I feel I should warn you that this is about the dumbest thing I have ever written. Seriously, it's pathetic. Blame the plot bunny, it demanded humor in blood so I had to comply.

Dedication: For Don, who is currently serving as a medic in Kirkuk, Iraq and the best cook I know.

Warnings: Messy. Very very messy, and dirty and very dumb things one after another. It's sad, really. You have been warned!

I mean no disrespect for anyone or anything portrayed in this story, namely Aragorn's ring Barahir or Arwen in general. It's just random, really, really random. Randomisity is really dangerous in the hands of a very random person like yours truly!

I'm not trying to scare anyone away from the culinary arts, but most of these events have actually happened to me and the rest come from mine, my sister's, and her friends' warped imaginations. Please attempt to enjoy and don't take too much pleasure in deleting this later LOL. Thanks!

Hopefully, if anything, this'll give you a good laugh.

Ada's Special Green Cake

Weary, Lord Elrond of Rivendell walked down the halls toward his own room. The past few days' events had been tiring, and more than anything he wanted to get off his feet for a while and take some time to think.

Aragorn had returned home and that news alone made his heart swell with joy. It had been years since Estel had stayed under the roof of Imladris and to have him here in these dark days helped greatly. But what Aragorn had brought home with him was not unseen but expected and even encouraging if dire.

Four hobbits. Who would have thought Aragorn would travel with such beings? Elrond sat down at his large desk and pulled out a book well worn from a drawer and into his lap. One of the hobbits had been gravely injured and already carrying a great burden. Elrond himself and Mithrandir had spent the past few days struggling to heal the dreadful blow young Frodo had taken from a Nazgul, but the danger was past now and the hobbit resting comfortably.

Flipping through the worn pages of the old journal, Elrond suddenly turned to a particular event that took place nearly sixty years before. Smiling at the memory, recalling it just like it had happened yesterday, Elrond lost himself in his writing.

Arwen had come home for a visit just days before while the twins were on a hunting trip, and Aragorn had reunited with Legolas just that day. All was peaceful and calm, nothing bad had happened since Aragorn himself had returned from training with the Rangers. It was the perfect atmosphere, to good to last long, a sure-fire way to welcome mischef to knock on the door . . .

Flashback 60 years, Imladris

Arwen wandered the halls aimlessly. She had arrived to Rivendell to visit her father and twin brothers a while before, but currently nothing was happening.

Prince Legolas of Mirkwood had arrived that day to visit his old human friend. Reunited, the two buddies had spent the evening catching up, and now were like Arwen waiting for something to do.

Arwen began to search them both out, finding them in Lord Elrond's study. Legolas was reading in a large armchair, and Aragorn was next to him in another chair, sound asleep.

"Hello Legolas." Arwen quietly greeted the elf prince. Legolas shut his book and turned to her.

"Hello Arwen." Arwen walked up the man next to him and knelt, placing one hand on his arm.

"How long has he been asleep?"

Legolas laughed. "A while now. You could say he was incredibly interested in what I had to tell him."

"Well, come on." Arwen said. "Let's wake him up. I'm bored, and I know you both are too. I think I know what we can do until Ada comes back."

Elrond had left that day with a few others to gather herbs and was expected to return soon.

"What's that?" asked Legolas, suddenly wary. If Arwen heard the hesitance in his voice she ignored it, and softly shook the ranger awake.

"Estel! Estel, wake up!" Aragorn's eyes were immediately open, and he grinned as he recognized Arwen's face and voice.

"Mmm, hey Arwen."

"Aragorn, since I know you aren't really doing anything" she smiled as Legolas snorted away a laugh. "Do you want to come help me bake something for Ada?"

Aragorn sat up in his chair and yawned slightly. "Bake what?"

"Oh, I don't know, I was thinking a cake."

"A cake?" Aragorn shot Legolas a look, and the prince only shrugged. "You want me to help you cook?"

Legolas was grinning again, and Arwen nodded her head. "Yes."

