Chapter 32

Felicity sat waiting for Ben to get home, folding and unfolding her hands anxiously. She had no idea how, or even if, she would tell Ben her concerns about possibly being pregnant. Maybe I should just wait and make sure first. I don't want to worry him for no reason. She leaned her head back on the sofa and sighed. I'm sure it's nothing. I will get my period tomorrow, and all this worrying will be for nothing. At least I hope so. Because this is the last thing we need right now……

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the key turn in the door, and then Ben entered their apartment calling her name. She stood up quickly, and pulled at her shirt, trying to compose herself.

"Hey there. How are you?" Ben said as he came toward her and leaned to give her hug. Instantly he could tell something was on her mind. "Hey, what's wrong? You seem like you're worried or something," he asked as he patted her on the back.

She hugged him tightly and replied, "No, there's nothing wrong. I was just sitting here missing you, that's all."

He moved so he could look at her face, studying it for any sign that she was hiding something. "You sure?"

She nodded, then smiled at him. "Yes, I am sure. Isn't a wife allowed to miss her husband?"

"Wow, I still can't quite get used to that word. Wife," he replied as he touched her face lovingly.

She leaned in to his touch, "Well, you better get used to that word because I'm afraid it's a permanent thing. When we got hitched, it was for life."

"Oh, that's just fine by me. I wouldn't have it any other way," he grinned. He leaned in and kissed her on the nose. It was becoming a habit of his lately, and it always made her blush. This time was no different.

She smiled, putting her head to his for a moment. "So, how was your day?"

"Oh, it was good. I talked to Dr. Pavone," he replied as he took off his coat.

"Oh? How did that go?"

"Oh, you know, she psychoanalyzed me, as always," he replied with a smirk. "It was quite fun actually. I sat there letting her tell me what to do, and what I was doing wrong with my life. It was the best."

"Yeah, right," she laughed. "I know it wasn't that simple."

"No, it wasn't. You're right."

"So, how did it go really? Was it helpful?"

Ben pulled her to him, as they fell back on the couch. They both laughed, as Felicity moved to sit next to him. "Oh yes, it was helpful. She made me dead certain I don't want to be a psychiatrist."

"Ben! Seriously, how did it go? I hope she wasn't too horrible. I remember how tough she was on me, I hated her at first."

"Yeah, but then you realized she was right. Isn't that how it went?"

She smiled. "Yes, exactly."

"Well, it was the same for me," he said softly, as he ran his fingers down her neck. "She made me see how lucky I am to have you."

"Me? You talked about me?" she asked with surprise.

"Of course we did," he replied.

"Really? I didn't think you'd be talking about me. I thought you'd talk to her about your dad…."

"Yeah, we did that, too. But it came back to you, as it always does."

"It always does? How?"

"Well, let's see. It's probably because you're the single most important person in my life," he said, leaning in for a kiss.

She kissed him back. "Ben….that is so sweet."

"Ugh, that is the same thing she said. That I'm sweet, and a better person than I think I am."

"Wow, she said that? Good for her. I've been trying to tell you that since freshman year…."

"Yeah, I know," he replied with a shy smile.

She smiled back. "So, it sounds like it went well. I was worried you'd hate me for suggesting it."

"No, I don't hate you. That would never happen," he shook his head. "You're way too beautiful."

He leaned in and kissed her thoroughly. When they came up for air, he whispered huskily, "So, are we going to sit here talking all night or can we move on to more…..physical activities?"

She giggled, as he inched his hand up her shirt. "I'd love to," she whispered. With that, he leaned her down on the couch, and showered her with kisses. Talking to him about her worries would just have to wait……

-------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Felicity went out and bought a pregnancy test. She was so nervous, so nervous, in fact, she wasn't even sure she could take it. She had left Ben asleep in their bed.

She opened the door of their apartment, and found that Ben had been awake for some time. She could smell homemade pancakes cooking on the stove.

"Hey," she called out.

"Hey," he said from the kitchen. "Where did you go off to so early this morning?"

"Oh, I actually went to the store to get us breakfast." She came into the kitchen, and leaned to give him a kiss on the cheek. "But these pancakes look a lot better than the doughnuts I got."

"Don't say that yet, you haven't tried them. They may taste like dirt," he said with a self-conscious smile.

