Chapter 18
The next morning Felicity woke to the feel of Ben rubbing her back softly with his fingertips. She turned and saw him lying next to her with a pensive look on his face that soon turned to a bright smile when her gaze turned to him.
"Hey," she whispered.
"Hey," he replied, then leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. "I wasn't sure if you were going to wake up or not."
"Yeah, well I must have been tired. I'm sorry, I hope I haven't made you late to school or anything," she said, looking at the clock.
"Nah, I decided to skip my first class today...."
"Ben, you don't need to do that. Just because we...."
"No, no, I wanted to. I mean, I want to stay here in bed with you for awhile. We- we had a rough night, I want to hold you for awhile."
"Yeah, we did. But we're okay."
"Yeah, we're okay," he said with a smile, leaning over to kiss her softly on the lips. The kiss continued for a few minutes as they cherished the feel of each other.
Felicity broke the kiss and looked at him seriously. "You know Ben, I really am sorry about last night..."
"There is no need for you to apologize, we just said we are okay. I don't want you to worry, we will always have time for each other. I will make sure of it."
"Yeah," she replied, smiling at how serious he was. She knew he meant his promise.
"Now, enough talking. We need to make up appropriately," Ben replied, leaning in to kiss her ear.
"Oh yeah? What would that involve?"
"Oh, I don't know. Why don't you surprise me?" Ben replied with a snicker.
They looked at each other and laughed. Ben took her into his arms and held her close to him, breathing in the scent of her. Felicity felt herself immediately respond to his gentle touch as he began to touch her. Their mouths met in a passionate kiss as their hands glided over each other's bodies. They made love tenderly and slowly, telling each other how much they want and love each other. Later, as they lay wrapped in each other's arms, Ben said, "I just want to stay here like this forever. I don't ever want to leave."
"I know, me too," Felicity sighed.
But life had to continue. There were classes to attend, tests to study for and work to be done. Ben continued to study hard and many nights they had only an hour or so to spend together. But they made the most of it. Felicity surprised him many days with a portrait she had just finished. Once she even surprised him with a portrait of him, from one night when she got up to draw him as he slept. He was completely overcome with how beautiful it was and how much love she had put into it. Ben loved to see her so happy with her work and he could tell their conversation had eased her worries a bit.
Their life became more complicated a few weeks later when his mom came into town. His dad was still in the hospital, in an inpatient acute rehab unit. His liver was still in poor condition and they were waiting for a transplant. He had tried to leave the hospital on one occasion, and had actually made it for a few days, but then he became too weak and ended up hospitalized again. His mother was very worried and spent a lot of time sitting with his dad at the hospital. Ben did not understand why she was so worried, since they had separated long ago. Felicity tried to reassure him that his parents must still love each other, because she had seen the way they interacted. She was certain that Ben's mom was simply trying to care for the man who used to be her husband. Ben was not convinced and worried that his mother would fall back into his dad's trap and get hurt all over again.
Ben was surprised when one day he came home from work to find his mom and Felicity laughing loudly.
"Oh my God! You have got to be joking. I can't believe Ben did that!"
"Oh yes, there he was, my little Benji, dumping a bottle of ketchup all over the floor. He was only two at the time, and he was already into constant mischief. He was a bad little boy sometimes."
"Hey, what's going on here? You guys talking about me?" Ben asked as he came into the apartment.
"Oh hey, "Felicity replied, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek. "Yes, your mom was telling me all about you when you were a little boy."
"Yeah, I heard that. But mom, you could have told her a good story at least."
"Ah, Benji, don't you worry, we talked about the good stuff, too," his mom replied, patting him softly on the arm.
"Mom, don't call me that. That's embarrassing."
"Come on, I was just teasing. You are too serious. I am just having a little fun here with your beautiful fiance."
"Well, that I will not argue with, she certainly is beautiful." Ben leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, as Felicity blushed at the compliment.
"Okay, well I will leave you two alone. I know you must want some privacy. But Ben, we need to go to the hospital first thing in the morning. Your dad wants to talk to you about something important."
"What? I can't go first thing in the morning, I have to study."
"Ben, it's important. He really needs to go over some things with you. I think he is worried about what is going to happen and he wants us to be sure we understand what his wishes are," his mom gently replied.
"Yeah, I know, but I need to study. I have a big test next week. Can we maybe do it after that?"
"Ben, I don't really think so. Just be ready at 8 or so. I will come get you."
"Yeah, okay, whatever," Ben replied begrudgingly.
"Okay, then I am going to go. See you tomorrow."
