Stuck!

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Chapter Three: Mini-McKay

"Colonel, did you bring the wee terror with you?" Beckett asked over his shoulder as he and Biro collected blood tubes and various vacutainer needles from open shelves.

Dr. Biro held her tongue as she watched her boss squint his eyes in discomfort as he gazed over shoulder into the brighter section of the infirmary.

Ronon stood beside Teyla's bed. The Athosian lay curled quietly on her side under a thin crocheted hospital blanket. Her long white hair splashed in unruly tangles over the pillow to blend almost seamlessly with the white sheets of the bed. Her eyes were closed in near sleep and the deep lines that crossed her face lessened, smoothing away some of the shallower wrinkles that had creased her once beautiful features.

"I'm right here," A small irritated voice piped up unseen somewhere beside Sheppard's hip. "Not like I'm going anywhere fast."

"Come on, McKay, let's not keep Beckett waiting," Sheppard sing-songed, keeping hold of the back collar of the scientist's oversized coat and directing him none to gently around the infirmary beds toward the back section where the others waited.

"I can walk on my own, thank you very much," Rodney spat as he tried to wrestle his way free of Sheppard's grip while still trying to keep his pants bunched in one pudgy fist.

"His mouth has not shrunken any," Ronon noted from beside Teyla's bed.

"Luck is fickle," Beckett offered. The doctor narrowed his eyes as he stared at Sheppard's pockets. "Colonel? Are those Rodney's socks in your pocket?"

"He kept tripping over them," Sheppard smiled and ruffled McKay's head much to the annoyance of scientist, "and we don't want the little guy here to fall down and hurt himself."

Beckett let out a quick breath and shook his head. "Oh God, no, not that," he hastily agreed.

"I can hear, you know," Rodney snapped back. He tossed an awkward elbow at Sheppard in attempt to free himself of the larger man's hold. The colonel merely twisted the coat collar a little tighter, easily manipulating McKay's much smaller frame to such an angle that the elbow missed.

"Eh, eh, eh, Rodney," Sheppard warned, "or you'll get a time out."

Beckett and Biro chuckled as they put their gathered supplies on a tray. The double boarded pathologist/ internist noted the CMO's squinting.

"Head bothering you, Carson?" Biro asked in a quiet whisper in an attempt to keep the conversation between them at the moment.

"Aye, wee bit of a headache, jist in the background, nothin' serious," he replied, not raising his eyes from the cart as he started pushing it toward the others.

Biro, a step behind, merely nodded, not believing a word of it.

"Up you go, Rodney," Sheppard chuckled as he reached down and lifted McKay onto one of the beds.

"I could've done it myself," McKay harrumphed, crossing his arms indignantly over his chest and slouching into the jacket, nearly disappearing from view within the folds of the coat.

"He's going to need clothes," John said, leaning against Teyla's bed, facing McKay.

"Aye, that may be a problem; I don't know of anyone on Atlantis the size of our Little Rodney." Beckett let a full dimpled grin spread across his whiskered face as McKay glared back at him.

"He's almost likable when he's angry," Ronon pointed out.

"Bite me," McKay snapped back.

"Best be careful, Rodney," Beckett warned, "You are about bite size yourself."

"He is, isn't he?" Sheppard turned his head to the side scrutinizing the astrophysicist. "He's kind of like a mini-Milky Way or mini-Snickers," Sheppard offered.

"Mini-McKay," Beckett helpfully filled in following the natural progression of the thought.

Sheppard snapped his fingers, "Yeah, a mini-McKay." The Colonel stared at the shrunken Canadian, "Miniaturized McKay." Sheppard furrowed his brow in concern. "Damn you've got a huge melon on your shoulders." The colonel turned his attention to the two doctors. "Are you sure his neck can support that monstrous cantaloupe head of his?"

"Oh please, will you stop, just stop," Rodney snapped. "Stop enjoying this so much! Carson, aren't you suppose to be running tests or some other voodoo magic?"

"Aye, of course, but you know it's been a few years since my stint in pediatrics." Carson tapped his lab coat pockets. "I don't think I have any lollies to give you, Rodney."

Rodney narrowed his eyes, wrinkling his brow and unconsciously raising his upper lip in a snarl as he glared balefully at the doctor.

"Ahh, Doc, I don't think that'd be necessary," Sheppard offered. "I doubt Rodney here knows how to behave."

"Oh, right, probably true." Beckett rubbed at his forehead closing his eyes for a second.

Dr. Biro stepped forward. "We are going to draw a couple of vials of blood from you, um, Dr. McKay, Teyla and Carson." The pathologist smiled hesitantly, tripping over McKay's title.

McKay studied her warily. "You're a pathologist. Are you even capable of pulling blood from a living soul?"

"Not to worry, Rodney," Beckett answered. "if Dr. Biro can't hit a peripheral vein, she can always do a cardiac stick." Carson smiled congenially. "Pathologists are very good with those." He picked up a tube, tourniquet and vacutainer needle from the cart and headed toward Teyla.

Biro gathered similar supplies and started toward McKay.

"No…wait…wait," Rodney's panicked voice suddenly rose an octave higher, assuring everyone that he was truly prepubescent. He shuffled back on the gurney trying to create distance between himself and the approaching pathologist. The legs of his pants draped over his feet and dangled toward the floor.

"What now, Rodney?" Sheppard asked tiredly.

"Biro touches dead people." McKay's lower lip started to quiver. "I want Carson." A slight tremor rippled his voice nearly matching the unconscious movement of his lower lip.

Sheppard, Beckett, Biro and Ronon all shared concerned glances. What the...?

