Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling you say? Nay says I! Just an author trying a new style, I am. Sue me, you will not.

A/N: Okay, yes, I was in a very very very random mood when I wrote this. It's a parody of all L/J fanfiction. Including my own. It's not meant to be offensive or poke fun at anyone in any way shape or form. I repeat:

A parody. Not meant to be offensive.

Actually, most of it is there to amuse myself. I think it's funny. I'm not forcing you to. But please review, I hate begging, but it truly does help. Thankx!

It was a normal day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping happily in a perfectly pitched way, Lily Evans was moody, and James Potter was love-struck.

"Evans, I love you!" James exclaimed, a bouquet of roses in one hand.

"Bugger off Potter, I'm studying . . . and you're a toe-rag."

"But Evans, I love you!"

"But I don't love you . . . and you're a toe-rag." Lily lamented, homework forgotten.

"I'm craaaaazy and hyyyper and seeeeexy!" Sirius bounced around the room, doing crazy, hyper, yet incredibly sexy things.

Lily laughed. "You're so funny Black . . . and Potter's a toe-rag!"

"Evans, will you ever go out with me?" James asked hopefully, bouquet of roses in his hand.

"No, I have anger management problems . . . and you're a toe-rag."

Girls all around the empty even-though-it's-a-friday-night common room sighed as Sirius bounced past them, still singing. One girl broke out in Usher's My Boo even though that hadn't even existed then.

"I'm sorry girls, It's a full moon and I need to go disappear with my friends and you all should've really figured it out already, but, as you're not Hermoine Granger, I guess you're not smart enough."

Lily laughed again. "Black, you're so funny . . . and Potter's a toe-rag."

"Evans, your eyes are like emeralds, will you have my children?"

"I have homework, Potter . . . and you're a toe-rag."

Sirius crept out of the common room with an awe-inspired Peter - looking very rat-like. Authors all over screamed, "TRAITOR!"

"SIRIUS!" All the girls screamed as he left the common room. They then sighed then disappeared off somewhere leaving our favorite couple alone in the common room on a Friday night . . .

"Evans, I promise I'm not a prat anymore. I'm sorry for all the things I did."

"Oh James, Love means never having to say you're sorry!"

James then looked deep into her eyes and proceeded to ravish her in the middle of the common room, which was still empty.

"I love you James," Lily whispered dreamily.

"I love you too, Lily! Will you Marry me?"

"Of course!" Lily screamed. "I love you . . . and you've never really been a toe-rag, I've just been pretending you were because along with my anger-management problems, I had an inferiority complex that no one ever knew about! I'm so sorry!" Lily continued to sob on James' shoulder as he magically appeared at her side.

"I knew, Lily. I know everything about you!"

"Did you know that I've been having secret affairs with Snape, Voldemort, Remus, Sirius, Moody, and Lucius Malfoy?"

"Yes, but I love you anyway!"

"James, let's elope!"

"Okay!" James said. He pulled out his wand as Lily did and the proceeded to apparate off the Hogwarts grounds - because Dumbledore had seen their love through his magic whatever-you-want-to-call-it and had created a magic spot right where they had stood, allowing them to apparate. And they lived happily ever after.

Well, until they died.

THE END!

:shameless plug:

Read A Fork In An Eye by the Round Robin Ducklings. It's turning out brilliantly, and I (along with the 5 other authors, I'm sure) am immensely proud of it.