"Uhh, Arwen? I don't think you want me to help you make a cake. I'm not really very good at cooking anything except, well, meat…"

Legolas was trying hard not to laugh, and Arwen only shook her head at him. "Come on, Aragorn, you can't be that bad…"

"You want to bet on that?"

"No."

Legolas was chuckling in his hands behind Arwen, and Aragorn was smiling rather widely at his friend. Arwen saw the exchange and turned to face Legolas.

"What's so funny?"

Legolas managed to regain control, but with a large smile on his face said, "I think you'd better believe him. He doesn't do too well in those kitchens. I'm sure Elladan and Elrohir could give you some great stories. I know a few of them myself."

Aragorn suddenly shot the elf a warning look, but it only increased the amused look on Legolas' face.

"For instance, there was this one time when Aragorn was about seven, and Elrohir was poisoned and confined to bed. So Estel"

"Legolas"

"decided that Elrohir needed something special to help him sleep"

"Legolas!"

"So he mixed"

"Legolas!" Legolas stopped and turned innocent eyes on the ranger who looked almost panicked. "Let's leave that past-time were it belongs."

Legolas shook his head, smiling deeply, and settled with, "I'll just say Elrohir didn't get the desired sleep Estel intended to give him. Spent what, the next week unable to sleep at all?"

Aragorn groaned. "I knew I was in trouble when Elladan told you that story!"

Arwen smiled slightly at the banter, and once again turned to Aragorn with her usual look of grace and eyes flickering with excitement. "Come on Aragorn, Legolas and I will help you."

"Wait a second," Legolas turned to face her entirely, shock on his face. "You want me to help too?"

"Why not? You've got something better to do?"

"Well, I"

"I didn't think so. Come on, let's go. Ada's bound to be worn out, and he loves it when the cooks make cake, and that's not often anymore, I'm told." Arwen pulled Aragorn out of his chair and gave Legolas a sharp you-get-out-of-that-chair-before-I-make-you glare. The prince didn't hesitate to follow.

"Ok, fine, but under one condition."

Arwen turned and looked at him. "What's that?"

"The cake has to be green."

In the kitchens Arwen pulled out three aprons and tossed one to each of her companions. "Here, you're going to need these."

"Why?" both Aragorn and Legolas held their aprons and started at them like they were completely foreign to them. Arwen put hers on and looked up to find them both staring at her.

"Trust me; you're going to want them later if not now."

"That's nice, but I don't think I need one." Legolas tried to put the apron away, but Arwen stopped him.

"No, Legolas put it on. That's a really nice tunic!"

"No Arwen! I don't need one. I'm too graceful. I'll be fine."

Arwen rolled her eyes. "Right."

"I'll have to agree with Legolas, Arwen. I think we'll be fine." Aragorn tried to put his away too, but Arwen blocked him.

"Ok, what's your excuse?"

"These are so girly!"

Arwen glared fiercely at him. "What!"

"Oh, uh…" Aragorn looked pleadingly at Legolas, who gave him a stunned look. "Legolas? A little help please?"

"I-I don't… that is…" Legolas looked like he wanted to crawl away. But suddenly Aragorn got an idea.

"You know what? We'll wear them." As if to prove his point, he hastily slipped the apron over his head and tied it in place. Legolas did the same.

Arwen was still glaring at them. "Good." She glowered at them for a moment before turning away and pulling out ingredients and mixing bowls.

"Hey you two, can you get out the flour and the eggs?"

Aragorn headed for the cupboards with Legolas right behind him. Reaching inside he searched for the flour bags while Legolas got the eggs. After searching for the bag for a few minutes, he looked at Arwen.

"Where is the flour?"

Arwen pulled out a large mixing bowl and several spoons. "In the middle, on the right, I think."

Right where Arwen said it was, Aragorn found sugar, flour, and baking power. He looked at them carefully for a moment, having no idea which one was flour, and finally grabbed the one on the left of the three.

"Did you get it?" Arwen asked as he walked up next to her and set the bag on the counter.

"Uh… yup, I did." Legolas walked up and gently set down an armload of eggs.

"Legolas, you know you could have just brought the whole container. It would have been easier." Legolas just shrugged.

