoshida that I dumped your body just as he asked, that you're dead and not coming back, just as he would like. How's that sound?"

Kenshin didn't reply, but then again, Saito didn't think he could anyway, "But of course, there is…one, condition." Saito smirked, "I want to get something out of this myself, I don't do favours for free, so once you're up and about and old enough, I want you to find a job, because every month, I'm going to want some money off you understand? To keep quiet about you still being alive, you're going to have to buy my silence, got it?" No reply of course. "Move your fingers on your left hand if you agree."

Saito watched, and low and below, three small fingers slowly closed a little tighter into the palm, and Saito smiled, "Good." Taking out a knife from his pocket, Saito brought it up to the slash on Kenshin left cheek, and slowly drew the blade downwards across it, marking his ownership with a cross…

"It's a promise."

… and Kenshin fell unconscious.)))

"When I woke up, I was in a hospital in Tokyo, being told that this family had found me on their doorstep and wanted to know if I had anywhere to stay, because if I didn't, I could stay with them. I didn't have much of a choice, I was on the run from the Yakuza, so took them up on their offer and stayed with them. That was when I met Megumi and Aoshi for the first time. They showed me a sword that was left with me, and then I found the letter that Saito had written, that's what you read." Kenshin paused, a feeling of relief sweeping over his mind and body, everything for the first time in life, finally told out loud. "There, that's about it."

The relief in him didn't last very long though, because he now faced the answer to the question of whether or not Sano still forgives him, still loves him. He couldn't bring himself to look at him, so just waited, waited for the words that would either save or destroy his life.

"All of that….really happened to you?" came Sano's quiet voice, looking down at the bed sheets again.

"Yes." Kenshin said, still staring at the ceiling, before he suddenly realised there was something else he had failed to mention, "And, umm…" he looked away at the wall, guilt suddenly flowing into him, "As I'm telling you everything, you'd better know that…Saito…." Kenshin paused, sighing quietly, "Well there's no other way of putting it, we…...had sex….twice."

Sano seemed to flinch, but other than that didn't move.

"The first was, I guess more like rape," he said quietly, "but the second…" Kenshin closed his eyes in disgust at the memory, "It was just after you'd run away, I think…. I think I'd lost it for a while….I knew it was him, but all I saw was you."

Again silence gripped the air, and it must have been a full five minutes they remained that way, Kenshin having now closed his eyes, trying not to think of what Sano was thinking, and just waited patiently.

But as patient as Kenshin was, when Sano didn't speak, he began to worry. A silence this long surely meant something was bad. He looked at him again, who was still looking down avoiding his eyes, and Kenshin frowned in extreme worry. He didn't want to lose Sano again, not after all this.

"If….if you still love me, you'd better make sure you really do, because…." Kenshin felt tears in his eyes again when Sano still didn't move, "…because once I've got you…" Kenshin slowly moved his right hand to hold Sano's that was resting on the bed, "…I'm not letting you go, that I'm not." He said softly as he looked away, a few tears falling from his eyes. If Sano should walk now, if he brushed his hand aside and walked out the room, Kenshin's heart would disappear as well.

But it was a small sob that made Kenshin look back at Sano in surprise, Sano's shoulders trembling.

"Sano?" Kenshin inquired, and Sano finally looked up, tears down his face, and in one movement Kenshin suddenly found Sano risen from his chair and engulfing him in a hug, holding him as close as he could without hurting Kenshin's operation on his lung.

"You're an idiot you know that!" he said, tears falling freely as he buried his face in Kenshin's hair, "I love you more than anything else in this world, and I can't believe you went through all that, and kept it hidden! I could never have done that I would have cracked! But you…." Sano suddenly pulled back, cupping the wide eyed Kenshin by his cheeks and kissing him hard, a deep kiss that sent every ounce of love and adoration through to him, "…you're amazing." He whispered when he pulled back, resting his forehead against Kenshin's. "I'll say it a million times, I forgive you, and I love you so much. I don't wanna leave you, I'm not going to leave you," he gently put his hand over Kenshin's, the one that had been holding his a moment ago, and smiled warmly down at him, tears of happiness in his eyes, "And I don't wanna let go either."

Kenshin couldn't find the words to say as he stared up at him. His throat seemed to have clenched up, he couldn't think, couldn't even blink. All he could hear was the words that had finally been said, after all this time, and all he could do as Sano kissed him again, was let the tears of joy fall freely down his cheeks.

For the first time in his life, he had finally been forgiven.

To Be Continued….