They said goodbye and then Ben sat down heavily on the couch. Felicity could tell he was worried and sat beside him, resting her hand on his knee.
"Ben, I can go with you tomorrow if you want. It might be hard, what he has to say."
"No, you don't need to do that. I mean you were going to the studio to meet with your professor. You don't have to change that."
"No, I want to. I want to be with you."
Ben sighed and looked down at the floor. "Felicity, I know you want to help me with this, but there really isn't anything you can do. And I don't want you to worry. We have enough going on to be worried about my dad. I mean, you know how he is, how he has been. I just don't want you to worry about it."
"I know Ben, but I do worry. He is your dad, and he is going to be my father in law one day. I want to get to know him and I want to help you through this. Look, I know you don't want to talk about it, but I know you must be scared, despite what he did. Your mom said you really were good with him at the hospital the other day, that you really listened to him and talked to the doctors...."
"You and mom were really talking huh?"
"Yeah, we were. I was glad to talk to her. She's a wonderful woman. I can see why you protected her and why you love her so much. I love her already. Besides, I like to hear what you were like when you were a child. We never talk about that stuff. Like how you always tried to cheer her up by playing games with her or making her a bowl of ice cream."
"Yeah, I did that. But it was because of my dad I had to do all of it. I mean, he was...you know how he was," Ben trailed off.
Felicity touched Ben lightly on his arm. "I know. And I know it is hard to forgive him for all of that, but what is going on right now, how sick he is, that is more important. Just go with your mom tomorrow and listen to what he has to say. That's all I ask."
Ben smiled and took her hand in his. He sat stroking her palm as he thought of what he wanted to say. Finally he said, "You're the best, you know that? Even when I am kind of pissed or I don't want to talk about it, you somehow know what is right and you make me feel better. I don't know how you do it. How you have such patience with me."
"Well, you do the same with me. And I do it because I love you. I want you to always know that I am here for you."
"I love you, too. Thanks, thanks for everything," he whispered. Felicity smiled kissing him softly, and no words were needed in reply.
Ben did go to see his father at the hospital the next day. He was surprised when his father asked him to be his power of attorney in the event he is unable to make decisions for himself. At first, he refused, saying it just didn't make sense. But when his mom encouraged him, and after hearing his dad's concerns, he agreed. His dad had moments on some days where he was a bit incoherent and he was afraid he would not be able to respond to the doctor's questions related to treatment. And he wanted to make sure his wishes were understood. Ben ended up taking the responsibility very seriously, reading up on his father's options for treatment and reviewing with him his opinion about each of them. Meanwhile, Felicity was engrossed in a large art project with Dr. Cavallo and another student. She spent some evenings at the art studio, while Ben was studying, working closely with him. They were to present their work at an art show in three weeks so the pressure was on to get their work done and done well. Felicity was so engrossed in her latest piece, a series of abstract paintings, that she often found herself at the studio well past midnight. She was determined to impress her professor, who she had such respect for. He had taught her so much already and she was pleased with how many compliments he had given her. She did not want to let him down.
One night she was working at the studio, intently painting, when Cavallo came into the room to check on her progress.
"How's it going here?" he asked, looking at what she had done thus far.
"Oh hi, I didn't expect you to be here this late. Things are okay, a little bit slow, but I think I am getting it."
"Yes, I'd say you are. It looks good, very good composition here and I like the way the shadow is falling across right here," he said, leaning in to show her what he meant.
"Oh, thanks," she replied, blushing. "I wasn't real sure about that."
"No, I think it looks good. Just keep going," he said encouragingly, touching her lightly on the arm.
"Yeah, okay."
Cavallo leaned in a bit closer, looking over her shoulder. Felicity kept trying to concentrate, but she was distracted by him looking so intently at her work. Finally she said "I don't know, I might call it quits for tonight, I am pretty tired," she said, becoming slightly uncomfortable with the intense scrutiny.
"Okay, well then I will see you tomorrow. Good job, it is really beautiful."
"Oh thanks, I will see you tomorrow." Felicity smiled as she turned to leave the art studio, shaking off any worry she had had a moment before. She was certain he was just very interested in her work and wanted to encourage her. She would try to forget about how he had seemed to discreetly smell her neck and how closely he had stood to her. She was sure it meant nothing and she was overreacting. "I am just tense, I need to calm down" she said to herself as she walked home. She was happy to be heading home; she had a long day and was ready to go home to Ben's waiting arms. The thought of it made her smile and she continued home with no other thought in her mind other than Ben's arms wrapped tightly around her.