After they had gotten all the ingredients mixed together Arwen gave Aragorn a spoon. "Mix everything together until it's all the same color, ok?" she turned to Legolas. "Come with me. I'm going to need your help getting the ovens going."

As she passed the counter that was groaning under all the weight of the cake contents, she stopped as she passed the bag Aragorn had called the flour, looking at it more carefully. "Aragorn," she said, pointing to the bag. "Are you sure this is flour?"

"Um, I think so." Aragorn stopped stirring and stared rather nervously at her and the bag. Arwen opened the neck and looked inside; about an instant later she looked up at him fiercely. "Aragorn! This is baking power!"

"It is?"

"Oh my…" Arwen walked firmly back to him and took the bowl away. "I'm going to go throw this out. Please, get the right bag this time!" She left the room.

Legolas turned around and headed for the cupboard so Aragorn wouldn't see him trying not to laugh. He had warned Arwen.

He helped Aragorn find the right bag this time, but the moment Aragorn picked it up the bottom ripped open and flour blew out in every direction, covering the two friends in seconds before they could even react.

Both of them didn't move for a moment, slight shock settling in. When Legolas turned to look at Aragorn, the human was looking at him with a completely straight face that lasted about three seconds. As for himself Aragorn was only lightly hit, the front of his tunic and hair stained white now, but Legolas was covered. The ranger burst into laughter.

Legolas knelt down and gathered large handfuls of flour, smiling as he quickly dumped it all on Aragorn's head.

And so began the intense flour fight.

By the time Arwen got back the kitchen was full of flying flour and ensuing laughter as both the elf and ranger threw handfuls of flour at his opponent and ducking as fast as possible behind a table before the return blow could fall.

"Guys!"

Laughing ceased, the flour settled, and both friends rose slowly from their hiding places, looking at Arwen sheepishly.

Arwen wanted to be angry at them, but one sight of the two white beings in front of her she burst out laughing.

"How-how old are y-you?" she choked out at them.

Aragorn smiled impishly at Legolas. "I'm younger than he is and he started it!"

He was rewarded with another handful of flour right smack in the face.

When they again got back to the original intent and again had all the right contents in the bowl, Arwen again gave Aragorn the mixing spoon and followed Legolas to the ovens. When they returned, Arwen was trying to clean up the mess they had made with the prince's help, and accidentally bumped a can of lids. The light-weight lids flew everywhere, including into the waiting bowl of cake mix.

"Whoa!" Aragorn immediately picked up the lids and tossed them in a basin of rinsing water nearby, but as he did so, his ring Barahir unknowingly fell off his finger and into the mix. He didn't know what had happened he and Legolas had been trying to help Arwen clean up and combine the batter together.

A few minutes later Aragorn stopped. "It's done."

Arwen nodded at Aragorn's accomplishment. "Good. Now we"

Legolas cut her off. "add the green food coloring!"

"Legolas," Arwen started, with the air of one trying not to whine. "Do we have to make it… green?"

"You promised."

"Fine." Arwen opened one cupboard door and pulled out a small bottle filled with a green liquid. She walked over next to Aragorn and unscrewed the top. "It only takes a few drops," she said as she squeezed. But there was a slight problem for the top was not pointed to the bowl, but right at an unsuspecting prince.

They all stood frozen, staring at Legolas' beautiful blonde hair, now streaked white with flour and now sported a few faint green streaks of green food coloring. Legolas finally reached up and touched the top of his head, and then looked at his hand.

It was green.

"Arwen." Arwen inwardly cringed at the sound of her name. "Yes?"

"This will… come out, right?"

"Um, yes… yes it will."

A pause. "Valar…"

"Umm… Aragorn, here," she carefully squirted the food coloring in the right way and quickly put away the bottle. She turned to the prince, who looked like he didn't know whether to laugh at her or kill her. "I'm sorry, Legolas."

Legolas looked at her for a moment and a grin quickly pushed its way to the surface. Then suddenly he laughed. Arwen managed to smile at him he did look rather ridiculous flour covered and now with the green streaks in his hair. Then behind them, a large snort of laughter erupted from the human, who took one look at the two of them and started laughing again.