McKay pulled his knees up to his chest, his bare feet hidden by the absurdly long pant legs. He hugged his arms around his knees, cinching his legs securely to his chest in the tight fashion that only the very young and flexible could achieve. Wide blue eyes darted nervously from person to person.

The others stared back at him mutely.

"Carson?" he pleaded in a frightened, panicked whisper. McKay looked very much the four-year-old ready to break down or bolt or maybe both.

"Alright, Rodney, it's alright, I can do it." Carson hid his concern over the strange reaction and smiled kindly at McKay, who was peering back at him with frightened blue eyes over the collar of his oversized coat. In the background, Biro headed over to Teyla's side to do the same.

"I'll be as quick as I can, you won't feel a thing," Beckett promised McKay, using the same tone and comforting words he used when treating children in both the Pegasus galaxy and his home world.

Beckett held out his hand palm up waiting for McKay to volunteer his arm so blood could be drawn. Carson offered a sincere smile, encouraging the 'child' to willingly extend his arm.

Rodney slowly unlatched his hand from his other wrist and cautiously stretched out his left hand.

Carson, still smiling, held the soft, pale hand in his own seemingly large hand. He pushed the coat sleeve back revealing the milky white, clean skin of a child's forearm. "See, Rodney, nothing to worry over." Beckett started talking softly, letting his accent thicken, knowing that it oftentimes soothed those not used to hearing it often. He explained every step of the procedure as if McKay had never been through it before. Carson kept an eye on Rodney, watching the wide blue eyes that followed his every movement while continuing his soft litany.

Beckett silently cursed as he waited for any sign of a small blue vessel to bugle its way to the surface. Baby fat was a wonderful camouflage for peripheral vessels.

"Colonel," Beckett called casting a quick glance over his shoulder. He shut his eyes as flash of vertigo swamped him. Pain spiked behind his eyes. He caught his breath and slowly eased it out, "would you...?"

"Oh sure," Sheppard stood up from the foot of McKay's gurney and worked to distract the frightened 'child' from the potential blood draw.

Sheppard had to give Carson credit, the colonel never saw the needle or blood tube or even notice Rodney flinch. But within a few seconds Beckett was releasing the tourniquet and patting Rodney's knee. "All done."

"Jeez, thanks, Carson," McKay bit out in his usual caustic satire. "I might have missed the obvious."

Beckett and Sheppard stared uneasily at one another.

"We'll get these run." Carson held up the different colored topped blood tubes. "You might want to start trying to find our little bairn here a set of clothes that fit." Beckett smiled at McKay testing the waters.

Rodney snarled back at him promising retribution for when this was over.

A sense of relief washed briefly over the others.

"Jinto," Teyla's shaky voice croaked from her bed, drawing all eyes toward her, "Halling's son may have some smaller clothes, or his young friend, Kimon may have some. Kimon has a baby brother not much older than Dr. McKay now." Teyla sunk further into her pillow trying to catch her breath.

"Alright, we can handle that." Sheppard let his worried gaze travel from Teyla's supine form to Ronon back to Beckett and Biro. "When should we be back?"

"Give us a little over an hour," Carson said.

Sheppard nodded. "Come on, Rodney, time to go beg clothes so we don't scare people with your pearly white, bald ass."

"Shut up," McKay snorted and slid off the table, holding fast to the top of his pants with a knotted fist that dimpled over his knuckles. He slid to the ground with the legs pooled around his feet, and quickly fell to the ground. The coat sleeves swallowed his hands as he pushed himself up, glaring at the smirking Sheppard when the colonel made no move to help this time.

"Ach, hold on a moment." Carson handed the blood tubes to Biro and then moved in front of Rodney. "Ya gonna end up killing ya self tripping over your own clothing." Beckett squatted down and began rolling the pants legs up. Soon thick rolled cuffs ended just above Rodney's unmarred bare feet. "Don't forget shoes," Carson said. He then rolled the cuffs back on McKay's coat. "There, that should do you for a bit." Beckett smiled encouragingly, still squatting and staring eye level at the astrophysicist.

"I really dislike you right now."

"Aye, that's okay, Rodney. You're too cute for me to care." With that, Carson gently pinched McKay's pudgy cheek with the sole intention to annoy and succeeding magnificently.

"Oh, quit that!" McKay slapped Beckett's hand away and stormed around the CMO and headed for the infirmary door.

"Let's go, Colonel." McKay raised a hand and snapped his fingers, not even turning his head to see if he was being followed. "Let's hustle-we have things to do, people to meet and all that other crap."

Sheppard stared down at Beckett who remained squatted on the floor. "He is still amazingly annoying," he sighed, heading across the room following the little tyrant.

"Aye," Beckett agreed softly. He rested his head in his hand while holding onto the gurney McKay had just vacated to keep his balance.

"Say, huh, Doc." Sheppard turned at the door and stared back at Carson who still squatted on the floor. "He's ahh, um-well-he's-Rodney's um…"

"Just spit it out, Colonel. Rodney's what?" Beckett asked tiredly.

"He's toilet trained and all that, isn't he? I mean at his age, he should be." Sheppard spoke with true fear.

Carson chuckled lightly, resting his head heavily in his hand. "Aye, I should hope so, but you'll be the second to know." Beckett paused and then added, "Just don't get him too overtired or you'll have a sopping mess on your hands."

"Oh, this just gets better and better. See you in about an hour." With that Sheppard headed out the door with the shrilling voice of McKay ordering him once again to hurry.

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A/N: As a Genii Commander, I would like to offer you a suggestion. Leave me reviews. It would be in your best interest.