The next morning Felicity woke to the feel of Ben rubbing her back softly with his fingertips. She turned and saw him lying next to her with a pensive look on his face that soon turned to a bright smile when her gaze turned to him.
"Hey," she whispered.
"Hey," he replied, then leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. "I wasn't sure if you were going to wake up or not."
"Yeah, well I must have been tired. I'm sorry, I hope I haven't made you late to school or anything," she said, looking at the clock.
"Nah, I decided to skip my first class today...."
"Ben, you don't need to do that. Just because we...."
"No, no, I wanted to. I mean, I want to stay here in bed with you for awhile. We- we had a rough night, I want to hold you for awhile."
"Yeah, we did. But we're okay."
"Yeah, we're okay," he said with a smile, leaning over to kiss her softly on the lips. The kiss continued for a few minutes as they cherished the feel of each other.
Felicity broke the kiss and looked at him seriously. "You know Ben, I really am sorry about last night..."
"There is no need for you to apologize, we just said we are okay. I don't want you to worry, we will always have time for each other. I will make sure of it."
"Yeah," she replied, smiling at how serious he was. She knew he meant his promise.
"Now, enough talking. We need to make up appropriately," Ben replied, leaning in to kiss her ear.
"Oh yeah? What would that involve?"
"Oh, I don't know. Why don't you surprise me?" Ben replied with a snicker.
They looked at each other and laughed. Ben took her into his arms and held her close to him, breathing in the scent of her. Felicity felt herself immediately respond to his gentle touch as he began to touch her. Their mouths met in a passionate kiss as their hands glided over each other's bodies. They made love tenderly and slowly, telling each other how much they want and love each other. Later, as they lay wrapped in each other's arms, Ben said, "I just want to stay here like this forever. I don't ever want to leave."
"I know, me too," Felicity sighed.
But life had to continue. There were classes to attend, tests to study for and work to be done. Ben continued to study hard and many nights they had only an hour or so to spend together. But they made the most of it. Felicity surprised him many days with a portrait she had just finished. Once she even surprised him with a portrait of him, from one night when she got up to draw him as he slept. He was completely overcome with how beautiful it was and how much love she had put into it. Ben loved to see her so happy with her work and he could tell their conversation had eased her worries a bit.
Their life became more complicated a few weeks later when his mom came into town. His dad was still in the hospital, in an inpatient acute rehab unit. His liver was still in poor condition and they were waiting for a transplant. He had tried to leave the hospital on one occasion, and had actually made it for a few days, but then he became too weak and ended up hospitalized again. His mother was very worried and spent a lot of time sitting with his dad at the hospital. Ben did not understand why she was so worried, since they had separated long ago. Felicity tried to reassure him that his parents must still love each other, because she had seen the way they interacted. She was certain that Ben's mom was simply trying to care for the man who used to be her husband. Ben was not convinced and worried that his mother would fall back into his dad's trap and get hurt all over again.
Ben was surprised when one day he came home from work to find his mom and Felicity laughing loudly.
"Oh my God! You have got to be joking. I can't believe Ben did that!"
"Oh yes, there he was, my little Benji, dumping a bottle of ketchup all over the floor. He was only two at the time, and he was already into constant mischief. He was a bad little boy sometimes."
"Hey, what's going on here? You guys talking about me?" Ben asked as he came into the apartment.
"Oh hey, "Felicity replied, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek. "Yes, your mom was telling me all about you when you were a little boy."
"Yeah, I heard that. But mom, you could have told her a good story at least."
"Ah, Benji, don't you worry, we talked about the good stuff, too," his mom replied, patting him softly on the arm.
"Mom, don't call me that. That's embarrassing."
"Come on, I was just teasing. You are too serious. I am just having a little fun here with your beautiful fiance."
"Well, that I will not argue with, she certainly is beautiful." Ben leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, as Felicity blushed at the compliment.
"Okay, well I will leave you two alone. I know you must want some privacy. But Ben, we need to go to the hospital first thing in the morning. Your dad wants to talk to you about something important."
"What? I can't go first thing in the morning, I have to study."
"Ben, it's important. He really needs to go over some things with you. I think he is worried about what is going to happen and he wants us to be sure we understand what his wishes are," his mom gently replied.
"Yeah, I know, but I need to study. I have a big test next week. Can we maybe do it after that?"
"Ben, I don't really think so. Just be ready at 8 or so. I will come get you."
"Yeah, okay, whatever," Ben replied begrudgingly.
"Okay, then I am going to go. See you tomorrow."