With all of them still giggling, Arwen walked next to Aragorn and watched him try to mix and laugh at the same time. The batter was slowly turning from off-white golden color to green. Legolas watched the man from the other side with a large smile on his face. When Aragorn didn't stop chuckling, Arwen nudged him unexpectedly in the ribs. The move came as a complete surprise, and Aragorn's hand that held the spoon was suddenly in the air, flinging batter everywhere and smacking Legolas directly between the eyes, flooring the elf.

Aragorn turned around slowly and stared at the floor where the elf had fallen.

With one hand on his head where the spoon had smacked him, Legolas stared at the ranger and the elf-maiden above him. "I think I need to stay away from you two. You seem to be intent on disarming me right now."

Noting the sarcasm in the elf's voice, Aragorn smiled sheepishly and helped his friend rise. "Sorry about that. It's a good thing you've got such a hard head"

He ducked the smack aimed for his head and backed away, smirking.

"Ok, calm down!" Arwen jumped into the middle of them before Legolas could pursue, giggling a little again. She turned to the bowl and began working again.

Aragorn, now free of his job, walked over to the remainder of the mess and began to try and clean up. He picked up three eggs out of a clump of sugar and held them in one hand as he tried to sweep the sugar together with his free hand.

When he had finished that, he again looked at the three eggs in his hand and was hit with an unexpected idea. Carefully he began to juggle them high into the air.

"Aragorn, what are you doing?"

Aragorn smiled as Legolas and Arwen looked at him curiously. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm juggling."

"Yes, but… eggs?"

"Why not?"

Legolas walked over to the counter where the remaining eggs sat in waiting and picked them up. With an armload of the fragile shells, he walked in front of Aragorn and tossed one into Aragorn's hands.

"Hey!" moving quickly, Aragorn recovered, and began to juggle the new one as well.

"You know, it would be a shame if you-" Legolas tossed another one at Aragorn, "mess-" and another, "up-" and another-

"Legolas! Stop!" Aragorn barely managed to take over the extra load, which in end turned into him juggling a total of twelve eggs.

"Well, I'm impressed." Legolas watched Aragorn's juggling grow higher and higher, trying to reach the ceiling, eggs gently but forcefully being thrown upwards in strange but mesmerizing patterns. "How'd you learn that?"

"Halbarad." Aragorn was concentrating hard on his juggling, managing to throw out one word.

"Halbarad taught you that? How?"

"Huh?" the question was simple, but the second Aragorn tried to think about exactly what he was doing his concentration broke and his hands lost their grace. The eggs fell to the floor and splattered.

"Legolas!"

Legolas was stunned. The change had happened very fast. "What?"

"Why'd you ask me that?"

"Huh?"

"You can't ask me how I'm doing something while I'm doing it! You think I can answer you then?"

"So you're telling me that you don't know how you did it?"

"Well…" Aragorn paused, a small smile spreading over his face as he thought about it. "Yeah, I guess."

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Humans."

"Elves."

Arwen didn't comment; she didn't trust her voice. But as Legolas walked forward with a towel in hand to help Aragorn clean up the mess on the floor and ended up on his back in the goop, she began chuckling loudly again.

Legolas didn't react to Arwen laughing, but when Aragorn started he grabbed the ranger's leg and yanked him off balance, sending him down to the messy, sticky ground next to the elf.

Through his laughter Aragorn shoved Legolas aside as he tried to stand, but Legolas threw him off again by whacking his arm.

How Aragorn ended up near the china cabinet no one really knows, but no one could question the crash as the human fell backwards from Legolas into it from the egg splatters on the ground, sending delicate china pieces to shatter on the floor. Revenge was needed right after that.

Arwen had to run in and smack them both with a mixing spoon to get them to stop wrestling in the contents of twelve eggs. But she too ended up sliding on the ground and straight into the wire wine holder, making the tops pop out and the beverage spew out over all of them and everything else.

The three of them spent the next half hour cleaning it all up, but they couldn't get all the raw egg deposits off the backs of both the misfits.

