Chapter 20

At that very moment, Felicity was rushing towards Elena's. She hung her head down as she walked the streets of New York, wiping back tears as she went. I can't believe I have been so stupid, she chastised herself. Why did I let this go on? What am I going to do? Her thoughts kept running through her head at an incredible rate as she questioned herself again and again. What will Ben think when I tell him? I can't tell him about this, he would be so upset. By the time she got to Elena's she was distraught.

"What the hell happened to you?" Elena asked as she opened the door.

"Can I come in?" Felicity asked quietly.

"Of course," Elena replied, closing the door behind them.

Felicity went across the room and sat down heavily on the couch. Elena sat down beside her. "Okay, what is going on? Is it Ben? You two are okay, right?"

"No, no, it's not Ben. We are okay. I don't know how to tell you this, or even if I should, or even if I am imagining things. But I figured you'd understand since you went through something like this, well not exactly like this, freshman year. You know with McGrath. I don't know, never mind, I don't even know what I am talking about. I just didn't know what to do. I can't go home to Ben like this."

"Whoa, slow down. Why don't you start from the beginning?"

Felicity wiped a tear away and then started talking. It amazed her how good it felt to just get it all off her chest, she hadn't realized how much it was all affecting her. The more she talked, the more sense it made to her- she had been mistreated and she needed to do something about it. "So, we were talking again, and he was- he was.....looking at my painting and well, I can't believe this, but he- he leaned over and kissed me on the top of my head. And I didn't know what to do, I mean- why did he do that? I..I told him to stop. And he- he just- I can't believe this- he-he touched me on the face. I couldn't look at him. I stood up and ran out of there as fast as I could. I don't know what to do..."

"What do you do? I tell you what you do, you report the bastard as fast as you can. He is a total scum. He can't treat you like that. Come on Felicity, you know that. I can't believe you have been going through this. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know, I don't think I really realized what was going on. I mean, I kept thinking it was nothing and I was imagining things. And then he would do something, like give me this big compliment and I'd get to feeling- I don't know..."

"Dirty? Uncomfortable?"

"Yeah, very uncomfortable," she sighed, looking at her friend. "Thank you. I knew you would understand."

"I'm glad you told me, but you can't feel bad about this. You didn't do anything wrong. It was all him. He's like the scum of the earth and you need to turn him in. Like that girl last year turned in McGrath."

"I don't know, I can't do that. I mean, he is my professor. I should just talk to him..."

"Talking to him, that won't cut it. He is mistreating you. Felicity, come on, you came over here in tears. You know what you need to do," she paused, taking Felicity's hand. "Look at me. Listen, I will go with you. So you don't have to do this alone. I know it may not seem possible, that this is even happening, but it is. And you have to stand up for yourself. I mean, this is harassment. It's a crime."

"A crime? I don't know, Elena. I just don't think he means to be this way.."

"Felicity, I love you, you know that. But you have always been way too naïve. You can have all the faith in the world in other people, like Ben and your friends, but this guy doesn't deserve it. Just think about how you've been feeling. How he's made you feel."

Felicity paused, thinking it over some in her mind. "I guess you're right. I mean, when I am in the studio I feel like I can't even concentrate sometimes because I am afraid he will walk in. I don't want to be around him and I feel so weird with Ben sometimes. Like what if he knew, what would he think."

"You haven't told him then?"

"No, I haven't told him. How can I? He'd just want to beat him up or something and he can't handle any more stress. He is overloaded as it is."

"Felicity, that's bull. He's your boyfriend, let him be there for you. You do it all the time for him. Look at how you've stood by him, with what is going on with his parents and all. He'd want to be here for you. You've gotta tell him."

"I know, I will. I just can't do it right now. I wanted to come talk to you about it first. I don't know what to do next."

"What you do now is go home and get some rest. And take a nice bath to calm down a bit. And then tomorrow you and I will go to the counselor's office at school and turn this bastard in."

Felicity laughed, grabbing Elena for a hug. "Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You're welcome. You've helped me through a lot, too. That's what friends are for. And I gotta say, I'm glad you told me and not Meghan. She'd take off right now to do a spell to make his balls fall off or something."

Felicity laughed again, grateful for her friend's support.

Meanwhile, Ben was shaking his head in disbelief as he walked home from his paramedic shift. I can't believe how much of a moron I am. I am in so much trouble. He continued to battle himself as he walked, going over and over in his mind what he had just done. I can't believe how stupid I am. What is Felicity going to think? He shook his head. What will she even care? She's too busy carrying on with that....no, no, no! She is not doing that. I'm just exhausted and stressed out, I need to calm down. As he approached their apartment door, he began to take several deep breaths so he did not appear as worked up as he actually was. I don't want her to see me like this. I am just going to ask her point blank....

When he opened the door, he heard tears coming from inside. He closed his eyes and willed himself forward. He moved further into the room and found Felicity lying on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her. She sat up when she heard him step into the room.

"Oh, hey. I'm sorry, I was going to have something ready to eat for when you got home..."

Ben hesitated and didn't move as quickly as he should have to her side, feeling a bit afraid of the reason for her tears. "Hey, what's – what's going on? Why- why are you crying?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I just had a bad day. I'll be okay. How was work?" She said, trying to compose herself because she did not want to overwhelm him right away when he got home. She promised herself not to do that. He's been through so much, she thought.