They said goodbye and then Ben sat down heavily on the couch. Felicity could tell he was worried and sat beside him, resting her hand on his knee.
"Ben, I can go with you tomorrow if you want. It might be hard, what he has to say."
"No, you don't need to do that. I mean you were going to the studio to meet with your professor. You don't have to change that."
"No, I want to. I want to be with you."
Ben sighed and looked down at the floor. "Felicity, I know you want to help me with this, but there really isn't anything you can do. And I don't want you to worry. We have enough going on to be worried about my dad. I mean, you know how he is, how he has been. I just don't want you to worry about it."
"I know Ben, but I do worry. He is your dad, and he is going to be my father in law one day. I want to get to know him and I want to help you through this. Look, I know you don't want to talk about it, but I know you must be scared, despite what he did. Your mom said you really were good with him at the hospital the other day, that you really listened to him and talked to the doctors...."
"You and mom were really talking huh?"
"Yeah, we were. I was glad to talk to her. She's a wonderful woman. I can see why you protected her and why you love her so much. I love her already. Besides, I like to hear what you were like when you were a child. We never talk about that stuff. Like how you always tried to cheer her up by playing games with her or making her a bowl of ice cream."
"Yeah, I did that. But it was because of my dad I had to do all of it. I mean, he was...you know how he was," Ben trailed off.
Felicity touched Ben lightly on his arm. "I know. And I know it is hard to forgive him for all of that, but what is going on right now, how sick he is, that is more important. Just go with your mom tomorrow and listen to what he has to say. That's all I ask."
Ben smiled and took her hand in his. He sat stroking her palm as he thought of what he wanted to say. Finally he said, "You're the best, you know that? Even when I am kind of pissed or I don't want to talk about it, you somehow know what is right and you make me feel better. I don't know how you do it. How you have such patience with me."
"Well, you do the same with me. And I do it because I love you. I want you to always know that I am here for you."
"I love you, too. Thanks, thanks for everything," he whispered. Felicity smiled kissing him softly, and no words were needed in reply.
Ben did go to see his father at the hospital the next day. He was surprised when his father asked him to be his power of attorney in the event he is unable to make decisions for himself. At first, he refused, saying it just didn't make sense. But when his mom encouraged him, and after hearing his dad's concerns, he agreed. His dad had moments on some days where he was a bit incoherent and he was afraid he would not be able to respond to the doctor's questions related to treatment. And he wanted to make sure his wishes were understood. Ben ended up taking the responsibility very seriously, reading up on his father's options for treatment and reviewing with him his opinion about each of them. Meanwhile, Felicity was engrossed in a large art project with Dr. Cavallo and another student. She spent some evenings at the art studio, while Ben was studying, working closely with him. They were to present their work at an art show in three weeks so the pressure was on to get their work done and done well. Felicity was so engrossed in her latest piece, a series of abstract paintings, that she often found herself at the studio well past midnight. She was determined to impress her professor, who she had such respect for. He had taught her so much already and she was pleased with how many compliments he had given her. She did not want to let him down.
One night she was working at the studio, intently painting, when Cavallo came into the room to check on her progress.
"How's it going here?" he asked, looking at what she had done thus far.
"Oh hi, I didn't expect you to be here this late. Things are okay, a little bit slow, but I think I am getting it."
"Yes, I'd say you are. It looks good, very good composition here and I like the way the shadow is falling across right here," he said, leaning in to show her what he meant.
"Oh, thanks," she replied, blushing. "I wasn't real sure about that."
"No, I think it looks good. Just keep going," he said encouragingly, touching her lightly on the arm.
"Yeah, okay."
Cavallo leaned in a bit closer, looking over her shoulder. Felicity kept trying to concentrate, but she was distracted by him looking so intently at her work. Finally she said "I don't know, I might call it quits for tonight, I am pretty tired," she said, becoming slightly uncomfortable with the intense scrutiny.
"Okay, well then I will see you tomorrow. Good job, it is really beautiful."
"Oh thanks, I will see you tomorrow." Felicity smiled as she turned to leave the art studio, shaking off any worry she had had a moment before. She was certain he was just very interested in her work and wanted to encourage her. She would try to forget about how he had seemed to discreetly smell her neck and how closely he had stood to her. She was sure it meant nothing and she was overreacting. "I am just tense, I need to calm down" she said to herself as she walked home. She was happy to be heading home; she had a long day and was ready to go home to Ben's waiting arms. The thought of it made her smile and she continued home with no other thought in her mind other than Ben's arms wrapped tightly around her.