Flour-covered, egg-splattered, green-cake batter-splashed, but now seriously infected with the need for fun, Aragorn suddenly clamped his hand on Legolas' arm. "Hey Legolas look," he pointed at one table close by. "Forks!"

"So?" Legolas wasn't looking any better. In most cases, he looked worse.

"Come on, you have to build a silverware tower with me!" Aragorn dragged the elf with him to the table and began sorting the eating utensils that had for some reason been dumped on the table and forgotten.

"Build a what?"

"Oh, don't tell me you've never made a tower made completely out of forks… and spoons… and knives…"

"No, it's not a memorable pastime"

"Then you're starting right now, you poor deprived Silvan elf…"

"I'm deprived?"

"Yes you are. Now come on! Come help me…"

Unwillingly but with a smile on his face, Legolas helped his crazy friend build a large tower made out of spoons, forks, and knives.

When Arwen finally finished mixing and pouring the green cake batter into an oven-safe bowl and turned around to see what her companions were doing, she burst out laughing.

The tower was already four feet high from off the ground and both Aragorn and Legolas were delicately trying to add yet another spoon and knife to the teetering jumble. Aragorn laid his knife down on the top and knelt, holding the tower steady as Legolas wove his spoon through the top layer.

"Arwen! Stop! You're making the ground shake!" For good measure Aragorn carefully tried to get a firmer grip on the tower while Arwen grabbed the countertop for support. Legolas finished placing his spoon and only smiled childishly at them both.

He found a fork under the table that had somehow escaped them and carefully placed it upright on the very top, then smiled as he and Aragorn backed away and admired their work.

Though they would probably never admit it, it was fun to make a silverware tower.

Now, so long as no one ever found out about it…

"C-come on, s-s-stop that!" Arwen gasped. "I-I don't belie-" her words dissolved into laughter again. To watch a twenty-year old human with a possible future as a King of Men and a proud elven prince behave like five year olds was far funnier than words.

"I'm glad we amuse you so easily, my lady," Aragorn said as he turned to pick up the two of the four remaining items on the table, now bare of its load of utensils four large bread knives.

"Hey Aragorn, I think those may be a bit heavy for this…" Aragorn cut the elf off by tossing one knife to him, a foot-long sharp bread knife.

Aragorn choose one for himself, a shorter but broader blade, and pointed vaguely toward Arwen, who had collapsed to the floor in her mirth.

"Come help me, there's a howling animal that must be put out of its misery," Aragorn winked and walked toward the figure on the ground. Arwen clapped her hand over her mouth to try and stop her laughter, but now that twenty-year-old was threatening her with a butcher knife.

Legolas jumped in front of Arwen and held his butcher knife out ready. He turned his head and smiled crazily at Arwen before addressing Aragorn. "No! I shall defend the fair lady!"

Arwen howled in mock fear behind them before again dissolving into giggles and attempting to stand.

Metal clashed and the fight of the butcher knives began, both friends mock-fighting expertly. It continued for several minutes as the two fighters worked their way around the room, raising a cloud of flour as they went.

Finally Arwen got fed up with being defended and picked one of the last knives that had been abandoned. "I don't need to be defended any longer!"

"Hey, unfair odds!" Aragorn ran back to the table as Legolas and Arwen began to pursue him together and snatched up the last butcher knife. With one 'enemy' on either side of him, Aragorn began to attack both.

"Good to be home, don't you think?"

"Ah yes, I can't wait to get to the kitchens, I'm starved!"

"But El! You just ate!"

"So? I'm still hungry. Besides, a week of your cooking is enough to make anyone want to starve"

SMACK

"Hey!"

"You are so" Elladan cut himself off as they entered the kitchens and into the battlefield. Both twins stopped walking, amazed.

Flour was flying everywhere, and in the thick of it all stood three almost unrecognizable figures that were fighting with… butcher knives? The kitchen was in shambles. Food was everywhere, an odd looking creation of silverware was on the floor, egg shells where stuck to the counter, the wine case had been knocked into and the beverage was mixed into the flour on the floor, delicate broken china pieces littered one corner, and a large bowl with some kind of green contents sat near a basin of rinse water.