"You don't seem okay to me. Are you sure there isn't something you want to talk about?" Ben inched his way over to the couch, finally seating himself beside her.

"No, it's okay..."

"I mean, you seem upset. Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No. Why are you asking me these weird questions? I am fine, I told you that. What's the matter? Yyou seem all tense or something. Did something happen?"

"No, I want to hear about you," Ben replied, with tension in his voice

"Ben, what is wrong? Did something happen at work?"

"No, nothing happened."

"Yes, something did, I can tell" she paused. "Why can't you tell me these things? We aren't talking as much as we were. I don't even know what is going on with your work. Or with your dad. I miss talking to you."

"Can you please stop it!" Ben said in a tone that was harsher than he meant as he stood up. "I know you feel like I am not talking to you enough, but I am doing the best that I can. I told you that before. I can only do so much. I'm tired of feeling like I am disappointing you."

"Ben, what- what are you..."

"Is all this why –why you got with that Cavallo guy?"

"What? I – I..."

"Trevor's girlfriend saw you, she saw you two talking about some party or something and you were all close or whatever. What's going on? I mean, are you....I can't even say it."

"What? Ben you think I am....oh my god, you are so wrong. You have no idea." She sat down and put her hands over her face, falling into tears.

Ben sat down beside her heavily. He touched her on the top of her head, feeling himself soften as he watched her dissolve into tears. "I'm sorry, I am. I shouldn't think like that, but I just- I don't know. I was just worried it was true."

"Ben, how can you think that?" she raised her head up to look at him. "I would NEVER cheat on you. I can't even believe you would think that. Besides, you have no idea what is really going on. You have no idea..." her voice trailed off as she looked down at her lap as tears fell down her face.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all that. Please look at me," he said, lifting her face to look into her eyes. "Please tell me what is happening. Tell me."

"Oh, Ben, I don't even know how to tell you this. I don't want you to worry, I can take care of it..."

"Felicity, please just tell me what has you so upset. I'm sorry I overreacted. What? What is it?"

Felicity hesitated, looking down for a moment. "I don't know. Everything got so screwed up. I mean, I've been working with Cavallo on these projects. And- and it was okay, but he started acting kind of weird."

"Weird how?"

"He- he started touching me, like on the shoulder or whatever, and making these big compliments about my work in front of class, and about how beautiful I am..."

"What?" Ben said with mounting alarm in his voice. "Felicity, what happened? Did he hurt you?"

"No, no, nothing like that. He just makes me uncomfortable, you know. I just tried to ignore it, or I thought maybe I was imagining things, but then, tonight, he..he...he kissed me on the top of my head, and he tried...he tried to touch me.."

"Felicity, what- why didn't you tell me?" he said as he touched her hand with his own, gently rubbing his thumb over it.

"I don't know, you have so much going on..."

"Felicity, you are the most important person in my life. You come before everything else, you know that."

"I know, I know that. And that means so much to me. I don't know, Ben. I guess I am just sort of embarrassed, I mean how could I be so stupid."

"Why are you embarrassed? You didn't do anything wrong. He was harassing you. You have no reason to feel bad."

"I know, I mean I understand that now. But I think I just wanted him to respect me and my work, and I have such admiration for him as an artist, I just couldn't believe this was happening. But I know I have to do something about it."

"Yeah, you do. We both do."

"Ben, you don't need to do anything. This is for me to handle. Elena and I, we will go and...."

"No, that is good. I mean, you should turn him in. But I am also going to have to kick his ass for doing this to you. I seriously want to go rip his head off right now, for making you feel like this."

Felicity laughed for the first time since Ben got home. "Rip his head off? I don't think he deserves that."

"You think I'm joking? I'm not. I will kick this guy's ass." He said with a slight smile, as he noticed her start to relax.

"Ben, please. You don't need to get in a fight with him. I thank you for wanting to be my hero, but I can handle this. I am just glad I told you about it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"Me, too. I hate to think of you going through this all alone," he looked at her and saw she had calmed down some. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Listen to me for a second, I know that things are tough around here sometimes, and I work a lot. And studying takes up a lot of my time. But I want you to remember something." He turned her face to his, so he could look into her eyes. "I meant what I said earlier, you are the most important person in my life. I hate to think that all of this was going on and you felt you couldn't tell me. I want you to always tell me things. I know I am not always so good at that myself, and I am working on it, I am. But you have to tell me things. I don't want you to go through stuff without me. You- you have no idea how much your support has meant to me. I wouldn't be doing all this, all the pre-med stuff without you. I want to be there for you, too. Okay?"

"Okay," she whispered, looking intently at him as he continued.

"I'm sorry that you went through all this, that you had to deal with this. I hate that dick has hurt you. I can't stand for you to be hurt. But we will figure this out. We will. It's going to be okay."

"I know," she replied, reaching out to touch his face lovingly. "Thank you for everything, for what you just said. For listening to me."

Ben smiled sweetly at her. "I love you. You know that."

"I love you, too."

Ben leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. Then they touched foreheads and both breathed sighs of relief. This misunderstanding was behind them. "Do you want to go to bed now?" Ben whispered.

"That sounds perfect," she replied. They put the bed down from the wall and laid down, with Ben's arms wrapped tightly around her. He whispered how much he loved her and she felt herself relax, once again comforted by his love.