Chapter 17
Felicity entered the apartment about an hour later and found Ben seated on the edge of the couch. He stood up immediately as she entered the room.
"Hey, I was getting worried. Are you..are you okay? I mean, I am sorry for what I said, I didn't mean..." Ben said all in a rush as he moved towards her.
"No, you don't need to apologize. I should be the one apologizing to you. I was walking around thinking and ... and I am just so sorry. I know that you are working so hard, studying and all because so you can be the best doctor you can. I should not have tried to make that out to be..."
"No, it's okay. I understand. I miss you, too. This has not been easy, and I know you must be hurting. I am sorry I didn't talk to you about it, that you had to get so upset," Ben said as he moved to take her hand in his. ""Come here, let's sit down."
Felicity sat next to him and looked at her hand in his, rubbing her thumb over his palm. "Ben, I just feel like we don't have enough time together. I don't want us to drift apart. I'm scared that will happen."
"What? That will never happen. I love you," he said as he touched her face. "We will figure this out. Listen, I don't want you to worry. I promise things will get better, and we will make plans to spend time together. I don't want you to be so upset. I hate for you to feel this way."
"I know. I didn't mean to sound so needy. I hate that I hurt you and that I left you here alone."
"It's okay. It gave me some time to think. And I really want you to understand something. What I said about your art, and how it is easy or whatever, I didn't mean that. I just...."
"No, Ben. It's okay. I know you didn't...."
"No, let me finish. You really enjoy your classes, and you are so good at it, I don't stop to think that it can be hard for you. I mean, you are so great, you are so talented, it seems like you wouldn't have to work so hard. But my classes, they are different. I am not good at this stuff, and it is not easy for me. I really have to study and to tell you the truth, I hate most of it. But I have to learn it or I can't become a doctor. Which is what I really want to do."
"I know Ben, and I am so proud of you."
"I know, but I don't think you understand how much I envy you."
"What? Why do you envy me?" she asked curiously.
"You get to study things that you really like doing, and that you are incredibly good at. It comes easily to you, like running or swimming does to me. But I have to go to classes that mostly confuse me and really don't interest me that much. I have to make it through and it is really hard sometimes. I am not sure that I can do it. And you, you really love what you do. You have fun with it and I can tell you are happy. I know I will get to that point one day with my work, but right now, I am not."
"Ben, you can do it. You know I have faith in you, you can do anything."
Ben blushed slightly and touched her leg gently. "I don't think you know how much you amaze me, you always have. I feel like you can do anything. And I know you feel that way about me, but...I don't know, I have a hard time believing it sometimes." He smiled, "but, I think I am getting there."
Felicity smiled back at him. "Good, I am glad to hear that."
"Look, I am sorry for what I said. I don't ever mean to hurt you. You have to know that is the last thing I ever want to do. So please forgive me for what I said."
Felicity smiled at him and then leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. "You are forgiven."
Ben sighed with relief. "Good. I forgive you, too. I actually forgave you about a minute after you walked out the door."
They both laughed. Felicity said, "yeah, I am sorry about that. I won't walk out on you like that again."
"Good, that really scared me. I don't like it when we fight, I feel like you might,,,I don't know, not ever come back."
"Now look who's being silly," she said as she playfully swatted his arm.
Ben laughed and then looked at her intently. "Really, I want you to remember something. Even when I am busy, you are always the first thing I think about, the only one I really want to be with. When I am at school, or at work, I think about you. And I want you to know, I am doing all of this for our future, for you and me. So, so when after we get married and I am done with med school, if- if you want to have kids, you can stay home with them. And not have to work. And..."
"Ben, you think about us having kids?" Felicity asked with slight shock in her voice.
Ben blushed, looking down as he said "Of course I do, I mean, if you want to. Someday."
She grinned at him. "I think that would be wonderful. We could have a little Ben junior one day," as she rubbed his thigh.
"Oh, I don't know. I think about a little girl with long curls, who looks just like her mommy," Ben replied. They both laughed at the thought.
Then Ben leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. Felicity brought her arms around his neck and they embraced. They sat there holding each other, relieved that their fight was over.
"So, are we okay now? We aren't mad at each other anymore?" Ben whispered.
"Yes, we are okay. More than okay," Felicity said, smiling as they broke their embrace.
"Good, then can we take this into the bedroom. I am beat."
"Sure, come on," she said as she stood up from the couch. She took Ben's hand and he followed her into the bedroom. They got into bed quietly after changing clothes, looking at each other with relief and happiness. The tension had disappeared, and was replaced with the gentle calm that always surrounded them when they were overcome with their love for each other. Felicity lay with her head on Ben's chest, as he whispered again how much he loved her and how they would make this work. The last thing Ben heard before he drifted off to sleep was "I love you, Ben Covington. I can't wait to be your wife."