What on Middle Earth?

"HEY, STOP!" Elladan yelled into the flour fog and Elrohir whistled loudly with his fingers. The white figures in the middle of the kitchen froze.

"What are you all doing!" the twins fought their way into the mess and towards the two elves and human in the middle, of whom still held their knives out ready, Legolas and Aragorn even had theirs touching in mid-clang.

Aragorn decided to clue his brothers in. "Well, that's quite a story…"

"Oh please Estel, do tell us." Elladan was trying hard to keep a straight face. When was the last time he had to reprimand any of the three of them?

"Yeah, and tell us why you were doing it while we weren't here!"

"What?" Elladan turned to his twin and stared at him.

Elrohir was grinning back at him. "They were having all the fun!"

"Care to join the fun?" Aragorn threw one of his knives to Elrohir.

"WHOA, hold on a second!" Elladan and Arwen said at once before Elrohir could even take a step.

Arwen took over. "As fun as this is, we really do need to get done!"

"Aww, Arwen"

"Oh no buddy, you stay right there!" Arwen stopped Aragorn and Elrohir from trying to continue the fight. "Let's finish before Ada gets home and then you all can have more fun, ok?"

"Oh, all right"

"Oh no, Arwen!" Aragorn suddenly looked up at the elf-maiden franticly.

"What's wrong?"

"My ring…" Aragorn held up one hand, his first finger bare of the ring with the emerald green jewel. "It's gone!"

"Well, where could it have" Arwen cut herself off mid-sentence as all five of them looked toward the bowl full of green cake mix. The same idea hit three of them at once.

"Arwen, what is that?" Elrohir and Elladan asked in unison as Arwen began to run for it, Aragorn at her heels.

"Cake mix."

"But it's green!"

"Yes I'm aware of that!" Arwen handed a large spoon to Aragorn, who immediately began to fish for the missing ring.

"It's supposed to be that color!"

Legolas wisely decided to remain silent.

After a few moments of searching, Aragorn lifted the spoon carefully and pulled something small and round out of the lump of batter. "I found it!"

"Oh good!" Arwen immediately snatched the bowl of cake mix away and headed for the ovens. "I'm putting this in before something else happens!"

"Looks like you all have had fun while we were gone." Elladan said to Legolas and Aragorn as Arwen disappeared.

"Nah, it's actually been rather mellow around here, until the last hour or so…"

"Come on Aragorn, we have to make frosting now"

"Oh no Legolas! Not something else to make!"

"This is easy, even for you my friend."

"Easy. When has any of this ever been easy?"

Elladan nudged Elrohir in the ribs. "Yeah, remember when he was seven?"

Elrohir flinched. "Yes."

Aragorn smiled apologetically at him. Legolas grabbed his arm. "Come on, let's get going. Really Estel, what else could go wrong?"

Aragorn shuddered.

Later

The frosting actually went smoothly, considering everything else that had already gone wrong. The instructions for frosting had been written on a card, so by the time Arwen got back Aragorn, Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir were half-way done with it.

When it was finished it was set aside and the five of them, even Elladan and Elrohir, pitched in to clean up. While cleaning, the twins got the full story of what had happened before they had come home.

"Cute Estel, I didn't think you would ever make another silverware tower"

"It was your idea to make the cake green? Where did that come from?"

"Arwen, since when do you like to cook? Especially cakes?"

"By the way, I love how all three of you are wearing aprons"

"Geez Legolas, what happened to your tunic? And your hair?"

"Are you sure Ada's going to like green cake?"

"Where you two really trying to kill Legolas?"

Aragorn groaned. "Great. I'm going to hear about this until my deathbed."

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Or until orcs start passing out flowers."

Arwen nudged them both. "You know, I do know stories about them as well"

Elladan cut her off with one sharp look while Elrohir stole a modest amount of the frosting and flung it at Arwen. It hit her between the eyes.

"Hey, no threatening the older brothers!" Elrohir told her with mock authority as she wiped the frosting off her face. Then smiling, she threw it back. Elrohir ducked and it hit Elladan on the cheek.