"Oh, that is impossible. You're the best cook there is," she teased.

"Hey, I know I suck at most things, but I think I made some pretty good pancakes here. At least I hope so. I think I will let you try them first, just to be sure."

"Oh? Like the time you didn't warn me when Sean made me taste that awful milkless cereal?"

Ben laughed, "Oh God, that was so much fun. I loved the look on your face."

She swatted him on the butt. "Hey, that's not funny."

"Sorry," he replied, leaning to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, you should be," she said with mock seriousness. "Give me a minute. I will be right back," she said as she moved towards the bathroom.

"Sure. Don't take too long, or I might eat all of these myself."

-------------------------------------------------------------

Later, after they finished their breakfast, Ben headed to the bathroom while Felicity worked on the dishes. She was standing there washing the skillet when she heard him come up behind her.

"Felicity, why did you buy this?"

Before she even turned around, she knew what he was holding in his hand. Dammit, I thought I hid that thing. She turned and looked at his hand, then up at his face. "Where did you find that?"

"I needed to get my nail clipper out of the drawer and it was in there," he replied slowly.

"Oh," she said simply. I have no idea what to say, she thought she stared at the floor.

"Felicity, why did you buy it? Are- are you pregnant?"

She brought her eyes back to his and whispered, "I might be."

"Really? But how? I mean, I know how, but I thought we were being careful. Are you sure?"

She put the dishrag back on the sink and moved closer towards him. "No, I'm not sure. I haven't taken the test yet."

"Well, why did you buy it? I mean, you must have reason to think…."

"Because my period is about six days late," she said softly. "I'm sorry, Ben. I didn't mean for you to find this way. I wanted to be sure before I said anything to you."

"Felicity, you don't have to apologize. I just- I can't believe it. I really thought we were being careful…."

"I know. Me, too. But birth control isn't 100 effective," she replied, looking at him intently. "It isn't that bad, is it? I mean, that we may be pregnant?"

"What? No, I mean, I guess not. I mean, you know I want to have kids with you. Just now….it's not….."

"Yeah, I know. It's not the right time. I know," she said sadly.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you," he said as he took her into her arms. "It may not be the right time, but if you're pregnant, we'll be okay."

"Really? You're not upset then?" she asked softly.

He came out of the hug, and grasped her hands in his. "What? No, of course I'm not upset. We don't even know if you're pregnant or not yet."

"Yeah, I know. I was just worried what you would think."

"I know, and I will admit this does worry me a bit. But we just have to wait and see and if you're pregnant, we'll deal with it."

"Deal with it?" she asked questioningly.

"That's not what I meant. You know that. I just mean, things will have to change around here, that's all."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed heavily, moving towards the couch. "I don't know. I guess I was just thinking that if we're having a baby, I'd have to quit school and get a…..

"What? No, Ben. You would not have to quit school. That will not happen. It's too important to you…."

"Felicity, if we're having a baby, there is no way we can afford for me to be in school. It just doesn't make sense. I mean, I'd have to provide for you and the baby. I'd have to work."

She sat down beside him, and placed her hand on his knee. "Ben, slow down. We don't even know if I am pregnant. And if I am, what about me? Can I not work, too? We're a family. We do things together."

Ben sighed. "I know. You're right. I think…I don't know. I guess I am getting a bit ahead of myself. I just can't believe this is happening."

"Me either. I didn't plan on this, you know."

Ben touched her hand with his, "Yeah, I know." As he rubbed her hand with his own, he began to calm down a bit. He knew he had overreacted a bit. It was just too much for him right now. What kind of dad would he be?

"Look, maybe I should just go see what this test says. It won't take too long, just a couple of minutes."

"Yeah, yeah. That's probably a good idea. See if we even have anything to worry about…or celebrate," he added with a small smile.

She smiled back. "Okay, give me a few minutes."

She got up and went into the bathroom. She decided she was too nervous to sit with Ben while she waited for the test results. Besides, she could tell that he needed some time to think. She hoped he would be happy, no matter what.

Ben heard the bathroom door open, and stood quickly. He moved toward her, and looked at her face closely. "Well?" he asked softly.

She brought her eyes to his, "We're pregnant."

He smiled.