Felicity entered the apartment about an hour later and found Ben seated on the edge of the couch. He stood up immediately as she entered the room.
"Hey, I was getting worried. Are you..are you okay? I mean, I am sorry for what I said, I didn't mean..." Ben said all in a rush as he moved towards her.
"No, you don't need to apologize. I should be the one apologizing to you. I was walking around thinking and ... and I am just so sorry. I know that you are working so hard, studying and all because so you can be the best doctor you can. I should not have tried to make that out to be..."
"No, it's okay. I understand. I miss you, too. This has not been easy, and I know you must be hurting. I am sorry I didn't talk to you about it, that you had to get so upset," Ben said as he moved to take her hand in his. ""Come here, let's sit down."
Felicity sat next to him and looked at her hand in his, rubbing her thumb over his palm. "Ben, I just feel like we don't have enough time together. I don't want us to drift apart. I'm scared that will happen."
"What? That will never happen. I love you," he said as he touched her face. "We will figure this out. Listen, I don't want you to worry. I promise things will get better, and we will make plans to spend time together. I don't want you to be so upset. I hate for you to feel this way."
"I know. I didn't mean to sound so needy. I hate that I hurt you and that I left you here alone."
"It's okay. It gave me some time to think. And I really want you to understand something. What I said about your art, and how it is easy or whatever, I didn't mean that. I just...."
"No, Ben. It's okay. I know you didn't...."
"No, let me finish. You really enjoy your classes, and you are so good at it, I don't stop to think that it can be hard for you. I mean, you are so great, you are so talented, it seems like you wouldn't have to work so hard. But my classes, they are different. I am not good at this stuff, and it is not easy for me. I really have to study and to tell you the truth, I hate most of it. But I have to learn it or I can't become a doctor. Which is what I really want to do."
"I know Ben, and I am so proud of you."
"I know, but I don't think you understand how much I envy you."
"What? Why do you envy me?" she asked curiously.
"You get to study things that you really like doing, and that you are incredibly good at. It comes easily to you, like running or swimming does to me. But I have to go to classes that mostly confuse me and really don't interest me that much. I have to make it through and it is really hard sometimes. I am not sure that I can do it. And you, you really love what you do. You have fun with it and I can tell you are happy. I know I will get to that point one day with my work, but right now, I am not."
"Ben, you can do it. You know I have faith in you, you can do anything."
Ben blushed slightly and touched her leg gently. "I don't think you know how much you amaze me, you always have. I feel like you can do anything. And I know you feel that way about me, but...I don't know, I have a hard time believing it sometimes." He smiled, "but, I think I am getting there."
Felicity smiled back at him. "Good, I am glad to hear that."
"Look, I am sorry for what I said. I don't ever mean to hurt you. You have to know that is the last thing I ever want to do. So please forgive me for what I said."
Felicity smiled at him and then leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. "You are forgiven."
Ben sighed with relief. "Good. I forgive you, too. I actually forgave you about a minute after you walked out the door."
They both laughed. Felicity said, "yeah, I am sorry about that. I won't walk out on you like that again."
"Good, that really scared me. I don't like it when we fight, I feel like you might,,,I don't know, not ever come back."
"Now look who's being silly," she said as she playfully swatted his arm.
Ben laughed and then looked at her intently. "Really, I want you to remember something. Even when I am busy, you are always the first thing I think about, the only one I really want to be with. When I am at school, or at work, I think about you. And I want you to know, I am doing all of this for our future, for you and me. So, so when after we get married and I am done with med school, if- if you want to have kids, you can stay home with them. And not have to work. And..."
"Ben, you think about us having kids?" Felicity asked with slight shock in her voice.
Ben blushed, looking down as he said "Of course I do, I mean, if you want to. Someday."
She grinned at him. "I think that would be wonderful. We could have a little Ben junior one day," as she rubbed his thigh.
"Oh, I don't know. I think about a little girl with long curls, who looks just like her mommy," Ben replied. They both laughed at the thought.
Then Ben leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. Felicity brought her arms around his neck and they embraced. They sat there holding each other, relieved that their fight was over.
"So, are we okay now? We aren't mad at each other anymore?" Ben whispered.
"Yes, we are okay. More than okay," Felicity said, smiling as they broke their embrace.
"Good, then can we take this into the bedroom. I am beat."
"Sure, come on," she said as she stood up from the couch. She took Ben's hand and he followed her into the bedroom. They got into bed quietly after changing clothes, looking at each other with relief and happiness. The tension had disappeared, and was replaced with the gentle calm that always surrounded them when they were overcome with their love for each other. Felicity lay with her head on Ben's chest, as he whispered again how much he loved her and how they would make this work. The last thing Ben heard before he drifted off to sleep was "I love you, Ben Covington. I can't wait to be your wife."