Legolas picked up the small bowl of frosting before anyone else could take more, but Elladan grabbed his arm and stole another handful, aiming for Elrohir but hitting Aragorn. The human swiped it all off and flung what he could back at Legolas.

… To make a long story short, the new fight didn't last long. The kitchen again was in shambles again with frosting everywhere, mixing in with whatever had not been cleaned up, and the frosting bowl was emptied over Elrohir's head.

Then Aragorn found an apple pie when he ducked into the cool room for cover and threw it at Arwen. Arwen saw it coming and got out of the way, so unhindered the pie sailed out the door and into the hallway.

SPLAT

"Yeeaaahhh!" a surprised cry came out from the hallway and a tall blonde-haired elf entered the kitchen blindly, pulling the pie plate and fruit off his face.

Poor Glorfindel.

Elrohir turned to Elladan, smiling slightly, trying to remove clumps of frosting from his hair. "Well, look on the bright side. At least I'm not hungry anymore."

That Night

When Elrond returned he knew something was up when he was escorted to the dinning hall and told to shut his eyes as all four of his children and Legolas set something "special" in front of him.

Elrond's eyes brightened considerably when the shuffling ended and a very sweet smell filled the room as he was allowed to see what was set before him.

"Is it supposed to be that color?"

Eyes brightened and nods came from the five faces around him.

"Really?" Elrond looked down at the cake before him and his smile became rather strained. "What kind of… cake is it?"

Aragorn pulled something long and orange from behind his back and drove it deep in the heart of the green cake.

"Carrot cake!" he proclaimed proudly.

Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas all burst out laughing. Arwen just stared wordlessly at the man. Elrond leaned his head against one hand and tried to hide the laughing smile that was threatening, but it didn't take long to come out in full color.

"Aragorn!"

"What? I knew this would be a good idea!"

"But… I… a carrot!"

Aragorn stared at Arwen. "Of course."

Arwen gave in and one hand went over her eyes before she knelt next to her father and finally let out a hearty giggle.

"I am never going to cook with a ranger and a… a prince again!" she told Elrond as she leaned her forehead against the side of his armrest, breathing heavily as she tried to halt her mirth. "This was awful! Next time we're getting a cook… or maybe I should call for a guard…"

"Oh no Arwen, Estel does even worse with guards on his back-"

"For goodness sake Legolas, how could it be worse?"

"Having someone breathing down his neck? Are you insane? He'd be about as helpful as a drunk-"

"Legolas!"

Elrond was completely useless, dissolved in laughter. "All of you! What am I going to do with you?"

Elladan tried to be helpful. "Teach them how to cook?"

"Like you know how, El…"

"I do!"

"Sure. What about the pastry you tried to make for mother on her birthday?"

"Hey, that was a mistake! It wasn't my fault someone had mixed up the green apple slices with those weird green peppers-"

"So are you going to help me eat this?"

"Uhh…"

"Erm…"

"Well, we did make it for you Ada…"

"And I shall be terribly insulted if you don't enjoy your own cooking with me!"

"Ok…"

"Wow, this green color is strange…"

"I don't know if I feel like opening my mouth…"

On the first mouthful, Elrohir began choking.

"Elrohir! Breathe!" Elladan pounded his twin on the back.

Once he was back under control, Elrohir looked at the others, appalled. "How-how much sugar is in this stuff?"

"Uh-oh…" Legolas, having not yet taken a bite, looked down at his piece nervously.

"Legolas?" Arwen asked at the elf prince. "How much did you put in after I left? It only needed a cup's worth."

"Well, that answers that question. The TSP thing threw me off so I had to guess…"

"Legolas, TSP means 'teaspoon'. What did you think it meant?"

"Ten Square Pints?"

"YUCK!" Elladan, Elrond, and Arwen all began spitting their green cake bites into napkins. No wonder Elrohir had nearly choked!

Aragorn shrugged and tried his own piece. "You know, this isn't half bad!" he proclaimed after a moment, smiling as he chewed thoughtfully.

The others just stared at him.

"Oh dear Valar save us… only a human…"

The End

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